Gee, everybody thinks I'm evil. (evil laugh err... sniff)
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And, I hope you like this chapter!
Previously on Stargate SG-1...
As Carter took her second bite of steak, she sighed with pleasure. "Thank you sir"
"Anytime" he stopped playing with his soda. "So, what's the REAL story behind Zip-a-dee-do-dah?"
She froze. "Who says there is one?" she asked finally.
"No one"
She groaned. "There was a talent contest at Disney World. I entered and sang that. If you go there, my portrait still hangs in the hall.
He laughed. "Go Sam"
She rolled her eyes, "So sir… you're retiring?"
Now... the conclusion!
"I uhh... what?"
She gently swirled the liquid in her glass, "I found your retirement form Jack."
"I figured."
"Carter-"
She looked at him, eyes narrowed. "Why did you bring me here sir?"
"I uhh..."
She stood up, "I'm not doing this again."
"Doing what?" he asked genuinely puzzled.
"Call me."
"When?"
She looked into his eyes, "When it's time." and with that she kissed him.
She hurried out as Jack and half the male population watched her.
"Dude, she is so hot," a man from the next table, whispered.
"She's not yours to care about." Jack said glaring at him.
"You guys are like not going steady so if I want to like think she's like hot, I can."
Jack blinked. "You're what... 20?"
The 'man' blushed. "21 actually. Today's my birthday."
"Well Happy Birthday."
"Thanks. I'm Timmy."
"Jack."
"Do you like her?" he asked.
Jack shrugged, "I guess."
Timmy laughed, "Oh ho ho ho, you do, you do, you really, really do!"
"Will you shut up?" he snarled.
"Nope!" he said with a giggle.
"No more beer," Jack said snatching his glass away.
"Give it back!"
"No, I think not."
"But it's mine!" the boy whined.
"I think I'll-"
"Colonel O'Neill, what on earth are you doing?"
Jack lowered the glass, "General Hammond sir, I was just uhh..." he stopped, "Will you excuse me?"
He dashed out.
George Hammond stared after him, "There goes a strange man," he said solemnly.
----
Sam sat on her sofa, placing pictures in an album. She had over a hundred photos from their time on P4X-234. She slipped the last one in and closed it. Sometime, she'd show Daniel. The poor guy, she knew he felt out of the loop but she would make it up to him. She smiled fondly, that archeologist deserved a little tormenting. Maybe persuading the nice 'cook man' to not put out any coffee one day...
Ding-dong
Sam quick adjusted her makeup and hurried to the door. She pulled it open and there stood...
Daniel and Janet.
"Hey Sam."
She felt a sinking sensation, "Hey guys, come on it."
Janet handed her a basket, "My apology," she said with a grin.
"Chocolate, coffee, book, bubble bath... I accept."
"Can we go now?" Daniel asked eagerly.
Sam took in Janet's black dress, Daniel's suit...
"Guys," she asked slowly, "What going on?"
"Daniel's taking me on a d-a-t-e."
Sam stared at her 'brother' who was watching her carefully. "Take care of her son," she said in a deep voice, "Bring her home sometime before dawn so Cassie won't get suspicious about what you guys were doing and-"
"SAM!" Janet screeched while Daniel reddened.
"Opps!" she said with mock dismay.
"We better go now," Daniel said dragging his date towards the door.
"Bye!" Sam called innocently.
As the door closed, she seized the basket and dashed into the bathroom.
----
Jack pulled up to her house and studied it thoughtfully. The lights were off but her car was there. He turned off the ignition and got out. A few swift strides brought him to the door. He knocked and waited. No answer. He knocked louder, still no answer. He tried the doorbell. He turned the handle and froze. Sam always, always locked the door, even when she was home. Common sense told him that she must have forgot but instinct took over. Heading down the hall, he checked every room with his gun drawn. Bedroom, kitchen, living room, hall, bathroom…
----
Sam sank into the tub and sighed. Candles surrounded the bubbly bath and the smell of roses was in the air. She climbed in cautiously and set her book and chocolate on the stool next to her. She sighed and leaned back, enjoying the warm water. This was heave-
The door burst open and a man with a gun ran in. She did the ultimate girly thing- she screamed.
