Fancy Meeting You Here...
by, Smeagol's girl

(A/N:I fixed it so it'll be easier on the eyes. Sorry about that!Four short stories of Willy Wonka's accidentaly encounters with the rotten children after they've become adults. Rated K+. I own nothing.)

Part 1
You Are What You Eat

The skies of London were growing more and more cloudy by the moment, which was typical lately. Rain seemed to becom the weather of choice around there, and everyone had simply learned to deal with it unwillingly. But there was nothing to stop them from scattering once it started to fall, so when the first crack of thunder resounded like a warning bell, people began to hurry and find shelter, parents pulling their children inside for their safety.

So naturally, this was the opportune time for Willy Wonka to venture out into the streets where no one wanted to be. No one would hastle him if they recognized him, and there would be a good distance between him and the normal people. He was out the once because he had been experiencing massive candy man's block, and needed a good walk to clear his head. This always happened once every harvest moon, but he usually waited until night before venturing out. Demands on new candy had been so insane lately, that he simply did not have the time to wait until night.

His head was stuck somewhere between heffelumps and woozles when the rain began to fall on him. He glanced up at the sky with a smile, and reached over for his umbr-

His hands patted around frantically, but there was no sign of his lovely umbrella. Half slapping himself he shook his head, he knew he had forgotten something, and the rain wasn't going to work wonders on his beautiful hat. Not knowing where else to go, he ran up to a nearby subway and boarded it, hoping that maybe a calm ride would have the same effect that a walk would have. It was relatively empty inside, and he chose one of the seats towards the back, staring out the window silently as he tried to think. Candy had always been a no brainer to him, because he always made what he felt like. Perhaps some sort of wet candy with the shivers then? No, no one would want that unless they were unnaturally hot and dry.

"Out of my way, tubby!" shouted a grouchy passenger as he squeezed down the hall. Willy glanced up breifly to see what the fuss was, and laid eyes on, what had to be, the single largest man he had seen in his life. He was a giant compared to the snotty man trying to squeeze past him, but a gentle giant for not shouting back for the name calling. He tried to suck in his massive stomach to give the man room, and managed to after a few minutes of squeezing and groaning. Once the man was through, he shouted back at the giant, "Do the world a favor and go on a diet!" The giant said nothing but found his way to one of the special sized seats, sitting in it glumly, glancing down at the floor.

Without meaning to, Willy felt sympathy for the man. After all, it probably wasn't he fault he was so big. Could he control the fact that most fattening foods tasted so good? And who had been that grouch anyway? He deserved to be squished by the man he would dare say. Oooh! It made him so irritated! He had to munch it out with a Wonka bar. Reaching in his pocket, he pulled one out (how he always managed to have one with him, he didn't have a clue) and started to unwrap it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw the giant shift uncomfortably, starting to eye the bar with greed. For a brief moment, Willy was certain he would pounce on him for it, and looked up at him nervously.

"Would you like some?" he asked, deciding to surrender for his life, holding up the chocolatey sacrifice to the towering man who would make a good Buddah statue if he shaved his head. The man looked as if he would take if at first, but then shook his large round head, holding his hand up.

"Naw, thanks," he said, a German accent squeezing through. "I really shouldn't. Need to vatch my veight."

"Oh, poppycock!" said Willy. "You look... great! One bar won't hurt anything would it?" The man chuckled and shrugged.

"You're good, all right." He reached over and took the bar gently, not snatching it so that Willy's fingers might go with it. Willy smiled, pleased, and pulled out a second bar for himself.

"You like Wonka bars?" he asked, ready to take a bite out of it.

"I love zem!" said the man eagerly, nearly devouring the bar in one bite. Willy watched him, slightly unsure and grinned.

"I can see that," he said with a smile, eager to please. "So do I. Didn't think we'd have so much in common." At this, the man eyed him with suspicion, and Willy struggled to eat any of the bar now with those eyes boring into him. He cleared his throat nervously and looked at him, preparing himself to get up and run if he needed to.

"Meester Vonka?" asked the man, his eyes widening. Great! Willy though. Someone recognized him! Now what? "It eez you!" cried the man, a smile that stretched longer than his face appearing. "Augustus! Augustus Gloop, remember?" he asked. Willy thought for a minute, and then in the back of his mind remember the boy barely sqeezing through a pipe filled with chocolate...

"Augustus! Of course I remember! My, you haven't changed a bit, have you?" He reluctantly reached out and shook his hand, not really having very man fond memories of the young man. "What brings you out here?"

"Bussiness meeting of course. I am zee president of Plus Siz Inc."
Shoulda known, Willy thought to himself. "Really? That's wonderful, isn't it? You probably make a lot of money with that don't you?"

"Almost more zan you maybe. People who love your chocolate as much as I do, struggle to find clothes in zeir on sizes. Do you know how many stores sell pant in a size 256?"

"Er... not many?"

"None except for my company! It eez ridiculous! Our bussiness eez very popular with zee Americans though."

"Well that's just splendid! I'm glad things are doing well for you!"

"Oh! This eez my stop. Eet's been a pleasure seeing you again Meester Vonka. Perhaps we meet again some other time?"

"Oh, I do hope so!" he lied.

"So long zen!" With that, the massive ball of flesh that was Augustus Gloop stood up and sqeezed his way out of the bus.

"A weight loss bar," Willy muttered. "Yes, I believe that's what I'll make."