Disclaimer: Do you really think I own this? All I have is an empty purse with a few stray pesos and centavos.
Dedication: Inconnu…I finally found a version I somewhat like! Thanks for the support. Oh, and Daylight Savings time is NOT your fault! Lol!
Okay, this got to be RATHER lengthy, but here it is! This sequelish side-fic to The Game of Life covers Yamato's point of view from chapters 13-15. It takes place immediately following the conclusion of GOL. Seeing as I'm telling the same story, I tried my absolute best to repeat AS LITTLE as possible. And I think I did a pretty good job of it…there are only a few repeated sections, but they all have different narration, all from Yamato's character. Well, I hope you guys enjoy this. I put a very large deal of work into this; what you all are reading is version 4 of things (versions 1-3 didn't live up to my standards), and I really hope you like this. Don't forget to review when you…finally…get to the end! Now, onto the fic…
Life's Little Games
by theladyknight
Obviously, when you're gone from earth for three months, you're going to miss a lot. I resided in a little bubble with four other men. We had very few changes of clothes, cramped living spaces and food that was reminiscent of my high school cafeteria days. Our connection to earth was limited, causing us to be pretty far behind on gossip and current issues. My family, my beautiful three-year old and equally beautiful—pregnant—wife were on my mind constantly.
There are some absolutely cool things up in space, the kind of things that are like once-in-a-lifetime for the people who get to witness them. But all of us were plagued by that homesick feeling. You know how it goes; it starts out small, but in the end, you end up craving being home. Your every want and desire stretch to the things you miss more than anything. The flight home and the decent back to earth were some of the most anxious times in my life.
I'll miss space; there's no question. It's was like an out of body experience just to see the things I saw and all the remarkable aspects we're just not used to. But it's so incredibly refreshing to be home. Unfortunately, going home to my apartment had to wait. My friends and family threw together a party for my homecoming, and while it's always a good thing to know they somewhat missed me, I just want to feel the sensation of being home.
But now, back on earth for probably eight hours at the most, I realized there's one thing I definitely did not miss and would like to go back to the three months where I lived peacefully without it.
"So, we were up in our dorm room." Taichi was getting completely into the story. His facial features were alive and buzzing, hands gesturing wildly in time with his narration. "Yamato decides he wants to try out his physics project right there and then. He takes a bunch of different items: a potato, pencil, water balloon and some paper, and decides to drop them out the window, all at the same time and prove some point or other. Don't ask me what its purpose was. I couldn't even tell you a second after he told me. He lines up the experiment and then after a brief countdown, they drop. I don't remember how it happened or if he proved his point. All I know is that the entire cheerleading squad was walking right underneath our window outside, and they screamed louder than a legion of banshees."
The circle of people around us began to chortle as Tai told another story with me being the butt of the joke. It was always the opposite in high school and college. We'd tell the stories about him. But now, here he is, telling every story he can think of regarding something I did. I'd fire back at him because, truthfully, for every one of my screw-ups, there are three of his. But I'm too nice of a person to do that. Yeah that's it; I'm too nice…
So, sitting here with my closest friends and family, I came to a very smart conclusion.
The first open house on the moon is mine. I'm taking Sora and Aiko and whisking them up there. Taichi can come for a visit once or twice a year. That's all the more we need to see of him, right?
As if she knew my thoughts, my wife glared at me. "Don't worry, Yama. You'll be rested up and retaliating against Taichi in no time. He'll regret passing on these stories." She leaned against my shoulder, snuggling her head against mine as I took in her scent.
Now I remember why I missed earth so much.
Sora and I sat there enjoying each others' presence, nearly forgetting the conversation around us. I was so comfortable there that I almost fell asleep. Jet lag was starting to get to me, and I knew I'd be out the minute my head hit my pillow. It'll be great to be back in my own bed too. But before I could catch a few winks, a new voice entered the conversation, stopping my euphoria before it could happen.
"Yamato, I was quite happy when I heard they offered you a chance to go into space," our former teacher smiled at me. "I turned on the news the day of your launch and had all of my Child Development classes watching it. They were impressed to learn you were a former student and that your career was the same as the one you received in class. Actually, I was quite shocked when a lot of your careers rivaled those you picked during the Game."
I had never really thought about that before, with the exception of Sora's career and my own. Apparently that Game had some effect on us.
"Is the Game still run the way it was when you started it?" Koushiro wanted to know.
Ms. Greene, rather Mrs. Honda as Sora explained before I gave Taichi another reason to make a joke about me, shook her head. "Things have changed a bit. The focus is more on balancing a career, family and finances. We still play games, but nowhere near as many as you guys got to. It's funny, over the past twelve years I've taught so many classes, as Child Development got to be very popular, but I think your class has been my favorite by a landslide."
"Well of course it was," Tai preached like a television evangelist. "I was in the class."
"I don't quite think that's the reason, Tai," she immediately responded. "But your class seemed to put so much effort and excitement into everything I offered. The other classes haven't attacked things quite like you have. No one has been as creative as your group has. No one told his spouse she could paint the house any color, and he may perhaps haunt her in the future."
Gwen laughed. "Damn, what a boring class."
"And no one…professed his or her love in a will since your class." Her golden brown eyes twinkled in delight after her somewhat cheeky comment, orbs landing on my wife and me.
Kari picked up Sora's grade report and began to skim it. "You know, it was like the two of you were talking in code. We all knew something was up between you guys, but you wouldn't tell us what it was, exactly."
Mimi's eyes sprung to life. "It's been over ten years since it happened. Don't you think it's time to tell someone? We've all been dying to know, and we'll probably keep pestering you guys till you tell us."
"How mature," Sora's head rested against my shoulder. "She thought you got me pregnant, Yama."