----
Jack lowered his gun. "Carter?"
"No, I'm her evil twin taking a bath. Sir, what the hell are you doing in my bathroom?"
"I-" he stopped, "Blaming me huh?"
"What?"
"Here I am thinking you are dead, or worse, kidnapped and I-"
"DEAD IS BETTER THEN KIDNAPPED?"
He stopped, "No, reverse those, and-"
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY BATHROOM?"
"I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!"
"WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?"
"YOUR DOOR WAS UNLOCKED!"
She stared at him. "What?"
"You always lock your door."
She blinked. "You came into my house, waving a gun just because I didn't… lock my front door?"
"Not waving, pointing! Oh, and I knocked!"
She ignored that, "Sir, I'm a big girl, I can take care of myself!" she sank deeper into bubbles and accidentally kicked the plug. The water began sinking.
"GET OUT OF HERE!" she cried as the water began draining.
Jack stood there, just staring at her.
"OUT!"
He blinked then promptly left.
She stared at the closed door for a second then calmly began blowing out the candles.
----
Jack paced the living room. It was a good room for pacing; it was long, it took about 13 strides to-
"Sir?"
Jack looked at her and every thought he had ever had about her (the ones General Hammond would not approve of) came rushing into his brain. She was wearing a robe that clung to her shapely form.
"Carter," He managed to get out. "I'm so sorry…"
"It's ok sir, I... understand."
He nodded.
"Sit down," she offered.
He sat then promptly stood up. She shrugged and sat down. "So... you wanted to talk?"
He stared at her for a moment before blurting, "Sam, can you change?"
She gave a startled look to her attire. "Why?"
"You are driving me to distraction!"
She blinked, "Is that bad?"
"Yes, no, well, yeah, sort of- I-, damn it Carter!" with one long step, she was in his arms.
Later that night...
Jack looked at his 2IC, "How'd you come up with that excuse?" he said curiously.
"Which one?" she asked with a laugh.
"Fish one."
"Oh," she paused, "I think it was because Daniel was making fish faces at me."
"I see."
"What about you and Teal'c? Who came up with the idea to lock us out?"
"Believe it or not, it really was Teal'c."
She snuggled closer, "Ok."
Jack stroked her hair, "You know Teal'c set that whole thing up?"
"What?"
"He... persuaded Thor to 'halt the progress of the gate's reactivation.'"
"Really?" she pursed her lips, "Remind me to send Thor something... and to buy Teal'c some more candles."
"I will endeavor to do so,"
Carter started then smacked him, "I really thought it was Teal'c!"
"So who retires?" he asked.
"Rock, paper, scissors? First to three stays?"
They nodded and readied their hands.
"Rock, paper, scissors," Sam chanted.
Jack had scissors, Sam had paper.
"One for me."
She nodded, "Rock..."
Jack had scissors again, Sam paper.
"This is rigged!"
"Now Sam, come on..."
She sighed, "Rock..."
Sam had rock, Jack scissors.
"One for me!"
"Rock..." Jack began.
Jack rock, Sam paper.
"Two-two!"
They took a deep breath.
Both had rock.
"Ok, last time..."
Sam's fingers formed paper as Jack fist turned into scissors.
Sam half sighed-half laughed. "I love you Jack O'Neill."
"I love you too Sam."
The two drifted off to sleep. As the clock struck two, a dark figure entered the room and took a snapshot.
----
Four weeks later,
Jack and Sam dashed out to the limo waiting outside the door, before closed the car door, he handed them an album.
"Enjoy."
Sam fidgeted and thanked him. As soon as the door shut, her hand shot down her back.
"What's the matter?"
"I have rice down my dress!"
"I can remove it when we get to the hotel..."
"Ha ha, very funny. What's in the album?"
She opened and gasped. "Jack, that's us..."
Picture after picture showed Sam and Jack in compromising positions.
"I'm so glad the General can't see this." Sam said fervently.
