Title: Better memories
Author: Joyce
Spoilers: Nothing really, except for one from The I-15 Murders.
Disclaimer: Nope, still not mine.
Note: A new story. What can I say? I missed this w/s community I found. A little note before you start reading. I know this story isn't realistic medically speaking. So don't start whining about that. I'm not an ER fanfic writer. I just liked the idea of this and I had to write it.
On with the story, I hope you guys like it.
Better memoriesShe woke up in panic, feeling rather disorientated. Her surroundings said nothing to her but she rationally figured it was a hospital. That didn't stop the fear though. Only enhanced by the fact that there was a man sitting in her room that she didn't know. When he started speaking to her she had trouble understanding him. Almost not hearing him over the loud beating of her heart.
"Sara?" he said.
She didn't answer. Sara? Who was that? Was that her name?
"Sara?" the man said again. "It's me, Grissom."
She blinked, finally finding her voice.
"Should I know you?"
She saw pain flashing in his eyes before he composed herself. Trying to explain to her what she couldn't explain for herself.
"Your name is Sara Sidle. You are a CSI and you've been in a serious car accident. You're going to be fine but you had severe head trauma which caused temporary memory loss. Eventually you'll get your memory back. But it could be a long process during which you'll may remember small things every single day. You could also get your memory back tomorrow or next week. The doctors couldn't tell us that."
She was silent, processing the information. Sara Sidle, the name was familiar, like she heard it before. She repeated the name in her head and it gave her a small sense of regocnition. Took away some of the anxiety she felt.
"So, what are you to me? My boyfriend, brother?"
He smiled. "I'm your boss. We..we share a special bond."
She nodded, looking around her. "Were's my family?"
He gestured outside the room. "Right there, although technically there not your family. They're collegues but they care about you very much."
She sank back down into her pillow. Suddenly feeling very tired and not at all comfortable. The man sitting before said nothing to her and she just wanted to be alone.
"Could you..could you maybe leave me alone? I need to think."
He nodded, standing up. But not before touching her hand in a gesture of sympathy that felt weird to her. Like this man wasn't used to sharing his emotions. He left her alone and she fell asleep immediately. Her body still needing a lot of rest.
Grissom walked out of the hospital room, to be overwhelmed with questions.
"Is she ok?" Nick asked.
"Does she know anything?" came from Greg.
"Can we see her?" that was Catherine.
The older man shook his head.
"She needs her rest. She didn't recognise me. Didn't even know her own name. Psycially she seemed fine."
They were silent, not knowing what to say.
"Look," Grissom said. "You guys have been spending all your free time here for the past two weeks waiting for her to wake up. Why don't we all go home to get some rest. We can't help her if we're exhaused. She needs some time. Let's give her that."
They all reluctantly agreed.
"Can we see her when we get back?" Nick asked.
Grissom nodded.
"Yeah, they want visitors with her. She needs every stimulation she can get to get her memory back. For now, let's just go home."
The group made their way to the elevator when Grissom noticed a member of his team staying behind.
"Warrick, you coming?"
The younger man shook his head.
"I'm not leaving her," he said stubborn.
"You're not helping her by staying here."
Warrick looked up, a look in his eyes that Grissom knew all too well.
"Griss, I'm not leaving her."
Grissom nodded, indicating that he knew that he couldn't get Warrick to come with them and left. Leaving Warrick sitting in front of her door. He shifted in his seat, the chair not all that comfortable but he wasn't going home. Couldn't go home, sleep was not an option. Every time he closed his eyes he heard her scream. "Warrick!" Saw her lying there. He came out ok, she almost died. It should have been him, he had been driving... No matter what, he was not leaving her.
Somehow he fell asleep anyway, waking up from muffled sounds coming from her room. Not seeing any doctors around he decided to enter the room. Seeing her trashing in her bed, obviously having a nightmare. He practically ran to her, wiped some hair out her face and tried to calm her down.
"Sara, sshhhh. It's ok, sweetie. It's going to be ok."
She visibly calmed down, slowly waking up. The first thing she saw were worried green eyes. Right in front of her. She blinked and he immediately pulled back, a sheepish grin on his face.
