Disclaimer: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist.

Two Toddlers and a Dog

Chapter 1

Colonel Roy Mustang felt his eye twitch as he stared at the muscular Lieutenant Armstrong in front of him.

Or more precisely, what was by his feet.

"You've got to be kidding," Roy stated flatly.

Armstrong shook his head, "No, sir. This was what they found at the site. Something must have gone wrong, and converted the two into…well…Alphonse-kun is two years old, and I believe that Edward-kun is either the same or three years old."

Roy wondered what he had done to deserve this as he looked at the two preschoolers.

Alphonse was clinging to Armstrong's leg with a thumb in his mouth, and Edward was pouting on the other side.

"What do we do?" Armstrong asked.

Roy sighed. Asking their friend in Rizenbool to take care of them wouldn't work since the project the two had been assigned to was a military one. "I suppose…we find someone in the military that can look after them…"

"But who?" Armstrong asked, then smiled, "I can look after them…!!" he flexed his muscles.

Edward ran away from him in fear and gripped onto Roy's leg instead.

Alphonse started to cry, and ran after his brother, gripping onto Roy's other leg.

Roy's eyebrow twitched again, and he wondered if this was payback for all the times he had insulted Edward.

"Looks like they've taken a liking to you, Colonel," Riza stated from her desk as if it was a daily occurrence for a 16 year old alchemist and his younger brother (who had been a suit of armor just a day ago) to be transformed into two toddlers.

Roy knew that tone of voice, and resigned to his fate, "I guess I'll be looking after them, then…" He looked down at the two toddlers.

Alphonse had stuck his thumb in his mouth.

Edward was looking back up at him. "Whewe's mommy?"

Roy sighed. This was going to be a very long…… "How long will it take to undo this?"

"We have no idea…until we figure out what happened," Armstrong shook his head.

Roy sighed. I'm dead.

Roy was almost glad to be home…at least he didn't have to listen to the whispering staff about the two boys. Edward and Alphonse had quickly adjusted, figuring that they were in the care of a babysitter, and basically made a mess of everything. Papers all over the place, drawings on the walls, and a food fight to top it off.

On the plus side, Alphonse had fallen asleep. On the minus side, Edward didn't.

And on another minus side, both boys needed diapers, Roy found out quickly. Though, Edward seemed to have been in potty training because he kept saying he didn't need it, and would occasionally have accidents.

So, they had to do some shopping. Which had been a nightmare. Alphonse and Edward had run up and down the isles, and involved any other child their age in a giant game of store-wide hide-and-seek.

So now, he was glad to be home. He put the sleeping Alphonse on the couch and instructed Edward to sit by his brother and wait while he got one of the guest rooms ready for them.

Edward wasn't one to wait, apparently, and had found some pens and decided that the blank, white walls made a good canvas.

Roy returned and nearly freaked out to what he saw.

Edward looked back, grinning as he pointed to his work, "Lookie, Woi!"

Roy lost all his self control, "What the hell is that?! You are not allowed to draw on the walls!!" and for good measure, he gave the by a slap across the face. There would be discipline if he had to take care of the Elric brothers in terrible-two mode!

Edward looked stunned more than hurt as he stared up at Roy as if he had never seen him before in his life…or like he was some sort of monster or alien.

Alphonse stirred, but didn't wake.

Roy sighed, "I'm going to get a sponge and water…and you're going to clean up this mess…" he trailed off when he saw Edward's eyes water.

Tears started to run down Edward's face, and he stared at Roy, "You hit me. Mommy nevew hits me…" more tears ran down his cheeks, and he ran blindly down one of the hallways.

Roy stared for a moment, then muttered a curse and, after checking to make sure Alphonse was really asleep, went in search of the boy.

He found him curled up in the corner of a dark room where the moonlight was pouring down from the three windows in the room. The only room with more than one window.

Edward was shivering, curled into a little ball as he sniffled occasionally.

"Edward…"

The little boy looked up and hiccupped, wiping his eyes again, "M'not cwying…"

Roy nearly smirked, seeing some of the Edward he knew in this toddler for a moment before it vanished. He sighed and knelt down, placing a gentle hand on Edward's left cheek…the place he had hit. "I'm sorry…I shouldn't have hit you."

Edward sniffled and looked away, "Whewe's mommy?"

