A/N: Check it…this song reminds me so much of Four Brothers. Just omg…please read check it though…seriously…Walking Away – Lifehouse please listen to the song. It's too good to just pass by. Tell me what you're thinking.
The sun goes down as the city lights
Pave their way through the darkest night
The car came to a stop in front of the old house. The street was dim, the street lights were all broken except a couple down the street. Bobby Mercer sighed inwardly as he ventured a look to the old house.
Raindrops fall as an old man cries
Never thought to ever think twice
He hadn't been home in over five years. It's been five long years since he's seen any of his brothers. It's been five years since he left the life he grew up with. Five long years since he's seen any of the faces that still haunted his sleep. And he felt guilty. Guilty because he never looked back. He felt guilty because he never called once to say where he was even though he promised he would. He felt guilty for leaving his youngest brother, alone when he needed him most. He never called to check up on him. He never called to check up on anyone. It was simply word through the grapevine that had brought him back to a past he thought he had already gotten rid of.
Of all he had
Of all he lost
A selfish life
And guess comes with the cost
Chicago wasn't as bad as Detroit. It was pretty much the life he had lived except in Illinois. This time however there was no Jerry to call him stupid. No Angel to have a few laughs with, and no Jackie to protect. God, he hadn't realized how much he had missed each and every one of his brothers until he saw Jack. He was all grown up, still skinny, but taller than what he had last imagined. He smoked more than Bobby had thought a kid his age should. His eyes were different, hardened, but yet still innocent. Then again, he left when Jack was only fifteen. Jerry was a family man, he grew up from their old ways, moved on with life. And he had missed every single thing.
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away
Jack stole a glance at his brother. He had remembered too clearly when Bobby left. They had shared a room since the day Jack arrived ten years ago when he was five and Bobby was thirteen. He annoyed the shit of Bobby, but he knew that he was the brother that could do no wrong, even if he was wrong. Bobby protected him from every single demon out there. Bobby had chased the monsters from the closet down to the hoodlums from down the street. He had chased away crack dealers trying to urge Jack into pushing, and his biological father who came around some years after he settled in trying to get custody of Jack once more.
The same old streets just a different name
Same old house just the family's changed
Pickett fence
The window stains
Freedom spells by a man in chains
Yet, here was Bobby, in flesh and blood, still very much alive when everyone else thought he was dead. It was no secret Bobby attracted trouble like honey does bees, and so when the letters never came, and the phone never rang everyone automatically assumed the worst. Bobby was the loose cannon; the one Evelyn could never get to settle down. He was a stallion, struggling to get free from his past.
They made their way up the steps, a casual joke thrown in to lift the tension they were all feeling. The house was there, standing. Inside was their brother waiting, like so many times before. But this time it was different. This time there was no mama to scold them on the other side of the door. This time there was no punishment waiting because they never called to say they were coming late. This time there were no hugs waiting on the other side because someone was scared for them. This time there was no Evelyn.
Silence is all we have to give
And the memories of a life I wish we'd lived
Bobby sighed taking charge of his younger brothers. He could hear Jack strumming on his old hand me down guitar. He could hear the similar chords of his childhood being played out as he broke down crying in the bathroom. Angel's old radio once again humming a sad old song of the memories past and the sounds of his cries echoed through the bathroom and through the house as the younger brothers pretended not to hear.
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away
Jack felt numb as strummed faster, his tears blurring his vision. There was once a time he knew when he would be the one in the bathroom crying because he remembered how his dad got him back for a few days. He had come back home to the Mercer house different. His dad had tried selling him for drugs on the street the night he came back. Jack had nearly killed the twenty something year old drug dealer scared, he threw the gun out down by the river. His dad had found out and nearly killed him that night. That night Jack had killed his father.
In the end the judge had cleared him of all charges saying a seven year old boy was simply scared and the gun was his only way of self defense and sent him home with his mama. At home he was jumpy, scared out of his mind when his brothers came too close. He couldn't sleep at night remembering the sounds of the loud gun shots and his father's yelps of pain, confusion and surprise run through his head until he finally couldn't take it anymore.
He didn't want to wake Bobby up so he went to the bathroom and cried. He had never felt so alone. Bobby knocked on the bathroom door before he had the chance to even let a tear fall out. When Jack didn't answer Bobby walked in to discover Jack holding his own .25 mm gun to his head.
In the end Bobby had convince Jack to give him back the gun. The rest of the night Bobby had let Jack cry himself to sleep, never leaving his side. Angel had woken up sometime after and noticed the gun and Bobby and Jack in the bathroom. Jack half asleep as Bobby lifted him and carried him off to bed. Angel figured what happened, and the next day Bobby and Angel locked their guns in a safe away from Jack.
