Radar Love.
Notes: The title comes from an episode of Dark Angel of the same name. Written for the "telephone" challenge on svflashfiction.
It started with a phone call.
The ringing woke them all up at three in the morning, but Clark was the first to reach the handset. His parents weren't far behind, giving him worried eyes as he said "hello," because middle-of-the-night phone calls were never a good thing.
"Clark."
"Lex?" Clark barely recognized the hoarse, panicked voice on the other end of the line. "Lex, what's wrong?"
"I can't get away from it, Clark. Every time I fall asleep, it's right there. Waiting for me."
"Lex, calm down. I don't know what you're talking about. What's waiting?" His father made a questioning gesture, and he shrugged. He didn't know what was going on, either.
"The ocean."
Ah. "Lex, we're in Kansas. We're about as far from the ocean as you can get." His father's face turned irritable, probably thinking that Lex was calling over a beach house or something, but his mother got it, at least.
"Don't you think I know that?" Lex almost shouted. "I know it's nowhere near. But I can still hear it. Every time I fall asleep. Every time I turn out the lights. Every time I'm alone."
Which explained the frantic phone call. Lex probably just wanted to hear someone's voice. "Hey, I'm here. You're not alone. Just calm down for a minute, Lex."
"You're not going anywhere?"
Yeah, Lex was definitely having problems, if he had even a slightly pathetic note in his voice. Clark didn't think he'd ever heard Lex sound anything but cool and in control, except for the occasional time when he was almost dying. And even then he didn't sound like this- he made noise, he demanded help, he even yelled himself hoarse, but he never, ever sounded like this.
"I'm right here. I'll stay on the phone as long as you like." Clark had learned that particular soothing voice long ago, first on nervous animals that could sometimes sense something different about him and then later on the almost-victims he'd gotten used to rescuing.
Lex's voice altered, and Clark could almost see the panicked expression melt away, leaving sanity behind. "Christ, I didn't realize what time it was. I'm sorry."
"No, don't worry about it. I was up."
"I didn't wake everyone up, did I?"
Of course you did. "No, Lex. You didn't wake everyone up." He tucked the phone between his ear and his shoulder and jerked his head at his parents, indicating that they should go back to bed. Jonathan gave him a disbelieving look, but his mother grabbed his arm and dragged him back up the stairs. Clark wandered into the kitchen, automatically starting a pot of coffee, since this looked like it was going to be a long night.
"So," he said, his hands busy with water and filter and the resulting shot of revitalizing caffeine. "I heard Helen wasn't hanging around the mansion anymore."
"No," Lex said, and he didn't sound panicked anymore, he sounded smug. That was more like it. "It turns out that I was set up. She arranged the plain crash."
"I saw her harrowing tale of danger and your selfless heroism in the newspaper, but somehow I doubted it."
"What, you don't think I would have done it?"
"Oh, I'm sure you would have. But remember, you'd already had one wife try to kill you. I just figured that history was repeating itself."
"And you didn't investigate to avenge my death?" Lex sounded surprised. "I'm hurt, Clark."
"They didn't tell you?" It figured. Clark was the only one who ever told Lex anything, and he hadn't exactly been broadcasting what had happened to the one person who didn't know about it.
"No, what happened?"
"I was in Metropolis all summer," Clark said. "I was... a different person there."
"I find that hard to believe," Lex said. "You've always been the poster boy for good behavior."
Clark took his coffee and went into the living room. "Do you remember how I acted last fall, after getting the school ring?"
"Ah," Lex said. "How did it happen again?"
No probing questions into the why, just accepting. Clark liked it. It was restful. "I did it deliberately," he said. "Mom had just lost her baby, and I thought it was my fault. I wanted to get away from everyone so I couldn't hurt them, and I wanted not to care."
"So you lost yourself in your own personal narcotic," Lex finished. "What happened?"
Clark shrugged, even though he knew Lex couldn't see it. "A lot of stuff I wasn't proud of." He paused, and then, because it was Lex, added, "A lot of stuff that wasn't legal."
"I'm surprised that it didn't follow you back to Smallville," Lex said. "Clark Kent isn't exactly a hard name to track down in these parts."
"I was going by a different name in Metropolis," Clark said. He'd attempted casual, but he was pretty sure it hadn't worked.
"What name?"
"Kal."
"Ahh." Lex's voice came out on a hiss of recognition, and Clark winced. If Lex had heard about him, back only for a couple of days and obviously not quite in touch with his sanity yet, then he'd become a bit more of a legend than he'd thought.
"I see my reputation proceeds me," he said, trying to make a joke, but Lex wasn't playing.
"Clark, the man I heard about did some pretty impossible things." Lex wasn't quite asking for an explanation, but he wasn't not asking, either.
Clark thought about it for a minute. Thought about all the time he spent just not caring, and how even so, Lex's absence had been like an ache in his side. Thought about the year before, when Cassandra had warned him that someone close to him would die, and how he'd warned his parents. And Lex.
"Lex, if you don't ask me any questions, I won't have to lie."
It wasn't a confession, but it was close. It meant that he had something to lie about, and Lex had always been good at connecting the dots. It was only a matter of time now, and they both knew it.
"Then I won't ask. Yet."
Clark let out a sigh of relief- he hadn't expected Lex to press, because if anyone understood it would be Lex, but it was still a relief. Lex could be... stubborn when there was a mystery that caught his attention.
The silence that fell between them was surprisingly comfortable, considering everything that lay between and behind the two of them. But it was like the old days again, when Clark was just the boy who'd saved Lex's life and had suddenly gained a new best friend in the bargain, and Lex was just the billionaire's son who wanted to prove that he was different. Lex would visit the Fortress, or Clark would run over to Lex's, and they'd sit for hours, doing their separate things and not really talking, just enjoying not being alone. Clark missed those times, and though he regretted pretty much everything that had happened this summer, to him and to Lex, at least they had this again.
"So," he said, suddenly whimsical. "How was your summer?"
Two days later Clark woke up early and found Lex sitting on the porch steps. The sun wasn't up yet, though false dawn tinged everything with an odd pinkish-gray color. Clark wasn't exactly surprised to see him, though he certainly hadn't expected the visit.
"Hey," he said, coming out to sit down beside Lex. "You're up early."
"Late, actually," Lex explained. He seemed a little twitchy, and was jittering his right leg up and down almost compulsively. "I couldn't sleep."
"Why didn't you call me?" Clark asked. "Talking helped a little last time, didn't it?"
"Of course," Lex said, still jittering. "However, even when I'm not at my best I can spot a Clark lie. I know I woke everyone up last time. I didn't want to disrupt everyone's sleep just because I'm a little crazy."
"Lex, you're not crazy," Clark said firmly. Lex stopped jittering and went very still, though he still had his gaze focused straight ahead instead of looking at Clark. "And I want you to call me whenever you need to, no matter what time it is." Lex still wouldn't look at him, so Clark touched him gently on the shoulder. That got Lex's attention- the two of them only very rarely touched, though the bear hug from several days ago stuck out in his mind. God, he'd been so relieved that Lex was alive.
"You really don't think I'm crazy?" Lex whispered. Clark withdrew his hand reluctantly, though it felt wrong to do so.
"No. I don't think you're crazy at all."
"Then how do you explain this?" Lex waved a hand around him expansively, as if indicating his presence there, or possibly just life in general. "I'm actually afraid to go to sleep at night, because I can't get the sound of the ocean out of my head. Does that sound sane to you?"
"I think you survived something that very few people could have, and I think it's still affecting you," Clark said. "But crazy?" He snorted. "This is Smallville. You're the model of sanity, compared to most of this town."
Lex gave him a half-hearted attempt at a smile. "You're right, I guess."
"I know I'm right," Clark said. "Trust me."
Lex turned and pinned him like a bug on a needle with his intense stare. "I do," he said, very seriously. "I wouldn't be here if I didn't."
Clark smiled at him. "Our porch is your porch," he said, and Lex, for the first time, smiled back at him.