"She……had to go on a trip," Roy stated.

Edward looked at him suspiciously for a moment, then nodded slowly.

Roy scooped the boy up and walked out of the room, "I think it's time for you and your brother to go to sleep."

"M'not tiwed," Edward yawned as he rested his head on Roy's shoulder.

Roy made a mental note that children, even volatile ones like Edward Elric, forgave very quickly.

"Woi? Woi! WOI!!"

Roy cracked his eyes open, and wondered why it was so dark. Then, he remembered.

It was night.

He was trying to sleep.

He had already been woken up once because Alphonse was afraid of the dark, then again because Alphonse finally realized that his mother wasn't there. And he finally got the boy to fall asleep…and now…

Roy squinted at the clock.

…not even an hour later, he was being woken up again.

"What?" Roy sat up, frowning as he saw Edward again. It had been Edward that had woken him up to tell him about his brother's needs…seemed that, even at that age, Edward still played overprotective big brother.

Edward suddenly blushed and shifted, then mumbled something.

"What?" Roy frowned.

"Wetthebed."

Roy blinked, trying to make sense of the rushed sentence, "Repeat that?"

"Wet the bed," Edward blushed deeper, fiddling with his hands.

"Oh, for the love of…" Roy groaned.

Edward sniffled and looked at the ground.

Roy had no clue how to handle this situation. He sighed and turned on the light, then consulted the giant encyclopedia on toddlers that Hawkeye had given him for the 'job', flipping through pages and ignoring Edward's sniffles now and then.

"Awe you angwy?" Edward asked in a small voice.

Roy looked up and saw a tear roll down Edward's cheek. He sighed and shook his head, finding the right page and reading it. Putting it down, he stood up, "No. I'm not angry at you."

Edward sniffled and wiped his eyes again.

"Come along…let's get you, and the bed, cleaned up," Roy responded, standing up and reaching his hand out.

Edward sniffled again and took the man's hand with a hiccup, wiping his eyes with his free arm once more. He was silent (except for a sniffle here and there) the entire time as Roy had him wait in the bathroom while he fished out a new pair of pajamas for the boy. He was mildly surprised to see that Edward hadn't moved from where he'd left him, and placed the new pair of pajamas down on the closed hamper.

"Come on," Roy indicated, turning the water on and getting it to a warm temperature, then helped Edward peel off the now damp pajamas and get into the tub.

"Woi?" Edward questioned as he was washed off.

"Hm?" Roy cursed every part of karma for landing him with this job.

"…mommy's dead."

Roy slipped since he had one hand leaning on the edge of the tub, and nearly plunged face first into the water. He blinked, "What?"

"It was the dweam," Edward frowned, "I dun 'membew much…but I 'membew mommy died, and we was sad. And we did some'n to twy and bwing her back, but couldn't…and I usedta do this…" He clapped his hands together once, and looked up at Roy, "…and make stuff happen cause thewe was a big gate."

Roy was quiet for a while as he got the boy clean, then out of the tub and dry before changing him into a different diaper and the new pair of pajamas. "What happened?"

Edward shrugged, "I dun 'membew. Alls I know is mommy's gone, and the stuffs I told you afowe." He sniffled again, tears rolling down his cheeks as he wiped at his eyes to no avail.

Roy softened and placed a hand on the boy's shoulder, "We'll figure something out. Don't worry."

Edward looked up at him, watery amber eyes shining. He sniffled and wrapped his small arms around Roy's waist, then buried his head in the man's middle, shoulders shaking.

Roy resisted a sigh as he carefully returned the hug gently. He then picked the boy up and carried him back to the room, and placed him in bed with Alphonse since Edward's sheets still needed to be cleaned.

"Woi?" Edward questioned, a waiver in his voice.

Roy offered him a smile, "It's okay. Don't worry."

Edward nodded, and wiped his eyes, then snuggled in with his little brother.

Roy shook his head as he walked out of the room. The thing they were working on when this happened……could it be that Edward found what he was looking for and was trying to bring his brother back? Is this a rebound, or something that was taken from them? He yawned, and decided that some things were best to be left to the morning…when his brain was actually awake. And after some coffee.

With that, he got back into bed and barely had the covers back around himself before falling asleep.

TO BE CONTINUED…