Written as a request fic.

I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. But the Roy/Envy pairing intrigues me more than it should.

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He had seen her only a few times, had only spoken to her only once when she asked for directions to the Fuhrer's office. Despite this, however, he felt as though he was in love. Her voice was smooth as silk, her hair long and sleek, and her body was almost perfect – despite a lack of breasts. That wasn't much of a problem though. He wasn't much of a breast man, more of a legs man; she had beautiful, long legs that got showed off in her fairly short skirt.

Roy smiled to himself as he stood outside of his office. He had seen her coming towards the building, and she would have to walk past his office to get the Fuhrer's office.

Part of him wondered why she went to the Fuhrer's office. It wasn't unusual for the Fuhrer to hire hookers, but never the same one more than once. If the Fuhrer was having an affair with this beautiful woman, then it might make Roy's job a little more difficult.

No woman could resist his charms though. He had stolen girlfriends from nearly every man in the military. The Fuhrer may have been a league or two above his comrades, but not above Roy. After all, someday the young man would overthrow King Bradley.

He smirked slightly when he saw her coming towards him. He'd start simple, small talk, and then ask her out for coffee, shooting her a winning smile.

"Hey," he said as she walked closer.

She sent him a cold glance, but otherwise didn't acknowledge him.

Her eyes were a strange shade of violet, her long black hair held slightly back by a black headband.

"I've seen you around. Who're you?" he asked, undeterred.

"Not interested," she said, smirking slightly at the look of shock that crossed his face, then continued along. "By the way," she called from the end of the hallway. "By the way, I'm not a woman."

She snickered as the look of shock increased, and turned the corner, heading towards the Fuhrer's office.

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Please read and review. Con Crit more than welcome, flames will be mocked.