Despite Clark's repeated reassurances that it was no problem, Lex refused to call in the middle of the night again. Clark wasn't sleeping well anyway, since he ended up lying awake and worrying about Lex- was he okay? Was he sleeping?- so he quickly got in the habit of calling Lex right before bed. Lex told him that it helped, having Clark's voice echoing in his head when he went to sleep, and Lex started looking a little better as the week wore on.
They talked about a lot of things, both important and inconsequential. They could talk for hours, but the two things they never discussed were the island, and Clark's secret. Lex refused to say anything about the one, and Clark knew better than to push. Lex would tell him in his own time, and apparently, Lex knew the same about him.
There was no long any doubt in his mind that he would reveal all his secrets to Lex. The only thing he wasn't sure of was when he would do so.
For the first couple of days, an oft-discussed topic of conversation was Lexcorp. When Lex had been declared dead the company had been absorbed into Luthercorp, but now that Lex had been found, the company was in his hands again. Lionel had reiterated his offer for Lex to join him at the helm of Luthercorp, however, and Lex was a little torn.
"I used to think it was everything I ever wanted," Lex said. "But now I'm not sure if that's what I want to do. Who I want to become."
"Lex," Clark said, and repeated the advice that he had given the first time around. "If anyone can choose who they want to be, it's you."
Lex thought about it for a day or so, then told his father very politely that he wouldn't be accepting his offer, and would be please send the paperwork via lawyer for the resumption of Lex's duties as CEO of Lexcorp. Clark had quietly savored the fact of Lex's continued presence, and very deliberately didn't delve too deep into the why of his fierce satisfaction.
Lex may have made up his mind about things, but Clark was still having trouble with his own self-definition. He knew that he'd made the right decision by staying in Smallville and not running away again, but he felt like he was being smothered the whole time. He wasn't on red kryptonite anymore, but he still felt different from the Clark Kent, hero farmboy, that he'd been before Metropolis. He felt like he didn't fit in his own skin anymore, and the dichotomy between who he was and who he was expected to be was confusing.
He explained this to Lex during one of their nightly phone calls, and Lex just laughed, his chuckle low and smooth, rolling down the line to Clark's ear like a gift. "You may not be under the influence, Clark, but you've still changed. Even you can't go through experiences like that and come out unscathed."
It used to be that Clark would flinch away from comments like that, pretend that they hadn't been said or cover them up, whichever worked best. But these days Clark let the words fall into the pool of silence between them, and didn't rush to hide the ripples. He wasn't ready to tell Lex his secret, but he wasn't covering it up, either.
Lex understood that. It made things easier.
"It's just so weird," he said then. "For the most part, people treat me like I never left. But I did leave, and I didn't come back the same. How do I convince them that I've changed, while still proving that I'm me?"
"Try something simple," Lex said. "To start with. Something shallow and physical. Like your clothes."
Clark remembered black jeans, tight t-shirts, leather jacket, hair that stuck out at all angles instead of being combed obediently flat. The clothes were carefully boxed up and stored in the rafters in the barn, out of the way of temptation to wear them, but he remembered.
Lex was with him when he got the box out of the rafters, and it was Lex who went through and picked out what was worth wearing. The jacket was set aside for some other time, but when Clark went to school the next day he was wearing tighter black jeans and a plain white tshirt. Nothing fancy, Lex had explained. Just enough so that people give you a second glance and wonder.
And people did. Pete gave him a worried look, but relaxed when Clark reassured him that he was red kryptonite-free. Chloe started watching him when she thought he wasn't looking, longing in her eyes that Clark pretended not to notice, and Lana just looked confused. He'd given the friends speech, and the opening up speech, and probably a couple of others mixed in there as well, but bottom line, they weren't together anymore. There was a reason for that beyond the complexities of the relationship itself, but Clark wasn't ready to tell her, or anyone else, what it was.
Anyone but Lex.
"I think I'm gay."
Lex had finally broken down and bought him a cell phone. It had been a relief to his parents, who had been very unhappy about the size of the phone bill, and a relief to Clark, who was glad to be able to have conversations away from prying parental ears. He was taking advantage of it, sitting on the dock at Crater Lake with his feet dangling in the water and the phone tucked between his ear and his shoulder.
"And just when did you come to that conclusion?" Lex said, unshakeable as ever when it came to anything but his own private island-inspired psychosis.
"This summer," Clark said. "I told you I did a lot of things."
"And apparently men were one of them," Lex said. The old Clark would have blushed and maybe even choked on his own tongue, but the new Clark just laughed a little and moved on.
"Every night, I came in with a different girl," Clark said. "And every night, I left with a different guy."
Lex was silent for so long that Clark was beginning to wonder if maybe he'd made the wrong decision in saying anything. Finally, though, Lex spoke.
"You know, until you said that I would have said that any vice you could come up with, I'd already done a hundred times. That's new even for me, though."
Clark hunched his shoulders down defensively, even though Lex couldn't see him. "So you never-"
"Once or twice," Lex said. "Women are my preference, though." He paused, and Clark got the awful feeling that Lex was making a disgusted face, like Clark was now something unclean, someone unworthy of Lex's time. He wondered if he'd ruined their easy friendship with his confession. "I wonder if men would be more or less likely to kill me if I got involved with them."
Clark laughed, and let himself be reassured. He also tried not to let himself think about why Lex's reaction mattered so very much to him, but denial was a talent that he'd been better at before the summer in Metropolis.
Things were different now.
"You know, I don't think I've ever seen anyone move that fast in my life," Lex told him over the phone. Clark was sitting in the Torch, going through Chloe's meteor-mutant files, the phone tucked next to his ear. "Except for all the other times I've seen you rescue people."
"I can move very fast, Lex," Clark admitted cautiously, and changed the subject. "Did you know that something like half our school is in these files? This is insane."
"That doesn't surprise me in the least," Lex said. "How fast?"
He should have known that it wouldn't work on Lex. "When I really put on the burn? About a thousand miles an hour."
"Huh." Lex didn't sound surprised, or freaked, just considering. "And the flattened bullets I found by my car? How did you do that?"
"Let's just say that I didn't dive after you that day in the river and leave it at that for now," Clark said. Definitely time to change the subject. "Do you think I should delete these?"
"I think you'll face the wrath of Chloe if you try," Lex said, letting Clark get away with it. "She knows you're the only person who dares to use her computer when she's not there."
"Thought so. I should talk to her about it, though. If one high school kid with a vendetta happened to get ahold of this, anyone could. What would happen if someone like Dr. Garner read this file? Or any one of the hundred scientists who would probably literally kill to have these people for themselves."
"I'm just wondering why little Miss Sullivan has a file on me," Lex said. "It's not like I've ever demonstrated any interesting powers."
"Hold on a minute," Clark said, and opened up the file on Lex. "It says here that you have an unusually high white blood cell count," Clark told him. "Which would explain the high healing rate, anyway."
"What do you mean?"
Clark sighed. "Lex, you manage to survive some weird shit without my help at all. You also heal faster than anyone I've ever seen. The day Desiree set you on fire, your back was burned almost black. Three days later it was fine. Don't tell me you think that's normal."
"I've also never gotten sick a day in my life," Lex said. "Well, that explains surviving on the island, anyway."
"And also, you're just cool like that," Clark told him, and they ended the conversation laughing.
Chloe walked in as he was putting the cell phone away. "You know, you're not supposed to use those on campus," she said.
"Which never stopped you," Clark pointed out. "I was just talking to Lex about Van and your file on him."
Chloe immediately shifted to defensive. "Look, Clark, you know that I-"
"Can you believe that he didn't even think anything was different?" Clark said, rolling over her explanation. "Apparently he thought healing that fast was normal."
Chloe looked at him consideringly, obviously torn between curiosity and relief that he wasn't going to blame her for the files. "You've been talking to Lex a lot, haven't you?"
He shrugged. "It's easier to connect with him these days. We both changed a lot of the summer. And sometimes it's just nice to hear a friendly voice." He would cut out his own tongue before he exposed Lex's problems to Chloe's journalistic instinct. He loved her, but it was all too likely that it would end up in the next addition of the Torch, or worse, her column in the Daily Planet.
