Chapter Twelve
The car ride home was unusually tense. Summer had decided to head home, knowing full well that getting Ryan home wouldn't be easy. She had kissed Seth's cheek and had promised to stop by tomorrow with a gift for Ryan. Seth didn't ask, knowing that Summer already had plans in mind. He'd got in the car with his parents and now sat beside Ryan, who had taking his look of brooding to an all time level. Seth had to hold back a few smart remarks knowing that Ryan probably wasn't in the mood for them.
"So, Ryan," Sandy said from the driver's seat. Seth held his breath, wondering if Ryan's temper would flare up at the simple address. But Ryan didn't even turn his head from the window. Sandy didn't seem phased. "We were thinking of making smoothies tonight. You're probably sick of that hospital food, it's not the best, I know…"
"Not hungry," Ryan grumbled, his voice low.
Seth caught his father's eyes in the rearview mirror and he was surprised to see Sandy urging him to say something. Seth licked his lips and looked over at his foster brother, who was sitting rigidly, uncomfortable. "Dude, we could eat them in the pool house. Have a little smoothie, a little Playstation, you remember Playstation, don't you? It's missed you buddy, it's been calling your name…"
"I just want to shower and go to bed," Ryan said, turning his head slightly so that Seth knew he was talking to him.
"You should eat something," Kirsten added, turning in her seat to look at Ryan. "You hardly ate anything at lunch and you know, Dr. Mahogan said your stomach needed to be eased back onto normal foods, so a fruit smoothie would be perfect."
"I said I'm not hungry," Ryan growled.
Sandy gripped the steering wheel. "Watch your tone," he said strongly.
Ryan sat quietly, his face pressed against the glass of the window. He made no move to apologize except for a sigh that told them all he wasn't feeling great. Seth tapped a tune on his knee, looking between his Mom and Dad, wondering who would be the next one to venture towards breaking Ryan's foul attitude. But neither of them seemed too excited about taking on such a task. Seth decided to spare his parents the pain.
"Well, more for us then," he smiled, hoping Ryan would turn and see the gesture, but Ryan didn't move. "But you know, smoothies are a rare accommodation in the Cohen household. You pass them up now, you better be ready to wait a year before they're offered again. Maybe even more. Mom's good with a blender, I'll give her that. But add fruit and there's always room for disaster."
"Seth," Kirsten admonished, though she smiled at his attempt to lighten the mood.
"Look," Ryan said, turning to face the center of the car. Immediately, all eyes were on him. "Thanks, and everything, but I really am tired. I just want to go to bed." Ryan's eyes were almost pleading with them to not push it any further.
Seth wouldn't have it. "You've been sleeping for a week straight, buddy," he said. "Maybe it would be good if you were up and about for a bit."
Ryan glared and gave him a small, "No," before looking back out the window.
Kirsten sighed from the front seat. "Well, when we get home, you can take your medication and go to bed, since obviously we can't convince you to do otherwise." Ryan seemed even more rigid at the words and Seth knew that he was feeling guilty for being such an ass, but Seth had already forgiven him and he knew his parents had too.
Pulling into the driveway, Seth unbuckled quickly and looked over at Ryan, who was taking his time, moving gingerly. Ryan's face was set in a determined look, staring at the front door of the house as though it were a thousand miles away. But they were a thousand miles he was willing to trek if it meant he could lay down for even a minute.
"Home sweet home," Sandy said encouragingly, getting out and opening Ryan's side door. Ryan looked at him and for a moment, there was an awkward pause. Seth half expected Ryan to protest the offered help. But he took Sandy's outstretched arm, albeit reluctantly. Seth looked towards Kirsten, who gave him a smile before getting out as well.
Sandy and Ryan rounded the Range Rover and slowly made their way to the front door. It was slow going and Seth couldn't resist the banter.
"Ryan, buddy, with my inner eighty year old Jewish man and your eighty year old hip movements, we could totally storm the shuffleboard courts." He was awarded with a glare that was only half felt as a smile crept onto Ryan's face. Seth gave himself a quiet hoo-ha of triumph before rushing forward to open the front door. Sandy ushered Ryan inside and Kirsten went to the kitchen to get Ryan's medication ready.
