Behold! I wrote my first GX fic! W00T!
Er, anyway, just to warn you all, this is kinda based on a Livejournal RPG I'm in. Ie, I borrowed the insane nurse of death and everyone's personalities are slightly different (although, for Fubuki, I'm not sure...) and theres a mention of a past sex-ed class. And there are a couple of inside jokes you might not understand. /is shot/
Disclaimer: I don't own Yugioh GX. I don't own the nurse who is owned by fellow insane writer and one of the players of said RPG Evil Togepi nor do I own Kihara who is owned by a fellow RPer known as Megatravis. I do own Mary Sue.
Oh and one more thing: I am only using the original Japanese names 'cause the dub names suck! Who in their right mind name their kid Chazz? Or Chumely? Or Syrus. /shudders/
This fic was partially inspired by Shrilanka-san's driver's ed fic (which only involved the old Yugioh cast). If you're reading this Shri, please don't kill me/hides/
And I have nothing else to say so you should go ahead and read the story.
Warning: Dueling Road Hazards Ahead
By Bilbo-sama
It was a rather nice day at Duel Academia. The sun was obviously shining, birds were singing, the hidden monkey civilization that is hidden in the woods being led by a dueling monkey named SAL was leaving the humans be (for now), and the students are having a random assembly staged by the principal.
"Starting tomorrow, all students will be participating in a new class we decided to add this year: Driver's Education," announced the principal, whose name escapes this writer and she only remembers that it starts with an S.
"And I will be teaching it!" said a middle-aged woman in white known as the school nurse.
All the kids looked horrified, "Also, if you don't come to class, I'll hunt you all down with Mr. Pointy!" she said while holding up a giant needle for all to see as she made her point.
"And that is all. Have a nice day, students!" said the principal while sweatdropping and edging away from the obviously insane woman.
"I can't believe that she's going to teach us Driver's Ed!" said Asuka, a girl from Obelisk Blue, as the students left the auditorium fearing for their sanity in an orderly fashion.
"Asuka-san, I still remember last month when she tried to teach sex-ed," said Shou, a blue haired and short Osiris Red student, "I think Aniki is still having trouble understanding the first day of it."
Juudai, or Aniki to his small friend, wasn't listening. He was deep in thought with a sad look fixed on his face.
"Juudai?" asked Asuka.
"Daitoukuji-sensei…where did you go?" he mumbled sadly.
"No use in trying to talk to him, Asuka-san," said Shou, "Aniki's been having random angst moments ever since Daitoukuji-sensei disappeared."
"Don't worry!" said a brown-haired boy known as Fubuki, "Just say the following: Lunch is served."
Juudai suddenly looked up, "Food? Where!" He then ran off, never to be seen again until sometime later in this story.
"Good one, Niisan," said Asuka.
"Seriously," said Fubuki with a smile, "Lunch is served."
"Come on, Kohara-san! Let's try to get the Tamagopan!" a girl with pink hair and in an Osiris Red girl's uniform passed by and dragging the green haired Ra Yellow student by the arm.
"But Mary Sue," said Kohara, "all of the Tamagopan has probably been drawn from bread bin by now."
"Tome-san says no one has gotten one yet for some reason today. That means we might get one!" replied Mary Sue with a smile.
"Are you guys sure they're just friends?" asked Shou.
The next day
"There is no need in trying to escape, students. All doors and windows are locked and if you try to sleep through this, I'll get you with Mr. Stabby!" said the nurse as she held up an even bigger needle than 'Mr. Pointy.'
Juudai, however, was already sleeping in his chair.
"MR. YUKI! WAKE UP AND PAY ATTENTION, DAMMIT!" She then poked him with Mr. Stabby. Hard.
"PAIN!" he woke up immediately.
"Anyway, I have several videos to show you all," said the nurse. On those words, everyone shuddered for they remembered the last time the nurse had videos to share.
nifty flashback effects
It was the first day of Sex-Ed class which was started by rumors that two students had too much of a good time after the school dance. Some kid named Kagurazaka saw them and wasn't the same since.