"And sometimes there's something more," Chloe said. "Don't worry, I'm not going to push," she said when he gave her a narrow-eyed stare. "But only because we both know what I'm talking about."
"And what's that, Chloe?" he said. She couldn't really have guessed, could she?
"That your reluctance to get back together with Lana has nothing to do with her at all, and everything to do with a certain bald billionaire."
"He's not a billionaire, Chloe. Lionel is a billionaire. Lex has merely millions." It was a pathetic attempt to deflect her, but it was what popped into his head first, probably from all the times that Lex had told him the exact same thing when Clark called him that.
"Yeah, I know. But I can't resist the alliteration."
Which was what Clark always told Lex.
Chloe let the subject drop, turning the conversation towards Van's fate- imprisonment and serious psychiatric treatment. Clark breathed a silent sigh of relief that she'd let it go, but knew that the reprieve was a temporary one. He and Lex weren't the only ones who'd changed during the summer- Chloe was now almost alarmingly observant, instead of just being annoyingly so. Somehow, she'd guessed his secret, only it wasn't the one he'd been hiding from her for years.
It was the one he'd been trying to hide from himself.
Over the weeks since the summer in Metropolis, Clark had developed several new habits. One of Clark's favorites was Sunday breakfasts at Lex's place.
Sunday breakfasts had always been a big deal in his family, but ever since he'd come home from Metropolis he'd found himself wanting to get away from the hour or so of family togetherness. So the first Sunday after Lex had called, he got up early, grabbed the necessary ingredients from the refrigerator, left a note for his parents and headed for the castle.
He liked the peaceful quiet in the mornings, just him and the noises he made in the kitchen. No matter how quiet he was, though, Lex always woke up when he put the coffee on, and he wandered into the kitchen, bare-chested and heavy-eyed from sleep. He'd sit at the counter, cup of coffee in hand, and watch as Clark made them both breakfast. Afterwards they would sit down at the table and dig in, Clark watching with amusement as Lex ate voraciously. They'd talk and laugh and it was always easy, perhaps the only truly uncomplicated time in Clark's life at the present.
But this Sunday Clark was quiet, not able to bring himself to join Lex's good mood. He was still rattled by his adventures in dreamland with Sarah Connor, and the words she'd spoken to him when he went to visit her in the hospital.
Lex noticed Clark's unusual reticence sometime after the first cup of coffee, and called him on it. "Are you alright?" he asked, and Clark wasn't quite sure how to answer when Lex was looking at him with concerned blue eyes that Clark had been dreaming about. Not to mention the rest of him, so much smooth tight skin right there next to him, and Clark had been dreaming about that, too.
"I'm fine," he said. "Just a little unsettled from the whole thing with Sarah."
"You were staying awake for two days straight, weren't you?" Lex asked, and reached out to rest a hand on Clark's shoulder. Clark's heart kicked uncomfortably into overdrive, and he shifted a little in his seat. "You look exhausted. You want to go to sleep for a bit, or do you have to get back home for chores?"
Sunday was the one day of the week when Clark didn't have any chores, so he didn't exactly have an excuse to say no. "That's probably a good idea," he said. "I'll go as soon as I finish cleaning up."
"That's what the maids are for," Lex said. "Come on, you can take the couch in my office."
They both stood up, Clark following Lex out of the room. "You're working today?" Clark asked, keeping his tone light. "Isn't that legally considered cruel and unusual punishment or something?"
"Not exactly," Lex said, his amusement floating back to Clark. "Haven't you heard of 'no rest for the wicked?'"
"I think it's actually 'no rest for the weary,' and you're not exactly a model of wickedness these days, Mister Responsible Business Owner," Clark said. "How's that turning out for you, anyway? Regretting not taking your dad's offer yet?"
"Actually, not at all," Lex said. "I like being my own man."
"You do it well," Clark said, entering Lex's spacious, expensive office. "Investors must quail when you knock on their doors."
"Something like that," Lex said with a grin. "Though these days, we use phones."
He went and settled behind his desk, and Clark kicked off his boots and stretched out on the couch. He'd used to sleep here all the time, though the couch had once been shorter. After his second time napping on the couch, he'd come over to find that the couch had been replaced by one that was longer- sufficient even for his six-foot-plus frame. He knew damn well that Lex had done it for him.
He lay there, on his side with his bicep as a pillow, and watched Lex through slitted eyes. Lex looked competent and in control behind a desk, even when he was wearing the same pair of loose drawstring pants that he slept in instead of a three-piece suit. Behind a desk he was Lex Luthor, extremely powerful businessman at only twenty-three, and the fact that he was only half-dressed just made him that much more tempting. Clark always had liked to watch him like this, but now the view was even better.
Finally he gave up on watching Lex go through spreadsheets and harass investors over the phone, and closed his eyes for a serious attempt at sleep. Sarah Connor's words popped into his head almost immediately, damning in their accuracy, and he groaned silently. Couldn't he get away from this for one damn day?
He cracked his eyes again, and took another long look at Lex. No, he guessed he couldn't get away from it, not when it was sitting just on the other side of the room, looking like sex. How the hell was Clark supposed to get away from that?
I may have been there,
Clark, but he's the man of your dreams.
Lana cornered him at the Talon a couple of days later. He was sitting at one of the tables, on the phone with Lex, who was walking him through a particularly stubborn trigonometry problem. Math had never been his strong suit, but for Lex it was a walk in the park.
"Got it!" he was saying triumphantly, when he saw a shadow over him. He looked up to see Lana standing there, giving him a particularly eloquent look. Oh no. He knew that look. She wanted to talk.
"Hey, I gotta go," he told Lex. "Lana's here."
"Oh, well, if it's Lana, then I guess I can forgive you," Lex said. He'd told Lex that he was gay, but Lex still seemed to think that he was in love with Lana. He hadn't gone out of his way to correct him, since it was easier than admitting the truth. "Call me back if the next few problems give you any trouble."
"I will," he said, and hung up. He looked up at Lana. "I know that look. Sit. Talk."
She gave him a slightly guilty grin and sat down across from him, carefully setting down the tray on the table just on the other side of his spread-out math papers. "I just wanted to ask why you've been avoiding me. That's all."
Clark sighed, wondering if he'd look really stupid if he just slammed his head against the table repeatedly. Not that it would do him any damage, and it would probably give his secret away when the table cracked, but it might help the frustration a little.
"Lana, we've been over this. You don't want a guy who can't open up, and I'll never be anything else. Stalemate."
"Which still doesn't explain why you've been avoiding me," she said firmly. "Seriously, Clark. We've been friends for a while now. If you don't want to tell me your secrets, fine. But at least tell me why you're going out of your way to make sure that we see each other much."
Clark scrambled for an explanation that would sound reasonable. "I just thought that maybe I'd give us both a little time, to let things settle out." It sounded weak even to his ears.
"So," she said slowly, "it doesn't have anything to do with Lex?"
This time, he gave in and bashed his head down on the table. Just once, and not hard enough to damage the table. It didn't make him feel any better.
"Does everyone know?" he muttered, forehead still pressed against the table. "Did someone take out a goddamn bulletin, or am I just that obvious?"
She laughed gently, and rested one slender hand on his shoulder. "Chloe and I just know you pretty well, is all. I though something was up, I mentioned it to her, and she told me how much time you two spent together these days. It wasn't too hard to put things together after that. But no, I don't think everyone knows. Your secret is safe with us."
He unfolded himself and looked at her searchingly. "You don't seem upset," he said.
She shrugged. "You and I, well, it's always been complicated. Everything usually is when it comes to you. And I'm not a complicated girl, so it had already occurred to me that we weren't exactly meant for each other."
"And you think that me and Lex are?" he asked. It was a relief to be able to say those words aloud- me and Lex- when he'd been thinking them for weeks now. Maybe longer.
"I think that Lex is almost as complicated as you are, in his own way," Lana said. "I think he might be able to understand you in a way that I can't."
