"GodDAMN it." Zero snarled, trying to break free of the cage Vile had caught him in.
The whole thing had been so stupid. A booby-trap, and like a booby, he'd stepped right into it. Now he was cooped up like a canary in a birdcage, waiting for Vile to use him against X. Even if X won and saved him, he was never living this one down.
That's what happens when you let emotions overrule your brain. We should've gone in together. Zero gritted his teeth, realizing that he had done this to protect X. He'd justified it by remembering how X had gotten trashed the first time, but that was then and this was now. He shouldn't have…
X skidded to a halt in front of Vile, and Zero saw the despairing look on his face as Vile tried to use him as a hostage. Oh, no fucking way!
"X, don't listen to him! Shoot him!" Zero squirmed, eyes narrowing as he felt something creak. Maybe he could get out of here if he tried long enough…
Zero tried to ignore the battle, as he fought to break his cage. He was getting there, definitely getting there… a scream jerked his head up, and rage snapped through Zero's mind as he saw X, caught by Vile a second time.
"NO!" The cage shattered, and he leapt forward, landing on the back of the ride armor. "It's not X you should worry about… it's me!" Zero charged his buster, then overcharged it… it was the one thing, the only thing that had a hope of destroying the armor completely.
Of course, what it would do to Reploid flesh at that range… flesh it was attached to…
Zero wasn't conscious of pain, only pressure, when the explosion enveloped him and tossed him away. That… wasn't good. The last time he hadn't felt anything, he'd come close to dying. Even hitting the ground didn't really hurt.
Zero managed to turn his head, and watch X kick the crap out of Vile. It was a pleasure to see. A small smile crossed his face. The kid's grown up. Oh… ow. Now he was feeling something, and he wished that numbness had held on. But I can't feel my legs… or my arms… or anything really… crap. All he was feeling was a slowly spreading agony…
"Zero…" Zero vaguely heard X's voice, fogged with tears, and felt it as he was lifted and hugged. "Hang on, I'll take you back to the HQ and Cain will fix you up."
"X, don't be silly." Zero murmured, and was a little surprised by how… normal his voice sounded. Breathy, but still normal, for now anyway. "The teleport jamming is up and you can't let Sigma get away… right now, I'm sure you can… stop Sigma." Zero drew a shuddering breath. His eyesight was starting to fade around the edges… there wasn't much time. "X… if you… do something stupid… like blaming yourself… I swear I'm… coming back… to haunt you…" Something wet fell on his face. Oh… tears? X was crying? It was all so frustrating. He wanted to take X in his arms, wipe those tears away. "X… go now. Stop Sigma… for me, for everyone…" More tears, but then Zero felt X gently set him down. Good. There wasn't much time.
Zero lingered in a hazy place for a while, after X had left. His eyesight turned cloudy, registering nothing but fields of light and darkness. His generator and auto-repair systems were struggling to stay online and deal with the damage, but they were gradually failing, and non-essential systems like sight and hearing were on the fritz.
"Hn…?" The inquiring sound came out as nothing but a sigh. He thought he had seen a change in the colors surrounding him. And a sense of movement, or was he imagining things? It was so hard to be sure. But no, he couldn't be imagining it. His ears were picking up voices, when they were working.
"X… Hunter… repairable… control…" Zero didn't recognize the voices, but it seemed they were discussing him. Were they Mavericks? Hunters? Did it really matter? It wasn't like he could do anything to stop them.
He felt himself being lifted again, but this time in huge hands. They were gentle, and it was really rather comfortable… Zero's eyesight shut down entirely, then his hearing, and he was eased gently into a quiet darkness…
"You're not Zero," X said to the dark copy of his best friend and lover. The copy grinned, the same cocky grin he was intimately familiar with, and X repressed a shudder. Except for the dark armor, he was so much like Zero, it hurt…
The memories of Zero's death were still fresh and painful. Zero had sacrificed himself to save X, and he still felt horribly guilty about it. Although Zero's last words had helped, a little.
X… If you do something stupid… Like blaming yourself… I swear… I'm haunting you…
…Zero…
X reminded himself of that, reminded himself that Zero hadn't blamed him… but it didn't stop him from blaming himself. And made it so much harder to face this dark copy of Zero.
