Note: This is borderline T and M for implication. Please be warned.
A Melodic End
When I was young, I was brought up with strong morals. The Fire Nation is superior. Everyone else is below. For years now I have followed those very principals. My peers have often called fire the 'Superior Element' and upon thinking about it, that makes a lot of sense.
Fire benders can create fire…others can only bend their element that's already there. And think of the element itself. Fire clearly represents power and majesty. It shows aggression and passion. And what is Earth? Dirt. Air? You can't even see it. Water? Blue. They are nothing. Fire is everything.
When I was younger I was very close with the Prince of the Fire Nation and it was expected of me to join the military. Ozai, who was several years older than I, said his brother, at the time, had rejected the throne. He told me when he became Fire Lord that he could easily promote me whenever I wanted. Ozai was like a big brother to me and as an ambitious young man his idea appealed to me.
When I was fifteen I enrolled into the military. Of course then Ozai had not been Fire Lord yet, but his father was growing older with every passing year. And Ozai was nearing twenty-five by now. But he said if I worked then it would pay off. I could be one of the most conquering generals of the Fire Nation before I was thirty.
As a private I was given very menial chores to do. Sharpen the weapons, scrub the toilets. This would never do for me. I was above this sort of thing. We captured Earth Kingdom filth to do this sort of thing. I vowed that when I was of rank I would never touch something like a scrub brush again.
Luckily Ozai was right. His father had always liked me, and although not as soon as I was hoping I was promoted. I went directly from a Private to a Lieutenant. And my first mission in my new rank changed my life forever.
At first, the job sounded demeaning. However I knew the Fire Lord was counting on me. If I did well I could get to Captain, Commander even, someday. I would do anything for that title.
He said that he suspected the Southern Water tribes, who had been practically destroyed at the start of the war, were forming a rebellion. Although this would normally be no threat, word was they had banded together with experienced Earth benders. He wanted me to disguise myself as someone of the Northern Water Tribes and gain the civilians trust. So they would tell me any plans. Then I could alert some fire benders nearby and we could knock out any military leaders directly.
I winced at the thought of dressing in those wretched blue and white parkas. Peasant clothes. But if I could knock out a possible rebellion, my image would be saved. But what if it was all for nothing? What if there was no revolution in progress? I would frown upon myself.
But I took the mission, in hopes that I would indeed be able to advance to Captain. I was told to go under an assumed name so I decided upon Hazo (pronounced Hay-zoe), which was a configuration of my own name. At the time I was nearing my twenty first birthday so I would also pose as a warrior of the water tribes. They also asked me to come up with a back-story, in case any nosy water tribe imbeciles had the sense to ask me about my life.
Supposedly I was Hazo, young warrior of the Northern Water Tribes. My mother Layza was a bender and healer and my father Kian was an architect. I had twin siblings, a younger brother and sister who were called Judo and Juna. Judo was able to bend like my mother. I was supposed to be skilled with a spear and knives and also had a little experience with a crossbow. Pff…ridiculous. I still can't believe I went through with it.
Before the mission I was presented with traditional garb of the Northern Water Tribe. (Which I'm sure they stole or murdered for. Which is partly why I didn't want to wear it. It had touched the skin of a peasant!) Disgusting, really. It was a clunky heavy cloak of blue and white. Lord, such inferior colors. It took me much effort to put it on. I wanted to gag every time I looked at it. In addition I was forced to wear a thin layer of mud on my face. My skin was too light to be truly that of a water tribe warrior. Also I was forced to wear my hair differently. They made me shave my side burns off (which was a mark of a truly high ranking officer) and coiled threads around my hair and fashioned it like a man of the water nation.
It was awful. Absolutely sickening.
Once I had been given my back story, my supplies and methods of communication, they gave me a water nation canoe. I can not image how the idiots got around in these things. No wonder they surrendered so easily. Never the less, it took my quite awhile to reach the South Pole.
Days and days passed and as it got colder I noticed my rations of food were running low. Those in charge of organizing my mission had hoped that the peasants would be hospitable and offer me food. However, they clearly did not know how difficult the icy waters were to navigate. They did not expect that I might not be able to find it.
I was beginning to grow extremely impatient. How long had I been drifting in the endless sea. Where the hell was this stupid tribe? Lucky for me, one day, when I had just about lost hope, I heard voices. I had been laying down in my canoe for some time and for the first time in a while I glanced over the top of the wooden boat. Sailing about a hundred feet away was another canoe. A young man, probably my age, was humming to himself and sharpening a blade.
He wore a heavy blue coat trimmed with white fur. He had dark skin and hair as well. He must be from Water Tribes. I wondered how I could get the idiot's attention. He didn't look busy but I didn't want to outwardly say 'Hey you, come over here and get me!' I decided I'd simply approach him politely. I grabbed my oar and began paddling my way in his direction.
When I was within a few feet, I said softly to him, "Excuse me sir, I'm lost can you help me?" He didn't look up right away…he just kept sharpening in that stupid knife. I badly, badly wanted to throw something at him. However, I had a feeling that wasn't the best way to gain anyone's trust.
When he finally did look my way I hadn't even noticed, being that I was debating throwing my last rations of food at him. His voice startled me. "Hello there, stranger. Sorry about that," he said tucking his knife safely away. "Sometimes I get into things so deep that I just can't hear anything else. Did you say something? It certainly is a good thing you were close by, I saw you out of the corner of my eye. But if you hadn't you would have been libel to throw a fish at me eh?" Pff…my thoughts exactly. Of course I didn't say that, I just chuckled softly as if to say 'No, of course not' even though if he had kept me waiting any longer I may have.
"Anyway," he continued. "Allow me to introduce myself. I'm Hakoda (okay, in Bato of the Water Tribe I thought he said their father's name was "Koda" but said it was Hakoda. In the subtitles it says Kota…so we have some confusion. For now I'll stick with Hakoda but if I find out it's different I will change it) of the Southern Water Tribes." He extended his hand to shake. Uggh…how disgusting. Shaking hands with a lowly commoner…I almost visibly flinched. Luckily I controlled myself. I took his hand and shook it, much to my distaste.
"Yes, hello…My name is Hazo and uh I guess you can help me, I'm looking for the Southern Water Tribe."
"Oh well of course I can!" he beamed. "Just where are you coming from? Our sister tribe?"
"As a matter of fact yes. My great grandparents were born in the South and I left home several months ago to get in touch with the other part of my culture." He sat back watching my explanation with great interest. Ha, what a fool! I was telling him out right lies and he actually believed me.
"That's great!" he said after I finished. "You've come to the right person. I can tell you everything you want to know about our tribe. Come on, follow me!" He said picking up his oar. He began paddling in the other direction, so I assumed I ought to do the same.
On the way, he blabbered on about customs and food and all sorts of nonsense I had no interest in. Of course I nodded and said things like 'fascinating' or 'really?' at the appropriate times. It seemed to keep him satisfied. Finally he stopped talking and asked me to talk about 'my' tribe. Luckily I was supplied with a little insight about the Northern Water Tribes before I left. I racked my brain to see if I could remember everything.
"Uh, well it's huge. Really big. I don't know how big your tribe is, but it's pretty large. And well there are tons of water benders, large buildings and it's got great big parties. But it's all kind of flashy for me…I figured the Southern Water Tribe would be different." Oh that was nice and convincing. Again he looked amazed by my words.
"Huge buildings really?" he said excitedly.
"Oh yeah," I said. "Gigantic." Then I thought of a casual way to bring up the Fire Nation. Perhaps I could get a little in sight. "I guess it's been preserved pretty well. They fought off the Fire Nation really well." Damn right they had. Stupid water-bending bastards. They had so many and they were all extremely knowledgeable. It was one of the few places we had left to conquer.
