Author's Notes: Yesterday I couldn't sleep, so I grabbed a pencil and a piece of paper—well, here's the result. This fic isn't supposed to make much sense; it's only supposed to make you go 'awww'… hopefully. :) It takes place towards the end of disc one, when the heroes are still on their way to defeat Crosell.

The usual disclaimer applies.

Enjoy. :)


Sleeplessness

by Lucrecia LeVrai


Nel woke up with a groan, filled with a terrible sense of urgency. Something was wrong, but she couldn't tell what it was, at least not straight away. Still waiting for her mind to start functioning, she lifted her head from her knees and raised a hand to chafe the aching muscles in her neck. It was the middle of the night, and yet she shouldn't have been sleeping, that much was certain—why would she doze off in a sitting position, anyway? She frowned. And then finally remembered.

She was supposed to keep watch… and she had fallen asleep, just like that! The thought instantly made her sober. Rubbing all the remaining sleep out of her eyes, she took a quick look around the clearing. Much to her relief, it looked as peaceful as ever. An owl kept hooting somewhere in the distance, the campfire was slowly burning out, and judging from the collective snoring of the group, everyone seemed fast asleep. Everyone except Albel.

Nel started. The last time she remembered, he had been lying on his side, obviously drifting into sleep. Right now, he was sitting straight. In the dying glow of the flames, she could see that his eyes were wide open. He wasn't even looking at her, and yet he must have heard her move, so he realized that she was awake.

"Albel?" she tried uncertainly, because she already knew what to expect.

"Hmph." The swordsman's gaze rose to meet her face. "Some professional you are. Wasn't it your turn to stand guard, fool?"

Nel clenched her teeth. She disliked being scolded, especially in such a rude manner and by Albel the Wicked, of all people. Unfortunately, at this very moment, he had every right to be angry. She had screwed up, put the whole group in danger, there was no point denying that.

"I… I'm sorry," she said quickly, feeling her cheeks warm up a bit. "I must have dozed off…"

"No shit," he snapped, pointing at Cliff with a slight toss of his head. "Just a second ago, you were snoring almost as loudly as that maggot over there. Too bad no monsters came to attack us, perhaps that would've taught you a lesson."

Having to listen to such a long speech from the usually silent man was indeed an unpleasant experience, but now was not the time to act on her wounded pride. "For how long…?"

"Almost an hour," he cut her off. Nel cringed, yet stubbornly refused to lower her gaze.

"I'm really sorry, Albel." Apologizing to this man wasn't easy, but given the situation, it was the only fair thing to do. "You should've woken me up."

"Whatever, fool. Now go back to sleep."

Saying that she was surprised would have been a huge understatement. She was downright shocked. Had he just offered to relieve her from her duty? To help her? In such a wonderfully selfless manner?

"What…?" She blinked at the man, not quite understanding. "I mean… No, it's my turn to keep watch."

"Don't make me repeat myself."

"Albel?"

"It's alright," his voice sounded harsh, but it no longer held any malice. "…You're tired."

"So are you," she opposed softly, too stupefied to remember his nasty remarks from before.

"Bah. I'll manage." Albel's lips curled up, forming an all-too-familiar smirk. "You, on the other hand… If you don't rest now, you'll be stumbling over your own feet tomorrow."

He was probably right, although, as tempted as she felt to take his unexpected offer, Nel knew it simply wouldn't be right to burden the swordsman with her responsibility. Sure, he didn't look that tired, but he was still human, and his endurance wasn't limitless. He had stayed awake for the most part of the previous night, guarding the group's safety, and except for two or three hours of sleep, stolen during their short breaks, he had had virtually no time to recover.

"No, please, I'll be fine," she finally answered in what she hoped was a firm tone. "Go back to sleep, Albel."

Something indefinable flickered in the man's eyes, and when he spoke, his voice sounded angry, yet at the same time oddly expressionless. "How long are we going to continue with this ridiculous conversation? I told you, I'm not going to sleep. I can't. So you may as well roll over and take a nap until dawn."

Ignoring her common sense, which was currently screaming in protest, Nel leant forward. She wanted to ask her question, regardless of all possible consequences, even though Albel's answer seemed entirely predictable.

"…Why?"

"None of your business."

Entirely predictable, yes. Shaking her head, she went on, "You… have vivid dreams, don't you?"

"What?"

Just this once, she had managed to catch him off guard. Oddly enough, it didn't make her feel triumphant.

"Your dreams, Albel." She leant back to rest her shoulders against the nearest tree. "You realize that you sometimes moan in your sleep, don't you?"

