Title: Wait and See

By: Taya Henderson

Spoilers: up to Conversion.

Summary: Brief looks inside the minds of Teyla and Colonel Sheppard through the events of Conversion.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, please don't sue.

All he could think about was her, and what he'd done. The walk to the infirmary seemed to stretch on forever, and all he could think about was Teyla.

"I kissed her, dammit." John berated himself. "I can't do that. She's a member of my team, and I can't compromise our work relationship or our friendship."

He looked back over the fight, wondering how one thing had led to another. He felt fine, better than fine, he felt invincible, then he had her pinned…there was nothing else to do. Teyla looked so shocked and defenseless; yet ready to fight…she was always so beautiful. It was hard to resist kissing her on a daily basis, sparring was another story…but this time, something in him just said "go for it". She hadn't exactly resisted, but she didn't really respond too much. Probably because of the unexpectedness of the kiss.

"What am I gonna do now?" John asked himself, walking into the infirmary.

Teyla sat on the floor of the training room, gathering her thoughts and trying to figure out the sudden turn life had taken. She had always had feelings for him, but had never dared let them out. When John had kissed her, she just reacted. The swirling and conflicting emotions coursing through her were making it hard to think. All she could think about was him. Something had changed between them, and even if they chose not to ever mention it again, it was something that she would not soon forget.

Teyla sat, staring blankly at her cup of tea. She knew she should be asleep, like the rest of her team, but she just couldn't.

"Teyla?" Ronan questioned. "What are you doing up?"

"I am finding it very difficult to sleep." Teyla sighed. "You?"

"Same thing." He nodded, sitting at the table with her. "So…just out of curiosity, are you and Sheppard…together?"

"What? No." She replied, a little defensively. "I am concerned. Colonel Sheppard is a very good friend of mine."

"So-" Ronan began, then noticed McKay coming in. "McKay. What are you doing awake at this hour?"

"I can't sleep." Rodney sighed, sitting down with them. "I'm too damn worried about him."

"We all are, Rodney." Teyla patted his arm gently. "Dr. Beckett is an amazing man, he will heal John."

Rodney looked at her, noticing how full of hope her eyes were and how trusting she was in Beckett's abilities.

"What happens if he…" Ronan began.

"Don't even think it, Ronan." Teyla almost snapped. "We have to hope. We can't let him die on us. We need him."

I need him. Teyla added softly to herself. I need him more than I ever realized, but now I know we can never be.

"Was he jealous the other day when we were sparring?" Ronan asked.

"I don't think so. Not exactly. He's so used to our sparring sessions, I think it shocked him a bit. But this whole mess with Ford has really thrown him for a loop too." Teyla shook her head. "Colonel Sheppard and I have been sparring for a year now, it was a surprise for me to be sparring with someone who is not Athosian."

"So he was jealous." Ronan nodded.

The group continued to talk, trying not to worry, but unable to stay away from the topic of Sheppard for long.

Something changed for Teyla the day John Sheppard walked into the sparring room, three weeks out from the ordeal, dressed in the most beautiful outfit she'd ever seen him in. I have to be strong. She thought to herself, I have to end this…whatever it is…before it takes hold on us and leads us to disaster.

"It is already forgotten." Teyla said then walked out, letting her thoughts wander.

Perhaps something will come of this in the future…I know now that he does have feelings for me, even if he refuses them. That in itself is a small comfort. Teyla smiled as she walked back to her room. We'll just have to wait and see.

I kissed her, I apologized for kissing her. Why do I want to kiss her again? And if it's already forgotten…does she even like me? John twirled the sticks around a bit. But, she did kiss me back a little…maybe she does like me.

He looked around the room, pausing momentarily in the spot where they had kissed.

Will we ever be together? I guess we'll just have to wait and see.