I watched his face harden at the words. Clearly he disliked the Fire Nation. Jealous of our superiority, I suppose. "Yes, our tribe however didn't fair so well against them." I pretended to look shocked. "Really?" I said, in my best-concerned voice. "What happened?"
"Well…the tribe isn't that large. And for awhile now we've been significantly weaker. When my mother first moved here, when she was young, they had a massive invasion. Those evil…they destroyed most of the South Pole." He looked out into the distance. "But that's all about to change," he muttered.
At last, it seemed my mission would not be wasteful after all. I pretended to be confused. "What do you mean?" He shook his head as though he wished he hadn't said anything.
"It's nothing," he said. "Really…besides look," he said pointing in the distance. "We're home."
I followed his pointed finger. In the distance I could see very small tents and smudges of blue and white walking around. He was right…they certainly did look weak. I smiled to myself. This was going to be easier than I thought.
As we rowed up to the ice I saw several figures approach. Another young man of my age, a woman probably in her mid forties and finally a very young woman carrying an infant. Hakoda jumped out of his canoe and hugged the first young man. He then moved the middle-aged woman, he hugged and kissed her on the cheek. Finally he moved to the last person. The young woman. I didn't realize until he kissed her deeply on the lips how beautiful she was.
She was deeply tanned and had beautiful brown locks of hair that cascaded onto her shoulders. She couldn't be much more than seventeen, which was only two years younger than myself. She was more beautiful than anyone in the royal court. Her eyes were blue, like everyone else in her village. But they were a very special blue, like none I had ever seen. Within the depths of the light blue lurked a darker blue, like that of the ocean. She had eyes like no other.
I snapped out of my daze when logic struck me. This woman was a filthy commoner. She was not fit to shine my shoes, let alone have a relationship with me. I averted my eyes as Hakoda finished his greetings. Suddenly he glanced over at me.
"Oh how rude of me," he said as though he completely forgot I was there. "Come here," he said gesturing for me to get out of the boat. I obliged as I rose from my seated position and cautiously walked up onto the ice.
"This is Hazo, our brother from the Northern Water Tribes. He has come here to seek some of his long lost ancestry. Hazo, this is my best friend Bato," the other young man stuck out his hand for me to shake. Again I felt like vomiting, but I reached for his hand and shook it anyway. "Nice to meet you," he said kindly. "You too," I lied.
"And this is my mother, my wife, and our new-born son, Sokka." So the pretty woman was married to that fool. What a waste. All though before I could think anything else about her I remembered who she was. The enemy.
"Welcome to our tribe, so nice to meet you Hazo," the older woman said bowing respectfully. I bowed in turn and said, "You as well ma'am."
His wife put out her hand for me to shake. I took it, and before I knew what I was doing I kissed the back of it. "Enchanted, Miss." I said smoothly. She smiled. It was a beautiful smile too. One of those smiles that you could never ever get tired of. One that completely lit up the owner's face. "Same to you Hazo of the North," she said as I released her hand.
I then took a look at the baby she was holding. The little boy was wrapped up and in many blue pieces of cloth as to protect him from the blistering sting of the wind that he had not adapted to yet. His skin was dark like all the others, but I could see that he had the same special blue eyes like his mom had. His head was coated with a few strands of dark brown hair. Besides the eyes he looked like an ordinary baby.
"And who is this strapping young man?" I said playing my part of a gracious water tribe villager. I needed to stop scowling and start pretending I was actually interested. That's what all the fools did down here.
The baby took a long look at me. I locked eyes with it. The child looked as though it was studying me hard. A voice interrupted our stare down. It was his mother. "This is our little angel, Sokka," she said smiling at the little human in the bundle of sheets. She nuzzled her nose again the nose of her infant and the child giggled happily. When she brought her head back up she looked at me.
"Would you like to hold him?" She said sweetly, out stretching her arms. I was never very good with infants. When Ozai's first child was born, roughly a year before, Ozai asked me to hold the little squirt. I did, being that Ozai was a good friend. The baby squirmed around and when I tried to sit him still he bit me. You can imagine the fiasco that was. The baby cried, I cursed and Ozai's wife came over screaming that I'd better leave her baby alone.
I never liked that kid.
When I left the Fire Nation Ozai's wife was pregnant with another one. Hopefully this one would turn out better.
Anyway, I decided against my better judgement that I would hold the little munchkin. For the woman who had birthed him. "Uh, sure," I said as I began out stretching my own arms. As soon as the child neared me, it screamed very loudly. Everybody took a startled jump back. His mother looked greatly concerned as his mother pulled him back into her chest.
"Sorry," she said, rocking her infant while whispering soothing sounds into his ear. "He must not like strangers very much," she gave me a meek smile before she turned to her husband.
"Darling," she said. "Please take him, I need to start dinner," she said as she kissed the top of her baby's head before she handed him to her husband. She then gracefully kissed him on the cheek before running off into the crowd of blue and white parkas.
Hakoda looked at his son, cradling the infant gently. "I guess it's time for some male bonding, huh?" The child giggled happily in response to his father's voice. Hakoda looked up from his infant to me. "Why don't you come with us?" he suggested. "You'll be here awhile right?"
"Well…sure I guess," I said shrugging, really not interested in whatever the heck he was going to do. "Then come with us, so we can get to know you. It'll be the four of us men, going ice fishing!"
Ice fishing…great. Definitely something I was not looking forward to.
The imbeciles dragged me along anyway, despite my protests. I tried to be as gracious as possible by saying I'd get in the way and I had better unpack but the idiots insisted on taking me along. They said it would be…fun.
The whole day we just sat on the ice, freezing our asses off while sharing stupid stories. By the time the fools decided to call it a day, I felt like I was about to explode. They kept asking me questions and sticking their noses in my business. I kept my answers as vague as possible, which I think irritated them slightly. Ha, good. Serves them right, lowly peasants.
When we got back to the tribe, I was unsure of what to do. Unless someone invited me into their home I'd have to put up my own tent. I wasn't exactly skilled in that area and it could prove badly for my image of a "skilled water tribe warrior". I didn't say anything though, I merely made for my canoe and picked up my things. I made like I was going to set up a tent. While Bato and Hakoda talked about…water spirits or whatever I pretended to begin to prepare my tent.
Just then Hakoda looked over at me. "Stop that!" he said walking briskly over to me. He pulled the tent materials right out of my hand. He had some nerve. Oh later I'd make him pay. "You don't have to do that! You must stay with my wife and I! You are our honored guest!" he said tucking the tent materials back into my bag.
I began to get to my feet. "Are you sure, I don't want to be a burden," I said in a nervous voice. Damn I was a good actor. "Nonsense!" he said slapping me hard in the back. I almost fell over, and that got a laugh from his friend Bato. Yeah, I thought. Laugh it up now. Let's see who's laughing when your stupid rebellion gets crushed.
"You stay as long as you like," Hakoda said interrupting my thoughts. "Come on," he said putting his arm around my broad shoulders while Bato followed behind carrying the baby. I swear if this idiot doesn't take his hands off me - I thought as Hakoda guided me under a blue tent flap. Then my eyes widened at the sight in front of me. There she was, standing over a kettle, smiling to herself, humming. Was it possible she had grown more beautiful in the few hours I was gone?
"Evening honey!" Hakoda announced merrily, walking over to her. "Your men folk are home!" he said before kissing her lightly on the cheek. She blushed slightly and averted her gaze, which happened to land on me. She starred at me a moment, searching for something. The expression on her face was indescribable…even today I can not read what she was thinking. Did she know who I was? Did she care? What was going on in the mind of hers?