My eyebrows scrunched up, half in amusement and half in disbelief. "That was far from the truth. And we've already told one person what happened. He knew from the start."
"It was you! You knew all along but were just acting dumb to fool us!" Mimi gasped, pointing a shaky finger in Tai's direction.
"I might not have always done intelligent things—not that you did either—but neither of them told me…their best friend."
"You have a big mouth," I sarcastically whispered. Sora gave me a reproachful look, but her smile still shone through.
Koushiro cleared his throat, grabbing our attention. "Well, it most definitely was not me. There's only one logical choice."
"Takeru," Gwen sweetly asked, "why didn't you tell us?"
"They made me swear not to,"
"Um…you do recall our conversation back then, right honey? If my memory is correct, you swore you didn't know a thing."
"Yamato and Sora would've beaten me up!"
"But you failed to think what your girlfriend and friends would do twelve years later when they found out!" Hikari menacingly held up her purse, followed by Mimi. Taichi snatched Gwen's from her hands, aiming it for my brother's head.
In the process of the—teenage-like—interrogation, Sora and I had each taken seats, lounging back to enjoy the show. It was quite a comical sight before us, the women ready for a cat fight and Tai, holding a hot pink purse with a black "G" on it. Seems like something from high school.
Our scene had gone unnoticed to the rest of the party. People would occasionally wave a hand in my direction, signaling their exit as the sun was beginning to fade, ushering in the moon's glow.
Holding his hands above his head, Takeru prepared for the assault. "Why don't you ask them to tell the story now? Wouldn't it be better to get it straight from them? I only know bits and pieces."
The attention returned to us once more. I'm surprised it took them that long to figure out the simplest answer wasn't my brother. "Well?" Ms. Greene, rather Mrs. Honda, who'd been silent up until now, finally brought up the topic everyone wanted to know.
"I don't care," I knew the truth would have to come out eventually. Besides, I'd rather tell them now then be pestered for the next few months. Some of their childish traits remained in our adult years. "What do you say, koi?"
I received no answer. Looking down, it was obvious why. Sora was fast asleep, head resting peacefully on my shoulder. Pregnancy must wipe a lot out of a woman. Just one glance at her made me realize how much I missed, being up in space for the past three months.
"Sora votes yes, Yamato. Remember, she always agrees and sides with you!" Tai exclaimed, more enthusiastic than normal at the prospect of hearing "the story".
You should see our house life, Taichi. I have a feeling you would retract that statement in a heartbeat. "Come on, Yama. Takeru's an aspiring writer and he's never blabbed. You can trust us. We won't tell." The younger Yagami still has a bit more tact than her brother.
"So, what happened between you and Sora during the final days of The Game?" The question rung through the air as everyone locked their eyes with mine.
"You really want to know?" It was meant as a rhetorical statement—not that it was greeted as one. Their pleas sounded like a broken record or, for lack of better simile, Taichi's singing. "Fine. This is what happened…"
"Taichi, have you become one of my stalker fans because you're starting to act like one."
"Why do you say that?" He was grinning like the Cheshire cat as he followed me out of Child Development at an alarmingly close pace.
I simply gave him a look, a look Sora sometimes compared to that of a burning time bomb, ready to explode at any moment. His expression, rather than dampening at the look like usual, grew even larger.
"Well, I heard from Mimi who heard from Koushiro who heard from Gwen who heard from Danielle who heard from Tony…"
"Are you trying to confuse me? Because if so, you have succeeded without a doubt." Tai's been my best friend for ages and is a really cool guy, but at times he can be insanely obnoxious.
"…that you," he rambled on like there had been no interruption, "and Sora were looking rather close in class, like something big happened between the two of you." Tai was waiting for my answer to confirm the rumor, but I wisely kept my mouth shut. "So, how'd you finally ask her out?" This was his idea of prodding; trying to goad me until I gave him the answer he was looking for.
I've never liked rumors and gossip in the first place. Being in a moderately successful rock band has placed me at the top of the rumor mill and usually one of the first to find things out. I'm normally not too bothered by the rumors; they're hardly ever vicious when I'm involved in them. It sounds a bit conceited to say—and I'm not trying to come off that way—but the girls love me. If someone starts a rumor about me that happens to be particularly nasty, the crazier of the already annoying fangirls makes he or she wish to never have thought of it. I want to keep Sora and our possible relationship out of the daily school bulletin.
"Who says I asked Sora out?"
He stopped walking, causing me to barrel straight into him, almost dropping my physics book in the process. People behind us slammed into me as well. The girls who did all shot me flirtatious winks and smiles.
That's one of the things I'm not going to miss about school. Most people here know me as Yamato Ishida—lead singer and bass guitarist of The Teen-Age Wolves; popular, good-looking and normally nice guy. But, at the same time, I'm a huge enigma. I've had the same friends since I was little, never ditching them for the supposed "popular" and "bad boy" groups I've been offered places in.
I stick to myself a lot of the time, bottling up my fears, emotions and desires together. It's hard for me to let people in. My parents' divorce when I was younger bothers me even to this day, though not in the same way it did when I was younger. Those who don't know me, the ones who "worship" and "follow" the image they think I am don't understand. They don't realize I want a girl not because of her looks and popularity. They don't know the band and I are en route to planning our goodbye concert; music—at least band wise—is not in any of our futures. They don't know that I want friends and a girlfriend who appreciate me for me. They don't know the girl I want has been there through thick and thin with me.
It's funny how it took me such a long time to come to terms with my feelings for Sora. Up until this game, I'd never thought about her as anything more than a friend. Okay, maybe I thought about her as a potential girlfriend a couple of times, but ever since this crazy game took control of our lives, things have changed.