"Sorry, I was trying to calm you down. You were having a nightmare."
She just looked at the man in front of her. He was tall, dark, gorgeous. And there was something about him that made her want to trust him. She couldn't understand why but she felt comfortable with him. While Grissom had only confused her.
"Who are you?" she finally said.
He reached his hand out and grabbed her smaller hand, shaking it.
"Hi Sara, I'm Warrick. Warrick Brown."
She couldn't help but smile at him and she saw that he was surprised by her action. Obviously she didn't smile at him often.
"Do we work together?"
He pulled a chair next to her bed and sat down.
"Yeah, we work together. We're both CSI's." He smirked. "Although I'm a bit better then you of course."
She narrowed her eyes and she saw him laugh.
"You do know this memory loss is temporary, huh?"
He nodded.
"I was just checking to see if there's a part of Sara Sidle still in there."
She looked at him, very serious now.
"Can I ask you some questions?"
"Shoot," he said, leaning back in his chair and she was a bit distracted by his tall, lean body stretching in front of her.
"How would you describe me?"
He looked thoughtfull for a moment.
"You're strong," he said. "Smart, competent, quite funny when you wanna be, loyaal. You're a good person, Sara."
She looked down, somewhat embarrased by his compliments.
"Are we close?" she asked.
He shrugged.
"We're not best buddies but we're friends. We respect each other, tease each other. We're ok, you and I."
"Good," she said, feeling odly relieved that he seemed to play an important role in her life.
"Anymore questions?" he gently said.
Her expression was sad, panicked even.
"Yeah, can you tell me how long I'm going to be this empty shell that I am now?"
He sighed and she was surpised to see a painfull expression on his face.
"I'm so sorry, Sara."
She wanted to comfort him and she didn't even know why. All she knew was that she didn't want him hurting like that.
"For what?"
He was looking at his hands, not making any eye contact with her.
"I was driving and it happened so fast...he came out of nowhere, really. It should have been me. You didn't deserve this."
"Warrick," she said, enjoying the feel of his name on her lips. "You don't deserve this either."
He still refused to look at her.
"Yes, I do," he whispered.
She had no clue why his words caused such strong emotions but somehow she refused to believe that he was right. This wasn't his fault, it couldn't be.
"Tell me what happened," she said.
He looked up, dreading telling her what happened but when he saw how badly she wanted to know he relented. She deserved to know the truth.
"We were coming back from a crime scene and we had a small argument. Something silly really, you wanted to chance the radiostation and I wanted to listen to my favorite one. I looked at you for one second and then that guy smashed into us. He was drunk out his mind and was driving on the wrong side of the road but still...If I hadn't looked at you I might have seen him. Maybe I could have done something."
She shook her head.
"Dont be stupid, this wasn't your fault. If I should be mad at anybody it should be that idiot driver. Don't beat yourself up over this, I'm going to be fine."
He saw the resolved expression on her face and couldn't help but smile.
"Yeah, you're going to be fine. And I'm going to help you every step of the way."
Hearing this man say that made her feel good for the first time since she woke up. She would need all the help she could get and she wanted him to help her. She felt a connection, something she couldn't explain but it was there. Something to hold on to.
They were startled by a doctor entering the room.
"Miss Sidle, good to see you're awake. We really need to talk about your medical condition."
"It's about damn time," Warrick muttered. Not believing that they hadn't been there the moment she had woken up. The doctor looked embarrased while Sara smiled and Warrick decided that this was his cue to leave.
"Be seeing you, Sidle," he said. Automatically going back to his habit of adressing her by her last name.
She surpised him by grabbing his hand.
"You'll be back, right?"
He smiled and she was amazed by the beauty of this man.
"No power on this earth can stop me from coming back, Sara."
He walked away from her and she had a sudden flashback where she was watching him walking away in a hallway. His words still ringing in her ears. "We're supposed to be working together. Next time, try talking to me instead of going around behind my back."
The memory confused her but it also overjoyed her. This was a real memory, the first sign of the life she had lived. She watched Warrick turn around and wave and she waved back before she focused her attention on the doctor. Little by little she was going to be ok. With Warrick helping her, recovering would be interesting.
Tbc...