My mind was racing with questions so quickly, that I hadn't noticed she had looked away and was now heading towards her offspring. She took the baby from Bato and held it high above her head. "Sokka, darling!" she exclaimed while bringing the child back down for an Eskimo kiss. The small human giggled at his mother's touch.
Hakoda joined his wife and son. They looked like a perfect portrayal of a Water Tribe family. Standing around each other, smiling, laughing, loving. Part of me wanted to gag…and the other part? It was like an inescapable emotion had washed over me like a wave. I can not describe it, even if I wanted to.
The family moment was broken when Hakoda announced that I would be staying over for awhile. His wife said that was wonderful and to make myself at home. While they bid their farewells to Bato, it gave me time to examine their living conditions.
It was miniscule. There was a small fire opposite the entrance, flickering with majesty. How I missed firebending. This fire would give me a lot of hope in days to come. Atop the fire was a kettle and something was obviously cooking. There was a very low table with cushions placed around it, which I assumed was where they ate. They had two sleeping bags as well, placed on top of thin mattresses off to the side of the tent. And everywhere there were animal pelts for rugs and decoration. I was beginning to wish I could mount some of the water tribe people's heads.
After Bato left I was told to take a seat around their small, low table. Then Hakoda's wife began dishing out what was in the stone cauldron. She called it "stewed sea prunes"…and it smelled terrible. It tasted even worse. I don't know how I managed to force it down while at the same time keeping a straight face.
"So Hazo," the woman began taking a seat in between her husband and me. "Do these compare to the sea prunes you've had at home?" I smiled charmingly at her.
"Madam, I've never had better," which if you think about it was true. I had never had them before…so technically I wasn't lying. She smiled modestly, as though I had really made her day. Almost like…she was trying to impress me? I tried to tell myself even though I was irresistible(girls back home practically threw themselves at me) I shouldn't get too arrogant. After all this woman was married. Still I don't see how she could keep her hands off me.
"Oh, you're just saying that," she said turning away, taking a spoonful of the prunes and placing them delicately in her mouth. "Oh come on, dear!" her husband said from across the table. "Hazo wouldn't lie to you!" Hmm…shows how much he knows. Not only was I lying to her, I was lying to him, and everyone in their entire village. It was amusing to know things that they didn't.
"He's just being nice though," she said after she swallowed the food.
"No, I'm serious!" I said to her. "These really are the best sea prunes I've ever had." Again…not exactly a lie.
"Anyway," she said deciding on a change of topic. "Hazo, tell us about your family, are you married?" I almost wanted to laugh. She so obviously wanted me. She was almost worthy too, if she wasn't from the filthy water tribes. I decided to play along though.
"No actually," I said, turning away, forming a sympathy lie. "I almost married someone last year, I made her a necklace and everything. Her name was…Liya (Lee-yuh) and she claimed that she was in love with me. But one day when I was going to show her the song I wrote for her…I found her, kissing the town blacksmith…" I tried to get a few fake tears to spill from my cheeks. A little moisture formed in my eye and I tried to coax it to run down my face. After many fake sobs the tear spilled. Excellent.
I looked up for a moment to see them starring with heartbroken eyes. I hastily wiped the moisture from my cheek and stated that I was sorry.
"There is no need to be sorry Hazo," she said edging towards me. She rested a light delicate hand on my back. "What Liya did to you…you have every right to cry. In fact, it's better if you do. Most men try to bottle up their feelings, try to be masculine. But let me tell you right now, women appreciate men who show their emotions. You will fine one who does, I promise."
I sniffed a little and looked into her deep blue eyes. "Really?" I said pitifully. "You think so?" She smiled warmly and we locked gazes. For that moment I had forgotten about my mission, about my rank, about myself. All I could was angel in front of me.
The moment was ruined when her oaf of a husband came over and included himself in our conversation. "Of course! There's plenty of single girls around here!" he said clapping my back sharply. "Dear," he said addressing his wife who finally looked over to him. "You should introduce Hazo to some of your friends! We could go done to the Ice Hole, where we first met, and double date!"
The Ice Hole? Wow…sounds great. Sitting on the ice with some woman no where near as pretty as Hakoda's wife talking about nonsense. Absolutely fantastic.
His wife looked hesitant as to the idea. Hmm…maybe cause she didn't want to see me with any of her friends. Not that I could blame her. After all, I was the best looking guy in the whole tribe no doubt. Finally, she looked as though she had come to a decision.
"Sure," she said forcing a smile. "I'll tell Kayana, she would love you Hazo. And I'm sure you'll love her. Very sweet girl," she said as she began clearing the table. Ahh…thank god. No more of that prune crap.
Once the table was cleared, she sat back down between her husband and myself. They appeared to want to talk some more. However, before they said anything of any significance, someone appeared at their tent flap.
"Mom!" Hakoda said, bouncing up from his seated position. The middle-aged woman smiled warmly at her son and embraced him.
"What brings you to our humble abode at this hour?" he said, as his wife joined him.
"Ah," said the older woman. "Can't an old lady see her son once and awhile?"
"Well, of course!" he said leading her in. "Have a seat next to Hazo, you remember him right?"
"Yes, how are you Hazo of the Northern Tribes?" Great, more boring conversation. Would I have to listen to lady blather on about nonsense like her son did?
"I'm doing great," I lied. When she looked away, I felt myself begin to frown at my own annoyance. This was going to take forever…all I wanted to do was say "Hey are you planning a rebellion? Great, now bye." These people were infuriating. I suddenly noticed the older woman starring at me. I quickly wiped the scowl off my face.
She inspected me, her eyes thinning. I did not like that look from her. She stopped when she noticed I knew she was starring. She quickly turned her head away for a moment as to look at her grandchild. She wasn't fooling anyone though. We both knew that she was up to something. Crazy old broad…
"So Hazo," the elder woman said turning to me. "I actually grew up in the northern water tribes. Tell me how is it up there since I left?" Crafty one, she was. Trying to see what I knew.
"Fine," I said, giving out a little information as I knew how. It clearly irked her. I felt like laughing a little. Maybe things wouldn't be so bad after all. She didn't stop though.
"Do you by any chance know a man named Pakku?"
"Nope, can't say that I have," I replied as Hakoda's wife begin giving out desert. She set a white little ball on front of me. I looked at it with confusion. "Come on!" she smiled. "Don't tell me they don't have chocolate snowballs in the North Pole?" Her mother in law glanced over at me.
"I had chocolate snowballs when I was a girl, you've never had one Hazo?" She said putting extra special emphasis on the word "I".
"Lighten up Kana," said the younger woman. "Maybe Hazo's mother never made them!"
"Yes," I said. "When I was little mother didn't give us many desserts. She said she didn't want to spoil us." Hah, gotcha lady! She was annoyed, I could tell. She ignored my last statement though and continued with her barrage of questions.
"I'm surprised that you've never heard of Pakku, he's one of the most powerful benders in the entire North Pole." She said before taking a bite of her chocolate snowball.
"Well I don't know a lot of benders…besides my mom and all," I said picking up the dessert in front of me.
"Oh, your mother's a bender?" she said, intrigued. Perhaps I should not have said that. She might now ask me something I had no clue about. Be calm Zhoa, you can do this.
"What's her name?"
"Layza"
"Layza?" she repeated, looking a bit surprised. "Uh yeah…why?" The woman had a slight smirk on her lips.
"I just thought that was interesting. Normally Layza…would sound much like a Fire Nation name. The "Z" is quite common among those types…your name has it too."
I swallowed. Damn it! Why would those idiots give me a fire nation name when I was supposed to be from the water tribes!
"Is it possible your mother was born in the fire nation?" the woman pressed on. Oh man she was really pushing it now.
