Author's Notes: Did you know that I'm a big fan of the song Iris? I'm not a fan of the Goo Goo Dolls really, but that song just touches a human in a certain way, right? It's not just me is it? So, while listening to the song (which I have FINALLY gotten a hold of) I thought of how it might help get into the mind of my favorite Final Fantasy 8 character to write about… The mysterious Nida. And I've got to say, this song fits so well with any fiction that requires indecision.

Mini-Ramble: Have you ever noticed that if you type, or write, or say a word enough you start to doubt the meaning and the way to say it? I'm having that with 'perfect' right now. I hope that by the end of this story you will either A. Get tired of the word 'perfect' or B. See that the 'perfect-person' you know isn't that, not in their own eyes, and you cause them pain by thinking so.

Disclaimer: Yeah, I'm doing one of these for a first time. I don't own any of this junk except for the idea to throw it all together. Also, I don't claim that Nida's last name is Nomura, I merely use it because I look up to Tetsuya Nomura, despite how he is ruining Seifer's appearance in KH2 to make him look like a shining Eminem wannabe.

Perfect

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming,

Or the moment of truth in your lies.

When everything feels like the movies,

Yeah, you bleed just to know you're alive.

And I don't want the world to see me,

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand.

When everything's meant to be broken,

I just want you to know who I am.

--Goo Goo Dolls, "Iris"

In the eyes of others, Nida Nomura was, for lack of a better word, perfect. He had perfect grades, perfect style, perfect discipline, perfect follow-through when playing sports, a perfect eye for art, a perfect skill for magic, even a perfect attitude, if you asked others that is. In truth there was only one thing that was perfect about Nida… he was perfectly alone. He had no friends, no family, not even someone he could trust with all his sorrows and joys. He hated it when people called him perfect, even when it was a compliment. He was tired of perfect work, perfectly executed techniques, and most of all, being reminded that he was the 'perfect' boyfriend material. That one hurt the most, because he knew it COULD be right, had he the chance. But no one gave mister perfect the time of day.

The worst thing, probably, was that no one could understand it like him. No, everyone else went about their daily lives, spending time with friends, talking to family, flirting with random students and SeeDs. How could they understand it like him? The only one that even had the slightest chance had been lifted upon a pedestal, nearly worshiped as the second coming of Hyne…

There he was, in his only escape, the perfect place to hide from everything. Few people knew of this place… No, not few as in how many people knew the bridge of the mobile Garden, or how many people knew of the 'secret' place in the Training Center. This place was truly alone, almost all of the time. He'd only ever seen three other people from this place, Instructor Trepe, Headmaster Leonheart and Miss Rinoa Heartily. Even they didn't know that he could watch them from here, free from everything but the wind in his face. This place was the reason he always carried a com at his side, so that if someone ever needed him, he could keep his place secret.

From here, upon a hidden observation deck, he could see everything that felt real to him. The world was there around him, the wind in his hair, the sun on his face, and sometimes the rain in his eyes, washing away the tears. The escape could only be reached from the balcony on the second floor. There was a maintenance panel there, which, after a series of maintenance tubes that few but the engineers at Fisherman's Horizon knew of, led to the observation deck that Nida called his own. Over the years since his childhood discovery of the place he had managed to sneak a few things up here, like a small cot, an umbrella, some cameras and film and his guitar. Few people knew Nida played, and up here he could have his privacy to compose his music without being called the 'perfect' musician.

Now the male was sitting cross-legged upon the cot, tuning his guitar in the early morning sun. He knew that he would not have much time before he was scheduled to help Zell with a combat training class, and then he'd be tied to his own aviation classes all day, so he took advantage of what he had. For about an hour he'd been up there, watching the sun rise, cleaning his guitar, and just enjoying the beauty of light slowly coming across the land like melted butter. Slowly the molten gold reached his face and he let out a sigh of contentment. This could possibly be the closest to perfect he could ever be.

Sadly, his small piece of heaven was ruined by the sudden beeping of his com. With a resigned sigh the male put aside his guitar, his second love, and pulled the com from the small table beside the cot. The whole place was safe, as the observation deck did have a small, windowed shelter. It was amazing really. Nida could only assume that this place was once a hidden watch post for the mobile Cetra shelter, or maybe, due to the size, it was intended to be finished for a VIP, like the King of Cetra or something. It has that potential, and it's far away from everyone else…

"Nomura," he said into the com, faking a yawn.

