A/N: Hello everybody! I know it's been a while, but I'm back! And with a the last of my original chapters. I'll see if I can come up with some more for you guys, but until then, I hope you all enjoy this new chapter!

Part 5

We are still on this forsaken planet and this dead sperm whale is really getting on my nerves. Everybody's just gone. Arthur left with some old guy. Whatever. I really don't care. The old guy wanted me to come, but when he saw me, he changed his mind. Don't blame him. Like I said, I could really care less. Who would wan to go with that old guy anyway? I won't miss him.

This planet is the dullest thing I have ever seen. It's hard to imagine this was once a thriving society. This is just one colossal wasteland. It's a complete mess. This whole planet is a drag. Why I decided to come onto this planet, I have no idea. Anyway, this was one of the worst planets I've ever seen. And I despise the stupid sunsets here. They are really depressing. I'm not getting you down am I?

Anyway, now I'm just sitting here, nothing to do except see if I'm missing any parts. It's really boring on this planet. I don't know why Zaphod would want to come to a planet like this. There has to be a good reason to come to a place like this. Zaphod may not be the sharpest tool in the box, but he's smart enough to have a good reason to come to a place like this. I mean he went through stealing a ship to get here. Then again, I could be wrong and this could be a complete waste of time for all I know.

I started to take a walk along the planet. Oh, how I loathed it. I don't know why, but it really made me feel depressed. I felt like just lying face down in the dirt. I guess I should probably just do that. Maybe I will. I then found a ship there. I started talking to it. I could tell from the get go that it hated me. It started making these weird noises. It was really annoying. I kept on talking to it anyway. After a few minutes, it committed suicide. That really depressed me.

Everything I talk to hates me. It's a sad fact of nature. It's sad really. I can't talk to anybody or anything about anything. They just either walk away, runaway, or just die. How wretched is that? I'm wretched. This whole universe is wretched. It's really sad. Why couldn't I just be normal? Whatever normal is. Other robots hate me. Now how pathetic is that? I don't know but it really is. It gives me a headache just thinking about it. I don't think it gets much worse than having something kill itself just after starting to talk with it.

It's depressing when life hates you and you hate life. How can it get this low? How low can it get worse without hitting the bottom? Maybe I did hit rock bottom. Maybe I'm just scraping along the bottom. Just thinking about the bottom of the ocean is depressing. I hate the ocean.

Anyway, I better wrap it up. If you are still reading this, if anybody happens to find this anyway, I congratulate you of lasting this long without screaming in pain or pulling out the hair on your head, or heads, whichever applies.

I'm going to stick my head in the ground now…