I can't explain how I felt when I picked her name. Relief appeared—as I had gotten a girl I knew and liked—but something, a stronger, more powerful emotion invaded my heart and mind. Over the course of things, I've realized this emotion. Simply put, I was falling for her. I thought there had to be some rule against wanting your best friend to be your girlfriend. The feelings continued to plague my soul until I realized that I'm fairly sure I love her.
Love is not a word I use freely, either. My parents' failed relationship gave me a cynical perspective on love. What is love, really? I mean, you can look up a definition in a dictionary, but isn't that meaning just one person's thoughts? How can one person define millions of interpretations of one word into one compact little phrase?
Holding a steady relationship, for these reasons and a few others, is not always an easy thing for me. I've dated in the past but nothing has gone past a few months. Some people call me commitment-phobic, others say I'm a player, but no one really understands this about me. I want to be positive on my feelings before I dive headfirst into the unknown. I call myself a realist. Sure, taking a chance is always something good—I'll be the first to admit it—but I'm rather protective of my emotions. But now I think I'm ready to take that leap of faith for Sora.
She's oblivious to how much her friendship means to me. She's the only person I know who can read me like a page-turning novel, picking up and never missing a single detail in the process. She sees me for the face behind the music and mask. I'm not just Yamato Ishida the "rock star". I'm a regular old guy, occasional dumb ass and jerk but true friend who couldn't keep myself from falling in love with her.
Since the beginning of the Game, I've been gathering up the courage to ask her out. Trust me; it's not always easy for a guy to ask the girl out, specifically when she's a very close friend.
But Sora got to me first.
"You…she...you mean? Sora asked you out? Jeez, Yama…couldn't do it yourself?"
I smirked at him, continuing to walk to class so we wouldn't be late. Our teacher loves to spring pop quizzes on us at times we least expect it. Days when people were late usually had these types of gifts. "Did I say that? Did I say yes to any of your assumptions, Taichi?"
Tai's dumbfounded look continued to grow as we approached the door. Sora was standing outside the room, impatiently tapping her foot. A radiant smile dominated her features, and I hoped it was a result of our discussion not that long ago.
"Where'd you disappear to after class?" I asked as Tai still hadn't regained the use of his mouth. He was, apparently, trying to take in everything I said but still thoroughly confused as I never gave him a straight answer or any answer, for that matter.
"I had to grab a book, and Mimi cornered me."
"Go figure. Let's go in."
"What's up with him?" she whispered, pointing to Taichi over her shoulder.
I shrugged. "He's just his normal, confused self."
Her smile showed she understood what I meant perfectly. "So…did something happen between the two of you? I'm really confused…"
Nerves don't affect me much anymore. I have played so many concerts for increasingly large crowds, and I learned that nerves just don't get to me. If there's something I need to do, I may as well just do it instead of worrying about the what-ifs.
That philosophy tends to stay with me during the things I do. I don't get nervous before tests or introductions to new people. It's just the way things go with me. Everything happens for a reason, so I let whatever comes my way come crashing in.
But apparently my outlook on this seems to have hit a rock or a bump in the road because the only thing I can think of to describe what I'm feeling right now is nervousness. I'm trying to tell myself not to be like this. It's Sora…she's my best friend. Why should things be weird or different between us just because we're trying to up our relationship?
Ever since our date started off, I've been feeling so uncharacteristic of myself. I'm self-conscious of the things I say and the way I act. Sure, I'm coming across as cool and calm, but my heart is on overdrive on the inside. It's like a million butterflies are riding around on a roller coaster inside my stomach and there are an equal number of steep hills and plummeting dismounts as riders.
I'm not the only one who's off, though. Sora doesn't seem to be in her normal persona either. Things just seemed to be happening to her, like when I went to pick her up. Megumi was wailing incessantly, and Sora hit her leg against the table, causing a large bloody gash to form on her leg.
Maybe it's just predate jitters. She seemed calm by the time we arrived at the restaurant. It was one of the nicer places in town but not so nice that it requires formalwear and a very large checkbook to dine there. But the maître d' wouldn't let us in. It wasn't because of our attire or because we had no reservations.
It was because of the "children" with us.
Sora and I each tried to explain that they were only dolls, nonliving devices sent to achieve what seems to be their one goal—torturing us. But he countered with the rules. No children, be they real or fake, are allowed inside the dining quarters.
I could live with his thing. I mean, if they bent the rules for a pair of people, others would complain. Then they'd have to alter the standards completely, but other people would get mad. It's just the way things happen. But Sora suddenly grew defensive and began arguing against the guy.
She's usually the calm, reasonable one. I'm the brash person who'll do things like that without thinking first. I could see where she was coming from, but rules are the rules. In this case, I'm not going to challenge them. If I were the waiter, I wouldn't let us in either.
Sora's been jumpy all day, the more I think about it. At school, she nearly drug me through the halls in an attempt to get away from our friends' teasings about us going out. I was kind of surprised by her behavior then, and I still am right now.
I can understand being irritated and short-tempered with our friends. Ever since they verified that Sora and I are going out, they've been making all sorts of cracks and jokes at our expense. None of them are offensive or anything; they're mostly just embarrassing. But when Taichi penned the name "date with your soul mate", I think the two of us got a bit freaked out.
It's like everyone expects us to be the "perfect couple". But how exactly does that work? From what I know, Sora and I aren't a couple. Yet. They're just putting all this pressure on us that makes me think Sora assumes we have to be the perfect couple like they're applying. It's a lot to think about and comprehend.
I don't have any wish to be considered that phrase. No one's perfect in any aspect and their insinuations kind of scare me. It makes me think they believe Sora and I are going to rush into things, act all "couplish" and put on some big, lucid show of our relationship. That idea just bugs me in general.
Maybe I'm the one obsessing over it, not Sora.
