Youko was utterly bored. She glared vaguely at the crush of people drinking their American-style cocktails and carefully appreciating the status of those around them, and not the artwork in this department store gallery that was barely visible among the crowds. Youko was tired of this world; she was just tired, period. It had been a long day, and all she wanted was to sit down, just for a little while and then maybe she could make it home on the bus without ending up in Asakusa. She wasn't touching her drink. She needed coffee, not alcohol, if she was going to stay awake long enough to get home.
A movement of the crowd let her catch sight of the door. She sidled that way, dodging in and out of knots of people. Finally she stepped into the hallway, still cool from the air conditioning, not reheated by too many bodies. She set her drink on a ledge and headed down the hall to where she remembered a few vending machines. Good, she had remembered correctly, she stood for a moment, deciding between espresso and coke, decided not to give into her déclassé impulses and fed the machine 120 yen and bought the espresso. She sipped it gratefully as she walked back towards the gallery entrance, and only looked up when she reached the ledge where she had left her drink. She leaned next to it. It wasn't exactly sitting, but it would do for a bit.
She only closed her eyes for a moment, but when she opened them there was a figure standing outside the gallery door, watching her.
"Hot in there, isn't it, Youko-chan," said a voice that was impossibly familiar. Youko bolted up, barely avoiding sloshing espresso out of the can and onto her outfit and turned toward the voice.
"Sei?" Her eyes verified what her ears told her was true, "Sei! What are you doing here?"
Sei grinned, her perpetually messy hair flopping randomly as she tipped her head. "I was just about to ask the same thing. And if you don't know why I'm here then I am really boggled at your appearance."
"Boggled? And what?" Youko sighed. "I'm here for the exhibit. A client invited me. What's your excuse?"
"Did you get a card or anything?"
"No. It was on the phone."
"Did he mention whose exhibition it was?"
"Do you really think the exhibit was the most important thing on his mind? He was too busy telling me the names of all the big-shots who he would introduce me to." Youko had slowed down in the last few phrases and was looking at Sei in mounting shock. "This is your show? I mean, Sachiko told me you were studying art, but that was four, five years ago… You have a show!?"
Sei grinned the grin of the embarrassed and proud. "And I thought I was going to be an artist because I'd never make any money and it would be the most detrimental to society without actually stealing anything."
"I can't believe it, I've been in there for hours and I didn't even see anything!"
"I don't doubt it. It was packed, but it's starting to clear out now. Want to go in and have a special tour with the artist?"
"Definitely." Youko took her friend's arm, chugged the last of the espresso, set the can down, and together, they returned to the party.
It wasn't until they got to the painting on the far wall that Youko looked at the painting, paused, looked at the painting again, and then narrowed her eyes and looked at Sei, but before she could say anything the client who had invited her came up and interrupted.
"Mizuno-san, it looks like you met the artist."
"Yes," said Youko, "Thank you so much for inviting me."
"It was my pleasure." He turned to the painting on the wall, "This is my favorite painting."
Youko tried to keep her choke from being too obvious. Sei didn't try to stop her cat-like grin.
"The colors are gorgeous, calm and almost oppressive on the outside, but inside it's bright and angry, and that huge white presence in the center… it's a fine painting."
"Thank you, sir," said Sei, "It's one of my favorites as well."
Youko looked as if she was going to explode.
"I'm going to have one more look around and then head home. You don't need a ride, Mizuno-san?"
"No, thank you. I'm sure Satou-san will make sure I get home safely."
"Good night then."
"Good night, and thank you for inviting me."
"My pleasure."
He left. Youko smiled until he had stepped outside the room, and then she whirled on Sei.
"That's you!" she hissed, indicating the painting with a sharp motion of her hand, "That's you fucking Maria-sama."
Sei laughed and laughed, she slapped her knee and then grabbed it to support her as she gasped for air. "Finally!" she said, "finally someone can see what's in the painting. Everyone goes on about the white presence, ooo."
Youko looked at the painting, not angry or shocked anymore. "Did you really feel that trapped?" she asked, not sure what she wanted the answer to be.
"Sometimes," Sei said, responding to her mood, "But I guess I liked it, I mean I stayed for college. You didn't do that."
"No, I suppose, I suppose sometimes I felt like that, like there were certain rules of conduct that, well, that only you could break. Then I got out, I escaped, and I remembered that the whole world is like that, everything has rules, everything is based on expectations and appearances. I like that, I like always knowing what I'm supposed to do. But I'm not going to let these rules and expectations keep me from what I want to do. There's always room for a Sei, I told myself. There's always room for that one who's different, but loved anyways."
Sei watched her intently, "You always had room for me, not everyone did."
