Title: I Never Knew I Could Love You
Author: inuyashagirl5
Rating: T (Rating may go up in future chapters)
Genre: Romance/Angst/Some Humor
Pairing: Kagome/Miroku
Chapter One: After the Battle
He stood there silently. The field before him once Kaede's village was now nothing but a barren wasteland littered with demon remains, as well as a few humans. He dropped to his knees and buried his face in his hands. It just didn't seem possible that they were all dead.
Sango and Kohaku were closest to him. The female demon slayer lay wrapped protectively around her younger brother, cradling him against her chest. The remnants of one of Naraku's tentacles pierced through the armor and flesh of both siblings, undoubtedly it was what brought them to their deaths. At least they had died together.
Kirara and Shippo lay amongst demon limbs, both having passed on due to poison from Naraku's insects. It looked as though Kirara had done her best to protect the tiny kit in their last few moments alive.
He moved the two small demons over to the slayer siblings. His attention landing lastly on the half-demon and the priestess pinned beneath him. Inuyasha had done all he could to protect Kagome from the blast their combined energies had made.
He was lifting the dead weight of Inuyasha when he heard the soft pain filled moan of the Kagome. He glanced over at her to see if it was true and that he wasn't just hearing things.
"Kagome?" he set Inuyasha down and rushed to her side, "Kagome, stay still. You're hurt."
"Is it over?" she strained to speak, "Miroku, where are the others?"
"Yes, Kagome, it's over. Naraku has been defeated." he lifted her partially into his lap and held her close as he braced himself to admit the harsh truth of the moment, "Kagome, the others didn't survive. I'm afraid it's just the two of us left."
"The others are..." her voice cracked, "Even Shippo?"
"Yes." he wiped the tears from his eyes, "Shippo is dead Kagome. Sango, Kohaku, Kirara and...and Inuyasha as well."
"How did this happen? How did we lose?"
How could he answer that? They had won, hadn't they? Naraku was gone, the jewel...where was the jewel? Miroku brushed his fingers through Kagome's hair to calm her. He needed to know where the jewel was before another demon came along to claim it.
"Kagome, can you sense the jewel nearby? It is important that we locate it before other demons arrive." Miroku brushed the tears off of her cheeks and waited patiently for the young priestess to speak. Hopefully she knew where it was. If not, the two of them were in serious trouble. No Naraku meant the wind tunnel was gone and he wasn't sure how much strength he had left to protect her if something did attack.
"Yes." she nodded weakly and shakily rose to her feet. Miroku was right there to brace her.
She hadn't opened her eyes yet. She was too afraid too see the devastation, to see her friends lying there completely void of life, to see Inuyasha...she just couldn't handle that yet.
"Kagome?" Miroku steadied her, worrying over her strength and capability to move on her own.
"It's that way." she pointed, eyes still closed tightly. He slipped his arm around her waist and led her in the direction she had pointed.
"They're behind us now if you want to open your eyes, Kagome." Miroku said gently and clutched her tighter preparing for the possibility that she would collapse from the sight before them. Her eyes opened slowly.
All around what was once Kaede's village, there was absolutely nothing. Kagome felt thankful that they had managed to evacuate the village before the battle could get worse. They'd check on the villagers when they were done.
She knelt down and removed the completed Shikon no Tama from the ashen remains of the vile half-demon Naraku. The blackened taint the jewel had vanished as soon as Kagome's fingers enclosed around it.
"It's such a bittersweet victory." more tears fell from her azure eyes, "He won't hurt anybody anymore, yet this will haunt us for the rest of our lives. He succeeded in making us suffer even after his death. In a horrid, twisted way, Naraku was victorious over us."
He couldn't ever recall hearing her sound so broken in the few years they had traveled together. Even on the days Inuyasha had run off to be with Kikyo, Kagome had never sounded so small and fragile. How they would recover from this, he wasn't sure.
She rose slowly and turned to face the carnage left in the wake of the massive battle. Miroku put his hand on her shoulder and Kagome turned and buried her face in his chest. He held her close and whispered comforting words.