"NO! No way! My grandmother must have liked the name…" I said thinking up the best excuse I could. "Besides it's common sure, but it's not like other nations don't have z's in their names,"
"Honestly mother," Hakoda said jumping in on the conversation. "How could you ever think something like that?"
"Indeed," his wife said beginning to clear the empty plates in front of herself and Hakoda. "The very thought!" The topic was dismissed after that when Hakoda brought up something about his son, and some nonsense about wanting to "ice dodge" or whatever. But I knew the woman was still thinking about it, and I felt entirely uneasy with her being there. She was smart…too smart. She'd better watch herself, I thought to myself. Being too smart can get you killed…
--
The next day was frightfully boring. So many lowly chores I was forced to do. It reminded me of when I was a private. We had to hunt and fish and put up fallen tents. And all that while it was freezing out. How the hell did these people survive down here anyway?
When the evening arrived I was entirely grateful. When the sun set it meant work was over, for the men anyway. The women were still cooking and cleaning…but compared to the hard stuff we had to do, I'm sure it was nothing. After we ate (this time blubbered seal jerky…dear god it was terrible), I was just about ready to go to bed. I had a long and terrible day.
"Where are you going!" Hakoda said, rising from his seated position at the table. I flopped down hard on the mattress and curled up before answering.
"To bed," I growled before closing my eyes. I thought for a moment I would have a peaceful rest when I heard something. I opened my eyes a crack. Hakoda's beaming face was starring right into mine. I yelped, startled by the proximity and rolled back a little.
"You can't go to bed yet," he said, goofy smile on his face.
"Why the hell not?" I said, rolling onto my other side so my back was to him.
"Cause you've got a date tonight, silly!" My eyes widened as I turned over to face him. "WHAT?" I said astonished. "I have a date?" Hakoda laughed a bit.
"Well of course, don't you remember? We're all going down to the Ice Hole. We're going to double date!" he said happily. I sat up, and rubbed my head. "With who?"
"Oh just a friend of ours, Kayana. Sweet girl really, you'll love her. She's very eager to meet you from what I was told." He said nudging me in the ribs. I swatted his hand away irritably and looked around the tent for his wife to see if she would confirm is this was true. However she wasn't there.
"Where's your – " I began.
"Ah, my lovely date is with yours. She thought she'd help her get ready. The poor girl must be so nervous. Now come on! I have to get you ready!" I looked up at him, confused.
"Get me ready?" I asked.
"Well sure," he said turning to me. "You want to look good don't you?" He said grabbing my wrist and pulling me right off the mattress. I flopped to the ground with a 'thud' and it one of my ribs. I stifled a string of obscenities that I was thinking.
"Sorry about that," Hakoda said, pulling me to my feet with a quick yank. "But we don't want to be late, now do we?" He said letting go of my wrist and walking towards his parka and mattress.
"Eh…" I replied lamely, wishing I could go to bed. "I don't think I'm really up to this," I said leaning up against a pole in the middle of the pole.
"Oh course you are! You're probably just a bit nervous! I was nervous too, my first time with a lady." He sighed as though reminiscing. "Well anyway," he said snapping from his reverie. "I'm sure you'll do great. If you're lucky, you may get a kiss," he said, raising his eyebrows suggestively.
I rolled my eyes. Yes, like I wanted a filthy commoner to kiss me. "Well come on!" he said grabbing my wrist once again and pulling me towards his cot like thing. He rummaged through his belongs, clothes, weapons etc, looking for something.
I sighed, irritably, thinking how right now I could be sleeping. I was crouching there beside him for a good three or four minutes, as he continued searching. I was getting extremely agitated too, my god, he was disorganized! A few seconds before I decided I was going to hurt him, he pulled out what he had been looking for. "Ah ha!" He said standing up and pushing it towards me.
It was a parka. Fabulous. He smiled broadly at me and urged me to take it. "This thing has magic, man. The chicks dig it. It's how I charmed my woman. It'll help you I'm sure." He said once again nudging me in the ribs.
"Um…great," I said taking it. I held it up against myself. True, it looked like it was for more special occasions, the fur was nice and white, and there were waves embroidered on the bottom. And on one side of the parka was sewn a water tribe symbol and on the other looked like some kind of family symbol. It looked vaguely familiar for some reason.
"Well," he said, grinning brightly. "Try it on!" I held in an irritated sigh and slipped it on over my lighter clothes. Well…it wasn't as vile as the one I word daily, but there was nothing like Fire Nation military uniforms. Industrious and efficient. It was some of the best armor in the world, no doubt the best.
"You look great!" He said, looking delighted. "Kayana won't be able to keep her hands off you!" Hah, true. Not many women could.
After a few more minutes of preparation and other silly nonsense, we set out for "The Ice Hole". Oh how exciting. It didn't take long to get there. It didn't take long to get anyway in this god forsaken place.
Apparently we were the first to arrive. Well…truthfully, the "Ice Hole" wasn't exactly the most fitting name for this. I had expected it to just be a hole in the ice we all sat around. I was genuinely surprised when I saw what it was.
True there was a large hole in the ice, but there were three foot high walls built around it, made of snow. In the center of the water was a little floating piece of ice carved in the shape of penguin. Around the rim of wall there were six pairs of small stepsleading up to a platform that rested on the snow walls over looking the water in the middle. On each was a cozy little bench. It was actually pretty nice…well…I mean compared to everything else! Next to all the dirty tents this place was like the royal fire nation palace.
Hakoda and I walked up the steps and sat down on the bench waiting for the women. "Ah woman," Hakoda commented chuckling. "Have to make sure everything is perfect!" He said leaning back on the bench. I sighed, frustrated and leaned on my hand thatwas propped up on my leg.
We waited for what I think was twenty odd minutes when we saw the approaching figures of the two women. They were giggling and whispering…all those little things woman do. They rapidly approached us, climbing the steps as fast as they could.
"Hazo this is Kayana, one of my closest friends, Kayana…this is Hazo." Hakoda's wife said pulling another young woman towards me. The other girl looked roughly eighteen, her long brown locks were braided into two braids and were looped around her ears. The very back of her hair was tied into a bun. She had lighter skin than most I had seen, but she had very, very blue eyes. Not like the woman who was standing next to her though. No one had those.
Eh, she was pretty, but not nearly good enough for me. She shakily put out her hand for me to shake. Oh lord, not again! I was so tired of shaking hands with these people. Still, I grasped her hand and shook it firmly. I think I hurt her because when I let go, she was rubbing her hand.
"That's quite a grip, Hazo," she said softly with a shy smile.
"Oh did I hurt you?" I said, less than concerned, though I hope it didn't look that way.
"No, no," she said waving her hand. "It's fine," she blushed deeply and averted her eyes from me. After that nothing was said, a very tense a bitter silence ensued.
"Well," Hakoda said, rising from the bench and stretching his arms. "I guess this is our queue to leave," he said putting his arms around his wife's shoulders. "Well you two love birds have fun," he winked before leading his wife down the steps, to the opposite side of the hole.
She still said nothing and I got this feeling she felt nervous about talking to me. Finally I was so fed up with the quiet I decided to try, so at least the evening would go faster,
"You want to sit down?" I said casually. She looked up as she had just remembered I was there. She nodded once she realized what I said and sat down beside me. Still, no words left her mouth.
"So," I said looking around everywhere except for in her direction. "Why don't you tell me about yourself?"
She smiled shyly again, her face reddening. "Well, I'm not really all that interesting…" she said twiddling with her braids a little. It took me a long time to get her say more than a sentence or too. She seemed like a girl of few words. Normally this would be a good thing. God know women should shut up once in awhile, and accept their role in this society. But I was so damn bored, I needed to do something.