Clark thought about it for a minute. "Is that your way of telling me to go for it?"
"It's my way of telling you to think about it," she said. He frowned at her.
"I haven't been doing much else lately but think about it, Lana. Trust me on that."
She laughed again. "Well, in that case, it's my way of saying maybe you should go for it. You're the only one who can really make that decision, you know."
"I know," he said, slouching lower in his chair. "But you may have noticed that I'm not exactly good at making the first move. It took me two whole years with you."
She patted his shoulder, then withdrew her hand. "Think about it for a while. It's a risk, but it's one that you'll have to take if you really want to be with him. Lex values your friendship so much. I know for a fact that it's just about the most important thing in the world to him. If he returns your feelings, he's not going to do anything to jeopardize that friendship. So keep that in mind."
"Great," he muttered. "It's doomed."
"It's not doomed," she said. "In fact, I'm sure things will work out. You two have all the time in the world."
She stood up, and he tilted his head back to smile up at her. "Thanks, Lana. You really are a great friend."
She smiled back at him. "So are you," she said, and went off with her tray to serve coffee. He was left to sit there and think about her words, over and over, trying to make a decision.
He wanted to be with Lex. Since apparently it wasn't a secret even to his friends, he might as well admit it to himself. He was in love with Lex, and probably had been even before the summer in Metropolis. But if he wanted to be with Lex, then he would have to make the first move. And having no clue how Lex felt, he had no idea how he was supposed to be able to do that.
Maybe he could try and find out how Lex felt. Test the waters, so to speak. It was a legitimate plan, and didn't require him to expose himself in various painful and embarrassing ways just yet.
And maybe he'd get lucky, and find out that Lex felt the same way about him as he did about Lex.
A month or two of talking every day and Sunday breakfasts and naps on Lex's couch hadn't prepared him for this. They were just sitting and talking, and so nothing should have been different, but it was. The air between them felt charged with Clark's new awareness, though he managed to act casual from years of hiding his secret.
When the weather started getting cold, Lex liked to light a fire in his study, and Clark loved to lay in front of it and bask in the heat. He'd figured out not too long ago that his strength was connected to the sun, and while the cold didn't affect him, the heat of the fire reminded him of sun-warmth, and it helped dispel the winter chill that had nothing to do with the temperatures outside and everything to do with the shortened hours that the sun was in the sky.
Lex had broken out the fires about a week ago, with the onset of true fall, and they'd done this twice already since. The positioning was therefore familiar- Clark stretched out, on his back on the floor in front of the fire, arms folded behind his head as a pillow. Lex was lounging in one of the several overstuffed chairs, a glass of something alcoholic in one hand and a sleepy look on his face. Clark was watching him through half-lowered eyelids as they talked, their voices low and drowsy, though in Clark's case it was an act, and he was wide-awake.
The only difference this time from the other two was that Clark was bare-chested in front of the fire. He'd explained to Lex, with a very straight face, that he only really got warm when the heat was directly on his skin. An entertaining piece of fiction, as Lex would say, but Lex had just nodded agreeably, and soon Clark was lounging on the floor in front of him like a present waiting to be unwrapped.
Lex didn't really react to all the suddenly visible skin, just smiled at him and took a sip of whatever was in his glass and started talking about something trivial. So Clark had continued lounging, making sure that he was displayed to best advantage just in case it made Lex change his mind and jump him, and made the pleasant discovery that the heat really did feel better on bare skin. Clark kept inching closer and closer to the fire, stopping only when Lex gave him a disbelieving look and said, "Aren't you burning up, that close to the fire?"
Not really. He wouldn't be burning up even if he was in the fire, which was something to be tried sometime when Lex wasn't around. "I guess," he said, and scooted back a reluctant few inches. Lex noticed his reluctance and said, "You really like the heat, don't you?"
Clark just shrugged. "I'm really more of a summer person than a winter person," he said, which was absolutely true. Lex hadn't yet been around to see him during the summer, but if he had he would understand what an absolute understatement that was. Clark loved the summer, and had more than once severely startled his mother when she would wander out into a field to find him lying there naked, soaking the sun in. At least now he knew why, but he was pretty sure he'd shocked his mother into a few gray hairs down the line.
"Funny, I'm just the opposite," Lex said. "I prefer the winter over summer any day."
Clark lazily rolled his head to stare at Lex. "Makes sense," he said. "You've got winter skin."
Lex looked at him with amusement. "What do you mean by that?" he asked.
"Very pale, very smooth," he said. "Easily burnt. Winter skin."
"Ah," Lex said. "And you would have summer skin, I take it?"
"Absolutely," Clark said. His vague sense of drowsiness was no longer an act, the heat from the fire working its magic on him and relaxing him to a puddle of melted Kryptonian on the marble of the fireplace. "I don't burn, tan easily and stay tan. Summer skin."
"I can see that," Lex said, and Clark felt the burn of Lex's heated glance all over his bare skin. Clark opened his eyes all the way and stared at Lex, the eye contact between them heady and intoxicating, like the first rush of red kryptonite against his skin. The moment stretched on, and Clark could see Lex weighing his choices, considering this and throwing out that, and he saw the moment that Lex decided on a course of action. Lex was going to make a move, he was sure of it, but just as he was tensing his muscles to get out of the chair and close the distance between them, the phone rang.
Lex smiled apologetically at him. "I'm sorry, I have to get that; it's the business line." Mentally, Clark cursed whoever it was with a thoroughness and viciousness that he'd learned from months in Metropolis, but outwardly he just nodded and smiled agreeably.
Lex went and answered the phone, and Clark waited till he was out of the room before rolling over to bash his head lightly against the marble a couple of times. He'd been so close. He knew that Lex was going to kiss him, but of-fucking-course, the phone had rang. Life just couldn't be that good to Clark.
He heard the door open, and he twisted his head around to see Lex come back in. His heart sank when he saw that the sleepy, open look had been replaced by the cool business look, and there was a stack of papers in his hands. "Guess something came up, huh?" he said, trying hard to keep the disappointment out of his voice. He might have even succeeded.
Lex gave him an apologetic smile. "Major crisis at one of my holdings. I'll be at this all night, probably."
He didn't tell Clark to go home, because Lex was too well-bred to ever actually say it, but Clark could take a hint. He was in the way here.
"I'll clear out," he said, getting to his feet and grabbing his shirt. He could feel Lex's eyes on him, following his movements, and again he cursed whoever had called. He pulled the tshirt over his head and buttoned the flannel shirt, turning around to see Lex still looking cool and businesslike, but with a lingering bit of heat in his gaze that indicated that he had been unashamedly staring at Clark while he had his back turned. Fair enough- Clark had been staring at Lex for weeks.
"You don't have to go," Lex said. He always said this, but it usually sounded like a token protest, while this time it seemed real. "I might be able to wrap it up early."
Clark just shrugged and smiled. He'd gotten what he'd come for, really- the knowledge that Lex was at least attracted to him. Even if other feelings weren't there, it was somewhere for Clark to start. Now that he knew that, the rest was inevitable, and could therefore wait. "It's okay," he said. "I have to be heading home anyway." He didn't, because his parents had given up on a curfew for him since he'd gotten back from Metropolis and spent several evenings a week at Lex's mansion, but Lex didn't know that. "I'll swing by tomorrow after school."
Lex smiled back at him, a promise in his look. "I'll be here."
Clark gave him a look that said he knew what they were both talking about, then grabbed his coat and walked out.
Unfortunately for Clark's libido, when he arrived at the mansion the next day after school, Lex was buried hip-deep in paperwork. He seemed to be on three phones at once, and switched from screen to screen in the four computer screens he had up, looking harassed. He managed to spare a brief glance, a shrug and a mouthed, "Sorry," to Clark, but Clark just shrugged back and settled on the couch. He had homework to do anyway, and it was certainly more entertaining to do it here where he could watch Lex in his natural habitat than at home at the kitchen table with his mother hovering and making dinner and fretting over bills.