Miroku had taken a few moments put Inuyasha with the others before he and Kagome moved on to locate Kaede and the rest of the villagers.
Kagome's mind was still wandering all over. She hadn't come to terms with their friend's deaths. As Miroku led her along the path she smiled slightly, recalling how close the group had been just a few days before. They had known the final battle was just looming on the horizon. That was why they had returned to Kaede's village. They were going to have one last dinner together before they went off to confront Naraku. Shippo was supposed to stay with Kaede.
They sat around the fire in Kaede's hut and recalled some of the better moments during their journey together. Miroku and Sango had sat together holding hands and Inuyasha had made a comment on their closeness. The pair had blushed making the others in the room laugh. Kagome had snuggled closer to Inuyasha, silencing his laughter and causing a blush to spread across his cheeks too. They still hadn't openly spoke their love for one another, but they knew that they did indeed love each other.
They had been caught off guard a little later that evening when Naraku's minions attacked the village. Kagome, Shippo and Sango had helped the villagers to escape to a safer place before joining Inuyasha and Miroku.
"Kagome, are you alright?" Miroku lightly touched the priestess' cheek when she had begun trembling. Kagome glanced in his direction, but her eyes were unfocused. Worried, Miroku took her face in his hands, "Kagome, don't bottle it up! Please look at me!"
Kagome's focus snapped together and her eyes swelled with tears again when she looked up into Miroku's concerned eyes. She leaned her head against his shoulder.
"I'm sorry." she whispered weakly.
"Don't be, Kagome." he answered, lightly pressing his lips against the side of her head, "There is no need for you to be sorry."
She pulled back and nodded. She needed to stop herself from spiraling deeper into despair. She knew her friends wouldn't want her to be sad.
They came across some of the villagers just shortly after dusk. Miroku had been carrying Kagome on his back since the young priestess had collapsed from exhaustion a mile back. Her wounds weren't too severe, but some refused to close. One of the village men took over carrying her to help Miroku.
"Are ye all that are left? Kaede knelt next to Kagome as she was set down on the ground. She immediately set to work tending to Kagome.
"Yes, Lady Kaede." Miroku nodded, "Naraku has been defeated and the jewel is in our possession."
"Have the two of ye decided on a wish yet? It would be most wise to do so quickly so the jewel will be erased from existence."
"We will, Kaede." Kagome said softly, "Thank you for taking care of me."
"You just rest child. The village men will take care of everything else." Kaede gave a gentle smile.
"I will journey back with the other men. Will you be alright, Kagome?" Miroku asked quietly. If she wanted him to stay, he would without hesitation.
"Yes, I'll be alright." she nodded, "I just need to rest for a little bit is all. I'll be up and moving again soon."
He returned later that evening worn out and exhausted beyond belief. They had managed to take care of all burial preparations for their friends. The villagers had wanted to bury them then, but Miroku had asked them to wait for Kagome's sake. He knew she would want to be there as well when their friends were laid to rest.
"How is she, Lady Kaede?" Miroku sat next to the elderly priestess. Kaede gave a soft, sad sigh.
"Her heart is broken, Miroku. It'll take a lot of time and patience to heal." Kaede gazed over at the sleeping form of Kagome, "The two of ye have witnessed too much trauma on your journey. I am glad it is over."
"It is likely she'll want to return home soon. Hopefully her family can help mend her wounds." Miroku laid down near Kagome, "Thank you for taking care of her, Lady Kaede."
"Ye get some rest, Miroku."
Morning came with bright sunny skies, puffy white clouds, chirping birds and one girl who silently wished it was raining.
Kagome had woken up shortly after sunrise feeling chilly and caught herself momentarily wondering where Shippo was. She silently got up, stifling the sobs rising and hurried to the nearby river.
Once at the river she let everything go. All the anguish and pain came out in heart wrenching sobs until she couldn't take it anymore and let it all out in one loud scream.