I find that all people have a spot for something. Even the most quiet people have something they could talk about for hours. And finally I found my dates. When I mentioned my mother was bender, she went wild, saying how her mother had been one too. And that her mother explained to her all about the water spirit and moon spirit and balance and a whole lot of other crap. And when she got going she talked so fast…I barely understand her.
"Andmymomalwayssaidthatthewaterandmoonwerelikepushandpullandwerebalancingalmostlikeyinandyangyouknow?" Her words were completely slurred together. Maybe that's why she didn't talk much, afraid people won't understand what she was saying. It grew very boring very fast. I almost wished I had the silence back.
I looked across the hole to see Hakoda and his wife snuggling on the bench. Disgusting…
All of a sudden her eyes drifted from her husband's to mine. What was that minx thinking? Did she notice that my eyes were not blue? I hadn't even thought of that. My eyes were gold, typical firebending trait. Damn, what could I stick in my eyes to make them blue?
My thoughts were suddenly interrupted when I felt something warm atop my hand. I looked down to see an ungloved hand gently caressing back of mine. I looked over to see she had stopped talking and was now leaning towards me.
"Hazo," she said smiling. "I…I really like you," she said looking away blushing.
"Uh…me too?" I said, though my statement sounded much more like a question.
"I mean," she said grabbing my other hand. "I really like you. You're one of the first people who I've talked to and listened to me."
Well…actually, I hadn't heard a damn word she said.
"Well…uh…I aim to please," I shrugged, half grinning, not really able to come up with a better reply.
"You certainly do," she said lifting one hand to the side of my face. Oh dear god, the deluded woman was about to kiss me. She began to lean in, and I badly wanted to step back, but I figured that well…it would be rude (and not like that bothered me, but I was trying to pass myself off here).
She was within an inch of me face when we heard of splash from the other side. She quickly tore away and we looked over to see what was going on.
Hakoda was crouched down on the platform reaching his hand towards the pond. In the freezing water, in the middle of the ice, was his wife, splashing and kicking for dear life.
Fear gripped my with an iron fist at the site of her. We instantly ran from the platform towards the other side of the circle, where Hakoda was desperately trying to pull his wife to safety. I went as fast as my legs could take me and racing up the platform's steps, leaving my date huffing and puffing behind me. I fell to my knees and extended my arm to her.
She brandished her hand around, panicking trying to grasp hold of my hand. I realized she was too far out now. I did the only thing I could do and jumped in, feet first, into the water.
God Almighty, it was cold as hell. I thought for moment my whole body had froze. I forgot about my severe discomfort when I noticed she was having a more difficult time staying float. I could see her breath come out in ragged breaths as though it were getting hard to breath.
I pushed off the wall and rocketed towards her. I was there in a moment, but by then it seemed like she was nearing unconscious-ness. I gripped her around the waste, her body was icy cold, and let her body lean on me.
"Hazo," she whispered, her lips blue and frost collecting on her face. I swam as fast as humanly possible and when I got to the edge, Hakoda was waiting, his eyes apprehensive. I lifted her near-frozen body up enough for him to pull her up into his arms, nearly crying and whispering "Are you ok?" in her ear.
Kayana, ran to the edge, also looking frightened. She extended one hand for me to grab. I grasped it and began to pull myself up over the edge. Exhausted I fell back onto the platform, my breathing erratic.
Kayana kneeled down next to me, wrapping her arms around me to warm me up I assume. My wet clothes completely soaked her own but she didn't seem to care. She was nearly weeping. I began to sit up, hoping she'd take her arms off me, but she refused to budge.
"I'm fine," I said, trying to get to my feet. She pulled back slightly. "Are you sure? You're so cold," she said grabbing onto my hands.
"Yes, I'm fine," I said pulling my hands away. I turned around to see the married couple holding each other close for warmth. "Are you all right?" I said, putting my hand on the woman's shoulder.
She sniffed a little, looking up at me. "T-T-Than-k-ks t-t-to y-you," she said her whole body shivering. She looked at me for a long time, before she broke away from her husband and wrapped her arms around my neck.
"T-T-Thank y-you s-s-so m-much," she said burying her face into my shoulder.
"You're welcome," I said awkwardly wrapping my arms around her waist.
"Yes, I am eternally grateful Hazo, you saved my love," he said patting me on the back with one hand, and stroking her hand with the other. "Now," he said, pulling her towards him. I sensed the slightest bit of protest from her, but it was only for a split second. "We should get to a fire before you get sick."
The four of us journeyed quickly back to their tent, not stopping for anything. Immediately, we sat in front of the fire, while Hakoda asked Kayana to bring me a blanket. She draped it gracefully around my shoulders and Hakoda did the same for his wife. Once we were all settled and Hakoda began making the tea that I spoke.
"So, what happened?" I said, pulling the fur blanket closer to my body. Hakoda chuckled slightly as he handed the cups of tea out to everyone.
"Weirdest thing," he said sitting down next to his wife. "We were just holding each other close, and I looked over to see that you two were getting intimate," he said winking. Kayana blushed severely, and hid her face with her tea cup. However, she suddenly sneezed and she had to pull the cup away her face." She gave a shy blush afterwards.
Hakoda gave her a half smile and then continued with his story. "And I said 'Well, will you look at that," she looked over, and all of sudden she slipped right out of my arms into the water. I was so scarred…you wouldn't believe." He said, putting a hand to his heart. Kayana too said she was terribly worried, but she was cut off by a stream of coughing.
I couldn't help but think this whole thing had been no accident. Only after had she looked our way did she fall. My, my, that was suspicious.
--
Three days later, after we thought the worse was over Hakoda and his wife entered, sobbing. They told me the bad news.
Kayana had become very ill and she had died. Apparently that night at the Ice Hole, when I had gotten her clothes very wet and she didn't have a chance to change out of them. She hadn't sat in the fire very long for them to cry at all (since she did have to go home and walk in the cold).
The people who were close to her were devastated and though I normally wouldn't give a crap with her, felt myself feeling a little sorry. It was partly my fault.
The next day, she was dressed in white and laid down on an ice platform. It was decorated with beautiful ice carvings and ceremonial furs. Her face was passive, she almost looked happy. I was later told by Hakoda and his wife that her dying words were "I am so glad I met Hazo."
I wasn't sure what to make of this, only that I couldn't believe it.
Her body was drifted off to the sea, with the tune of an old song sung by one of Kayana's sisters. The tune was melodic and slow, and underneath the notes I swore it sounded so familiar, though the words were foreign.
I heard that song again, though much later in my life. And that time it had more fitting words.
--
A giant hand slapped the back of my head. I had been in the accursed place nearly a week and all week long that idiot kept doing these "friendly slaps". If he didn't cut it out soon, I was going to slap him back and there would be nothing friendly about it.
Not to mention his nosy mother was watching me the entire week. She kept trying to approach me and ask questions and the North Pole, just waiting for me to slip up. I took special care to avoid the woman but she was a persistent one.
Worst of all, it was the middle of the night and it had taken me a long time (as it did the whole week) to make myself comfortable in these infernal parkas that's only surface between it and the floor was lumpy hard mattress. God! How did any one live like this!
"What is it?" I said irritably, turning my face to the side, to get it out of the pillow it had been buried in.
"Hazo! You've got to come see this!" I frowned. The last time he did this, it was to see some stupid star formation that had "deep and spiritual meaning". I wanted to punch his lights out so badly I stubbed my toe by kicking a rock (which was covered in snow) in frustration.
"What do I have to see?" I mumbled, wishing he'd go away. I rolled over onto my other side to look at his excited face.