Appalled at the prospect of the students following their horrible teenage hormones, the nurse decided to teach sex education. Mainly because in her eyes, the students trying to reproduce with each other were dangerous since there were rivalries going on in the school (which was appropriate for a random island full of duelists).
Anyway, where was I? Oh yeah…
"Welcome to the first day of Sex-Ed. Today, I'll be showing you all a couple of videos…one of which shows the results of human reproduction." The nurse held up a video, which if you looked closely at it, said 'A Random Sex-Ed Tape that Provides Too Much Information and Visuals.'
She inserted the tape into the VCR and pressed the play button.
One hour later…
The students were watching the screen with bugged out eyes.
"What in the hell were they trying to do to each other!" said Juudai to Asuka.
She sweat dropped, "that's what the phrase 'doing it' really means."
"I know that but it looked like they were trying to kill each other!"
"Okay, kiddies!" said the nurse evilly, "Time for tape two!"
Thirty minutes later…
Let's just say that the boys were glad that they weren't girls. The girls, however, were even more horrified.
Then the bell rang. That's when everyone ran for it.
"Tomorrow is the school festival which means no classes tomorrow! Come by the day after for you're going to learn the other horrible things that result from sex!" shouted the nurse over the noise with an even more evil grin on her face.
End flashback
The students watched in anticipated horror as the nurse inserted the new tape in the VCR…
Words popped up on the screen of the rather huge TV. They were, "Drinking and Driving: Just Don't!"
Some time later…
The nurse looked around. The girls were sobbing and clinging to each other while Kohara was losing air from a sobbing Mary Sue holding onto him as if he was some kind of life preserver.
Juudai somehow managed to fall asleep to the nurse's annoyance. Oh well, at least his classmates were traumatized for life…
'These kids are making my job even more amusing,' she thought.
"Hey, kiddies! Next week, you'll be learning how to drive!"
Silence.
"As in, you'll be behind the wheel in groups!"
That's when everyone felt utterly doomed. DOOMED!
Next week…
The pier near the lighthouse slid in the ground and was replaced by an obstacle course.
Three groups of eight (for the nurse somehow convinced Seto Kaiba to send in an SUV via email) have gone through it.
Let's just say that they were bad at it.
The group we're going to focus on includes Juudai, Asuka, Fubuki, Shou, Shou's older brother Ryou (who by the way, is not Ryou Bakura and the Marufuji (Ryou and Shou) siblings are not related to said white haired bishie who we all know and love), Jun Manjoume, Kohara and Mary Sue.
The nurse arrived with the slightly damaged SUV.
"That SUV looks kinda bad, old lady," said Fubuki who then suddenly had a psychotic grin on his face, "Can I set it on fire?" He held out a blowtorch that he got from nowhere.
"FUBUKI, NO!" everyone then dogpiled him.
The nurse's face twitched, "DON'T CALL ME AN OLD LADY DAMMIT! That's it, you're driving first!"
"God help us all," muttered Mary Sue.
They all got into the car. Fubuki and the nurse sat in the front seats while the others filed into the two rows behind them known as the backseat in a SUV.
"Oooh! What does this pedal do?" asked Fubuki.
"That's the gas pedal, Mr. Tenjoin," said the nurse.
"Oh." Another psychotic grin was fixed on his face and everyone sitting in the backseats knew that they were doomed. DOO- Well, you get the idea.
He shifted gears to drive mode and stamped on the gas pedal. ZOOM.
Amazingly, he managed to get through the entire course without crashing into anything at speeds that went over 120 miles per hour.
"Well, Mr. Tenjoin, despite the fact that you were speeding and were putting everyone at risk, you did fine. If this was a real test, you'd get a 'C.'" said the nurse who looked over her shoulder to see the other seven passengers shivering in their seats.
"A 'C'? That's just insulting, old lady! I should see if this baby can fly!"
"You only get one chance, Mr. Tenjoin. Why don't you join NASCAR when you graduate?" said the nurse.