"Kagome!" Miroku grabbed her shoulders and spun her around to face him.
"No! Let go of me!" she cried out, beating against Miroku's chest with her fists. He refused to release her, "Let me go, Miroku!"
"Not until you calm down."
"Calm down? How can I, Miroku?" she tried to pull away again, "He killed all of them! He killed Shippo! Why Shippo? He was so young! It wasn't right!"
"I know, Kagome. It wasn't right." Miroku agreed. His eyes shifted away from Kagome as he released her, "Kohaku had just remembered that Sango was his sister. He killed them together. We..."
Miroku's voice trailed off as he thought of Sango. All he had wanted was to spend the rest of his life with her. They had spoke briefly about their lives after the final battle. Neither of them had planned for this outcome. How could one plan anyways?
"It's just not fair." Kagome whispered softly, staring at her reflection while she knelt next to the water, "I thought everything would be okay, that we'd all be together in the end. I wanted to...to take care of them."
"Yes, my sentiments exactly." Miroku's tears fell freely, "I wanted Sango to be happy for once. I was going to marry her."
"Inuyasha and I never talked about it."
"He loved you." Miroku stated firmly. Any fool would've been blind if they hadn't seen how much Inuyasha had fallen for her.
"I know he did. We just never expressed it." Kagome frowned, "We never talked about what could possibly happen after the battle was over. I don't think we thought of the possibility of one of us dying."
"I don't think any of us wanted to think of it."
"We have a huge responsibility on our shoulders, Miroku. We have to decide on a pure, unselfish wish. Wishing for our friend's lives would be selfish, wouldn't it?"
"Yes." Miroku let out a soft sigh, "It would be I believe. I couldn't do it anyways. I'm sure Sango is happy to be with her brother and father now."
"And Shippo and Inuyasha are with their parents and he has...great...he gets to be with her in the end anyways." Kagome gave a heavy sigh, "At least he has her, even if it is only in death."
"Let's promise to join them when we are old and gray, Kagome. They would want us to be happy in life." Miroku gave a small smile and Kagome nodded.
"What do you think about restoring Kaede's village? Their homes were complete decimated because of Naraku." Kagome removed the jewel from her pocket.
"That is a very thoughtful idea, Kagome. I think that is possibly the best wish we can make." Miroku agreed and rose to his feet. He offered his hand to Kagome and helped her to stand, "Well, Lady Kagome, we have our wish. I think it's up to you now to make it happen."
Kagome swallowed nervously and glanced down at the jewel in her hand. Kagome was worried. Neither of them knew what would happen once the wish was made. Kagome could find herself leaving Feudal Japan without the chance of ever returning. Miroku would be alone, but the wish needed to be made. It wouldn't be right of her to worry for herself when the villagers, that had taken care of her, were now homeless and their land was useless. Nothing would grow for them and they would starve.
"Miroku, just know that what ever happens, I am glad you are safe. If we get separated, I'll never forget you." Kagome closed her eyes and concentrated. She poured all of her heart into making the one wish, hoping that everything would be alright in the end.
Miroku's eyes watched the pink jewel in Kagome's small hands. He knew what she meant with her last words. It was possible they'd be separated too. The jewel glowed brightly before lifting out of Kagome's hands and erupting into a blast of bright, pink, warm light. Once it subsided, Kagome opened her eyes and looked over at Miroku.
"It seems you are not going anywhere, Lady Kagome."
"Not yet, monk." a woman's voice spoke calmly and both Kagome and Miroku turned towards where it had come from, both startled by the figure standing near them.
"Ah, um..." Miroku stuttered and Kagome watched with wide eyes.
"Lady Midoriko...I...how?" Kagome questioned slightly confused.
"My soul can rest now because of your wish, Lady Kagome." she spoke softly. Kagome blushed at the respect given to her from the strongest priestess ever known, "I am sorry that the two of you lost so much in the battle with Naraku. Your hearts have lost that which they desired. However, I may be able to help you in a small way."