"Trust me, it will be worth it!" it he said tugging at my arm. I moaned and slapped his hand away with my other hand that was not being tugged on. It took him a good ten minutes to actually get me up, and even then I had to get all my snow gear on before going out.
The whole time I was getting ready Hakoda was pacing around, acting all jumpy and way weirder than normal. The second I announced I was ready, he grabbed my wrist and ripped me right out the tent. I couldn't figure out what the hell was so damn important that he was acting like a madman over.
In a few minutes we were stopped in front of a large tent. It was pretty big compared to the tents I had seen around before. I couldn't imagine what was so special about it though.
"Come on," Hakoda said quietly, opening up the tent flap.
"…And thankfully he's sent us a huge legion of earthbenders from Omashu. He in fact offered to come, you know Bumi, but we told him he was needed in his city and …Hakoda! Hazo! Come in!"
I could barely believe my eyes. It was like…a war room! A few flickering candles that were set on a high table that lighted the huge tent. In addition to the candles, on the table was a huge map of our world, and little markers on it. The tent was filled with many water tribe citizens, paying close attention to the speaker. What shocked me the most was who in fact was the speaker. It was she…the woman I had fallen for the moment I saw her. Leading their war effort…
She came over to us, smiling. "Hazo," she said gripping my shoulders. "You're probably wondering what's going here, I bet." I nodded distantly. "Well," she sighed. "It's the fire nation. They've been in control too long. We need to do something about it. We have to. We've been in suffrage and it needs to change. So a few months ago we decided to start this…" she said gesturing around the tent.
"We've started this kind of…war meeting, Hakoda and I," she looked at him, smiling. "And we feel we can really trust you. We'd like it if you'd help us too." I looked at her, still a little confused. I mean, this was my mission right here. Everything I needed could be found in this tent. But…it was she. She, who was not only in it, but leading it. She would have to be killed. I wasn't sure how to feel, happy that my mission would indeed be a success…or worried about if she'd be killed.
"Look, before you say anything, think of what you could do. You're from the North! If you could go back there before we attack, and ask for their help…it would be amazing. Please Hazo, please…" she said pleading with me.
"I…well," I began. "You're in charge of this?" I needed to clarify this question that would make all the difference in my mission.
"Well," she said, turning towards her husband. "Originally, Hakoda was going to, but he said I was natural leader, and he wanted me to lead instead. So, yes I am." Fabulous…I felt myself sigh.
"Is that a problem?" she said concerned.
"No! Not at all…I was just thinking about something. I would be honored to help you out," I said, knowing full well that the mission was more important. Guilt weighed me down. WHY? I thought to myself. This was my job in the first place! I should be celebrating such an opportunity! But I was not completely convinced. I couldn't help but feel a very strange and uncomfortable sensation the whole time.
But all through the meeting I made notes of what I would tell the Generals of the Fire Nation when I got back. New weapons they were making, waterbending moves, their weak spots. Everything. I had enough information then to exploit their entire mission. And it had only been one meeting.
It had been a few hours before the meeting came to a close. People began filing out, chatting excitedly about their newfound hopes on victory. Fools. They were so far, and they didn't even know it.
Hakoda and Bato were two of the last to leave. Hakoda helped his wife pack up her materials and organize her war scrolls. He dismissed Bato, saying he didn't need to stay, but that he'd meet him later somewhere. While Bato slid under the tent flap Hakoda's wife stopped for a moment.
"You can go now Hakoda, I'm mostly done here."
"No," he said. "I couldn't possibly, you need my help,"
"Don't worry honey, I'm almost done," she said smiling.
"But – " he began, raising a finger.
"Not another word! You go right now!" she demanded, putting her hands on her hips.
"Okay darling," said to his wife. "I told Bato I'd meet him there. Are you sure you've got everything you need? Are you sure you don't need me?" he said concerned.
"I'll be fine darling, Hazo will help me. You boys go have fun. After all, you work so hard all the time, you deserve it," she said following her words with a kiss on her husband's cheek. He smiled at her and slipped under the tent flap.
"Where's he going?" I said curiously.
"Oh he and his friends are going to go stargazing," she said, putting a few scrolls away. That's what he considered fun? That was supposed to be relaxing after working hard? Stargazing?
"For the whole night?" I said, still wondering how anyone could possibly do that for a few minutes, let alone a few hours.
"Yes, they like watching the sun rise…you didn't want to go with them did you?" she said looking back at me.
"No, no. I'm fine." I said. "Do you want some help?" I added, seeing her struggle with the big crate of scrolls.
"Oh yes thank you!" She handed me the crate of scrolls. "I'm taking them back to our tent," she said grabbing another, lighter box of scrolls. "Just follow me."
Upon reaching the tent, I was relieved because the crate was getting annoyingly heavy. She told me to set them down over by the table and I did so before she could even finish her statement. She laughed cutely, apologizing for the crate's weight. Her laugh made up for the enormous pain in my arms though.
She set her box down next to mine and then turned to me. She walked silently over to her mattress when she began removing her parka to sleep in. However, she did not put in on the mattress. She just threw it aside.
"Hazo," she said sitting down on her mattress. "I have a terrible confession to make." She looked nervous, twisting the bottom of her dress between her sweaty hands. She looked utterly adorable that way. But her concern worried me. I joined her on the mattress and rested my hand on her shoulder.
"What's wrong?" I said, starring at her. She looked over to meet her eyes. There was a deep secret locked into those eyes. It was just about to be revealed.
"I think…this is terribly awful of me. The Spirits will curse me in the afterlife…but I think that I…" she inhaled deeply and closed her eyes. She opened them again and starred right at me. "I am in love with you."
I think my heart my have either stopped completely or sped up extremely fast upon the impact of her words. For a moment my brain could not process the words. "I'm in love with you." I had never had since a rush since I joined the army. Since I was in my first real battle. All of a sudden I didn't care where she came from. All I knew was, her heart belonged to me.
When I finally came to grips with reality, she was sobbing into her dress, mumbling incomprehensibly. I heard fragments of her jumbled speech. She mentioned "..terrible person…" and "…hate me…." and "…Hakoda".
I placed a hand under her chin and forced her head up, to look at me. She her gaze was on the floor though, too upset to look at me. "I'm so sorry," she whispered, a few more tears spilling.
"Don't be," I said wiping the wetness from her cheeks. Before she could realize, I swooped in a placed my lips atop hers. She was startled for a moment, no doubt, but once she understood what this meant, she kissed back with an intensity I would only expect from a firebender.
Her long delicate arms wrapped around my neck to draw me closer, and my arms went directly to her waste to the same. One hand moved to my chest and she lightly tugged at the collar as to suggest something. I did as she requested and took my hand off her waist to remove the top of my outfit. Even then, I was very well built and she took notice.
She pulled away and looked into my eyes. We both knew then, exactly what was happening here. Without speaking any words we both consented what would take place.
With all my weight I forced her down onto the mattress, kissing her ferociously. I began to tug at the leg of my pants to make things move a little faster. I felt a smile come to her lips when she decided she'd begin removing some of her own garments. The only thing that stayed was a beautifully carved necklace around her throat. Upon inspecting it, I realized the symbol on the necklace was the same as the symbol on Hakoda's dress parka.
"Hazo…" she said breathlessly, finally coming up for air. I longed for her to say my real name right about now.
"Yes," I said starring into her eyes.
"I'm ready…"
--
After that night we didn't mention it again. But even though we didn't speak about it, I know she was thinking about it. We stole every moment we had alone together. When Hakoda turned his back for even a moment, she showed affection for me one way or another. We actually began waking up early to watch the sun-rise together.
I stayed there a good four or five months, gathering up all the information I could about the rebels. It also didn't hurt that a lovely woman was in love with me either.