"Ah, true, but I know what was in his mind," the dark copy said in a voice that was smoother, darker than Zero usually used. X suppressed a shiver, and met the copy's bright blue eyes. "I know how he felt about you." X stiffened. There was no way for the Maverick to know that… but Zero's control chip didn't hold his memories. Those were in his data banks, and it was possible to copy those memories to a new, blank Reploid mind. The Mavericks had had Zero's body more than long enough to do that. It didn't copy Zero's personality and giving someone another's memories was totally unethical, but would they care? "And I know he doesn't love you."
"What?" X's breath suddenly caught in his throat at that cold, calm statement. "What do you mean?" He knew he couldn't trust this Maverick copy, it was probably nothing but lies… but he had to know what he meant by that. What the Maverick copy had deduced from Zero's memories. Dark Zero smiled slyly, confident that he had X's attention.
"You're only the latest in a long line, for him, and he doesn't care that much for you," he said smoothly, enjoying the impact his words were having on X. "The attention he gave you in the break room? He just didn't want you to die a virgin. It was a mercy fuck, X." X's eyes widened, and he shook his head violently.
"That's not true! Zero wouldn't have done that." But X couldn't stop a faint feeling of doubt. Zero had always been kind to him… well, except for yelling at him as a rookie… but had it just been… kindness? Nothing deeper?
"Oh really? He used you, X." Dark Zero smirked at X's expression of denial. "He used you while you were unconscious. Took his pleasure from you, when you couldn't resist." X hesitated. He'd felt really badly, when he woke up the next day and realized he'd fallen asleep on Zero. But surely he wouldn't have… "And he doesn't love you like he did Drake."
"What?" X's eyes widened at that comment. Zero had mentioned Drake a few times, in passing, and his tone had been full of fond remembrance. He even had a few pictures in his quarters, but he had pictures of a lot of people, usually with himself. X had just accepted it as something Zero did. But now that he thought about it, there were a LOT of pictures… "No, you're just trying to trick me, you and Sigma!" He knew Sigma was listening, and probably quietly laughing. X aimed his buster at the duplicate…
And blinked in astonishment as a blur of green light hit the copy, who exploded in a flash of light. Instead, there was a familiar form in red armor with long golden hair and laughing blue eyes.
"Sigma, you should have looked at the blueprints a bit closer!" Zero grinned at X, but X was still too confused and hurt to smile back. "There is only one Zero!" That line did make X smile… it was so completely… Zero.
"Wait, Zero!" Came Sigma's voice. "I know your secret… you were destined to follow me!" Zero's lip curled back in disgust, and he tossed his head with a snort.
"Maybe… but I still hate you."
"Fine!" Sigma's voice lowered to a growl. "If you won't follow me, I'll watch you die again."
"Zero?" X said questioningly, and Zero turned to him with a smile.
"Sorry to tune you out there, X, but the happy reunion is going to have to wait. We've got to destroy Sigma! I'll go take out the main computer while you go after him." X nodded as Zero dashed off without a glance back. He knew Zero was right… they had no time to waste.
He'd have to shelve his questions and doubts for later.
The sunrise was beautiful, turning the sky delicate shades of blue, gold, and giving the clouds a spectacular, pinkish tinge. X stared up at them, entranced, then looked down at the water. The glittering reflection was beautiful.
"Zero?" He suddenly said. "Do you think it will ever be over? Do you think we'll ever have Utopia…?"
"God, I hope not. I'd be arrested for assaulting nature." Zero replied absently, kneeling down to look for a good skipping stone. "Hey, X, how many times do you think I could skip this across the water?"
"Zero, please, I'm asking a serious question." It was a question that bothered him, and Zero's flippant dismissal of it irritated X. Zero glanced over, slightly surprised.
"Well, X, I don't really know. That depends what you mean by Utopia." Zero skipped the rock across the water, managing an impressive number of skips. "I don't really believe in Utopia, myself."
"What do you believe in?" X asked softly, watching Zero's beautiful hair gleam in the morning light, as he bent over to find another skipping stone. After his conversation with Dark Zero, he had realized that he didn't really know that much about Zero. No more than anyone in the Hunters did, anyway. Of course, they hadn't had much time together, what with the first war and then Zero's death, so maybe that was natural. Still…
"Hm?" Zero shrugged, and let fly with another rock. "I guess I believe in good enough. A world where there aren't too many wars and there isn't too much destruction. Not too many kids starve, not too many innocents die. Life isn't fair, so someone's always going to get the shaft. I just want a world where you can look at the odds and know you'll probably make it." Zero frowned as his next rock plunked into the water. "Not flat enough. Huh."