But the bottom line is that something isn't right with the way either of are acting tonight. And I'm going to try to fix that…
"Sora, you've hardly touched your sushi. Now, I know it's nowhere near as good as mine, but…"
She grinned up at me. Her smile, as dazzling as it was, still wasn't the normal game-winning illumination I normally associate with her. "You're right, Yama. It's better than your sushi."
"Ooh that hurt." We were in my car, driving to our next destination. As the whole restaurant plan didn't go as scheduled, I suggested a nice calming meal of sushi that we could take somewhere to eat. Later, we could just hang out and talk to each other.
Had the radio not been on, silence would have filled the car once more. We hadn't said much to each other, starting immediately after the restaurant fiasco. Normally, whenever we go anywhere together, we can't shut up. We've been kicked out of the movies before they started because people were complaining we were too loud.
But now, it's starting to get awkward and making me get nervous. Why are thing happening like this?
"So, why are we going to the park, Yamato? The sushi place had a perfectly good place for us to eat at."
Her sweet voice poised the innocent question and probable conversation starter. "I want us to go somewhere normal and not so crazy."
"I'm sorry for wigging out like that back there. I don't know what came over me."
"It's probably the same thing that's making things between us really awkward right now," I answered before I could stop myself.
Her expression was a bit startled, like she didn't expect me to say that. "That's an understatement."
"Are we so out of our normal character because of the things Tai and the others were saying before? Could we be letting that get to us?"
Sora bit her lip in concentration. "That whole "date with your soul mate" thing was really starting to bug me." So I'm not the only one. The more I hear that incredibly dumb phrase, the more it irks me. When Taichi first said it, I kind of just punched him lightly on the shoulder, thinking it was just a one-time teasing bit. But as it stuck and he said it more, my punches started getting a little bit harder. I don't like the idea of someone telling me I'm destined to be with someone or do something. I need some hard proof or at least some plausible evidence. I guess it's the realist in me speaking.
"Me too. Why don't we just forget about everything they said to us today? We'll focus on something completely different." I parked my car in one of the lots. "We've got plenty of other things to talk about other than our friends' weird perceptions. And besides, if nothing else, we're at least better off than Taichi."
Sora let out a laugh, stepping out of the car and accepting my outstretched hand, sushi box and Megumi's carrier in the other hand. I held Ryo and our drinks. "I can't believe Mimi hasn't noticed. She usually doesn't miss those kinds of things."
"It's probably better for Tai that she hasn't noticed. I can imagine her teasing him to no end."
We walked together, both feeling a lot more comfortable. Now this is the kind of date I expected. "That's true. But let's not talk about them or any of the others. Let's focus on something else."
"I like that idea," We were still quite away from the tree we always hang out by. "So, have you decided which college you're going to be attending? Your dad said you got into a lot of the ones you applied to. Will you be gracing Tai and me with your lovely presence?"
I love making her blush with the little things I say. She's easy to embarrass and flatter, and I never get tired of seeing her face warm up. "Actually, yeah. I have. But I don't know if you guys will like it."
"No co-ed dorms?" She burst into laughter again, giggling lightly at first before loosing herself to the laughter. "What?"
"You are a dork." Her expression darkened, growing from light and carefree to somber. "Actually, I'm going to be attending…Kyoto during the next term. I've visited Dad there a couple of times when he was teaching, and there's just something about the campus that attracted me. Plus, I've talked to some of their art teachers, and I really think I can get a good education there." Her eyes met mine as she stopped walking, halting me where I stood. "You're not…mad, are you?"
"Why would I be mad about something like that?" Apparently my words, though completely sincere, didn't convince her. I was disappointed as hell, sure. I'd be the first to admit it. But I only wanted what's best for her. "Sora, you deserve to go somewhere that's going to give you the best. You've worked hard during high school while Tai and I have kind of sat back. I'll admit, it would be nice to have the three of us all together, and I'm sure going to miss you, but I want what's best for you."
"That was really sweet,"
It was my turn to laugh. "Yeah, that was kind of sweet. Just don't expect that kind of sappy crap from me again."
"I wouldn't want to expect that kind of thing from you." We had continued walking, taking the dirt path to our usual hangout. The park wasn't very occupied, and I hadn't expected it to be. That's the kind of setting we need. With the exception of the occasional bikers and walkers, we were alone.
Not that that's a bad thing at all.
"So what about you, blondie."
"Blondie?"
"Blondie. I assume from your last statement you're going to Tokyo University?" A simple shake of my head answered her question. "What are you going to study? Or do you know yet?"
I grinned at her as we approached the tree. Both of us set the two dolls down before plopping down on the earth next to them. I leaned back against the tree, shoulder brushing up against the redhead's next to me. She opened up the box and pulled out the delicious looking food. "Really, I'm not too sure. I was set on something like business and management for awhile. But after we got sucked into the Game, I kind of changed my mind."
"I know how you feel," she admitted, taking a bite out of her selection. "Art was always something I considered, and after meeting with Ayami, I think it's something I want to pursue."
We ate in a comfortable stillness, content with our conversation and each other. "I don't know if I really want to be an astronaut. That might be too much for me. Going up to space and everything would be cool, but I don't know if that's how I want to make my living. I'd rather work behind the scenes, figuring everything out."
"I know what you…"
I don't know what's wrong with kids these days."
"I bet their parents nearly died when they found out she was pregnant."
"Two kids! There's no way they can afford to take care of them."
I hadn't heard anything like that yet today, but it appeared Sora had. She was starting to get a look in her eye, a look that rivaled the one she had when talking to the maître d'. I could understand her anger right here. Some people jump to conclusions at the smallest of things without thinking about the other possibilities.
The two women, both in their mid-thirties, were throwing disgusted looks in our direction. Their comments kept up, this time a bit more quiet, but we could still hear bits and pieces of them. Apparently ignoring them will not make them go away. "They're freaking dolls! They're not our actual children."