One day, close to my twentieth week there…well let's just say it was one of the biggest shocks of my life.
"Hazo," a beautifully light voice said behind me, as I was waiting for the sun to rise. Ah, it was my angel. I turned around to greet her. "Hello, most fair one," I said, grinning. However, my smile met a very concerned face. She looked extremely uneasy and very worried.
"What's wrong? Are you all right?" I said, putting my hands on her small rounded shoulders. She bit her lip and inhaled deeply as though she was trying to contain tears.
"Hazo," she repeated. "Do I look different to you?" Ah, she must have felt she was growing unattractive. Women were always like that. Especially if they do something to their hair and their man does not notice it. All though how she could think that was beyond me, I told her she was beautiful all the time.
"Yes," I said, playing around with her. She looked up to meet my eyes, with fear clouding the beautiful dark blue that usually shown through. "You look more beautiful," I finished, hoping to cheer her up. Instead however, she pulled my hands off her shoulders and stepped back. I looked at her with concern.
"No…" she said. "That's not what I mean," she said putting a hand to her temple. "I mean…let me show you," She grabbed one of my hands and placed it on the flat of her stomach. Except oddly enough, I felt a large round curve, something that couldn't be seen under her parka. Oh my god…
"You're…you're…" I couldn't even finish the statement. "Yes," she said, tears welling up in her eyes. "I'm…pregnant!" The very thought of it hit me like a ton of boulders. The thought of having a child scared me to death.
Tears spilled out of her eyes, her breath became ragged and she wrapped her arms around me. "What am I going to do?" she sobbed into my chest. "What will Hakoda think?" She whispered as an afterthought. I awkwardly put my arms around her and stroked the back of her hair.
"Then don't tell him," I said, looking around to see if there was anyone around to see us. She pulled away and starred at me with moist eyes, her cheeks sparkling with fresh tears. "What?" she said in shock.
"Don't tell him," I said again. She looked at me like I had said something utterly bizarre.
"I…I have to tell him!" she wrenched herself from my grasp. "What will happen when the baby's here! He'll notice something is wrong!" She said turning her back to me, letting a few more racked sobs out.
I approached her and rested my hands on her shoulders. "No I mean, tell him it's his child." She turned around again and met my eyes with her shocking blue ones. "I mean," I continued. "Before I came…when was the last time you…" I drifted off, incredibly uncomfortable even thinking about that.
She looked away, her eyes distant. "Only a week or two," she said finally, her eyes starring off towards the steadily rising sun. "But, it's not his. I can tell." She snapped back to me in an instant. "And that would be lying!"
"Yes…" I said, wondering what he point was.
"I can't lie to my own husband! I love him! He trusts me!" she said frantically, panicking. She began pacing, clearly unable to sort all the thoughts running through her head.
"Listen, if you tell him we'll both be in a lot of trouble, and your marriage might end…" Well, on second thought, maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. I would have said it too, and then I remembered…I was supposed to "nice".
"I know," she whispered, afraid. "This guilt will live with me every time I look at this child. But I'll be thankful every time as well. It will be so confusing bringing joy and guilt simultaneously." She looked down at the snow and sniffed. "But I will love it no matter what, and despite the grief and I am glad for it." She then placed a hand on her stomach. "If this is a boy, we'll name him after to you. So we'll always have a piece of you with us. Though only I will know it."
"And if it's a girl?"
"If it's a girl…I…I don't know," she said. "I haven't really thought about it. Perhaps Kana, all though I'd like it to have more syllables." She said, thinking.
"How about…"I racked my brains to think of a suitable name. "How about Siyara?" I said recalling, what I think was one of my cousin's names.
"Hmm," she said, thinking over the option. "Almost…it just…I know!" she said jumping up a little, looking excited.
"What?"
"My daughter's name…will be Katara."
--
"Look," I said, gripping her shoulders. "I need to be leaving for the North Pole…to help with the war effort." I was standing on the ice next to the tiny canoe I'd be spending several months in.
It had been about two months since I had found out she was pregnant. I didn't want to leave before she had it, but a Fire Nation spy arrived the week before disguised as my younger brother Judo. He said I'd better move my ass because soon this would be one of the top missions. I told him I'd be ready.
She hugged me tightly, and I could feel her rounded stomach as she did so. Ah Haokda had been so excited about the news. He came running over to me, beaming like a foolish little boy, telling me that she was pregnant and that he hoped it would be a girl so he could have one of each. He didn't suspect anything, the poor fool.
"Oh Hazo, we're going to miss you so much," she said holding me tighter. Hakoda walked over and slapped my back…for the billionth DAMN TIME!
"We'll miss you buddy," he said, half smiling. Bato too came over and bid me farewell. Hakoda's mother however was not there. Not that I minded, but it seemed odd.
"Where's Kana?" Bato said, as I began stepping into the canoe.
"Oh, you know my mother," he said shrugging. "She's always got to be doing worth…it's like she's allergic to fun."
"Well guys," I said picking up my oar. "Thank you so much for everything. I promise I'll return," which…was in no way a lie. I would be back…
They stood at the edge of the ice, waving until they disappeared from sight.
It took me several months to return to the Fire Nation in the small canoe I had originally been given. This time it was a little easier because the Water Tribes gave me so much food I thought my boat would surely sink.
I was welcomed back by Ozai and the rest of the fire nation. He had already had his second child. A girl this time. He told me how already she was firebending, something her brother hadn't even attempted until about two weeks ago. Dumb kid…
I immediately reported all my information to the military leaders. When I had explained all their tactics, weaponry and weaknesses, they congratulated me, saying I was the pride of the fire nation.
I admit it all felt very good, something I had been waiting a long time for. Something…wasn't right though.
We didn't storm the Southern Water Tribe right away, since there was still some business to take care of at home. Within a year though, the mission had been moved to top priority and we set sail. I was there with some of the greatest Fire Nation leaders, including the infamous General Lwan.
The honor…the rush. It should have been wonderful.
--
The Southern Water Tribe civilians had seen our ships on the horizon and began frantically assembling together their army. In a few moments the entire tribe were standing, ready on the edge of the ice, waiting.
As we pulled, I began to notice familiar faces. And suddenly, I locked eyes with the most familiar one.
"Hazo…" she said, reaching out her hand a moment, looking utterly betrayed and confused. The look on her face, is a face I'll never forget. Even today I lay at night, her face, her expression burned into my mind. It has never let me rest. An endless nightmare.
"This is the great Captain Zhoa, you worthless peasant," said the General from the other side of me. "And you will pay him your respects, wench." Her expression stayed though, until she could bear looking at me no longer, and she collapsed into the snow, sobbing. Hakoda stooped down next to her, and stroked her long brown hairs reassuringly. His eyes though were on me, with a newfound hatred.
I then saw two children sitting in the snow for the first time. One was the boy…what had been his name? He looked about two years old, as he crouched besides his mother whispering into her ear. The other child. A little girl, sitting innocently in the snow looking to her mother. I could sense she was about to cry at seeing her parent in such emotional distress. That girl, was her daughter…my daughter. What has she said she'd name her child if it was a girl?
"Silence, you insolent woman!" shouted the General stepping off the ship, as I followed. While stepping off the boat, the people of the water tribe starred silently at me. My fire nation uniform looked entirely foreign to them. I was different than the loveable Hazo they knew.
"Now," said General Lwan. "Which one of these miserable commoners is the leader of the rebel military?" He looked at them, glaring at them with his searing golden eyes. He took an abrupt turn and starred at me. "Zhoa? Who is it?"
I felt every eye come to me. Including hers, starring up at me, pleading. And the eyes of her children…the eyes of my own kin, starring at me with her blue eyes. She looked entirely like her mother. Amazing, none of my firebending traits had shown through. She looked native, one of them. The girl, my daughter was pleading with me for her mother's life.