"How so, Lady Midoriko?" Miroku spoke up, finally finding his voice.
"I'm going to allow you to decide if you want to stay near each other. However, you will have to decide whether to stay here or if you will go to Kagome's home." Midoriko replied, "But do not decide just yet. You have people waiting to thank you and you have your friends to put to rest. I will come see you in the morning."
Miroku and Kagome sat in stunned silence. Neither spoke as they left the riverside and headed back to Kaede and the villagers.
Kaede greeted them on the roadway and accompanied them back to the reconstructed village. Everything looked the same as it had right before Naraku had come and Kagome was relived to see that their wish did indeed come true. The Shikon no Tama had been wiped from existence and humans and demons could no longer be corrupted by it's power. At least one thing had gone right in the past few days.
They spent the night with Kaede and in the morning they buried their friends not to far from where Kikyo lie. Kagome was again reminded that in the end, Kikyo had gotten her way. She pushed the thought away again. No matter what, she knew that in the end, Inuyasha had loved her.
The villagers left the two and Kaede alone to say their final, more intimate farewells in peace. Kagome had taken to kneeling between Shippo and Inuyasha's graves, whispering soft prayers that all of them find happiness in their next life. She whispered her promise to see them again someday and silently pleaded not to worry for her or Miroku.
Miroku too offered his prayers for their happiness in the next life and his assurance that he and Kagome would be fine and not to worry. Midoriko's offer lingered in his mind. He had been weighing his options carefully. He had only Mushin, the old, drunken monk and Hachi the badger demon as his companions outside of the ones he had traveled with. Kagome had a family back home that would be heartbroken if she did not return. He could never ask her to stay with him in the past. It wasn't fair. Kagome was the only friend left and he was not ready to let go.
But things were different in her time. He had seen that with the odd trinkets she had brought with her. Could he survive in her time when he really knew nothing about it? It was said to be a demon free place so they wouldn't have to fight anymore. He was sure he could learn with Kagome's help. That was even if she'd let him go with her and he wasn't sure if her family would even accept him into their home.
"Are you ready to go back to Kaede's, Miroku or do you need more time?" Kagome stood next to him, her hand resting on his shoulder.
"We need to talk, Kagome." the seriousness in his tone spooked Kagome a little, but she agreed, "Let's take a walk. Lady Kaede, we'll be along shortly."
"Ye take all the time ye need, Miroku."
He led her down the path leading to the Bone Eater's well. So many things were running through his mind, none of which he could get out into the open.
"You're thinking about what Lady Midoriko said, huh?" Kagome broke the silence and Miroku silently nodded, "It's a lot to think about. Having to decide between two homes, well...for me it is rather difficult to decide. I want to be with my family but, I...I just don't think I'm ready to part from you yet. You're all that's left of what I'm used to."
"Then it's settled." Miroku faced Kagome and sat on the edge of the well, "Can I, Kagome?"
"Huh?" she gave him a questioning glance and he grinned and shrugged.
"Can I come with you?"
"Miroku?" she looked at him and frowned, "What about your friends?"
"All I have here is Mushin and Hachi, and they're both wonderful friends but, Kagome, they'll understand." he lowered his eyes to the ground, "I'm not ready to part ways with you either, Kagome, and I could never ask you to stay here. My only choice, the most logical choice, is for me to go with you."
"Things are very different in my time, Miroku, very different." she sighed softly.
"Can I?" he looked hopeful and she gave a small laugh. The first laugh he had heard from her since before the final battle.
"I don't mind, Miroku, but we should see about saying goodbye to Mushin and Hachi first. You'll never see them again.
"Perhaps Lady Midoriko will let us go tomorrow."
"I can take you now." she appeared like it was nothing and laughed lightly when both of them jumped, "Sorry for popping up so suddenly, but I heard the monk say my name and well, here I am!"
"We've made our decision, Lady Midoriko, but I just wanted to say goodbye to a few important people." Miroku explained.
Midoriko only nodded and the area around the three of them glowed faintly and then they were swept away to the temple Miroku had lived at.