"Excuse me," The two women stopped in their tracks, both turning to face us. Sora's outburst had caught their attention, and it was clear they were now peeved at her blunt comment.
"What she means to say is that they are dolls for a class we are taking at school. We have to take them with us. They aren't real nor are they our children." I attempted to rectify the situation before they attacked us or Sora got to them. Truthfully, they deserved a sort of telling off like she gave them, but my mother instilled upon me a set of good manners I used most of the time. I figured this better be one of them.
My eyes met one of the ladies', and I could tell, while still not happy, she was satisfied with my answer. "Well, thank goodness."
With that said, she and her companion turned to leave. Her friend, who had been silent during the conversation with Sora and me, whispered a comment that I heard plain as day.
"They're still probably sexually active or something. Teenagers these days don't understand commitment."
While I had been fairly cool up until now, that comment changed my attitude. First, it's just downright rude to say what they first said. Those two women don't even know us. And even if they did, it's just something you don't say to someone. But while the first comment disgusted me, the second brought to surface something I tried to push out of my mind.
If the whole "soul mate" shit wasn't bad enough, this reminds me why I've always held out a fear regarding commitment and relationships. I don't want to feel like I'm obligated to be in this deep commitment with someone right away from the start. Dating is like this long searching period. Things go slowly at first in order for you to figure out if you want to try for a long-term type of thing. I'm cool with the whole committal thing if a relationship progresses to a point beyond casual dating and the early stages of girlfriend/boyfriend. Add that all in to the crap my parents went through and the side effects I felt from that and…well, I'd say I have a justified reason to be a bit fearful of commitment. I don't want to have to think about that this early with Sora when we're not sure where we stand. Even if we do get together and something comes from that, I don't want us to be in a heavy and fast-paced relationship from the start. We need to take our time otherwise something bad will happen.
I could see her studying me. While she has the ability to read my every expression and emotion, I sadly haven't mastered that trait in her. From what I could detect, she was a bit restless and uneasy, perhaps trying to decipher everything I was feeling.
"I'm sorry for being such a bitch today." It came out of nowhere, but it wasn't the first time I had heard it tonight.
I chewed on the last piece of my sushi, contemplating what to say. "I'll admit, I wasn't expecting you to act like this today, but we all have our off days, right?" This subject and the whole topic of us was really causing some tension and discomfort between us. Maybe I can gently steer us away from the topic.
"I wanted tonight to be special…something different than normal."
"Well it is, isn't it?" She and I were here together, finally trying to build a foundation for something that's been brewing longer than either of us realized.
Sora had a faraway look in her eye, like she was really wishing things would have been different. "With the way I've been acting, I don't think so."
I didn't know how to respond to that. On one hand, I could answer her statement with what I'm thinking, unsuccessfully managing to change our topic of conversation. Or I could just tell her it's okay, which probably won't go over well. I will never, try as I might, understand women. And I really don't want to do something brash and stupid.
Raking my hands through my hair, I heard the comments of more joggers. All of them reflected the sentiments of the women before. Sora seemed to be suffering the same internal struggle I was. The expression on my face must have alerted Sora to that as she began to bite on her fingernails, something she only does when she's nervous.
"They're not real. Just dolls for a class at school." Her reply this time came out calmly, the way I had expected every other explanation to be. She was slowly regaining that control she normally had.
"See, now there's the normal, Sora. You know how to keep yourself grounded and not let your temper overwhelm you. That's one of the reasons I love you…"
Oh gods, what did I just do? Tell me I didn't do what I just think I did…
"What…what did you say?"
My throat became dry, and millions of unformed, unintelligible things formed in my mouth. I said the only thing I could get out, "I…I didn't say anything."
Her eyes were full of a foreign emotion, one I couldn't detect. I slowly started backing away from her. Why did I put my foot in my mouth? Why did I tell her I love her? "Yes, you did. You…you just said that you love me."
"No I didn't!" I had completely lost it. My gut was telling me I was being a stubborn jack ass, stupid for denying what we both know I said. But my brain was shouting at me to deny it and flee. I can't let myself get deeper into things than I already am. I love you on the first date is way, way, way too soon. "I don't love you…I…I don't."
She tried coming closer to me, which resulted in me backing up further. I am an idiot. How could I let that slip without thinking about the possibilities? What would she expect from me now that she knows I love her? Would we be forced to be in some strongly committed relationship? Would everyone expect us to be the perfect "it" couple? I can't take this. I can't stay here. "Yamato, you're just freaked out by…"
Nothing she said could keep me here.
"I have to go." My brain urged my feet to stand up and my arms to grab Ryo. I darted out of the park area we were sitting in. My heart had teamed up with my gut, yelling at me to go back to her, to apologize, to try and fix the largest mistake I had ever made in my life. I'm sorry, Sora…
"Yamato!" She wouldn't give up. I had reached the car, but I could still hear her voice echoing through the trees. "Yamato? Come back." Regretfully and unsure if I was making the right choice, I followed my brain, getting into the car and driving off as fast as I could put the car in drive.
So much for not making a stupid mistake…
Sleep eluded me. There's no other way to describe it. I tried counting sheep, thinking of the most boring things I could—Koushiro's computer lectures, Mimi's manicures, Taichi's soccer buddies—and holding a staring contest with the ceiling. But nothing worked.
Finally, knowing that nothing I could do would put me to sleep, I sat up in bed, turning the lights back on. There was enough darkness and regret in my heart. I didn't need anymore.
Looking at the clock, I knew I would have a long, endless night before me. It was only ten, and I knew I wouldn't find the dreamless sleep I was longing to take over me. If anything, it would be filled with a slow-motion play-by-play of everything I had just done.