"That's… rather depressing." X found it a bit saddening, that Zero was willing to settle for that little… and had such a cynical view of the world. Zero tilted his head, glancing over at X with an impish smile.
"Oh, I don't think so. It's just realistic. Besides, a world without any conflict might be Utopia for you, but it'd be Hell for me." Zero's next rock made a good line of skips, almost fifteen. "Ah! Ye-es. Heh." X stared at the sunrise, as Zero continued his game with the rocks.
Why don't you ask him about Drake? About what happened in the break room?
Because… I don't want to know.
The Maverick was probably lying!
…Probably…I want to forget about it.
Can you?
…
"X, asking yourself questions out loud and answering them is considered by some to be the first sign of insanity." X started violently at Zero's amused voice. He had spoken out loud? He met Zero's bright blue eyes, but saw only amusement. Zero might have realized he was questioning himself, but he hadn't realized the questions involved him.
"Um… maybe we should go back to HQ and say hi to everyone." X blurted out, and Zero looked a little surprised, but nodded agreeably.
"Sure, why not? Just let me get rid of this." He let fly with one last rock. "Ha! Twenty two! New record. Note that down somewhere, X, it needs a trophy." Zero grinned, and gave X a gentle side hug. "Let's hit the road."
Zero drummed his fingers against the table, frowning.
Something was wrong. Actually, something had been wrong for months. He'd ignored it, hoping it would get better on its own, but by now he was sure that wasn't going to happen. Something was wrong with his relationship with X.
Zero liked to think of relationships as being like plants. You gave them water and fertilizer, and watched the way they grew. If you didn't like the shape of it, you could gently try to influence it, but if you were smart, you didn't prune it. Forceful measures could change a relationship, but if you had to resort to that, it wasn't worth saving in the first place. No, you watched the plant's growth, and if it just wasn't what you wanted it was time to junk it and go look for something better.
Zero was getting close to that time, and the hell of it was, he didn't know why. There was a subtle rot at work in his relationship with X, and while the plant that was their relationship looked superficially healthy, it was blighted. There was a distance between them. Not just an emotional distance, but a distance in actions and reactions as well. Zero could think of several concrete things that had changed. Before his death and revival, X had occasionally come to him with ideas for things they could do in their not-very-copious spare time. Now, Zero was coming up with all the ideas and X was going along passively. A lot of time, his enjoyment seemed rather forced, and when Zero had questioned him on it X just kept insisting everything was fine. That was frustrating, but it wasn't the worst.
The worst was the change in their lovemaking. Something cold and mechanical had crept into it. At first Zero had thought it was only boredom, although that was pretty startling… X had been a virgin not that long ago, so it was pretty soon to be bored of normal sex. So he'd tried to introduce X to a few new things, and it had turned out that X was emphatically NOT into anything kinky. If anything, Zero thought his attempts had made things worse. He was always initiating things in this area, too, but maybe that was just X's personality.
Adding everything up, Zero had come up with a few possible explanations for the changes. Maybe X was depressed. If that was it, though, why was X denying it? Zero would have been happy to help with any personal problems he was having. The second explanation he had was one that bothered him, and before things had changed, he would have thought it was laughable. But…
Zero's thoughts slid back to his past relationships. He'd only really had three, not counting X, and only one had involved infidelity. His love affair with a young Reploid girl named Demalise. He'd still been mourning Drake when he'd met her, and had tried to forget his pain in her arms. But Zero had learned that picking someone on the rebound was a sure way to pick wrong… he'd felt the same kind of coldness, the same 'going through the motions' in their lovemaking before she left him for another man.
Was X in love with someone else? Zero couldn't quite bring himself to believe that X was actually sleeping with someone else, but an emotional tie would be enough. He hated it, but he thought that was the likeliest explanation.
Zero grimaced, and shook his head. He hated all this relationship analyzing. In his opinion, if a plant needed to constantly have its temperature taken and get fed special medicine to keep it healthy, it wasn't much of a plant. He wanted his relationships to just… be. His relationship with Drake had been fierce but uncomplicated, and the one he'd had with Belinda less fierce, but almost as simple.
