Disclaimer: Ok. Obviously I don't own Suikoden in any way, shape or form. If I did, I would berate Albie for trying to take over the world (silly Albie) and then kidnap him to do with as I please...But that's kind of the premise of my story so I won't go into that any further. Also, contrary to popular opinion, I am only mildly obsessive over the games. Just don't ask me how many times I've played each game. :looks down and coughs uncomfortably.

By the way, the main character of the story will be referred to as She or Her. This is because I wanted to make the story very general. You know, like anyone could do this...If you don't like it you can flame me. However, I have been known to dance naked in flames. Consider yourselves warned. Oh yeah. This is my first fanfic so constructive advice would be much appreciated.

It all started with an innocent thought while playing Suikoden III with Sparrow Nightrunner ."Wouldn't it be funny if I caught Albert in a trap?" Kyrissean thought out loud. Sparrow Nightrunner snorted."How would you catch Albert in a trap?" At moment of thought followed. It would be tricky to design and bait a trap for Albert. This would require careful planning and many practice rounds. Well, why not? There were plenty of bishounen in S3 to "practice" on. :evil grin:

Chapter 1: Setting the Trap

She anxiously looked at her checklist as She prepared to catch her first bishounen.

Step 1) Design trap. Check. A semi-sturdy seven cubic foot wooden cage with three barred walls, triggered to drop at the push of a button on a hand held controller, was ready to hold the first lucky bishounen who was unlucky enough to step under it. It would suffice for a first trap. Step 2) Get permission from castle master to use spot in castle for trap. Check. Note: Permission was granted by castle master Thomas to temporarily rent a few square feet inside the castle for placement of bishounen trap on the condition that the area was out of the way of any NPCs. Any space could be used at any time as long as this condition was met. Step 3) Identify potential bishounen for the first trap. Well, She already made a list of all potential bishounen. So the only decision left was who to start with. She started Her search in the basement of Budehuc castle.

"Oh! And who might you be?" an annoyingly squeaky voice called out at Her.

"You tell me. You're the detective." She returned to the weird kid with the red mask.

"How did you know that? Ahh, my reputation precedes me I guess. You must have heard about my escapade in…"

She ignored him as She went up to the warehouse level of the basement and looked in both directions. She sighed. "The ship is as good of a place as any to start," She mumbled. She stopped at the entranceway to the old graveyard and stared up at the huge beast in front of Her: Bazba, the bishounen lizard. "Maybe the lizards should be excluded," She decided anxiously and crossed a name off her list. It would probably be a good idea to start with a simple minded bishounen for Her first trap. Certainly one of the bishounen in the castle would be foolish enough to step under the…She grunted as She was suddenly pushed aside by a knight in black armor scurrying out of the ship.

"Sorry," he said, stopping and facing Her. "Just got a tip on the location of evil. Musn't delay. The world MUST be saved from all evil!"

"And you're the one to do it," She stated.

"Of course. Can you think of anyone better suited to vanquish evil from the face of the world?"

"How do you know I'm not evil?" She struggled to keep a straight face.

"What do you mean? DoyouknowanythingabouttheevilI'mafter? Ifyoudoyoushouldtell me. I AM specifically trained to fight evil you know," he declared, puffing out his chest.

She assumed a sorrowful expression. "No. I'm sorry. I don't know anything about the evil YOU'RE after,"

"Oh," the knight deflated. "Well, if you do find anything out about it you will tell me, right?"

"Of course I will." She smiled malevolently at the knight's back as he rushed away. Ah…Fred. Perfect.

That night She set up the trap near her favorite painting, the one of the sunset. It was in a prime trapping location between the steps and the conference room. The trap was safely positioned above the spot of her choice and ready to go. Now all She had to do was prepare the bait. She got out a sheet of paper and wrote EVIL on it with black pen and drew an arrow pointing down. "This seems too easy," She mumbled, taping the sign to the wall. She turned a couple spotlights onto it so it would be plainly visible in the dark castle. Now for the bishounen. She walked down to the ship and sure enough Master Fred was back in his usual spot on the wrecked ship talking with Rico.

"Isn't it kind of late for your squire to be up?"

Fred gave Her a clueless expression.

"Never mind. Hey, I got a tip on that evil you're looking for."

"YOU DO! Well tell me. This evil must be vanquished as soon as possible."

"Well, it seems that there's some sort of clue as to the whereabouts of Evil upstairs in the castle. You know…near that painting of the sunset."

"Oh yes. Of course I know." Fred rushed off, Rico hot on his heels. She jogged behind them, Her anticipation growing with every step. As they got up the stairs Fred looked around wildly. Then he saw the EVIL sign on the wall and rushed towards it.

"Master Fred. Something looks suspicious about that s-"

Beep. Swoosh. Clash.

"W.what's going on!" Fred uneasily shifted his eyes left and right.

"Sir Fred!" Rico called out, just beyond the trap. She grabbed the bars and started tugging.

"It actually worked!" She trotting to the trap gleefully.

"What is the meaning of this?" Fred shouted indignantly, putting his hands on his hips.

"Shhh," She whispered, putting her finger to her mouth. "You might scare the evil away. She glanced around feigning paranoia. Or worse…the other bishounen."

"What…?" Fred was now extremely confused, as opposed to his usual state of mild confusion.

"Don't worry. Everything will be fine," She assured Rico.

"What's that in your hand?" Rico asked, warily.

"Oh this?" This is just a little devise to make sure that my bishounen don't run away from me." In Her hand was a long stick with a loop at the end, which tightened as it was pulled on. She slowly unlocked and cracked open the door of the trap, just wide enough so that the loop and stick would fit through. Fred cringed towards the back of the cage as the loop came closer to him. She carefully slipped the loop over Fred's head.

"Hey!" Fred clutched the loop and lunged away from Her. "Gah," he choked.

"No, no! Don't do that! Just come along peacefully and nobody will get hurt."

Rico started crying. "Please, Master Fred!"

Fred struggled for a while before his impended breathing caused by the loop around his neck resulted in fainting.

She sighed and looked down at the crying Rico. "Well, that went well." Her sarcasm was plainly evident. She took the loop off Fred, grabbed his arms and dragged him to Viki.

"Hey Viki?" Viki blinked drowsily. "Could you teleport us to these coordinates?"

Viki looked at the sheet of paper and nodded sleepily. "Sure. No problem."

She sighed and leaned Fred on her shoulders the best She could. Not bad for a practice round. She had caught her first live bishounen. She smiled with accomplishment.

"Okay…ready?"

She nodded.

"Here goes."

Rico watched in horror as She and Fred blinked out of sight and the teleportress blinked in confusion.

"Oops."

Well, there she is. Please review. I have a couple of other chapters written, but if you guys don't like the story I keep them solely for my own reading pleasure. More ideas will be considered for use in further chapters.
Special thanks go out to Psycholeopard and Sparrow Nightrunner for their inspiration and editing skills.