Part of me was screaming to turn around, face Sora like a man and live up to everything that I said. The truth was out and as much as I wanted to, I couldn't change the past. I've always believed things happened for a reason. That's the choice I should have made.
But an overwhelming fear captured my brain and controlled my actions like a puppeteer maneuvering his marionette to do his every whim and desire. Saying I love you left me with a complicated situation. I knew Sora liked me. She wouldn't have asked me out if there wasn't some sort of interest there. But love? I couldn't tell. She could have reacted in a million different ways, and there were some I didn't want to think about.
Now, though, after running like a dog with his tail between his legs, ashamed and abashed, tortured and uncertain, I may have done more harm than good. Where does this leave our relationship? How is our friendship going to be affected? How can I gather up the strength to face her?
I knew I should call her and attempt to make things right. She might be home by now as I left her in the park with Megumi and no transportation. I've done some dumb things before, but this takes the cake by far. Will she even give me a chance to redeem myself? How do I redeem myself?
This is going to be a long night…
The pounding on the apartment door thudded in my ears, but I continued to ignore it. It was now early Saturday morning, and I had wandered to the living room couch, digging my way through the rubble and junk to sit and stare at the television screen. My eyes had become glossy, but I hadn't been paying any attention to what was on. I didn't even know if it was real or fictional. But it was the least of my concerns.
"Yamato Ishida, I know you're in there! Open up! Sora won't talk to us about your date, so you'd better spill!"
Mimi's voice was angry, and it was obvious she wasn't used to being ignored. "Ishida," Tai had begun to speak now, "don't make me break this door down."
Koushiro was a bit more reasonable, but he still had the same message. "We can't get a hold of you by phone, so I assume you've kept it off the hook. We just want to talk to you. Why are you and Sora making yourselves unreachable?"
"Ugh! This is getting us absolutely nowhere, guys."
"I'd ask Takeru to let us in, but he said he was going to be busy all weekend and out of town." I heard Hikari answer Gwen's question and a confused look overtook the other emotions plaguing my face. I didn't know Takeru had other plans today. He had told me just yesterday that his weekend was free.
"Fine, be stubborn, Yamato! But we will get the answer out of you very soon…"
Saturday passed to Sunday without much action. Dad was away visiting his brother and wouldn't be back until tonight at the earliest. Normally, this kind of thing bothers me a bit. But today, still not recovered from the events of Friday night, I'm very okay with it.
After the divorce, I found the most comfort and understanding in solitude. It's weird. Most people need to be around others after something bad happens, like if there's a death of someone close to them. I'm the opposite. If something like that happens, I'll seek refuge in myself.
I need the time to myself to come to terms with what has happened. Usually time alone offers me the chance to think through things and come to a conclusion why something happens, ultimately deciding what I'm going to do in response. Unfortunately, among all this time I've had to mull to myself over possible scenarios with Sora and a way to make things up to her, I've hit rock bottom.
Over the past day, I had alternated my activities a bit. I was sleep deprived, there was no question. My appearance clearly bore those scars. I was in search of a new activity, something to take the place of thinking.
Most people would automatically assume I would pull out my guitar and strum away my sadness and grief with melancholic melodies. But in situations like these, music is the last thing I turn to.
I need a positive, selfless reason to play it. With the band, it's easy. We all love music and performing it so others can share in the wonders it brings. But using it to wallow in my own self-pity and problems almost seems a waste of music's properties.
So, knowing this, I long ago discovered something I should be doing now, something that takes all my focus and concentration…
Some people might call it girly. Others would laugh. Some would wonder if I'm on drugs. But I don't care.
When something like this happens, I turn to this option, digging the, regrettably, pink bargain-bin apron out of our closet. Cooking gives me the perfect—temporary—escape from the woes of the world. And it gives Dad something good to eat when he's stuck at the office on overtime. And Taichi and the others are known to make frequent pit stops at my apartment for the free food.
Cooking is like life to me. You're handed a recipe, a set of directions to follow. Like in life, things happen whether they be good or bad from following these rules. Cooking gives me the opportunity—because I can claim credible skills—to see how things are if everything is set in stone and turns out right. But then, should some confectionary delight or delicious main dish crash and burn, I know I've hit a bump in the road and have to find a way to fix it. And experimenting by throwing a bunch of different ingredients together gives a strong taste of life's unpredictability.
Maybe I should have gotten cook rather than Mimi…
"From the fact this place smells nicer than a bakery, I'm going to assume things weren't all rainbows and butterflies with you and Sora, big brother."
"Remind me to ask Dad to take your key away. And, yes, I think it's safe to assume that."
"Well, are you going to tell me what happened?"
I pulled a pan of almond cookies out of our oven, and Takeru somehow found an unoccupied place—not filled with some type of food—to sit down. "Not by my own will. Would you like something to eat? I've got plenty of things here for you to taste test. A couple of new recipes, even."
"I hope that means you have things figured out. It usually does, when you get to the whole new recipe thing." He sniffed around. "Is that miso soup I smell?"
"One hot bowl coming right up. And no, I'm no closer to figuring out what I'm going to do than I was when I started cooking earlier this morning."
He was silent as I busied myself with the task of getting him some soup. "I know you like your solitude, Yamato, but I have a very strong feeling this is one of those few times you need to talk to someone"
"What gives you that idea?"
"It's been two days since your, apparently, failed date with Sora. You—and Sora as well because she seems to have made herself unreachable—are hiding out and still here contemplating things. That must mean…did one of you do something stupid?"
I sighed, taking a seat opposite him as I placed his soup down. "You could say that."
Nearly an hour later, after my own berating as well as my younger brother's, the story had been told and the damage played all over. "So…what are you going to do about it?"
