Disclaimer: I do not own FMA or anything else here, but I gave Wrath the nightlight for his birthday.

Envy's Bedtime Stories

"Tell us a story, Envy!" said Wrath.

Dante had a massive hangover so she had put Envy in charge of getting the rest of the homunculi to actually go to sleep rather than staying up 'til all hours making a racket, playing their bad music really loudly and fighting with each other forever claiming 'he/she started it.' So here they all were.

"Alright," he said – if he didn't shut them up soon, Dante would probably ground him. "so what do you want it to be about?"

"PUT US IN IT!" they all screamed.

"And I want to be the main character!" Lust insisted. A fight about who would be the main character followed, but Envy assured them they'd all get their turn. Of course, he didn't really mean that – how long could a night be? So Lust was first.

'The Boy Who Cried Wolf'

"Hey – I thought it was going to be about me?" Lust was about to cry.

"It's an adaptation, okay?" said Envy.

'Once upon a time there was princess named Lust. She had everything she ever wanted, and lived happily in a castle with her father. They were so rich because her father, the king, was very stingy, and charged incredibly high taxes. His name was King Bradley.

One day, Lust's evil uncle told King Bradley that he could see a shooting star if he stood on the roof of one of the peasants' houses. At first, the stingy king was not interested, but upon hearing that he would get a wish, he went straight away. Lust's evil uncle, Scar, was envious (heheh) of his brother and wanted to become king himself, so he pushed King Bradley off the roof. King Bradley caught hold of the edge though. "Brother, help me!" he cried.

"Long…live….the King Bradley!" said Scar, and knocked his brother off the edge. King Bradley fell into the angry mob of peasants below and they ate him since they were too poor to buy food with taxes being so high.

Anyway, Lust was sent to live in the countryside with another of her uncles, Uncle Roy. She no longer had the luxuries she was used to, and Uncle Roy told her only to ask for something if she really needed it. She had to watch the sheep and was very sad and bored.

Then one day, she tripped over a big rock and broke her shoes.

"Uncle Roy, I need new shoes," she told him.

So Roy took her shoe shopping, and told her she could have any pair she wanted. Roy was actually quite rich, but he was saving for a crossbow to kill Scar and become king himself, after which he would make all the girls in the royal court wear miniskirts. Still, if Lust needed new shoes, she could have them.

Lust chose a pair of pink ballet shoes, but it was a hard choice.

A few days later, Lust decided that she didn't like her pink ballet shoes anymore and that she wanted the purple pair. Lust realised that if she tripped and broke her shoes again, Uncle Roy would have to buy her a new pair. So she did.

It wasn't long before little Lust had gone through one hundred pairs of shoes, and Roy was getting further and further from his dream of buying the crossbow. He couldn't just let his niece go without shoes though, so there wasn't much he could do.

"Uncle Roy, I need new shoes," she told him, flipping through a shoe brochure.

"Lust, I want you to be really careful today, and try not to break your shoes," said Roy.

Lust agreed, but soon after buying her new shoes, she was sick of them, and broke them.

That day, Envy was walking past and noticed the mountain of broken shoes next to Roy's tall house. He understood that since he had just walked past last Tuesday and there were no shoes there then, Roy must be very rich to have been able to afford so many shoes so quickly. He also suspected that Roy must have had some bizarre personal habits…but the money thing was more important. Envy envied the fact that Roy had so much money to waste and he did not so he did the only logical thing there was to do. He made himself look like Roy and withdrew all the money Roy had in the bank before catching the next flight to Mexico where he would be hailed as Emperor with his legions of fans.

"Uncle Roy, I need new shoes," said Lust, but Roy had no money left. If Lust had not abused the fact that Roy would buy her new shoes if she said she needed them, Envy would not have known how rich Roy was, and would never have stolen all his money. Lust was 'The Girl who cried Shoes.'

From then on, all Lust could do was wear Envy socks.

This is the exact same reason why Wrath wears Envy socks. The moral of the story is to never ask Roy for new shoes unless you really really want to.

So that's why Wrath wears Envy socks and Roy went bankrupt.

The End.' Said Envy, exhausted.

"Why wasn't I in the moral? How did this turn into a story about Wrath?" demanded Lust.

"I don't know – I'm tired, aren't you all tired now?" Envy asked them.

"No," they all replied.

Envy sighed loudly.

"ME NEXT!" yelled Edward.

"Edward? How the hell did you get in here?" Envy asked. He then saw a mouse hole. "Oh, I get it," he said.

"WHO'S A SMALL BEAN WHO FIT THROUGH A MOUSE HOLE?" screamed Edward. "I used the door, you idiots."

Wrath started crying at the mention of 'the door'.

"It's gonna be a loooooong night," Envy mumbled.