By the time they reached the living room, Ryan's face was pale and sweat had started to bead on his forehead. Seth smoothed out a place for him on the couch, watching as his father led Ryan at snail-like speed towards the couch. "Almost there," Sandy soothed as Ryan couldn't hold back a small noise of discomfort coming down the step into the living room.
Lowering his foster son onto the couch, Sandy took a moment to make sure Ryan was placed in a comfortable position before fully letting go of his arm. "We'll take a break here for a minute," Sandy said, watching as Ryan closed his eyes and mentally focused on getting his breathing, and the pain, under control again.
Kirsten came into the room with a glass of Gatorade and three rather unfairly large pills. Seth cringed at their size, knowing there was no way in hell they'd ever get him to take a pill that large, let alone three of them. But when Ryan opened his eyes and caught sight of them, he leaned forward without thinking to take them. The sudden doubling over and shocked gasp of pain brought the Cohen's flocking to him immediately.
"Easy," Sandy coaxed, leaning Ryan back again. Ryan was blinking rapidly and Sandy was instantly moving to sit on the couch next to him, holding him upright.
"Deep breaths, man," Seth said.
After a few moments, Ryan sighed and looked up at everyone with a nervous smile. "Sorry," he said. "Moved too fast."
"Not a problem," Kirsten said, her voice a little over enthusiastic as she handed him the pills. "Take these and you'll feel better. Then we'll get you in the guestroom."
Both Seth and Ryan looked at her with identical questioning looks. "Guestroom?" Ryan asked, downing the pills and then half of the Gatorade bottle. He coughed once afterwards, but immediately went back to the questioning look.
Kirsten shrugged, nodding her head as she did so. "Well, yes, I know there's stairs and everything but I thought it would be better if you were a bit closer than the pool house. You know, just in case?"
"Look, I appreciate it, but really, I'm fine," Ryan said.
"So we've heard," Sandy commented dryly. "I think Kirsten is just worried. You've given us all quite a scare."
Ryan ducked his head in uncharacteristic fashion before he murmured a soft, "I know." He swallowed once more, a frown coming to his face. "And I really am sorry…"
"It's not your fault," Sandy assured him, either totally oblivious to Ryan's inner turmoil, which was so evident on his face, or pointedly ignoring it. Seth couldn't tell. But Sandy didn't give Ryan the time to brood about it. "Now, lets get you up to the guest room so you can get some rest. You must be exhausted. You know, those treks from the car to the living room can be tiring."
"And you wonder where I get my sarcasm," Seth voiced, earning another half smile and glare from his foster brother.
Sandy helped Ryan stand up. Ryan's hand grasped at Sandy's arm in a death hold for a minute. He blinked heavily for a minute before he seemed to gather himself. Looking up, Ryan's deep eyes met with Seth's and Ryan seemed to relax, letting out a sigh. "Thanks you guys," he said, giving a sort of content smile. "For everything."
"Yeah, well thanks for not dying," Seth said back, making sure the joke was evident in his voice, though he meant the comment fully.
"Seth," Kirsten warned.
Sandy helped Ryan up the stairs and Seth sank into the couch, letting himself relax. Kirsten stood for a while in the middle of the living room and waited for Sandy to come back downstairs.
Sandy helped Ryan get into the bed. Ryan didn't want to admit it, but he was glad Sandy was there. It was never like this in Chino. Whenever Ryan was hurt, or sick, he was always on his own. That's how he liked it. That's how he almost preferred it. But he couldn't deny that it felt good to have someone there, just in case he lost his balance or was overcome by the dizziness. Sandy, to Ryan's relief, only helped him when he looked like he needed it.
When finally the task of laying down was over, Ryan pulled up the covers and looked over to Sandy, who was looking down at him with an odd look on his face. "What?" Ryan asked, unsure of what that look was. It wasn't pity, it wasn't remorse or fear or anything else he expected to see.