An hour later, the homework was all done, and Lex showed no sign of slowing down. Clark took one look at the shadows under his eyes and realized that he hadn't yet been to bed. From there he made the brilliant deduction that this wasn't going to be over any time soon, which meant that their already delayed encounter was going to be delayed a lot more. Clark spent about fifteen minutes mourning over that, and then another fifteen minutes worrying that Lex had changed his mind and that it wasn't going to happen at all.
Then he realized that Lex had been eyeing him since the day they'd met, and if he hadn't changed his mind by now, he probably wasn't going to. Therefore, Clark took the whole mad business rush thing not as a disappointment, but as a chance to play.
Over the next hour or so, he slowly shed his three layers of shirts till he was down to skin and then stretched out on the couch. He tossed and turned, like he was having trouble sleeping, and watched the heated expression that came over Lex's face every time he shifted through cracked eyelids with a gleeful feeling.
Finally he gave up on his game and just drowsed and watched Lex. Lex, apparently, was unaware of being watched, because Clark was pretty sure that Lex would never have allowed that particular tender expression on his face if he through that Clark could see it. It was reassuring on a level that he didn't even realize needed reassuring, and told him that Lex didn't just want him, but cared about him as well.
It helped tide him over through the next three days, while Lex dealt with one business crisis after another. Clark had gone back the next afternoon, to find that Lex hadn't even moved. In fact, he was still wearing the same clothes, though they were significantly more rumpled than they had been the day before. Clark decided to just leave him to it until it was over, and instead of repeating his game from the day before he just left Lex a note to call him when it was over and went home.
He suffered through two more completely Lex-free days, which hadn't happened since that first phone call, weeks ago. Clark was reasonably sure that he was suffering from withdrawal, and while Pete kept giving him worried looks, not knowing what was going on, Lana and Chloe just smirked at him.
He was in the barn pitching hay while his parents washed up after dinner when he heard the car pull up by the front of the house. No one but Lex had anything with an engine that purred, so he went out to the front, pitchfork still in hand, and leaned on it while Lex got out of the car and approached him.
"You look like a Norman Rockwell painting," were Lex's first words to him. Clark gave him an unamused look.
"Hello to you too, Lex," he said. "Crisis over?"
"Multiple crises over, yes," Lex said. He stood silent for a moment, looking jittery in a way he hadn't since the first week or so after the island. "Let's go for a drive," he said abruptly.
Clark tilted his head in question. "Where?" he wanted to know.
"Anywhere," Lex said. "The movies. In Metropolis."
It was a Friday, and he was just about done with the hay anyway. "Let me shower and get changed," he said, abruptly making up his mind.
"You look fine as is," Lex said, and was that a leer? Yes, it was.
"Lex, I look like a sweaty farmboy," he said.
"As I said," Lex purred, sounding like the engine of his car, and that was definitely a leer. Was Lex on something?
"Alright," he said slowly, leaning the pitchfork against the side of the barn. "Let me at least tell my parents where I'm going. Or is that not allowed, either?"
"By all means," Lex said, waving expansively. He crunched back across the gravel and leaned against the side of the car, arms folded and watching Clark with a gleam in his eye. Clark was tempted to check his forehead for signs of fever like his mom used to do, even though he'd never gotten sick, but he figured that Lex would take it the wrong way. So he just went inside.
He did take a very fast shower and changed out of work clothes and into the black jeans, black boots, dark button-up shirt ensemble that had practically been his uniform in Metropolis. The whole process took about three minutes, and he figured that Lex would just have to wait. He managed to obtain a reluctant agreement from both parents for the Metropolis trip, under the condition that he be home by midnight. Interpreting that to mean two o'clock in the morning, he grabbed his long black wool coat, one of the few truly expensive items that he hadn't been able to let go of when returning from Metropolis, and headed out the door.
Lex was still waiting for him, looking hungry when he noticed Clark's change of clothing. "Glad you didn't listen to me," Lex said, unfolding himself from his slouch against the side of the car. "I never got a chance to see you in your Metropolis gear. I think I've been missing out."
"Somehow, I didn't think it'd be the right fashion decision for a small town high school," Clark said calmly. He was starting to put two and two together- the shadows under Lex's bloodshot eyes, the barely contained energy, the odd behavior. "Lex, when was the last time that you got some sleep?"
Lex had to think about it, which was all the answer that Clark needed. He'd seen Lex run low on sleep before- he always seemed to get high off it, at least until he crashed. If Lex hadn't slept much during the last couple of days- and if Clark knew Lex, he hadn't slept at all- then it explained why he was wound tighter than a steel spring.
Clark held out his hand. "Keys."
Lex made no move to hand them over. "I'm perfectly fine to drive, Clark."
"You're really, really not," Clark said, his hand still extended. "Keys."
Lex grudgingly handed them over, and Clark went around to the driver's side and got in. Clark could feel his parents' eyes on him through the window, worrying, but he was more focused on the continual grumbling Lex was doing under his breath as he got in the car and fastened his seatbelt. It was kinda cute.
Oh yeah. He was far gone.
He pulled out of the driveway with a minimum of thrown gravel, and turned right. They'd driven to Metropolis so many times in the past couple of years that Clark knew the way by heart, though usually Lex was the one behind the wheel.
On the rare occasion that Clark got to drive, Lex usually either watched his driving and gave calm advice or, once Clark became a driver that he actually trusted, he'd stare out the window thoughtfully. This time, however, he was staring at Clark, and Clark didn't have to look over at him to know that the look on his face was all about sex.
Apparently, Lex had been just as frustrated with the delay as he'd been, which was a relief. He hadn't thought that Lex would have second thoughts- or at least, he hadn't thought that for long. But it was still nice to know that Lex wanted this as much as he did.
And Clark wanted it a lot.
The silence between them was charged with everything they were both thinking, and through the middle of it, there came Lex's hand. Sneaking across the short distance of leather seat, and resting on Clark's thigh like a promise.
Clark gritted his teeth and hoped that his clenched hands weren't leaving visible dents in the steering wheel. Lex might have been able to guess that he had more-than-normal strength, but it might be a bit hard to explain to anyone else who got in the car.
The hand uncurled and started stroking, Lex's long, elegant, manicured fingers skimming lightly over the soft, worn fabric of his jeans. Clark wasn't sure whether he wanted to grab the hand and pull it away, or push it just a bit higher.
"You're enjoying yourself, aren't you," Clark said, his voice a little lower and little harsher than its usual range. Lex grinned at him, looking remarkably guilt-free.
"I am, rather," he said. He directed his glance towards Clark's lap. "You don't seem to be complaining."
Lex chose that moment to slide his hand higher, the backs of his knuckles just brushing against the front of Clark's straining fly, and that was it, he wasn't that good of a driver. He could survive a car crash easy, but Lex couldn't, and if he did he'd be pissed about the car.
Relieved that they were still relatively far out into the country, Clark found a likely-looking spot by the side of the road and pulled over. He barely had a chance to put the car into park before Lex was on him, lips and teeth on his throat, one hand sliding between the buttons of his shirt and the other shifting to get a firmer grip on his crotch.
Deciding that he could definitely go with this, Clark managed to fumble the seat belt undone and grabbed Lex by the back of his neck, dragging him up till those pink, scar-split lips that he'd always been fascinated with were against his, and he just had to pause for a second because-
He was kissing Lex.
Kissing his best friend, and his first time kissing a man. For all the time he'd spent in Metropolis, going from bed to bed, he'd never kissed any of the men he'd fucked. At the time he just didn't want to feel anything remotely innocent, but now Clark realized that he'd been waiting. Waiting for Lex, and it was more than worth the wait.
He managed to shift sideways, and hauled Lex the rest of the way across the seat and into his lap. Lex fell into an undignified sprawl, but he didn't seem to mind as one of his clever hands started working at the buttons of Clark's shirt, the other kneading Clark's very, very interested cock. Clark retaliated by sliding one hand down Lex's back, relishing the feel of expensive silk, and into the back of his pants, cupping and gripping his ass. Lex moaned and pressed against him, his cock against Clark's stomach, and it was wild and hot and Clark was just on this side of losing control.