As usual, the old monk was well underway in his drinking and Hachi just lounged half asleep on the porch. They were an odd pair, but Miroku loved them none-the-less.
"Lazy as usual I see." Miroku spoke as he stepped onto the porch. Hachi jolted awake at the sound of his voice.
"Master Miroku! You're alive!" he flung himself into the young monk's arms and wailed, "They had said that nobody made it out alive after the battle with Naraku!"
"As you can see, Hachi, I'm very much alive."
"Thank heavens!" Hachi pulled back slightly, "Were you the only one?"
"If you look around, I think you'll find out."
Hachi listened to Miroku's instruction ad looked back. His eyes landing on Kagome and another woman he was unfamiliar with.
"Lady Kagome! You survived as well?"
"You sound surprised, Hachi." she replied with a frown.
"On the contrary, Lady Kagome! I am relieved!" Hachi lowered his eyes, "If it is only the two of you, then the others are..."
"Yes, I'm afraid so, Hachi." Miroku glanced back over his shoulder to check on Kagome, "It was a rough battle, Hachi. Perhaps we should sit down and I will tell you all that happened?"
All the events of the battle were recalled from Miroku's lips. Often times he'd stop to give himself and Kagome a few moments to compose themselves before he spoke again.
"I will travel to Kaede's village soon to pay my respects to them." Hachi wiped the tears from his eyes.
"I'm sure they would like that." Kagome smiled sadly.
"I have something else to tell the both of you." Miroku looked at Hachi first, then let his eyes settle on Mushin, "I've come to say goodbye to the two of you. I'm setting off on another journey and I won't be returning this time."
"Master Miroku?" Hachi looked uncertain.
"I'm going with Kagome to her time and I won't be able to return home."
"Are you sure this is what you want to do, Miroku?" Mushin questioned him. Miroku nodded, "Then I will pray for you everyday, Miroku. As long as you find happiness in life. I will always be happy for you. You're no longer cursed, Miroku, go and see things from a different perspective."
"I promise I will, Mushin."
"Keep him safe and in line, Lady Kagome. I entrust this boy to you."
"I'm hardly a boy anymore, Mushin." Miroku scoffed.
"In my heart you will always be one." Mushin bowed, "I will miss you, Miroku. You have made me proud and I'm sure your father is as well."
"Thank you, Mushin." Miroku rose to his feet and hugged the old monk, "I will miss the two of you very much. Please keep yourselves safe."
"Yes, of course, Miroku." Mushin hugged Kagome quickly, "Take care, Kagome and be happy."
"I will try." Kagome answered and followed Miroku off the porch.
"Are you two ready to head back to the other village now?" Midoriko questioned them and they nodded. Much like the first time, the pair found themselves mysteriously transported back to the outskirts of Kaede's village, "Now listen to me, both of you. Take the night to say your goodbyes in the village. When you decide to leave, the well will seal the moment Kagome goes through, so that means you must go first monk. Once through you can't come back and it'll be up to you to survive."
"Thank you for all your help, Lady Midoriko." Kagome bowed.
"No, thank you, Lady Kagome, Miroku." Midoriko smiled, "I'm going on now. Please lead good lives together."
The smile Midoriko left with confused both Miroku and Kagome. It held a sense of knowing and understanding. Kagome shrugged it off.
"Let's spend tonight with Kaede." she turned and started down the path, "Are you coming, Miroku?"
"Yes." he followed along.
Tomorrow they would go. Tomorrow he'd leave his home and journey five hundred years into the future where things were vastly different. Tomorrow he and Kagome would leave all of this behind them to start anew.
A/N: Don't ask. I've had it on my brain for over a month. It's what I felt like writing, so I did. Starts off sad and stuff...will get better later on. Rating is high due to possible citrus later on...depends on if I decide to try writing something like that...anyways, I hope you like this fic idea. I'll try to update soon. Please leave a review.
A/N 2: June 25, 2007: Edited chapter and fixed spelling errors and such.