From the author - a not so brief introduction:
Greetings! To any of my regular readers who meander this way… Yes, I will be finishing up those other projects I'm working on (I have a couple of chapters that I haven't finished polishing up, but are other wise completed)… I just needed a break. Something gritty and dirty with lots of four letter words and some shoot em up action… to that end, this is not a part of that grand, epic Tunnel saga. Don't be surprised if I still have a little fun - but none of the usual characters are coming out to play here. This is just what it looks like it's going to be...
Ok, I shouldn't have to say this, but I'm going to anyway:Once Upon a Time in Mexicowas rated R. This is also rated R, and for pretty much the same reasons. If your sensibilities are offended by strong language and adult situations, I entreat you to look elsewhere.
That said, the usual disclaimers apply – I own only my characters and I mean no offence to the very talented Mr. Rodriguez by playing with his characters. So, sadly, I don't own even the tiniest parts of Sands. However, if Johnny ever wants to come over and play, I'll leave the key under the matt…
While I love constructive criticism – and have even been known to take it quite seriously, I'm going to borrow a line from another writer (forgive me for I don't recall who) and say that if you just plain hate it – if you find nothing redeemable at all in my work, and it's not even worth your time to make some suggestions for improvement, would you kindly just keep it to yourself? I get enough shit in real life. Writing is something I do for fun. So – if you spot a mistake – or something that could be better – please, please give a shout - I love feedback, especially when someone catches something I've missed. But if you hate it - just go read something else, because there is lots of OUaTiM fanfic that is really, really great.
Lastly… because this is based on a movie, I thought it might be fun to "cast" some of my main characters - the following list applies to the first few chapters, not just the prologue.I haven't cast the youngest children because it's hard enough casting the adults like this – so sorry, but you're going to have to imagine Johnny Depp at 10 for Sands at 10. Following each actor's name, I've given a quick reference or you can do a Google search - or just read on and skip all this nonesense, your choice. ;)
Alison Sands……………….Jorja Fox (CSI: Las Vegas)
Greta Sands……………….Swoosie Kurtz (many, many, many roles)
Holly Dawson………………Peta Wilson (La Femme Nikita – the tvseries)
Emma Dawson……………..Kay Panabaker (Summerland)
Beth McKinny (aka La Doctora) …………………………? I have her cast, but if Sands can't see her why should you be able to? Everyone else listedis someonehe knew before the Day of the Dead. (I'll let the cat out of its bag later on Beth, promise.)
Chet and his cronies…………………the gang of obnoxious kids from It fits the bill pretty well. I have no idea what their names are, it was just on Sci Fi a couple of nights ago when I was writing that part of the story. Any gang of pre-adolescent hooligans will work.
Milo Givens……………………………Robert Sean Leonard (House MD)
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There's a guy starting to realize that Eternal It's two a.m. Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone Soon you will come to know I'm falling down a spiral Well the night weighs heavy
Fate has turned its back on him. It's 2 a.m.
The fear has gone
I'm sitting here waitin'
The gun's still warm
Maybe my connection is tired of taking chances
Yeah there's a storm on the loose
Sirens in my head
Wrapped up in silence
All circuits are dead
Cannot decode My whole life spins into a frenzy
The place is a madhouse
Feels like being cloned
My beacon's been moved
Under moon and star
Where am I to go
Now that I've gone too far?
When the bullet hits the bone
Soon you will come to know
When the bullet hits the bone
Destination unknown
Double crossed messenger, all alone
Can't get no connection
Can't get through Where are you?
On his guilty mind
This far from the borderline
When the hit man comes
He knows damn well
He has been cheated And he says
Help I'm steppin' into the twilight zone
The place is a madhouse
Feels like being cloned
My beacon's been moved
Under moon and star
Where am I to go
Now that I've gone too far?
Prologue:
La Dia De Los Muertos
To die, I once read, would be a very big adventure. Bet you never woulda guessed that li'l ol' yours truly had ever read a children's book in his whole freaky, fucking messed up life,would you? Can't even imagine me as a kid, can you? Don't worry, I can't really imagine me as a kid either. I'm not real sure, but I think I hated kids even when I was one… of course I'm not what you'd exactly call a people person.
It's strange the things that go through a man's head when he's sure he's about to die. I count the bullets as they hit – and miss. Most of the misses are mine. Most of the hits are theirs. One in each thigh – I thinksomething hot and nastypierces my side. My arm is still throbbing from earlier… and we're just not going to discuss the rest of it right now. If you've been with me from the start of this sordid tale, you already know what the cartel did to me, so it would be old hat anyway.
I'm still trying to piece together what went wrong. Cucuy sold me out. Ok, I can live with that. Ajedrez… I really can't live with that. I wonder if she had me pegged from the beginning or if it was just my dumb luck to fall into bed with Barillo's daughter. I may never know for sure... hmm.
A woman I knew and might have loved (we fucked for a whole summer, anyway) – she once told me that I had such rotten luck, I must have pissed off a gypsy in a past life. She believes in all that crap about past lives and Karma. No wonder she got out of my life as soon as… she did…
For half a second, I'm back there – that summer. I smell fresh mountain air instead of gunpowder and smoke. I'm laying with my back up against a tree, watching the sun set over the mountains behind the lake, listening to some kind of bird hoot or something off in the distance. Never was a nature lover. Leave it to Holly to pick a spot like this. Damn. I haven't thought of that summer the last time I checked my P.O. box in Sant Fe – about – hmmm – three years ago, just before they shipped my sorry ass down here. Guess I should have asked someone to forward my mail. Oopsie.
I hear footsteps – boots on cobblestone. I lay still.
Through the burning gunpowder, I catch a whiff of some very familiar perfume… it's sweet. Cloying. Ajedrez. I never did like that shit she wears.
She kneels down next to me - puts the sunglasses back on my face.
She tells me to get up.
My name is Sheldon Jeffrey Sands, says a voice in my head. My voice.
I work for the Central Intelligence Agency.
I throw shapes. They catch them.
I set them up.
I watch them fall.
Only as of an hour ago, I'm never going to be able to 'watch' another thing as long as I live.
And I never even saw it coming…
"See anything you like?" Shetaunts, as her lips brush up against mine… she tastes as sweet as the day we met, but all I want to do is hurl.
This timeshe's the one whodoesn't see it coming. I pull the trigger and feel her blood hot and warm soaking into my shirt. In my mind's eye, I clearly see the look of shock on her pretty face. It makes me smile.
"No," I reply to her asanine question, as I dislodge my fake arm.
A great satisfaction settles over me as I hear her bodyhit the ancient cobblestones.
I let myself fall.
It's over. Ajedrez is dead. I'm pretty sure Barillo is dead – or at least that he will be soon. I hope that twisted fuck Guereza is dead. I think it's time for me to join them all in Hell and get this party started!
Yeah, to die would be an awfully big adventure indeed… hail, hail, the gang's all here…
Except - except that when your world is already so dark, it's impossible to tell if you're dead or alive... hmmmm...
And then I hear a familiar sound… a bicycle bell…
Yeah. If it wasn't for bad luck, I'd have no luck at all.
I'm alive.