Chapter Eleven: Temari
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto. Just S.E., Riyo and Kari.
Hey, took me awhile but I finally finished Temari's chapter!
After Temari: Kankurou, Ino...hmm...maybe Tenten...I don't know.
Remember, no flames and don't take this fic seriously :)
"Hey, S.E., you're running out of crullers," Riyo said, alerting her.
"What! I thought I had a lifetime supply!" she roared at her assistant.
"There are two possible reasons: One, you're at the end of your lifetime or two, you've eaten the lifetime supply," he said, explaining.
"Whatever, I'm not dead yet. C'mon, let's start the stupid show," she said, going up to that hard to pronounce place and Riyo turning off some of the lights.
"Hey! Welcome to Know Your Stars Naruto Style Strikes Back! I'm your malevolent announcer-er- just ordinary, plain announcer. Today's guest is none other thaaaaan….Temari!"
Temari walked in, fuming.
"YOU IDIOT! NOW YOU MADE EVERYBODY THINK I'M PREGNANT!" she roared. It literally blew away S.E.'s mind. No wait, it had already been blown away.
"Hah, that's probably my best one yet! Gahaha! Sit down, you soon to be mother," she said, still snickering.
Temari sat down without a word, letting her actions do the talking.
"If this place wasn't Shukaku-proof Gaara would've had you dead!" she said.
"Hmm…would it?"
"Huh?"
"Nevermind. Temari…is one month away from her baby boy being born…yeesh, the months go by so quickly," S.E. said.
"I'm not pregnant! Get that through to your thick skull!" Temari growled.
"Temari, Temari, Temari. Haven't you read How to Not Be Aggressive When You Have a Baby, the sequel to How to Not Be Aggressive when Your Teen Sister Has A Baby? You're going to live a dysfunctional life," S.E said, holding out both books that fell and landed on Temari's foot.
"Ouch! These books hurt!"
"Yeah. Learning is painful."
Temari rolled her eyes.
"Temari…has three eyes and six squid legs…blech!" S.E. faked vomiting.
"No I don't! That's disgusting! Almost as sick as you saying I have a baby!"
"Yep, and your baby will look just like you…ick…" S.E. stuck out her tongue.
"Shut up!"
"Mood swings are normal for a mother-to-be. Dr. Pamlowsky said so. Yay docters!" S.E. cheered.
"Hmph."
"Okay. Anway, Temari…she and Gaara and Kankurou both live in a yellow submarine…we all live in a yellow submarine!" S.E started sing that Beatles song while Temari got annoyed even more.
"What's a submarine?" she asked.
S.E. shrugged. She couldn't be blamed.
"Oh, you know. In the future, people are an endangered species and live in ugly and tacky submarines. You and your brothers happen to live in a YELLOW one."
Temari raised a brow.
"Liar. I'm not stupid."
Crap!
"Umm…let's not talk about futuristic stuff. Umm…you have a baby!" S.E. resorted to that.
"I don't!"
"Temari…her baby a boy! Gaara wants to name it Suzy."
"Suzy? Isn't that a girl's name?"
"I don't know," S.E. stated. Temari sweatdropped.
"Oh, and Gaara says he's gonna kill you soon. He didn't say when but he says run and hide," Temari stated.
S.E. rolled her eyes. Little did Gaara know, but S.E. had bought Sand Demon & Co. Shukaku and sand proof barrier shield. Haha.
"Now you know…the girl one month away from her baby being born, the mutant squid that lives in a yellow submarine with Gaara and Kankurou and her baby is a boy…the girl from the Sand…Temari," S.E. said a mouthful.
"I AM NOT PREGNANT! Although I like the baby showers because I get free food and even Gaara pampers me…hmm…" Temari loved the idea of Gaara bowing down to HER needs instead of being afraid of him.
"Dr. Pamlowsky says you can't take advantage of boys with Shukaku inside them, especially if they are named Gaara, but that's just me," S.E. sighed.
"I'm leaving!" Temari yelled.
S.E. waved.
"Riyo, I want more donut holes! And make them chocolate with sprinkles!" S.E. ordered her assistant.
"On it," sighed Riyo.
"Life is good," she murmured, holding Kari.
S.E.: Neh, I'm bored.
Chi: I like pie...
Natasha: I hate pie.
Chi: Well, you are a cat so it's obvious you don't like pie.
S.E.: You knew that word?
Chi: Umm...maybe...