I've only seen season one and two of Criminal Intent, so apologies if some of the back story is wrong. (C'mon Five and Hallmark, show the rest of it!). Warnings for language, and other disgsuting scenes.
The Ice-Queen Cometh
"He's fucking crazy!"
Goren could hear the shouting right across the squad room. Everyone could hear it. Hell, they could probably hear it right down the corridor and into the other squad rooms. Goren stared studiously down at his pad, and continued to write, but all he was producing was meaningless scribbles. He heard the low murmur of Deakins's voice as he tried calm Goren's partner – former partner – down, but he was interrupted by the door of his office slamming. Goren's latest partner was gone, and Deakins stood by Goren's desk, sighing.
"Can I have a word, Lt. Goren?" he asked, calmly as always. Meekly, Bobby followed him to the office, and carefully shut the door behind him.
"Looks like you lost another, Bobby." Deakin said, sitting down.
"I don't know what happened." Goren told him, spreading his hands helplessly. Deakins sighed. He liked Bobby. He really did. But he was also aware that Bobby had his own little quirks. And Bobby's 'little' quirks were bigger than everyone else's. And if Deakins had to work side by side with Goren all day, he'd probably want to kill him too.
"You've been through everyone in Major Crimes. There's no-one left to partner you." Deakins told him, not unsympathetically.
"Plenty of detectives work alone." Goren pointed out.
"I know. and normally, I would let you. It'd probably be better for everyone. But in this case, Goren, you need someone watching your back."
"Someone I can trust." Goren insisted. "And the list of people I trust is pretty short."
"And the list of people willing to work with you is non-existent. Look," Deakins sighed, "I know you're a good detective. Brilliant, even. I also know that you're an oddball." Deakins held up a hand to forestall Bobby's denial – or agreement. "And I do understand it's your more 'unconventional' methods that get the results. But do you think you could dial down the weirdness a bit?"
"I did. I really thought I did." Goren said helplessly. Deakins sighed, then looked down at the files on his desk. The murder victim's lives, every emotion, feeling, thought, every important moment, and non-important hour, everything that had made them human, alive, and loved was condensed down into those few slips of paper in the cardboard folder. Deakins wanted these cases closed, and peace given to the dead. That was all he ever wanted, and he knew Bobby Goren was the best way to achieve that. That man was driven, and brilliant, and Deakins would bend over backwards to accommodate the man's little oddities if it meant giving the dead and injured victims that crossed his desk everyday some form of justice.
"Some of these guys, they used prostitutes, right?" Deakins's asked, gesturing at the files.
"Yeah." Goren frowned, intrigued but puzzled. He hated upsetting Deakins, he really did, and he really had tried to behave properly this time. It was just…his mind ran away from him, and he couldn't control where it went…or what it made him do. "But so far, I've found no one prostitute in common with all of them."
"Maybe you just haven't been looking in the right place. Maybe you need help from the experts?" Deakins said, smiling a little.
Understanding swept over Goren's face.
"I should get myself a partner from Vice." Goren said.
"I can authorise that. And Bobby?" Deakins said as Goren headed for the door. "Try not to scare this one off in less than 24 hours, ok?".
Goren opened his mouth, as if to argue he never tried to scare anyone off, then shrugged silently and left. How he could promise not to scare someone off, when he scared himself sometimes?
Ten minutes later, Goren was in Vice, on the floor above Major Crimes, watching the captain take a call from Deakins. Goren stood in the captain's office, trying to look harmless, and succeeding only in looking shifty. The captain listened to Deakins and glanced at Goren suspiciously, as if afraid he'd come to steal the silver. The door was open, and Goren, an expert at seeing and hearing things he shouldn't, found himself listening to what was going on in the squad room.
In ten minutes he learnt more about human perversions than even he had thought possible. It was repulsive, but somehow fascinating. Bobby Goran had always been fascinated by the darker side of human nature, even as he struggled to fight it and defeat it in his work. Bit by bit, he edged towards the open door, straining to overhear the conversation. Then he heard someone say,
"Hey, the icequeen cometh." And, intrigued by the nickname, Bobby turned to look.
At first, he couldn't see anyone. Then one of the detectives scooted out of the way, and he saw the tiny little blonde striding across the room, the taller, stronger men parting to let her pass. She had obviously been undercover on the street, and was still dressed as a prostitute, in a tiny black skirt, but she didn't convince. She didn't look cheap, or for sale in any way. She was too elegant, too self-possessed. She was herding the perp in front of her, a huge man who seemed absolutely terrified. Bobby smiled at the display, the hulking giant terrified of the tiny little Princess.
"Sit down, shut up and don't move." She ordered the perp, and Bobby noticed most of the men in the room turn their backs and smirk at each other.
"Yeah, I got one." Goren heard the captain say behind him. "Perfect, in fact, my own little problem child." It wasn't said with any affection or tolerance, and Goren dreaded finding out who was going to be handed to him. "Her last partner quit too, two days ago, called her a heartless bitch, amongst other things. She's back on the street, and not happy about it. I'd be happy to dump her on someone else."
The captain put the phone down, and came over to Bobby. When he saw him still watching the little blonde, he smiled. It wasn't a happy smile.
"That's Alex Eames." The captain said. "Why don't you go over and play nice, and maybe she'll agree to be your new partner." He sat down as Bobby left the room. "Good luck!" he called, then muttered under his breath, "You'll need it."