Character(s): Jack...and a Dalek.
Genre: Humor, crack
Pairing(s): One-sided Jack/Doctor, I suppose...and Jack/Dalek.
Wordcount: 324
Notes: Written after the Season 1 finale (and thus a bit old!) If you squint, this is almost a triple-drabble. If you're picky, it's a very short one-shot. Either way, enjoy!

Jack was sobbing, inconsolable. The Dalek hovered awkwardly nearby, revived along with the other humanoids for some reason he couldn't fathom. He didn't care, either-all he wanted was one thing, and that one thing was gone...

"The Doctor left me behind...he must not have liked me after all."

"IT IS ALL RIGHT," the Dalek spoke up. "THE DOC-TOR DOES NOT LIKE ME EI-THER."

"It's not the same!" Jack wailed.

The Dalek paused. "WOULD YOU LIKE TO TALK A-BOUT OUR FEEL-INGS?"

Jack raised an eyebrow. "Our feelings? You mean you're in love with him too?"

The Dalek paused again, eyestalk quivering. "NO. I LOVE YOU."

Tears forgotten, Jack choked in surprise . He didn't say anything for a moment, instead eyeing the Dalek. For all he know, he was alone on this station. Daleks were little blob things at heart, no worse than some other things he'd dated. But that plunger looked decidedly ominous...

He ran.

The Dalek followed, screeching forlorn mechanical requests to return.

Jack ran on, ahead for the moment but knowing he couldn't keep this pace for long. And then he heard that familiar vworping, saw the TARDIS materialize in front of him like an oasis in a desert. One last sprint brought him to the doors, barely solid before he started pounding on them.

"Doctor! DOCTOR! LET ME IN!"

The Doctor (looking a good deal different and more than a bit nonplussed) opened the TARDIS doors. Jack tumbled over the threshold, gasping for breath.

"Well, it's nice to know you missed us..." Rose began, but was cut off.

"Close the door! There's a Dalek chasing me!"

"They tend to do that," the Doctor replied, already reaching for the controls as Rose helped Jack to his feet.

"It says it's in LOVE WITH ME!"

"Well, now," the Doctor replied. "That's not normal."