Analysis or no analysis, though, he had to decide what to do. If he wanted to drop it, the simplest thing to do would just be to stop asking X out, stop getting him to come over for the night. Without Zero's efforts, the relationship would promptly wither. If X let it go, that would say a lot about where his commitments were going. If X didn't let it go, if he actually came to Zero to find out what was wrong… maybe he could finally get some answers out of him about what was going on.
Zero sighed, and stood up. He walked over to his recharger, and frowned at the faint grinding sound it made as it opened. It had been repaired just last week… maybe it just needed to be replaced. He made a note to discuss that with the maintenance crew. Recharger malfunctions weren't fatal, but they weren't all beer and skittles either. It still looked functional enough, though, so he shrugged and stepped inside…
The light around him was strange, blueish green and coming from no recognizable source. Zero frowned, glancing around. He was in a metal passageway, with walls of polished metal that reflected the light oddly. It was difficult to focus, difficult to get his bearings.
"This is a dream." Zero stated, hearing his voice echo oddly. "Huh." It wasn't like any of the other dreams he'd had. Dreams of blood and death, dreams of a strange old man. No, this dream had to have come from his own mind and imagination.
Zero slowly walked through the passageways, trying to decide where he was. A fortress, like Sigma's? A spaceship? Who could tell? It seemed to be endless.
A flash of movement caught Zero's attention, and he halted, trying to determine where it had come from. The reflections made it so hard to tell… There! This time he got a much better look.
"X?" Zero hesitated, then jogged after the vague apparition he had spotted. Even though this was a dream, and he knew it, he still urgently wanted to find X. He wasn't sure why, but he had a definite feeling it was important.
At first, Zero was frustrated, as he saw no more movement. But then something else caught his attention… smears of blood on the ground. X was hurt? But he could use that blood to track him, and Zero began following the blood trail. The trail grew, becoming thick and sloppy, but Zero was curiously unworried. This was, after all, nothing but a dream. Yet, he still urgently wanted to find X.
The light seemed to brighten, and X was there. Zero gasped as X turned to look at him… he was horribly mangled. It looked like someone had beaten him half to death, then used a vibro knife on him for fun. Zero could imagine where this image was coming from… he'd seen this kind of damage before, on the bodies of Hunters who had been captured by the Mavericks. But the look on X's face was so cold, so dead, so… wrong. His eyes, as he looked at Zero, were like broken green glass. That look on his face made Zero's heart clench. It was a nightmare vision of how X might look if the Mavericks caught him… and broke him. Zero dashed towards X… and was utterly shocked when his feet suddenly touched nothing but air.
There was nothing to grasp, no way to save himself from the fall. He tried to twist, orient himself, but before he could his head hit some kind of outcropping, hard enough that he heard the sound of metal shattering. That hurt, but the landing at the bottom of the shaft was worse. Out of control and partially paralyzed, he landed on his back on a piece of jagged metal. It punctured his unarmored body easily, and Zero gagged as blood welled up in his throat. The pain was sharp, agonizing, and Zero's mind was whirling. Why hadn't he woken up? He'd had dreams of falling before, but they always shocked him awake when he landed…Zero shuddered, trying to push himself up, but he couldn't move. He gasped, eyes starting to glaze over from the pain, shock and blood loss… then he saw something strange above him. X was looking down at him, his expression still completely blank. Watching him die.
"…X…"
"Nnngh." Zero coughed violently, his knees almost giving way as he clung to the side of the recharger. If he'd had the energy, he would have smashed it.
That horrible dream had only been the start of something akin to slow torture. He had dreamed constantly, all night, and it had seemed like it would never end. The memories had perhaps been the worst part. Re-living Drake's death had been no picnic, although the dream about X was a close second on the 'this totally sucks' list.
Worst of all, from Zero's perspective, was the fact that he hadn't been recharged at all. In fact, his energy had been drained. He felt so weak, he could hardly stand.
"If I find the techs who fixed this fucking thing last time, I'm killing them." Zero muttered, and managed to stagger over to his bed. He collapsed into it with a groan, closing his eyes… he was supposed to be working, patrols, dealing with his unit, but he just couldn't. He couldn't even make it to the wall communicator. Hopefully, someone would get worried and check up on him… Zero fell into an uncomfortable sleep, as his systems tried to regain their energy.
This time, at least, he didn't dream.