It all comes down to a single choice. My country or my love? Which was more important? My nation had been sheltering me for years, I was loyal to fire. I was to become a ruthless General one day. But…that woman she completed me in a way the fire nation never could. But she was the enemy, and I needed to accept that. The choice was made.
"Her," I said pointing my finger at her, accusatory. Suddenly my heart hardened. It had to, if I was going to go through with this. I could not let any feelings I had for her interfere. I convinced myself right there she was nothing to me, and all though it wasn't true, I allowed myself to believe it. To believe she was a worthless, disgusting peasant who I didn't have any use for. I wonder how I could have been so foolish to believe something…and yet I did.
That simple word destroyed her last nerve as she let out a choked sob, and began crying full force. Nothing could stop the tears from flowing now. And I stood there and watched her cry, uncaring.
Her long fingers stretched out to touch my boot. I jumped back startled, by her brash and disrespectful behavior. She looked up into my face, entirely alien to her now.
"Hazo," she whispered. "Don't do this, please." She looked away again a few more tears escaping her. I shook her hand off my boot, disgusted. "Don't touch me again, wench," I said, in a cruel tone. She sniffed and clutched her hand to her heart. "Hazo…" she whimpered again.
"Hazo is dead. I am Zhoa."
Meanwhile the General was watching the whole scene from a far. When the sobbing had decreased significantly he folded his arms across his chest and starred. "You mean this is it? This pitiful creature?" He said motioning to her with his hand.
I inhaled deeply. "Yes," I said simply. He observed her for a few moments longer, and when he looked as though he had reached a decision, he straightened up.
"Kill her," he ordered, pointing his whip and her cowering form in the snow. I looked bemused as he turned to me.
"Me sir?"
"Yes of course you, it's your mission after all," he said as if it were some sort of obvious thing. I had expected her to be killed, but...not by me! I had killed before, I was in the army. The fire nation army no doubt. I could probably kill anyone else besides her. But…she was different.
Two soldiers stepped out from the crowd of firebenders and snatched her up off the ground and brought her towards me.
There she was, being restrained by two burly men in fire nation garb, not putting up the slightest struggle. She just hung there in between the two of them, completely broken. She didn't look up, too afraid of what she'd see. Her beloved, a traitor, and going to now kill her. In front of her own children. She would have never believed him to be so heartless.
But right then, I was heartless. And I still feel that way today. You can't let love get in the way, no matter how great it feels. In the end, you need to finish what you started. And that's what I needed to do.
My destiny was here and now. In an instant, lives would be changed forever. I inhaled deeply and stretched my hand out towards her. She looked up finally, to face her own destiny. Suddenly memories came flooding back to me. Her whispers of "I love you," that night we consecrated love, her laugh, her smile, her eyes. The emotions exploded in me and were released as fire that surged through the fiber of my being and out my fingertips.
I heard gasps, I heard cries and I heard her shout. I watched her die by my own hand, flames consuming her body, as she let out a high and painful shout. Her final tears falling to the ground. Her final thoughts lost. And she was gone.
A limp body in the arms of the firebenders, they threw her to the ground with apathy. I looked to the crowd. They looked horrified, young children looking away, young women crying. The rest just looked. I could see Hakoda restraining his children, both screaming for their mother, their wails could be heard over everything else. This would be their earliest memory.
After the children were too worn out from crying, the noise ceased entirely. Everything was still for a moment. The calm before the storm. And suddenly, a shout was emitted from someone in the Water Tribe and a spear was thrown at the General, hitting him square in the chest. He collapsed in the snow a moment later, clutching the weapon in his white-knuckled grip, gasping for breath. His scarlet blood stained the virgin white snow.
And in an instant, war broke out and soon the two nations, fire and water, red and blue, day and night, clashed with an enormous force the two became a blur. Fire was everywhere, weapons flying, children screaming. The women tried to pull their young ones away from the battlefield as their husbands fought off their foes.
Through the chaos, I bent down over her cold lifeless body, looking at her expressionless face. Her pretty smile gone. Her eyes would never be seen again. Those beautiful eyes, never open. Her laugh never heard. She still looked beautiful, but her beauty was changed so drastically without her life. Now she was just a pretty face, whose expression shown pure torment. Pure torment for which I was responsible.
I held her hand, as I heard shouts from the firebenders attacking homes (in fact I was informed later, my army has completely destroyed the "Ice Hole"). Shouts and screams filled the air, the scent of burnt flesh, the clatter of weapons. But I didn't join in, I just sat in the snow with her. No one noticed anyway. Which was lucky. If the men saw me, who knows what they'd say. Everything would go to waste. Her life, my mission. This was something I could only do for a few moments longer and then I'd have to leave it in my memory.
Through the shouts and cries and even my own thoughts I did not even notice the small figure that was approaching. I only looked up when I heard soft muffled sniffles. There was the little girl with her mother's eyes. She spoke not a word, but she sat in the snow with me and grabbed her mother's cold hand in one of hers and mine in the other.
I suddenly noticed something I had not noticed before. The beautifully carved necklace that had once graced her mother's neck was now tied around her own. An heirloom no doubt. With it on, I could tell this girl would look just like her.
In a few moments, I'd need to leave, the girl and her mother forever. But for the time I just sat there with them, silently grieving.
From that day I on I decided feeling, loving, anything was useless. It only hurt you in the end. With this note I soon rose to Admiral. I became the ruthless, harsh leader I had always wanted, and it felt great. I felt a rush every time I captured someone or killed a traitor. Killing the banished Prince of the Fire Nation had been the sweetest though. The little brat, always getting in my way.
And my final night on earth, after I realized the stupid boy wasn't really dead, I was taken by the Ocean Spirit, dragged under the water. I heard her voice, singing to me as the air grew thin in my lungs. It was melody heard at Kayana's funeral. Now, I was hearing it at my own…
You're chance is gone
You've run out of time
To kill the one you love
Is the worst crime
But killing a spirit
You have no soul
Where is the Zhoa
I used to know…
Where is the Zhoa, I used to know?
Author's Note: Okay this took a bit longer than I expected (and is way longer too!), and mind you it would NEVER happen in the series, (because you know firebender having a waterbender child…is a little weird and I think Katara's mom was older when she died…eh oh well) but I just thought it would be a fun thing to do. I know Zhoa's not exactly "royalty" but you know, he's really high up, so I figured it wasn't too big of a deal. I hope he was in character enough. I figured there must be a reason he's so mean now. And if you're wondering why Katara and Sokka don't remember he killed their mother…well they were young. Oh well I tried! (Hope there's not too many grammar errors!)
Now for my thank-yous (these will be my last obviously because fanfiction has the personal message thing now…after some of you reviewed though) :
Eternal Silence: Thank you for your comment. I agree I think I made the two a little too similar, but I wanted them to mirror each other a lot. But maybe I did a little too much mirroring. Also I like your imput on the A/K vs. K/Z. They both do seem unrealistic, although it does appear that the writers are leaning for A/K. Eh, oh well! And in response to your question why did Sokka kiss back? Well all I can say is when most guys get kissed by a pretty girl they're going to kiss back, no matter how evil she is Thanks for reviewing!
Chou hime: You are one of the many reviewers who liked Zula/Sokka. I just may do another real soon. Thanks for reviewing!
Someone besides you: Hah great name there! Thanks for your enthusiasm. It makes me feel all special. Glad you liked!
Also thanks so much to Zukoscute2, kayko15, TMW and SleepingDragon13! Your comments mean a lot!
By the way: I actually wrote a simple melody to the song above. If anyone wants to hear it you can e-mail me or something.