Disclaimer: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.

I sit here waiting for my world to end. It's taking forever, can't the blood flow out any faster? Everyone's always making fun of me because I'm an idiot. They can't tell that that's just a mask. That's right the 'Great' Kuwabara's trying to end his miserable life. You ask how it is that he's doing such an act? A razor blade, cuts on my wrists, thighs and stomach. I hate how everyone sees me. I'm just the idiot that makes every last person laugh at his mistakes. I'm tired of it, just once I'd like Hiei to see the intelligence behind my mask, Kurama to see the love that I hold for him and Yusuke to just see beyond what I show everyone. Shizuru has been telling me lately that I should show the team who is behind the mask. Sure I'm a kind hearted man but I'm also intelligent, a homosexual and undeniably depressed. The doctor has prescribed me an antidepressant but I don't want to have to rely on a drug to get out of this state, I should be strong enough to get out of it by myself. Then again I'm only human how am I to compete with anyone else in this world. You're probably thinking 'oh look the poor fool', well don't I really don't want anyone's pity. Great someone's coming into the apartment that I live in, guess I've got to clean up so I can be a gracious host. Is there any way I could die in peace? I move to stand up and got hit with a dizzy spell. I grabbed on to the sink counter in the bathroom to steady myself, I quickly washed the razor off and hid it. I started the shower just as the bathroom door opened. Kurama's standing there looking shocked.

"Kuzuma?" Kurama whispered. I looked away ashamed that of all people it had to be Kurama that found me. "Why? Why did you do this?" Kurama was now yelling at me but I couldn't bring myself to meet his gorgeous emerald eyes.

"Because there's no other option out there for me. I can't keep living a lie anymore Kurama. Now if you'll excuse me I'd like to shower." Kurama shook his head tears falling down his cheeks.

"There is other options! There really is, please Kuzuma, don't kill yourself," Kurama pleaded with me. I was starting to feel extremely weak and sleepy. I looked down at the water filling the tub and passed out.

The next thing I'm aware of is a beeping sound and white. I looked around the hospital room and noticed that there's only room for one bed. The only person that was in the apartment with me was Kurama, so he must have called the ambulance. I'm hooked up to an I.V. and a heart monitor. The only thing that's bothering me was that I have no clue how long I've been knocked out. The door opens and a nurse walked in with a chart and a new I.V. bag.

"Ah, Mister Kuwabara, I see you're awake. Well I'll go get the doctor shall I?" with that said the nurse left and Kurama, Shizuru and Yusuke walked in the room. Sis ran over to me and slapped me upside the head. Yusuke held Kurama as he cried looking relieved. Does this mean that these three feel for me? I understand Shizuru, but Yusuke and Kurama. I thought they were just around me because they had to be. Yusuke's hair wasn't gelled, his clothes were rumpled and he looked as if he hadn't slept for months. Kurama had his hair up in a ponytail, clothes bloody and rumpled, eyes red and puffy, tear streaks on his cheeks and he looked dead tired. Sis had left the room after she hit me, she was crying.

"How long was I out for?" I asked tired of waiting for one them to start talking.

"Two weeks, man. The docs said you lost a lot of blood and you smashed your head," Yusuke answered. "Hiei went to get Yukina from her Island and Botan should be in later today. I have to get going, Grandma has me training today. I'll see ya tomorrow." Yusuke left and the doctor walked in.

"Mister Minamino, could you wait out in the hall?" Kurama nodded and left the room. The doctor turned to and started talking to me but I tuned him out. The emotions in Kurama's eyes held me in a trance like state. Hurt, relief, confusion and an emotion that I thought I would never see, love. It wasn't long before the doctor left and Kurama was allowed back into the room. He sat in the chair beside the bed.

"Kurama, how long have you been here?"

"The whole two weeks. I couldn't leave your side. I'm sorry I wasn't able to catch you before you hit your head on the side of the tub. Yusuke came about ten minutes after you fell. I stopped the blood flow by that time. He's the one that called the ambulance." By the time he finished sobs racked his body. I reached out to him and pulled him into a hug.

"Hush Kurama, don't worry I'll start taking my anti-depressant and I won't try to commit suicide again for my friends."

"I don't want to be your friend anymore Kuzuma," Kurama whispered into my chest and I felt my heart fall. "I want to be more than that. I want to be your boyfriend. Gods I love you!"

"I love you too Kurama." Kurama leaned up and gently claimed my lips.

It's been three months since my hospital stay and Kurama has been by my side most of the way. He's been feeling really sick lately and neither of us know why. The doctors have done a bunch of tests and he get the results today. He doesn't want me to go with him so I'm stuck here pacing my apartment. His appoinment was tenthis morning, it's now four o'clock. Where is he? Is he alright?

"Hello"

"Kuzuma, it's Kurama. Um, I have some bad news. Could you come over?"

"Yeah I'll see you soon."

"Bye." Normally it takes half an hour walking to get to Kurama's but I made it there in ten minutes. When I knocked on the door Kurama answered. He was crying but trying to hold his tears back.

"Hey, what's wrong?" I asked while pulling him into a tight hug.

"I have lung and brain cancer. The doctors say that both are inoperable and I have months to live." He broke down in sobs. I knew I had to be strong for chemotherapy and radiation, right? That would help, don't worry Kurama you'll get through this."

"You're not going to leave me are you?"

"Never, I love you too much to just abandon you in your time of need."

Kurama was only with me for another month before the cancer got the best of him. Koenma let us go and he and Botan stopped talking to us. Hiei went back to the demon world, Yusuke married Keiko. Everyone moved on but I couldn't it hurt too much. So that's how I find myself sitting in my bathroom writing down all this so that neither I nor Kurama would be forgotten. I have the razor again and I've cut myself deeper, I've also taken any pain killers that I had in my apartment. I have no regrets about how my last months were lived. I only wish to be with Kurama. There's darkness now clouding my sight. I won't be here for much longer. Sorry to any one who's going to miss me. I can't stand living in this world without Kurama. Goodbye.

Kuwabara passed away four months after his love Kurama. Both are missed terribly. Kuwabara did get his last wish. He and Kurama are together after they had been reincarnated.

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