"Nida?" the soft and familiar voice of the Headmaster came across clearly, cutting into the serenity of the world around him. "Where are you?"

"Outside," he lied easily. But was it a lie really? He WAS outside in the open air.

"Where outside?" Squall pressed.

"I'm floating fifty feet up in the air," the pilot said sarcastically.

"…" Nida could imagine Squall rolling his eyes in the silence.

"What is it?"

"Would you come to my office?"

"Of course Headmaster."

"It's just Squall…"

"I know."

"… Just get here."

"Yes sir," Nida responded before turning off the com, and somehow kept his anger in check.

Once upon a time Squall understood him. Both were lonely, and the loneliness was both self-inflicted and involuntary. It was their past, their present, their failures and successes that had caused them to become distant. Unfortunately Squall's ability with a gunblade had him sent upon a series of missions that lead to the man saving the world, while all Nida got was to pilot this Garden. Nida's name was forgotten the moment he was out of sight, but Squall was always in someone's mind. With a sigh the asian male set aside his guitar in its case and quickly traded his casual clothes for the SeeD Uniform he had brought with him this morning. Today was going to be a long day. Worst thing was that with Squall in the Headmaster's office, Nida couldn't even sneak down there the shorter way, via a lift that was hidden behind equipment and containers that Nida didn't know the purpose of. The reason? The lift stopped behind one of the panels of the
Headmaster's office. Using that method too much, or with people around could get his place discovered, and it was the only haven he had.

---

Squall watched as the asian male entered his office, an unhappy scowl in place upon otherwise gentle features. Nida, Squall noted, was one of the few males in Garden that could truly be counted to have that graceful elegance that could even be called beauty. Others were considered 'handsome' or 'cute' or fell into the same category as Raijin, bumbling hulks with far too many muscles and far too little brains. Squall knew that Irvine fit into the same category as Nida, just as he did himself. It was amazing to the Headmaster that Nida seemed to have no relationships what-so-ever, outside of the Instructor-Pupil and Acquaintance categories. Nida was a slender five foot ten, give or take half an inch, making him about two inches taller than Squall, and bearing about the same body proportions. Where Squall had the stormy blue-gray eyes of his mother, Nida had a deep and piercing shade of emerald that betrayed the fact that his mother was probably not asian as his father was. On top of that the man had fair skin, neither pale nor tanned, and raven black hair to compliment it all. The Headmaster knew that under the flesh were muscles much like his own. While Nida did not handle the full weight of a gunblade, his halberd, a pole weapon with an axe head on one side of the top and hooks on the other side along with a spike at the top, was heavy enough to warrant muscles.

"You wanted to see me Headmaster?" he asked. His voice had that musical quality to it, making one wonder if he would have been better suited to the life of a musician rather than that of a mercenary.

Squall gestured to the seat across from my desk. For a moment the brunette could see amusement flash in those eyes. Somehow Squall thought that Nida envied his talent to speak without saying a thing. It had always come in handy for the stormy eyed male. The pilot sat and brushed an imaginary speck from his immaculate uniform.

"Nida," Squall began, not sure where to go from there. He was worried about Nida, and how the male would disappear for hours on end with no explanation. On top of that, the other man seemed to avoid letting anyone get close to them, as if he was afraid of being hurt, just like Squall had been.

Nida brushed a strain of hair from his eyes, worried at the tone that Squall was taking. This would not be a pleasant meeting. The pilot could almost sense the turmoil in his superior's head.

"Nida," he began once more, "I called you hear because…" Squall trailed off. Using so many words would surely put Nida on the defensive.

"Enough Squall," the asian said, already sensing the path this conversation would take if he allowed it to continue. "Not everyone changes. Not everyone is willing to, or has a reason too. I'm not going to change because your friends want you interfering with my life. Maybe there is no purpose in me opening up, no purpose at all. So let's leave it at that, Headmaster, and I can get back to my life. And please, for future reference, I don't like ANYONE poking their nose into my 'perfect' little life."

The angry outburst forced the first genuine shocked silence upon Squall that he had experienced since learning that Laguna Loire was his father. Before he could say, or do anything Nida had left the office, radiating enough anger to even keep Seifer away. In the resulting, and total, silence, the Headmaster leaned his head against his right palm in what Selphie had dubbed his 'thinky-face'. What was he supposed to do now?

