Title: Suicide
Disclaimer: The title of this fiction was borrowed from the Avant album "Ecstasy." I don't own these characters, ABC does. And the song "Suicide" is Avant's, not mine. The lyrics are in italics.
By: Jade Unicorn
E-Mail: is under construction right now.
Summary: Bianca contemplates something she shouldn't.
Rating: PG13
Note: Forgive me if there are any mistakes in this.

Oh Lady, Since you walked out of my life
It feels like the world is just caving in on me
Damn, I can't live in these four walls all alone
And you know how much I love you
And how much I wanna hold you
How could you do this to me

Bianca sat on the couch staring at the wall. She had cried until she couldn't see anymore. She had yelled until her voice was hoarse. She had broken everything that she could until nothing was left. And now she didn't feel anything. She was numb.

This was the same feeling that she had after Leo had died, like nothing mattered anymore. And nothing did matter anymore, not since her and Lena were not together anymore. She imagined that this must have been what Greenlee felt like after Leo's death.

Girl since you closed the door in my face
It's been like a dark hall that has no end
I'm looking at this bottle
Gonna drink it till its gone
You might as well say this is the end
Don't know what I'm gonna do

Her eyes fell upon the bottle of vodka on the table in front of her. Beside it were pills that she had found in her mother's medicine cabinet. Yeah so she wasn't sure what she was planning on doing but having them there comforted her in some small way.

But as her mind began to rationalize their being there, she saw how bad her life was. Why should she stick around? Who would care anyways? All her mother cared about was the fact that her daughter wasn't straight. Kendall and Bianca would never be the sisters that she wanted. Frankie had died on her and Maggie didn't want her. And Lena couldn't be trusted so she had no one left to love or to be loved by anymore.

I don't know what I'm gonna do without you baby
I don't know how I'm gonna live without you lady
My life just ain't nothing without you by my side
It feels like suicide

She knew that what Lena had done was wrong but that didn't stop the love that she had felt for the girl. Every time she had found someone that she loved, they turned on her and broke her heart. The more that thought kept persisting in her mind it upset her even more.

Reaching for the bottle, her cell phone rang. Grabbing the phone, she recognized the number as coming from the hospital. Fearing that it might be Jack again or maybe her mother or maybe even Lena.

"Hello?" Her feared rushed voice called out.

"Bianca." Jack's stern voice called out.

"Jack! What's wrong?" Her slightly slurred voice said in shock.

"It's Maggie. She needs you now. She's in trouble. Come to the hospital quickly." He said slowly but with enough urgency to prove that he wasn't lying.

"Oh god, Maggie." Bianca whispered with fear and pain.

Feels like I'm on a plane ride
Facing its final hour
I'm going blind and I can't see
In front of the judge facing the death penalty
Lock and throw away the key
Can't you see
I can't think, I can't sleep, I can't eat, feel so weak
I need you to rescue me
Take me from this misery

She ran through the doors of the oh-too familiar hospital to find her friend. What could have happened to Maggie? The fear raced through her as she turned the corner to meet her uncle.

"Jack! What happened? Is Maggie okay?"

He was silent but stood strong. "She slit her wrists this morning."

The questioning look on Bianca's face prompted him to answer in further detail. "She's been under a lot of pressure lately. Especially after the funeral. She just couldn't take it anymore so she thought that suicide was the answer."

Bianca's head hung low in shame. Shame that her friend took the cowards way out and shame that she herself came close to the same. "Is she okay?"

Jack nodded. "Henry found her in time and the doctors were able to stabilize her. She'll be fine after a week or two."

I don't know what I'm gonna do without you baby
I don't know how I'm gonna live without you lady
My life just ain't nothing without you by my side
It feels like suicide

Bianca stood outside the door to Maggie's room. She had been given permission to enter but she couldn't muster up enough courage to go inside. The alcohol in her system had long ago worn off and she could feel that familiar ache and pain that life caused.

"Bianca?" The European accent asked softly.

Turning to face her, Bianca saw the fear in Lena's eyes. The older woman stood there with what seemed to Bianca to be her heart in her hands so to speak. Lena cared not about the fact that Bianca told her stay away. She cared not about the jaded past they may have had together. All she cared about was being there when Bianca needed her the most. And the young girl saw it all in Lena's eyes.

"Lena…what are you doing here?" Her tired stressed voice said.

"Jack came to me and told me that you were here and needed my help. I came as support for you, if that's alright?" Seeing that Bianca made sound indicating whether her presence was wanted, she turned to leave.

"Lena! Wait." Bianca called out. As Lena turned around she could see tears running down her former lover's face. Slowly she pulled Bianca into her arms and held her as she cried.

It won't be long before I go down
I need you girl to come around

"Miss Montgomery." The doctor came out of the nearby room that kept Maggie. "Miss Stone is requesting you. She really wants to see you."

I don't know how long it will be
Won't somebody come see about me

She pulled away from Lena and nodded to the doctor. Carefully she wiped away the tears that had fallen on Lena's coat. "I'm sorry for crying on you."

"Don't worry about it. Go see Maggie. I'll be here when you come back out."

Bianca began walking to the door. As her hand lie on the doorknob she heard Lena say something.

I'm on my knees praying to you

"Bianca, I love you."

Gonna do something that I should not do

Briefly she turned her head to face the European woman to say, "I love you too." With that said, she entered the door.

I just can't take this pain

I don't know what I'm gonna do without you baby
I don't know how I'm gonna live without you lady
My life just ain't nothing without you by my side
It feels like suicide

That's all for this for now. Maybe I might follow up to these stories if I get a good response. But writing for All My Children, or any soap opera for that matter, is hard because everyday is, as Soap Net says, a new twist.
--Jade