"You were my favorite thing at school. Meddling with your life was the most enjoyable activity I had."
"You have accepted your status as an irrepressible meddler?"
"I get paid for meddling in people's lives. But I miss yours. You were always difficult to deal with and I never got to meddle quite as much as I'd like."
"That's because I like people to be straight with me, and you were always devious. You can't not be devious, it's just the way you are."
"Maybe I've learned to be more honest, or at least when to be obvious and when to play with the truth. When you're dealing with personal relationships it's better to be straight."
"Personal relationships? You, miss perfect, Miss Mary, have experience with that?"
"Are you so surprised? I've had a few lovers. Are you horrified? Did you want to be my first?"
"What!" Sei turned from shocked to angry, "Just because you know I'm different doesn't mean you get to hold it over me."
Youko watched her carefully, "Let's go."
"What? Where?"
"I don't care, a coffee shop, just not here. Somewhere anonymous."
"Love hotel?"
Youko grinned, "If that's what you want." She caught Sei's arm and led her out. "That's the sort of response I was looking for. I know you go off at people, but not me, unless I was meddling again."
"Hey, I'm not used to being teased by girls I had futile crushes on in high-school and haven't seen since."
"Crushes? Oh Sei, you do know how to make me feel good."
They took the elevator down and walked out into the humid night. It was late enough so the buses had stopped running and the streets were dark and mostly empty.
"Are you seeing anyone now?" Youko asked Sei.
"And you're asking because…"
"Because I want to see if there's any opportunity to meddle, of course."
"Of course," Sei chuckled, "I should have known. But no, there hasn't been anyone in a while. I've been focusing on my painting." Sei watched the ground for a few steps, but then glanced up, in control, "well, what about you? Boyfriend, fiancé?" Sei grinned, "You said 'lovers,' now that's a word that begs a question."
Youko flashed a bare hand, "I'm unattached, much to the chagrin of my parents who, after hearing of my exploits in college, tried everything they could to tie me to an appropriate mate."
"You were quite the player, ne? It's funny. I'd never thought you'd be, I mean, you're attractive as all get out, but, you don't open up too easily, I mean, I don't even know if I know who you really are, and I could always read you pretty well."
"You give yourself too much credit."
"What?"
Youko yanked Sei into an alley, "What makes you think that my lovers weren't all women? What makes you think you know me when you never noticed that I would have done anything for you!"
"But, but they weren't-" Sei stuttered, unused to this unrestrained Youko.
"They were. I had three lovers in college, two girlfriends and one dirty secret. I had had enough of perfect control, of being the perfect girl, doing what everyone expected of her. I did better than everyone expected in classes. I rejected an offer from my father's firm and took a higher position with a rival law-firm. I rejected all the prospective husbands my parents set me up with. No one controls me but me. I'll play up to people's expectations when it's worth my while, but when it's my happiness it's my decision."
Sei gaped at her, then she glared. "You mean I wasn't the only freak, you mean I wasn't alone and you never told me?"
"You weren't ever alone. I was always there even if you were too blind to see it."
"Why didn't you-"
"Because you were the only freak! You were the only one who didn't realize either that it wasn't worth admitting or that everyone was the same. You were the only one who couldn't hide. We all feel alone; we all are alone. We keep our pain to ourselves and we do our best to protect the people we care about even if there's nothing we can do."
"You could have told me," Sei pouted. Youko cupped her cheek and looked her in the eye.
"I couldn't have. You were the only person I really couldn't have told, because you were the only one I really wanted."
It was a frozen moment, Youko waiting for it to register and Sei waiting to believe this impossible thing. Then she closed the distance and kissed Youko. Youko's hand slid through her hair to the back of her head and kept her close.
When they finally broke for air, Sei gasped for a few moments before she said, "Okay, I'll believe you've had a lover now. You're really good at that."
Youko said nothing. She said nothing for a long time.
"Are you okay?" Sei asked. Youko was sniffling slightly and then she struck out with wild swinging fists. Occasionally a fist would swing back and wipe away tears.
"Why? Why? I thought I was over you. I was almost acting normally around you. I thought I was going to be okay this time."
"Youko, Youko-" Sei caught her fists. "Hey, come on."
Youko looked at her with burning hatred in her eyes. "I don't want you to be my Shiori."
Sei almost snarled, "don't say that-"
Youko's arms snaked around her neck and tugged her down. They were kissing again, tongues and fingers and bodies moving. When they broke that time they didn't let go. Sei breathed heavily in her face. "My, my apartment's near here, I think we need to talk."
"Yes, talk," Youko said in a voice as cool as ever, but she didn't look the same, her hair was mussed and her face was hot and red and her eyes were sharper and clearer than Sei had ever seen them.