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away
Jack snapped back to reality as the bathroom door opened Bobby walked in, his eyes bloodshot. Another sick joke from Bobby to try and lighten the mood had come and passed and Jack knew there were plenty more where those came from.
There were so many unspoken words between the two. The feeling of betrayal and abandonment still fresh in Jack's mind as he watched Bobby plop down on the end of his bed, his eyes closed.
From all that you made
That you lost
Or threw away
Traded in for a brand new life
Flashback:
"Where you going?" Jack asked coming home to see Bobby packing the last of his things from the room.
"You're getting your own room now," Bobby said looking up surprised to see his brother home so early.
Jack's mind raced as he tried figuring out what Bobby meant. He knew what Bobby meant, but he didn't want to know. He tried playing stupid saying that he was moving into the next room over with Angel, or the apartment Jerry had bought a couple of blocks away, but deep inside he knew. Bobby was moving away.
But I can't
Can't let go
Can't turn around
Hold my head high and walk away
"You're leaving me aren't you?" Jack sputtered out dropping his book bag and walking up to Bobby.
"I'm not leaving you kid. I just, I just got to get out of here," Bobby sighed.
It was his first day home from jail in over six months. But he knew he couldn't stay in Detroit any longer. There was nothing left here for him. Jerry had already started trade school, and Angel already planned enlisting straight out of high school. In all honesty he never really considered what would happen after he left. He never really considered what shit Jack would get into. But Jack was Jack. He never touched a drop of alcohol in his life, even with all the booze Bobby had snuck in throughout the years. He wasn't as hard as Angel, or maybe as smart of Jerry, but Jack was something else. He was something better, and for that Bobby wasn't scared of leaving Jack.
"I just got to go," Bobby added noticing the betrayed look on Jack's face. "Jackie…"
Bobby moved to give his youngest brother a hug, but stopped when Jack stumbled backwards. It was the first time Jack had ever inched away from Bobby. Before, Jack used to follow Bobby like he was his shadow, his tail, never leaving Bobby's side. And even with all the hassling from Bobby and his other brothers when he tagged along late at night Jack knew they didn't mind. Because they were brothers, and nothing and no one would ever try changing it. Jack never imagined in his wildest dream that Bobby would be the one to change it. Bobby would be the no one who would pull the him from the life he had built.
"Don't touch me," Jack sputtered out backing out of the room. "You're leaving just like every other fucking person did. You're leaving just like everyone else!" Jack yelled.
"Jack I'm not like everyone else! I'll call you!" Bobby tried reasoning.
"NO! Fuck you, you won't fucking call!" Jack screamed, his voice tight as he started to hyperventilate.
"Jackie breathe!" Bobby said rushing to Jack's side as he breathed in a sharp breath. "Jackie…"
Jack shrank back. "Fuck you…just fucking leave…"
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away
Bobby felt his blood run cold. Angel who had just stepped into the house and heard the yelling ran up the stairs. He saw Jack in the corner hacking out loud, tears mixed in. His sobs embedded in Bobby's dreams, haunting him even in his new life. Bobby backed away slowly as Jack coughed up a crimson looking ball of spit. The kid had made himself sick. He was yelling, his words incoherent as Angel yelled at Bobby to dial 911. And Bobby did.
He stayed with Jack that night. They had put Jack on some heavy duty sedatives to try and figure out what had made Jack go ballistic. They had later found out he took some crank, and paranoia had gotten the best of Jack during the argument.
Jack opened his eyes later that night. The moon was hidden somewhere behind the clouds and he could see Bobby's form walking away from the room.
-end of flashback-
Jack's screams of pain brought Bobby back to reality as he fell down next to his brother. Jerry and Angel crowded around him, tears in their eyes. Jack's blood stained the snow and the sidewalk as he desperately tried to stay strong.
"Jackie…come on Jackie breathe!" Bobby yelled in sheer desperation.
He felt his eyes blurring and realized that he was crying. And he knew that he was crying because he needed to say good bye. He was crying because he knew Jack was never going to be able to follow him into wherever he dragged the younger boy anymore. Bobby knew he was crying because the life he had left behind had suddenly come back, and he realized that it was the life he always wanted. And he cried knowing he could never have it back. He watched as Jack tense from behind him. He watched as the blood came through Jack's mouth as he locked eyes with Bobby. And Bobby cried and stood up, knowing that in the end he had to walk away.
Hey, remember me
I remember you walking away
A/N: Hey you guys..here's a finished fanfic for you guys. It's a oneshot. I really love this song and I really really was moved by it. I hope you guys like it…and um tell me what you think! Please! Oh and for those following past beginnings, I should have it up by tonight!
-Liz