Unfortunately, his concience intruded, and Clark realized that he couldn't do this. Not like this, not yet. Not until Lex knew everything.
"Lex, wait," he said, though his words were muffled against Lex's lips. He tried again, pulling away and reluctantly sliding his hand out of Lex's pants. "Lex. Seriously. Wait a second."
Lex pulled away, an expression on his face that could be considered dangerously close to a pout if it was anyone else. "The hell, Clark? I've been wanting to do this for fucking years, and it's been driving me insane for the past four days. I'm not sure that I can wait much longer if I don't want to die."
"I don't want to stop, it's just... I need to tell you before we take this any farther."
"If we took it any farther you'd be halfway down my throat right now, which is what I wanted," Lex muttered, and Clark had to shift as his cock jumped at the imagery. "What the hell is so important that you need to say it now?"
"My secret. The one you've been trying to figure out since you met me, Lex. I need to tell you before we... It wouldn't be fair if you didn't know."
"This better be good, or I'm going to kill you after I fuck you," Lex grumbled, but he squirmed out of Clark's lap and over to his side of the car. Clark swallowed nervously and looked down, fiddling with one of his shirt buttons.
"You know how I can do stuff, right?"
"Like survive being hit by a car, and run faster than the eye can see, and stop bullets with your body? Yeah, I had noticed a little." Lex's voice was sarcastic, still bitter about the interruption, but he was looking interested now.
"Well, the thing is, I'm not exactly human..."
"One of the mutations from the meteor shower?" Lex said. "Why did you get so many different powers instead of one?"
Clark shifted uneasily. "Um. I didn't mutate from the meteor shower. I... kinda... wasthemeteorshower." He said it very fast, and Lex went very, very still.
"Are you trying to tell me that you're an alien?"
"Yeah," Clark said, still nervous. The flat, disbelieving tone of Lex's voice didn't bode well. "I was just a kid, and my parents found me and the space ship in the cornfield and adopted me as their own."
Lex didn't say anything, and Clark bit his lip as he looked at him. "Are you freaked?"
"You're from a different planet, Clark," Lex said. "'Freaked' would be a bit of an understatement."
Clark drooped. He'd sort of been expecting it, after how badly Pete had reacted, but he'd been hoping that Lex would be different, that Lex would be able to understand. "I only found out myself after that day at the bridge. I didn't mean to-"
"I can't decide if I wish you'd told me sooner or if I wish you'd never told me at all," Lex said. He'd pressed himself closer towards the door, further away from Clark, and the expression on his face said that the distance between them might as well be a million miles. Clark reached out, tried to touch him, to revive the connection between them, but Lex flinched away.
Clark dropped his hand, then opened the car door and go out. No reason to stay here, trapped in a tiny car with Lex, who obviously wanted nothing to do with him. If only Clark had waited till after... But at least he had some memories.
"Where are you going?" Lex asked. Clark paused in buttoning his shirt back up and looked through the open door at Lex.
"Away," he said. "Maybe if I give you enough time, you'll stop staring at me like you've never seen me before."
Lex didn't say anything, just watched him with wide, betrayed eyes. So much for the friendship of legend, the destiny that they had together. Whoever said truth hurts had obviously been Clark in a previous life.
Clark finished with his shirt buttons and took of running, moving at regular speed so he'd be able to hear if Lex called after him. But after a few seconds the silence behind him became too much to bear, and he shifted into high gear, leaving the car, and Lex, behind him.
Chloe found him the next morning when she came in to open up the Torch. He was sitting at her desk and indulging in what he considered some very well-deserved brooding, and it took Chloe about half a second to realize that Something Was Up.
She didn't ask about it right away, oh no, not Chloe. Nothing in his life could be easy, could it? Instead, the first thing she asked him was, "How did you get in here?"
As if this was the first time he'd gotten in after hours. Normally he shrugged off the question or said that the lock was missing, but this time he didn't feel like he was pretending so he said, "I broke the lock."
Chloe went to examine it, and stared at it for almost a full minute before turning to him and saying, "Clark, this is melted. What the hell did you do to it?"
"Can we put off the hard questions for a better day, Chloe?" he said irritably. She just shrugged, satisfied that she'd gotten him to tactically admit that he was, indeed, hiding some sort of power, and set it aside for later examination. She came over and sat next to him, looking at him carefully before saying, "You're dressed up. Got a date today?"
"Didn't go home last night," he muttered. He hadn't been able to face the thought of his parents looking at him, so he'd headed straight for school without thinking about the fact that he was still dressed for an evening in Metropolis.
"Okay, so what exactly happened with Lex last night that's got you so screwed up?"
"I thought we were leaving the hard questions for later," he muttered, but caved when she gave him the Look. "I told him something that he wasn't ready to hear, and he didn't react well," he said, doing some seriously heavy editing. Chloe, of course, refused to leave it at that, and leaned over to poke him in the shoulder with one nail-bitten finger.
"Why last night?" she said. "I thought you two were finally going to get together and have wild monkey sex."
"I never said-" he protested, but she gave him another Look.
"Oh please, Clark, it was written all over you. Pete may not have known what was going on, but Lana and I are not so clueless. So, spill."
"We were going to Metropolis, but ended up pulling over before we got very far from Smallville," he admitted.
"Well, I'm impressed," she said, grinning. "I never figured you for the 'side of the road' type of sex."
"It wasn't exactly my choice," he muttered, and she just laughed at him. "Anyway," he said, forging on, "I told him the truth, and he didn't take it well, even though he's been trying to figure it out for years. Guess he didn't want to know after all," he muttered bitterly. Lex had put most of the pieces of the puzzle together already and hadn't seemed freaked, so why was it such a big deal? It wasn't like Clark was psycho, unlike most of the meteor mutants in this town.
"What sort of secret?" Chloe demanded. "Like, your feelings for him? Because I have to tell you, it should have been obvious."
"Not that," he said. She arched an eyebrow inquiringly, and he shook his head. "Not now, Chloe. Frankly, I've had enough bad reactions for one day. You'll just have to wait your turn at hating me."
"First of all, there's almost nothing you could do or be that would make me hate you," she said hotly, her pointed inclusion of "be" telling him that she'd already guessed some of it. Put parts of it together, just like Lex. "Second, I doubt Lex hates you. Even if he didn't react well at first, maybe now that he's had some time to think about it, he'll have come to terms with it."
"I doubt it," Clark said. "You didn't see his face, Chloe. He didn't even want to be in the same car with me. I doubt it's something he's going to just get over."
Chloe sighed and stood up so that she could put her arms around him. "It'll work out," she said into his hair. "Even a blind idiot can see that Lex has had a thing for you for ages, and I doubt that this will break you two apart. Just give it some time."
Clark remained silent, gloomily certain that Lex wouldn't want to see him again, ever. Chloe sighed again, sensing his disbelief, and straightened, heading across the room towards the phone.
"I'm going to call your parents, since they're probably frantic," she said. "And you can stay here till Lana gets here. She needs to talk to you about some old newspaper article she found."
Clark stayed where he was until he heard his mom's panicked voice on the other end of the line, and then decided that perhaps the library was a better place to wait. That way there'd be no chance of Chloe making him talk to his parents, and frankly, that was something that he just didn't want to do right now. He knew that they had some leftover fear because of him running away to Metropolis, but he really hadn't been able to bear the thought of facing them with his broken heart quite so raw.
Chloe's fast reassurances followed him out as he left the room, but he knew that no amount of reassurance could fix what was broken with him and Lex. Chloe could talk all she liked about things working out, but he knew better. Lex didn't want anything to do with him, and that wasn't likely to change any time soon.
Clark spent three miserable days waiting to hear from Lex and being disappointed. His parents were very upset with him, and while they didn't even try to ground him, they still watched him with sad, fearful eyes, like he would bolt to Metropolis and leave them to fend for themselves again at any second. They knew that he had a fight with Lex, though not about what, and stepped carefully around that as well. Clark escaped all of it, and his own unhappiness about the situation with Lex, by immersing himself in the mystery of Lana's great-aunt and his father. Jor-El's memories made him seem much more accessible, much more real, since it seemed that he was once a teenager too and not just some mysterious malevolent force. Clark didn't it let him change his mind too much, since Jor-El did, after all, want him to conquer earth and was someone- or something, Clark never quite worked it out- that Clark should never stop working against. But it was still nice to know.