"I was hoping you could help," I truthfully answered. He was right. Telling someone about the foolish mistake I made did feel better than keeping it closed it.
But just this one time.
"I've got nothing. Sorry, bro, but I have no idea how I'd react if I said something like that to a girl."
"You're the smart one of us, though. You wouldn't do that."
He lightly chuckled. "You never know. But I'd better get going…"
"Takeru, thanks for listening."
"It's no problem, Yama. That's what brothers were made for…well, that or beating each other up…"
"…which is exactly what I'm going to do if you tell anyone about our conversation. And I have a feeling Sora won't mind putting a few beatings in too."
Running a—shaking—hand through his blond locks, Takeru's grin faltered a bit. "Why did I have a feeling you would say that? Don't worry bro. Your secret's safe with me. Good luck with things; maybe the answer will come in a way you least expect it to…"
"Taichi, I think you'll be our next…victim…as no one will volunteer."
That answer did come to me in the most unlikely of ways. I should have known something like this would happen, though. This mistake appeared as a result of the Game, and it seems only right that it should be fixed as a result of the Game.
A fire lit inside me when Ms. Greene announced we would be writing wills and reading them out loud to the class. I wasn't too crazy about the later part of our final grade, but I could live with that if it meant finding a way to apologize to Sora.
I've always been good at putting things into words, though it didn't take me long to realize this wasn't entirely like writing song lyrics. People would be surprised to learn you can't write a song in mere minutes. Sure, if inspired right, you may be able to crank one out in a day, but that's still stretching it. So, with that in mind, I set out to conquer what would prove to be a daunting task.
I'll take writing song lyrics over wills any day.
Tai wearily stood up, unsure of how he got volunteered to be the guinea pig. Clearing his throat, he began to read from the paper he held in his shaky hands.
I wasn't really paying attention to what he was listing. This is it. My chance finally is here. I don't know if Sora would be expecting to hear what I'm planning to say, but I hope she understands things. And if that fails, at least the others will get a tad bit of an explanation as to why I've been so moody and reserved so far this week.
I feel bad, to tell the truth. I've been taking out my frustration and anxiousness on them. They're only trying to figure out so they can help Sora and me work through our problems, but it just feels like they shouldn't know. So I haven't told them anything with the exception that she and I were trying to work through it.
Apparently the redhead told everyone the exact same line. "Yamato, we've all tried to get to the bottom of what happened with you and Sora and landed on our butts in the process. It's pretty clear neither of you is going to tell us diddly-squat so I just want to give you some advice. Fix whatever is wrong between the two of you pronto!" He held up a hand to keep me from interrupting, though, I really, surprisingly, wanted to hear what he had to say. "Let me finish first…"
"Dude, I wasn't making a motion to interrupt you."
He flushed. "I know. Look, Yama. You and Sora are my best friends. I'm not going to take a side here. I don't know who's right or who's wrong. Heck for all I know, you both could be corrupted. Just, please, do something to fix your relationship, whatever it may be. I don't want things to be awkward between the two of you. That would throw our friendships out the window and make things weird among all of us."
Sora was right; Taichi does give good advice from time to time. "When did you get to be so wise?" I sarcastically mumbled.
"I've always been wise, Yamato. But answer me one more question: platonic or romantic? What's it going to be?"
His question was a bit surprising, but I had a pretty good idea what answer to give. "I'm hoping for choice two…"
"And finally to my two best friends, Yamato and Sora." I snapped back to reality at his closing comment. My eyes joined with hers, ruby meeting my blue orbs, and I felt shivers run through my spine. I've been stealing glances at her over the past two days; I've been caught quite a few times. We've been avoiding each other, there's no denying it. I know I should approach her and attempt to make things right. But I've been scared and unsure. The feelings are obviously mutual as she's stayed away from me too. Hopefully after this class is over, though, the story won't be anywhere near the same.
"To the two of you, I leave a hope for the future. I'd offer an explanation, but the two of you are well aware of what I'm alluding too. Oh, and as for material possessions, I'm leaving you each some cash. I figure it's the least I can do as I'll be a rich political ambassador and the two of you…"
I faded my attention out as he continued to ramble on about who knows what. That's Tai. Despite all the trouble and mischief he can cause, you still can't help but appreciate him. The class began to applaud as his will wrapped up. Ms. Greene's eyes began to search around the room again, looking for volunteers.
Should I do it? Is the timing right? Maybe I should wait till someone else goes. Why am I chickening out again? Come on Ishida; be a man…
"I'll do it."
The sweet voice only belonged to one woman. Sora wobbly stood, as if her legs were completely shocked at what her brain had told her to say. She bit her lip in that way I find completely adorable and began to speak.
I locked my eyes to hers, but she hadn't noticed yet. I had a very strong feeling that would change once she got to my name. Her will was different than our best friend's. While Tai's held humor and sarcasm, Sora's was more honest and forward, everything speaking for itself.
I knew she was near the end, getting closer with each passing name. Could she possibly have something planned the way I do? "And finally…finally to my husband, Yamato. To you I give the strongest, most sincere gift I can offer: my heart."
Everyone was deathly silent as her words floated into all our ears. Does this mean what I think it does? Her eyes, as I predicted, had locked with mine, a bundle of emotions rapidly spinning in them.
"Yama, I don't know what more I can offer you other than my regret for what happened. I can only hope you understand what I am alluding to, and it is my hope that you accept my gift." It sounded like she had been waiting to get that confession of her chest for sometime now, probably as long of a time as I've been waiting to do the same. "That concludes my will."
I could tell Sora was scrutinizing my features, but I made my face unreadable. So she really was thinking the same thing I was. Her confession was a bit—okay, a lot—mushier and fluffier than mine, but if she had the same problem of placing her feelings into words, I was okay with it. Better to have said it then to keep it locked inside. Now I just need to get my part out of the way.