"That's really none of your business, wench," the Glyphian hissed furiously, as loud as he could without having to worry about waking up any of their comrades.

Nel tensed at this outburst, ran her fingers through the short grass to calm herself down. Despite his rather offhand behavior, Albel hardly ever called her such names. If he was resorting to them right now, it must have meant that she had managed to upset him, make him truly angry. It hadn't been her intention, though.

"I think it's alright," she said softly, craning her neck to get a better view of the night sky. "We all have nightmares."

Why she was comforting him, she had no idea. Most likely, he would counter her reasonable words with a stream of insults. He was a pathetic loner, after all, unable to share a decent conversation with anyone, especially if it started to turn so personal. Heh, what a joke it was: a little heart-to-heart with Albel the Wicked…

…but it was exactly what she was having right now. And, stranger still, his reactions were nothing like the ones she had expected.

"Nightmares, yeah… but not like these," he finally muttered, his brows pulled together in a thoughtful frown. A mere second later, however, his expression changed, and—as if realizing he had said too much—he spat, "Just forget it, already."

Nel didn't want to push him, for she knew it would only destroy the frail truce between them. She couldn't care less about being friends with this man, but a momentary agreement seemed nice. The silence between them had never felt so comfortable, and suddenly, she was overwhelmed by a sense of relief and security.

"Ever since we left Airyglyph, I've been dreaming of a battlefield," she began, ignoring the incredulous, half-mocking look on Albel's face. "The scenery differs each time, but I'm always surrounded by a vast number of bodies. I'm still alive and able to stand, but I know that the battle is lost, because the enemy is already starting to surround me. They're riders, armed with lances. I'm too tired to fight, and there's nowhere to run. I know I'm going to die, and I feel more sad than afraid, almost resigned… but when I wake up, I'm always covered in cold sweat, as if…" She trailed off, finally realizing that, just like Albel, she had definitely said too much… even though she had deliberately failed to mention that those dreams had started plaguing her right after she had learnt of her father's death; in Kirlsa, not in Airyglyph. The connection was obvious, but she refused to attribute any special meaning to her nightmares. They couldn't be real visions of the past, mystical glimpses into Nevelle's final moments. Nel knew that the circumstances of her father's death had been different.

Still, she had said too much. She would regret it in the morning, for sure, and yet tonight all she did was enjoy the man's silence.

As ridiculous as it seemed, Albel was probably the only person in the group who could understand her. Cliff was a joker, a light-hearted fellow who didn't treat anyone's worries too seriously, including his own. Adray didn't even know what 'worries' meant. Fayt cared, but he was only a growing boy, still disarmingly naïve, in spite of his undeniable maturity. He hadn't spent his whole life fighting battles. Maria had, though Nel would have never thought of confiding her secrets to the cold, introverted girl. Roger wasn't even worth mentioning.

Albel… could at least relate to her problems. She expected neither compassion nor consolation from him, for she knew there was going to be none—on the contrary, she believed he would snap at her any moment now. Nevertheless, he had his fair share of experience, he knew what it felt like, which reminded her…

What about you, Albel the Wicked? she thought, leveling her gaze at the silent captain. What sort of nightmares can cause a grown-up man to whimper in his sleep? Do your victims haunt you? Do you see the faces of those you have slain?

"It's only a dream, fool," Albel finally spoke, and from his tone alone Nel could tell that their conversation was over. "You, on a battlefield, defeated, waiting to be killed? It's never happened, and it never will—unless you keep slacking off like you do now," he finished with a smirk. "So close your eyes already, and stop bothering me. This night's bad enough without your constant blabbering."

She watched the man turn back to the fire. "Albel?"

"What is it, now?" His voice was swollen with irritation, and Nel smiled.

"Thank you."

"Bah. Whatever."

These were the last words spoken between them on that night, even though they both stayed awake until dawn.


Author's Notes: She expected him to do this, she expected him to act that, blah, blah, blah… but Albel's just full of surprises, isn't he? Now, seriously, I don't care if they're both OOC. The unrealized love between them justifies their strange behavior… or let's just pretend that their (and my) lack of sleep was behind all this. XD

If you liked the story, then please, go ahead and tell me. If you didn't, tell me all the same. I'll never improve without constructive criticism. Btw, English's not my first language, so if you noticed any expressions that need to be fixed, don't hesitate to point them out. I'm also wondering… would anyone like to become my beta-reader in this fandom? *coughs* I still have a couple of fics to post, you know…

So, before you leave, the violet button awaits you. :) Pretty please?