"Hey, sounds like a good idea, old lady!"
"I was kidding, dammit!"
"And I wasn't."
In the midst of this, Juudai, who recovered quickly, piped up, "Let's go again!"
"Sorry, Juudai-kun, but my sister looks like she'll kill me if I do it again," said a nervous Fubuki who then noticed that Asuka was in the middle of producing a Fireball.
"Now that has been settled," said the nurse, "next up is the younger Marufuji…or it would have been him if he wasn't as short as Ed Elric!"
Shou sulked in his seat.
"Mr. Kohara, you're up…oh nevermind. You're shorter than he is! You two come to my office tomorrow for some growth therapy! If you don't come, I'll hunt you down with Mr. Stabby!"
Kohara sulked even more than Shou in his seat.
"Next up, Miss Tenjoin!"
Asuka and Fubuki proceeded to switch their seats in the SUV. Asuka then proceeded to switch the gears to 'drive…'
Ten minutes later:
"Good job, Miss Tenjoin, you get an A," said an amazed nurse.
"Woohoo!" was Asuka's rather OOCish answer.
As for everyone else:
Juudai was doing fine until he suddenly got a random bout of angst.
"Daitokuji-sensei…" he mumbled.
"ANIKI, TREE!" screamed Shou.
"Whaa!" he immediately swerved out of the way.
The nurse didn't look too pleased.
Manjoume couldn't see a thing because the Ojama Trio was in his field of vision the whole time.
"Aniki, what are you doing?" asked Ojama Yellow.
"Yeah, what are you doing?" repeated Ojama Black and Ojama Green.
"I'm trying to learn how to drive. Go away!" he swatted them away.
"Ow, my eye!" yelped the nurse for he accidentally poked her in the eye. He got a 'D' afterwards.
As for Ryou…
"Onni-san, you're off course!"
"I know, Shou."
"WATCH OUT FOR THAT TREE!"
Swerve.
"Ryou-kun, you're heading into a field of ninjas."
Swerve. Crunch. "My wooden shurikens! NOOOOOO!"
"Argh! Its that guy from the Ricola commercial!" yelled Asuka.
"Riiiiiiicoooooolaaaaa!" said the Ricola guy as he jumped out of the way.
"Oh no!" saida horrifiedKohara, "DUBBERS!"
Five minutes later
Juudai blinked as he stared at the paper proclaiming his new dub name, "whose Jaden? Can I duel him?"
Everyone else sweatdropped.
"However, the authoress and her fellow rabid fans wishes to keep our names in fanfics and when they're discussing about the new episodes and stuff," said Mary Sue who managed to tell the dubbers that she and the nurse wasn't even in the anime.
"Huh?" said a confused Juudai.
"Oh, nothing!"
"Mr. Marufuji, for punishment for seriously endangering your fellow students and me, you shall wear a scarf and be Kaibaman's sidekick until you graduate!"
"But it's too warm to wear a scarf, old lady," Fubuki pointed out.
"I DON'T FREAKIN' CARE!"
"Kaibaman's here?" asked Manjoume (or to the dubbers, Chazz Princeton).
"Yes, and Mr. Marufuji here nearly ran him over," answered the nurse who pointed to the duel monster who didn't look too pleased.
"What in the name of justice gave you the idea to let him drive, Miss Nurse!"
"Meh, they'll be driving when they turn 18 anyway."
"Aw, I wanted to be Kaibaman's sidekick!" whined Kohara.
"Not until you grow to 4 foot five, Mr. Kohara," said the nurse.
"And somehow gain superpowers!" added Kaibaman who then went back to booby trapping the hot springs.
"Anyway, it's Miss Mary Sue's turn."
"With pleasure!" said Mary Sue, hiding an evil smirk.
And so, Mary Sue managed to get the car back on course and was doing well until Shou noticed that she was driving towards the volcano.
"Um, Sue-san, you do know that you're driving towards the volcano, right?"