Finally he got his parents into it, and when he followed the memories to their end it was eerie to know that it wasn't just random chance that his parents had found him that fateful day out in the cornfield. It made everything seem eerily planned, organized by a hand that he didn't trust, and obscurely, his only comfort was that no one could ever have predicted his involvement with Lex and subsequent revelation of the truth. No one could have planned that, which meant that Clark wasn't following some predestined path, and even if he was, Lex could be counted on to stop him. Lex was certainly freaked out enough by him to not be overly guilty at anything it might take to stop Clark. It was a small comfort, since Clark would rather have anything but this rift between him and his best friend, but it was a comfort nevertheless.
His parents had backed off for a while and were giving him his space, which was a nice change. He was up in his Fortress, resolutely avoiding the telescope because sometimes he just couldn't face the stars, knowing that they were his origin. He was reading, or pretending to read, one of his endless books that promised answers to every problem, and he heard his cell phone ring.
Thinking that it must be Chloe- he'd given his number to her on the day he'd gotten it and no one ever called his cell but her and Lex- he flipped it open and answered with a distracted, "Yeah?"
"Clark?" Lex's voice said, and Clark almost stopped breathing, because- Lex. Talking to him.
"Lex," he said, and he heard Lex exhale, in surprise, relief, or some other emotion he couldn't tell. "I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me, after..." He trailed off, but Lex filled the spaces of his silence, just like they'd always done for each other.
"I had a visit from Chloe," Lex said, his voice like melted ice cream in Clark's ear. "She told me that if I just talked to you, I'd get over it. When I heard your voice." A long pause, while Clark panicked, and then Lex said, "She was right."
Clark's mouth stretched into his hugest, goofiest grin, totally out from under his control. Lex couldn't see it, obviously, but he was pretty sure that it was obvious in his voice when he said, "That's really good to know, Lex."
"This might not be exactly what you want to hear," Lex said, and yeah, there went the panic again, "but would you mind terribly coming out to the mansion so that we could finish what we started three days ago?"
The last bit of panic was washed away on a tide of sheer, unadulterated joy. "That was pretty much what I was hoping you'd say," he said. "Though I have to say, Lex- I'm pretty sure that this was started a hell of a lot earlier than just three days ago."
"Is that right," Lex said, and yeah, this was flirting. This was what love was supposed to feel like.
"Yeah," Clark said. "Possibly even all the way back to that day on the riverbank."
"What can I say," Lex said, amusement like a gift in Clark's ear. "When you're right, you're right."
"I'm always right," Clark teased.
"In your dreams, farm boy," Lex teased back. There was a sudden loaded silence, and then Lex said, "How soon can you get here, anyway?"
Clark thought about it. "Gotta get permission from my parents. Couple of minutes?"
"I'll see you in a couple of minutes, then," Lex said. Impossible to miss the heat in his voice, even if Clark hadn't been listening for it.
"I'll see you then," he almost whispered, and closed the phone. He tucked it into his back pocket and just stood there for a moment, feeling so much like he was floating that he had to look down at his feet just to make sure. Then it sunk in that he'd just agreed to meet Lex for sex, and his feet were off at a run down the steps almost without his permission. He felt giddy, wild, free for the first time in years.
This was Lex, and this was love.
He didn't remember what excuse he'd given his parents for going to Lex's, but he was pretty sure that it had been lame. Something along the lines of "worried" "he's confused" and "Lex upset" that made it sound like Lex needed his help again, when Lex was the strongest person he knew. But his parents bought it, and even gave him permission to spend the night if he needed, as long as he called. Clark grinned to himself and grabbed a change of clothes and his school books, feeling fairly certain that he would be sleeping in a bed not his own tonight.
He superspeeded to Lex's castle, and jumped the gate like he always did. He spent a minute or so playing a game of tag with the security guards, moving so fast they couldn't see him but making sure they knew he was there, then decided he had more important matters at hand, so to speak, and went inside looking for Lex.
A quick x-ray gave him Lex's location, and he detoured to dump his stuff in Lex's office before heading up the steps to Lex's upstairs study. Lex was sitting on the couch, looking tense, but when he looked up and saw Clark there, his smile was like the sun coming out.
"Clark. That was quick."
"I told you I would be," he said. They might have been talking about one thing, but their voices were saying something entirely different- I can't believe you're here, and Where else in the world would I want to be?
Silence fell between them, and Lex started looking worried again. Lex should never look worried, he should never doubt anything like that, especially not Clark.
So it was Clark who closed the distance between them, crossing the floor in two long strides and bending over to kiss Lex. The angle was bad, but neither of them cared, and after a few seconds Lex stuck two fingers through the belt loops and yanked. Clark fell to the couch beside him, intent on devouring Lex from the mouth down, and Lex's hands were already on his shirt, undoing the buttons. Clark tried to do the same for Lex, but their hands kept getting tangled, and in a bout of impatience he decided that Lex could afford a few torn shorts and just ripped the thing off of him.
Lex's breath caught in a gasp, and Clark grinned against his mouth before sending his hands off to investigate. Lex skin everywhere, very pale and so very, very smooth, like warm living satin under his touch. Lex's nipples were peaked under his questing fingers, and he paused to play awhile.
Distracted, Lex's hands fell away from Clark's shirt, and Clark took the opportunity to stand up and shed all of his clothes, just fast enough that Lex couldn't quite see him do it. Lex grinned at him, and Clark held out one hand to Lex, pulling him to his feet.
"Let's take this to the bedroom."
They were drowsing in the afterglow, Lex draped half-over Clark's chest, one leg flung over his. Clark kept running his fingers over the little knob on the back of Lex's skull, over and over, fascinated by it since the first day he'd seen Lex and grinning happily to himself at finally being able to touch it.
"When do you have to be home?" Lex asked sleepily, and Clark smiled down at him.
"I don't. Got permission to stay over. I think my parents assumed that I'd be staying in the spare bedroom, but either way, I have a change of clothes and my school stuff downstairs. You're got me all night."
"I do, do I?" Lex asked, then rolled in elaborate slow-motion to pin Clark to the bed, wrists extended over his head. "And now I've got you at my mercy. Fear my evil laugh."
Clark grinned up at him, delighted beyond measure at this particular version of Silly Lex that he hadn't seen before. "Only your evil laugh?" he said, affecting an innocent expression. "Shouldn't I be fearing your evil intentions, as well?"
"Oh no," Lex said, "I only have the absolute best intentions towards you, Clark Kent."
The mood veered abruptly to serious, and Clark sighed. "I knew this conversation was coming. Can I at least have my hands back for it, please?"
"I'm sure you could get your own hands back perfectly well," Lex grumbled, but he let go of Clark's hands. Clark sat up and grabbed Lex, who yelped as he was lifted into the air, turned, and redeposited in Clark's lap.
"This is undignified," he muttered, but Clark just laughed at him.
"This is a much better way to have this talk," Clark said. "Now. I know you have questions. Ask away."
"I already know you're very fast and physically impossible to harm, but what other powers do you have? I know I don't know the whole of it yet."
"I'm really strong," Clark said. "When I want to lift weights I bench-press the tractor."
"It must be convenient to live on a farm, where they have heavy machinery suitable to your work-out sessions."
"And no one around to see," Clark added. "Another plus."
"Indeed," Lex said. "Anything else?"
"X-ray vision," Clark said. "And I can set things on fire with my eyes."
"You're kidding," Lex said. Clark shook his head.
"I wish I was," he said. "The X-ray vision developed right around the time Tina Greer went on her rampage, and the heat vision..."
"Desiree," Lex finished for him. Clark looked at him in surprise and he said, "What, I can't fill in the blanks? Seems easy to me. Three mysterious fires, all while you were around, and then they stopped." He paused. "The caves. They have something to do with you, don't they?"