Sandy shook his head, thinking he'd brush it off as nothing, but when he saw the pained and almost hurt look in Ryan's eyes, he smiled and sat down on the bed. Ryan looked even more confused and a little frightened. "We thought we lost you, kid," Sandy whispered. Sandy patted Ryan's arm which was crossed over his chest. He cut him off before he had a chance to apologize again. "And it wasn't even at the beginning. After your surgery, when you were sick. You were hurting and you didn't tell anyone. And even now, when Kirsten or myself, or even Seth tries to help you, you don't accept it unless we make you accept it. It's okay to need help, Ryan."
Ryan laid his head back on the pillow and stared at the ceiling. He had hoped he'd get at least one more day until he had this conversation with Sandy. They had never really talked in depth about his past. He remembered the first day he met Sandy. He'd been cold, tough, but scared. And Sandy had said things, personal things about Ryan that he couldn't believe another person would know about. He thought Sandy was just another rich guy, pretending to understand his problems. But then, he had opened his home to him. Kirsten and Sandy had both opened their home. Ryan had learned so much being here. But, like everywhere he went, his past had caught up with him. Chino had caught up with him.
"I know," Ryan said. "It's just, in Chino I never really had anyone around to help."
"This isn't Chino," Sandy said softly. "We're here for you, always. There's nothing you can't come to us with. Whatever you need, whatever your problems are, we'll help you through it."
Ryan was quiet for a moment. He didn't want to tell Sandy what was going through his mind. He didn't want to tell him that he'd heard those words a thousand times before. He didn't want to tell him that the one time he had listened to them, he'd been turned away, shut out, criticized and punished.
"It's just…" Ryan searched for the right words. He finally closed his eyes, not wanting Sandy to see the hurt there. "As much as I try to pretend Chino never happened, I can't seem to get away."
"Because it did happen." Ryan opened his eyes to look at Sandy with a look akin to shock. Sandy shrugged. "There's no denying it. But, that's what makes you, you. I know what it was like for you. I may not know the details, but I know enough. I know that it was hell. But, you didn't turn out so bad."
"Guess not," Ryan gave a small smile as he felt his eyelids start to droop from the pain medication. Sandy reached out and ruffled his hair before getting up and walking towards the door.
"Not bad at all," Sandy whispered as he shut off the light and left Ryan to fall asleep.
Review Responses:
cdgeiger: Yeah, I like writing Seth and Summer. They're fun together. Although I'm a huge fan of Ryan, I love Seth and Summer together.
IY-ROX: So I actually loved the premiere. There were little things that bugged me about it. I feel that it would have been AWESOME spread out over two hours so they could spend some more time with the little scenes, but I still thought it was good. I actually cried when Ryan cried on Sandy's shoulder after saying goodbye to Trey. It was the saddest thing ever. I printed out a picture and put it on my CJ binder, lol. I'm obsessed. I hope this season will be good. I have a feeling it's going to be a pretty serious season and that the OC I love is going to remain in first and second season, but this will be like a whole new venture. We'll have to wait and see what happens.
slimkay: Thank you!
kandy4eva: You'll have to wait one more chapter for the Kandy. So sorry!
Dumbeblondi02: I'll see what I can do about the Ryan/Summer for you. If I can squeeze some in, I'll do it. I think I'll be able to deliver, but we'll have to see. :)
ChaiGrl: Why thank you!
SVOC Luva: Yeah, this chapter sort of brought out the grumpy Ryan, but then brought out the remorseful Ryan for being grumpy, lol. It's hard to gauge how Ryan will react. He's never really been severely hurt or sick on the show, so no one knows how he'll react.
forgottenletters: Thanks for reviewing both this story and The Deep End. I appreciate it. I'm glad you liked The Deep End. It was fun to write. :)
beachtree: The tension at the beginning of the last chapter was just implying that Ryan was being "grumpy" and tensions were high now that he was awake. That's all. ANd yeah, I agree about the overplayed grumpy Ryan. He's such a dynamic character that it's hard to get his reactions just right. Of course he's going to take the Cohen's feelings and respect them, but also, he's never really been in a situation like this with them (on the show at least) so it's hard to know how he'll act. I hope I got it at least semi-right.
darkchildlover: Why thank you! That really means a lot to me. And I updated! Just for you! So don't hurt me! LOL! ;)