---

Halfway through the day, after the class he had helped Zell with, and after most of his own classes were done for the day, Instructor Nomura had taken his lunch from the cafeteria and gone to the bridge. Few people, even Squall or Xu, were here during lunch, so he'd have the privacy he desired as long as no one needed him. No use in over-indulging in his personal get-away. Besides, now that the Garden was once more in its place on Balamb Island, what was the point of using the bridge in manners other than adjusting the balance or something?

Quietly the man picked his way through a lip salad and sipped at a bottle of iced tea. He wasn't really hungry; in fact, he hadn't felt like himself since he had blown up at Squall that morning. The whole incident had made his skin crawl afterwards, and he'd spent most of the day wishing to do nothing more than finally disappear or just melt away. After a few minutes of just pushing around food he put aside the salad and wrapped his arms around his raised knees. He didn't even hear the lift behind him move until the sound of boots on metal announced his visitor.

"Headmaster," he said politely.

"It's just Squall," the voice responded before the male sat across from him on the other raised section of deck, the one Quistus had claimed as her own during the war.

"Won't you join me?" Nida added under his breath.

"…" the scarred male did not reply right away. "I didn't call you down because the others asked me too."

This statement, issued so blandly, so calmly, startled the pilot from his anger. "Doctor Kadowaki?" When Squall shook his head the male was prompted to mention another name. "Former Headmaster Cid?" Another no. "Matron?" Still no. "The Disciplinary Committee?"

The final question actually brought a laugh from the stoic hero, "Not those three. But should I be suspicious here?"

"Of those three? Hardly, they are all bark and no bite now that you are Headmaster."

"Too true, but Seifer still has a bit of fight in him," Squall offered.

'Woah,' Nida thought to himself, 'This is almost a real conversation.'

"Who then?"

"It was all me," the brunette admitted. "I'm worried about you."

"Why worry? What is there to worry about in the life of 'Mister Perfect'?"

"The cynical attitude for one thing," Squall shot at him.

"Whatever," Nida shot right back, "To quote an age-old thinker that is."

"I'm serious. I'm worried about you Nida. You seem so drawn lately. You disappear to Hyne-knows-where for massive amounts of time. You are rarely even in your quarters at night even. You are training less, I can tell from your muscles, and you seem tired, a lot."

"Whatever," Nida said again, not sure how to respond. Did Squall actually watch him that much?

"Not 'whatever'," Squall growled before grabbing Nida's wrist. The Instructor quickly tried to pull his arm from Squall's grip, and failed. The Headmaster pushed his friend's sleeve back and looked with both amazement and little surprise over the white scars tracing over the delicate wrist and arm. "Nida…"

The pilot finally managed to free his hand from the hold of the shocked gunblade master. "Before you ask, it's none of your damn business!"

Squall knew when someone was defensive. "Why?"

The asian looked away.

"Nida," he said once more, his voice soft and thick with concern.

"Leave me alone Squall."

"You don't have to be perfect in front of me."

The simple statement, of truth maybe, struck deep in Nida's heart. "What do you know?"

"I know that I had to seem perfect for the world. Eventually I got to a breaking point you know. Broke all ties with Garden for two months, at least, and hid out at the Presidential Palace with my father." Nida remembered the incident well. The Garden had been in chaos for the first few days until Quistus and Zell took charge in Squall's absence. "And I imagine that you've been putting up with perfection for far longer than a few years."

The male could not reply. How could he? He was almost in tears, and he didn't want to cry.

"It's okay," Squall said, moving to sit right next to Nida. "It's okay you know. You don't have to be everything everyone else wants you to be. You could just be Nida for once. Tell you what, why don't you take the Rag 1 and go on vacation for a while? I'll handle your classes myself. I won't tell anyone where you went, as long as you keep me informed. No missions, no test making, no teaching, just you and the world. How does that sound?"

Tempting, but Nida couldn't say it.

"Go ahead Nida. Figure things out. I'll take care of things until you get back. Let someone else handle the burden for once."

Nida felt the shock of such an offer from the Headmaster, and almost felt embarrassed that Squall felt he would need such a thing. Still, it was too tempting an offer to refuse. "Yes sir," he finally said as he stood, gathering the remains of his lunch into his hands.

"I'll handle everything. You can leave in the morning."

The asian smiled and left Squall's presence. Twenty-four hours and he'd be free from it all….