"Oh, yes I do, Shou. Yes I do…" Her voice suddenly sounded masculine as she began to laugh.
"Huh?" said a confused Juudai.
"Joy," said Asuka sarcastically, "We've fallen for the 'last person turns out to be evil' cliché."
"Huh?" repeated Juudai.
"And don't forget about me!" said Kohara.
"Don't tell me, you're actually a girl."guessed Manjoume.
"...Yes."
"I knew it. No kid has a voice that high."
"Hey!"
"Who are you two and what happened to the students you've replaced!" shouted the nurse.
The SUV suddenly stopped. It then broke apart after all the abuse it suffered that day and conveniently, no one was hurt.
"I am…" began Mary Sue as she then ripped off her costume to reveal that she's really, "Gary Stu!"
"And I'm Kihara!" said a feminine version of Kohara as early Team Rocket dub music played in the background.
"And we're the evil clones of your friends (who we locked into a closet somewhere by the way) under orders of our master Evil Bob and – where is that music coming from!" said Gary Stu.
"Oh sorry," said Fubuki as he turned off the boom box next to him.
"Okay, let me get this straight," said Manjoume, "You're working for some guy called 'Evil Bob.' What kind of evil name is that? It's practically the most stupid thing I've ever heard..."
Five minutes later
"…And another thing, is Kihara even a real name? And-"
"Uh…Manjoume," began Juudai.
"Manjoume Thunder!"
Juudai continued on without correcting himself, "The clone things just got defeated by Mary Sue in Jedi robes and a green Power Ranger during your rant."
"What!" He looked up to see that indeed the real Mary Sue poking the empty clothing of the vanquished Gary Stu with a light saber while Kihara was battling it out with Kohara in a Green Ranger's suit.
"The writers need to pay me more…" he muttered as he wandered back to his dorm followed by the Ojama Trio.
As he said this, Kohara was having trouble fighting his clone. He was then cornered.
"Before I kill you, Kohara," said Kihara, "there is something I need to say."
"Does it involve parodying Darth Vader's 'Luke, I am your Father' line?"
"Er…yeah."
"You are seriously cliché," said Kohara, "goodbye!" He then brought a wide sword from nowhere and –
We, the censors, interrupt this fanfic because we really don't like violent deaths for they will up the rating to PG-13. Enjoy the following peaceful scene.
"Where did you get that sword Kohara?" asked Juudai.
"EBay."
"Miss Mary Sue, since you didn't actually drive but saved us all, you'll be in my office tomorrow helping me on the younger Mr. Marufuji and Mr. Kohara in their growth therapy tomorrow!"
"I'm doing what now?" asked Kohara.
"YOU'RE TOO SHORT TO DRIVE!"
"Aw man…"
"Why do I have to go?" asked Mary Sue.
"Because you, despite the fact that you can be very clumsy, haven't been sent to my office for the past three weeks."
"But isn't that a good thing?"
"No, I got used to it and Mr. Pointy misses you!"
Asuka and Ryou, sensing that the story was about to end, decided to go to the lighthouse to talk about today's events and angst for some odd reason.
Juudai again glanced at the document in his name.
"Shou?"
"Yes, aniki?"
"Whose Jaden? No one told me who he is."
"He's you, aniki"
"Huh?"
"He's you?"
"Eh?"
Shou sighed, "Just forget it, aniki."
"Oh, okay! Hey, lets go get something to eat!" he suggested as they walked away from the scene.
Fubuki was the last one there. He looked around and saw that no one was around. He then glanced at the broken down SUV. He then took out his blow torch.
We, the censors, interrupt this fanfic's ending because we don't like to promote pyromania. We will take the ending to elsewhere.
Meanwhile
"Er, hello, nya?" said Daitokuji-sensei, "Anyone there, nya? I'm stuck in a tree and I can't get down, nya…"
The End
Aniki, in case you're wondering, is another way to say 'big brother.'
And uh, I have nothing else to say except for you all to expect an update for TIRFOD: The Insanity Strikes Back later this month and stuff.
Ciao!