"Alright, does anyone else want to volunteer or am I going to randomly select people again?"
"I'll go, Ms. Greene."
The class buzzed with noise again, all waiting to see how I would respond to her will. "Go Yamato!"
Smirking at Taichi, I sauntered up to the front of the room confidently. I'd say I have every right to be confidant after hearing what Sora admitted. "I, Yamato Ishida, here in writing, offer up my will. Takeru, my adorable little brother," Tai snickered in the background, but I expected it from him, "you've got my musical abilities—but only to some extent—so you've got my musical instruments. Hikari, my sister-in-law, as an astronaut, I will have plenty of documents, charts, and contraptions dealing with space. As a teacher, I think these might all come in handy for you."
"To Mimi and Taichi, I leave both of you some money. Mimi, you deserve millions for being able to put up with Tai and his appetite. Use some of the money to buy food and cooking supplies and use some of it to treat yourself to a gift. Taichi, your money can fund whatever leisure activities you choose to partake in. Hopefully the two of us are still hanging out at that age, and we can use some of it to go down to the arcade and game places so I can beat your butt at them."
This was easier than I thought it would be. The four I had already named all seemed happy with the gifts. But I'm expecting…
"You wish, Yamato. You only wish."
Right on schedule.
"Yamato…" Ms. Greene was amused, but she also held a bit of a warning in her voice.
"Sorry. To Koushiro and Gwen, I too bequeath some computer games. What can I say? Koushiro, I know of your love for computers, and with these games, you and your wife can have some time together."
"Ryo and Megumi, my twins, keep up the Ishida name. I offer you my money, cars, and strong tradition. The future only looks bright for the two of you."
This is it. This is what I've been waiting for. "And to my wife, Sora…"
The room had collectively taken a deep, silencing breath. It was as if no one moved a muscle, all waiting for what I had to say.
"Sora, I was stupid. I let my fears get to me, something I should have gotten over by now. I ask for a chance…I'm sure you know what I mean. We don't have to be perfect like everyone expects us to be. As long as I'm around you, I'll be happy."
I could see a gentle smile grace her features, and at that point, I knew I was home free. Sure, we'd need to talk together about everything, but now we both knew the truth.
And there'll be no running.
"To you I leave old photographs full of memories of the past to keep a smile on your face in addition to the money and house. That is my will."
As the final word left my lips, the class began their animated chattering again. Not that I had expected it to be any different. "Very well done, Yamato." Our teacher gave me a wide grin, liking what I had to say. Seeing as I was done and what she would tell me to do, I nodded to her, heading over to sit next to Sora, knowing our talk was to come.
Ms. Greene called on Mimi to be the next "victim", but neither Sora nor I cared one bit. We talked for the duration of her will, spilling the contents of our hearts for the other to see, stopping only to hear what Mimi had left us and Taichi. I could go into great lengths, describing everything Sora and I talked about, but that's just not my thing.
Go to her if you want to find out all the gory details.
So, with the future hopefully shining in our favor, Sora and I sat back—together—to listen to the rest of the wills. Among those left were Kari and Takeru's. The younger Yagami left us each a large, undisclosed, amount of cash. "Use some of it to make sure Taichi is taking care of Mimi. Or you might need to use it to change the walls from pink to some other color. And with the rest of it, spoil yourselves. You both look like you could use it."
"Sora, Yamato, you two will be getting the first dedication in the novel I write. I can't think of anyone better to dedicate it to. You each have taught me a lot, though you probably don't know that." He smirked at me, and I returned the gesture. The blond continued on with his will, closing it in a rather unique way. "Ms. Greene, I leave you the first interview I ever write in a paper. I want to tell the world all about this crazy game…"
"That's it?" Taichi looked expectantly at me, assuming there was more I was choosing not to disclose. "That's it? But I was expecting something…bigger!"
"Bigger?" I couldn't keep myself from snickering. "I'd say that was pretty big at the time."
"What my brother so civilly was trying to say is that we all expected it to be something monumental and…unfortunate, what with the way you two were acting."
I rolled my eyes. "Well, now the story's out. So I hope you all are happy."
"I think you might have left out a few details, but I'm sure they'll live without them."
Looking down, I met Sora's ruby eyes, glimmering with a roguish tint. My eyes narrowed. "Were you awake this whole time?"
She gave a fake yawn, stifling a laugh with her hand. "I could tell where this conversation was heading, and I sure didn't want to relate the story. I had to do everything in my will not to laugh out loud during certain parts, though."
The others began to laugh at our, dare I say, childlike behavior. "Well, you all got what you wanted."
Murmurs of general consent could be heard around us, and I saw Mimi wipe a tear away from her eye. "That was so completely adorable. It was like…a movie…or a story or something."
"Get a grip, woman," I heard Taichi mumble, only to have Koushiro rudely nudge him.
"Actually," Mrs. Honda spoke up, "not all of us got what we wanted. Takeru, didn't you promise me an interview?"
As those around us lapsed into debate and conversation, I smiled at Sora, no longer resting her head on my shoulder. "That went better than I thought."
"That's one of the reasons I didn't want to tell them the story."
I nodded my agreement, and we silently watched the discussion around us.
The events of this Game still are strong in my mind. Each thing that happened to us happened for a reason. Life threw its games at us, and we responded the best we could. Good or bad, this little game of life I'm playing, journeying with Sora, Aiko and our future son, isn't always what I expect to be. But I can't see life or its games going any other way…
-The End…finally!-
Well, that's it for this fic and anything else in accordance with The Game of Life. So how'd version 4 of this fair? I hope you all enjoyed it, and I had a great time writing it. Please review…reviews are ALWAYS welcomed!