"More than I knew," Clark said. "You know the whole mystery about Lana's great-aunt? It turns out that the drifter suspected of killing her was my biological father. I found his pendant in the cave wall, and I was getting a flash of his memory from everything he once touched."
"That's... really quite extraordinary," Lex said. "So there are more of your kind out there somewhere?"
"No," Clark said, still sad about that, even now. "No, my planet was destroyed just after I was sent away. I'm literally the last of my race."
"Pretty heavy thing to have on your shoulders," Lex said.
"You don't know the half of it," Clark said, and told him the whole depressing saga of Jor-El's plans for him to conquer earth.
"Look at it this way," Lex said when he was finished. "You're always telling me that I'm not like my dad, right?"
"Because you're not," Clark said. It was one point on which he stood absolutely firm. Lex was not his father.
"Well, it's the same thing. Only I never had adopted parents raising me the right way from the very beginning, and you did. If I can manage it, you definitely can."
And that was... perfectly Lex, and actually comforting, unlike his father's platitudes. He grinned down at Lex, who smiled back up at him. "Thanks, Lex. That really helps."
"Keep it in mind, then," Lex said. He stretched lazily, his sweat-slick skin gliding against Clark's own. "Right. As much as I can't believe I'm saying this, I really need to get some sleep. Some of us have early meetings tomorrow."
"And some of us have school," Clark said. "So I actually agree with you."
"And so it's settled," Lex said. "We both need some sleep, so we're going to get up, brush our teeth, and then go back to sleep." Pause. "Any moment now."
"Give it up," Clark said, grinning at him. "We can be uncivilized and terrify each other with our morning breath in the morning. But we're not getting up right now, and you know it."
"Fine," Lex muttered, burying his face in Clark's chest. "I'll just fall asleep right here. And drool on you. It would serve you right."
"Go to sleep, Lex," Clark told him, and Lex mumbled something indistinct into Clark's skin before settling closer and relaxing totally.
Feeling well and truly happy for the first time in a long time, Clark fell asleep with a contended smile on his face.
"Okay, so, first moment."
"When you saved my life," Lex answered.
"That was fast, Lex."
"Well, never let it be said that I don't know what I want. Going after it is sometimes a different matter."
"Oh, please. You always go after what you want. You get obsessive about what you want."
"You were different."
Clark smiled into the phone. "I know."
He could hear Lex smiling back at him, and then Lex said, mock-seriously, "You never answered your own question. Aren't those the rules?"
"Yeah," Clark said. "It's just a hard question. I don't have any one moment when I realized I was in love with you. It was just sort of... there. If I had to pick one, it was the moment that Lana pointed it out to me, but only because I couldn't avoid it anymore."
Lex laughed out loud at that. "Lana told you that you were in love with me? Christ, that must have been hard."
"It was a little weird," Clark admitted. "But she was right, and we both knew it, so it wasn't too weird. It helps that our thing lasted about thirty seconds and is long over, so we're just friends. And I think she's taking lessons from Chloe in directness."
"God help us all," Lex said with feeling. Clark laughed at him.
"Okay, it's your turn. Pick a question."
"Give me a minute." Clark settled further back into the chair, feet propped up on Chloe's desk next to her keyboard, and waited. Finally Lex said, "Moment when you realized that I loved you back."
"I think I've always known," Clark said thoughtfully. "But I was worried that I was wrong. And then I was over on the first day of that insane business rush, and I was watching you when you thought I was asleep. The look on your face... I knew then."
"I can't believe you," Lex said. "Where the hell did you learn to fake sleep like that? Nevermind," he said, before Clark could answer. "Irrelevant."
"Your turn, too," Clark pointed out. He heard Lex sigh softly into the phone.
"I thought that maybe... But I wasn't sure. You were dressing differently, and you were just plain different than before, and you were so gorgeous. You always have been, and then after this summer you changed. You were more serious, and less naive, and there were plenty of times when I thought I saw something... But again, I wasn't sure. And then there was the whole disaster, and I thought that maybe I was wrong, because how could you have kept something from me? But then Chloe kicked my butt, and I called you, and you were coming over... And I actually started thinking about it, and I realized that you wouldn't have told me if you weren't serious. That's when I knew."
"And you were right," Clark said. He shifted in the chair, popping a stiff joint in his spine. "So, tell me more about how gorgeous I am."
Lex laughed softly in his ear. "Brat," he said affectionately. "You know you're gorgeous. And when you started dressing differently, and I could actually see your body instead of it being hidden under flannel all the time..." Lex caught his breath, and Clark unconsciously did the same.
"Yeah?"
"You drove me insane," Lex growled. "Every time I saw you, every time I talked to you, every time I thought about you..."
"You think it was any different for me?" Clark demanded. "I may have taken longer to get a clue, but when I did..." He trailed off. "I was almost afraid of just how strongly I felt for you."
"And now?" Lex said.
"And now I'm not afraid at all," Clark said, a smile on his face and, he was sure, in his voice. "Besides, now I know what you look like under all those suits you're always wearing. I've got a very good memory."
"I don't need one, since those jeans and tshirts that you always wear now don't leave much to the imagination," Lex said. Pause. "Hey, Clark. What're you wearing now?"
"Lex, this is not that kind of call. I'm in the Torch office right now. Chloe could walk in at any moment."
"Chloe won't walk in because she's in class, like you're supposed to be, and this is definitely that type of call," Lex said. "Come on. What are you wearing?"
"I have a free period," Clark said, standing firm. "And no."
"Please?"
Clark weakened at that. It wasn't fair. Lex never said please, and hearing him say it now, low and purring and so very, very sexual... Totally cheating.
"Black jeans," he said, finally giving in. "The olive green tshirt."
"Could you two be any more gay?" Chloe said, coming into the Torch office with all the subtlety of a Mack truck. "Talking on the phone with your boyfriend about fashion, of all things."
Clark raised an eyebrow at her. "We weren't discussing fashion," he said calmly, and watched with amusement as confusion ran across her face.
"Then what did your clothes have to do with..." Understanding hit. "Oh!"
"Yeah, oh," he told her, and turned his attention back to Lex. "Hey, Chloe's here. I gotta go."
"I'll talk to you later?" Lex said, and Clark grinned.
"I'll swing by after school," he promised, and could almost picture Lex's shark-look of satisfaction.
"Good," Lex said. "I'll be waiting." And he hung up the phone.
Clark exhaled slowly, shaking his head to clear it of the force from that last line. When he was done he looked up to see Chloe looking at him and smirking.
"What are you grinning about?" he demanded, and she just shook her head and laughed.
"You, my friend, are so gone," she said with a smile still lurking. "Having phone sex in the Torch? Spending the night there last night?"
Once he would have blushed. Now he just grinned at her. "Yeah, but it was a really, really good night," he told her, and watched as the blush stained her cheeks. "Besides, I tried to tell him that it wasn't that kind of phone call. He just wouldn't listen to me."
"Because Lex is so good at being told no," Chloe said dryly. She grabbed his arm, finger's encircling his bicep in a surprisingly strong grip. "Come on, pretty boy. You owe me a coffee."
"For what?" he wanted to know, allowing himself to be dragged out of the room. "I didn't do anything to you."
"I'm surrounded by gay love, thanks to you," she said. "And I am straight and single. It's depressing. The very least you can do is get me coffee."
He laughed and followed her down the hall, but she stopped and turned to look at him. "You're really lucky, you know," she said, suddenly serious. "What you have with Lex? That's rare."
"I know," he said, and his agreement seemed to mollify whatever conflict was going on in that brain of hers at the moment, because she turned and went off down the hall again. He smiled after her and though, I am lucky. I'm just about the luckiest guy in the world.
Then he remembered his promise to stop by the mansion that afternoon, and grinned wickedly. Well, maybe second luckiest, he thought, then, realizing that he was being left behind, took off after Chloe.
Lex could wait, because he'd always be there. For now, there was coffee. And Chloe. And friendship.
And later, there would be love.