Her cell rang. "Carter-"she stopped, "Sam."
"When you get to your hotel, go to the SGC news page."
"Why?" she demanded. She groaned and hit the 'end call' button.
"What is it?"
She moaned, "Teal'c posted all these pictures... on the SGC news page."
Jack froze. "He didn't..."
"Why?" she asked suspiciously.
"Well, I uh.. posted mine..."
Carter stared at him disbelievingly, "Oh God, so did I."
----
Walter stared at the photo, "What is she WEARING?" he asked finally.
"Umm..." Siler squinted, "I think... nothing."
"No, it's one of those Hawaii bikini things!" one of the scientists insisted.
General Hammond crept up behind them as they moved to another picture showing Jack juggling... pancakes?
"What's going on?" he demanded.
Everyone flew to attention, "Sir, I... Major Carter and... I..." he trailed off miserably.
"I see." he hurried into his office and turned on his computer. Five minutes later, a loud peal of laughter was heard.
Everyone shrugged and went about their work.
----
One year later, Teal'c, Sam, Daniel, and Jack stepped through the gate.
"Wow. So this is the infamous place." Daniel muttered, "It looks so normal."
Jack and Sam rolled their eyes and hurried to the cabin.
"I am never doing this again," Sam panted as she reached the stairs and beamed herself up.
Jack looked at his pregnant wife and chuckled. "Your idea m'dear."
She nodded and looked around, "Admit it, it makes a great one year anniversary place!"
Jack looked at the balloons and crepe paper, "Yeah, really great."
The hours flew past, Daniel cooked hotdogs (Sam's latest craving) and they all sat around the table telling each other tales. Jack looked over at his wife mid-way through a story and stopped. "Sam, you ok?"
She laughed shakily and patted her bulging tummy. "Jacob wants to come out."
"You mean..."
"Yes Jack,"
"Oh for cryin' out loud!" he muttered, "Daniel, you have the most experience, you help her, I'll go make up the bed."
"What?" Daniel hissed, "I am NOT, I repeat NOT, delivering Sam's baby!"
"You have too!"
"No, I don't!"
"Who else will?" Jack demanded.
"O'Neill, the contractions are increasing in intensity!"
"Someone run for Janet!"
"I don't think we have time!" Sam yelled.
Teal'c watched his friends scurry about and smiled. SG-1 was always unpredictable.
----
The next morning an exhausted Sam cradled her baby in her arms.
"What are we going to name her?" she asked, "We only had boy names."
"Kayla?" Daniel suggested, "It means Pure and beloved. Its origin is from the Celtic/Gaelic and-"
"Daniel," Sam said sweetly, "Shh, you'll wake Kayla."
"Sorry," he whispered.
"Where's Teal'c?" Jack asked.
"He went to get Janet." Daniel said absently as he was busy looking at the little form.
"Wanna hold her?" Sam asked offering her to him. Daniel accepted eagerly. What little hair Kayla had was brownish.
"Oh Sam, she's beautiful." he breathed.
"I helped!" Jack pouted.
Daniel ignored him and looked down as she stirred. "She had violet eyes!" he cried.
"Grandmom did." Sam said quietly, "I thought she might."
The little mouth began sucking on air, Sam laughed. "Give her to me Daniel," she said holding out her arms. Daniel reluctantly gave her the baby. "Need anything?" he asked.
"Something to drink..."
He nodded and hurried out.
Jack sat on the bed and watched his daughter latch on to his wife's nipple and suck greedily. "She's beautiful Sam."
Sam nodded and stroked the soft hair, "She's so tiny Jack. What if I fail her? What if she hates me?"
"She won't Sam. You'll do fine. I promise."
She gave him a brilliant smile, "Thanks."
The door flew open and Jacob, Janet, George, Teal'c and Daniel flew in. As the baby was checked out and then passed around, Jack whispered to his wife,
"And this all happened because of P4X-234."
She kissed him, "I love you Jack O'Neill."
"I love you too."
Kayla chose that appropriate moment to scream for her mother.
Jack smiled, "That's my girl."
Teal'c took one last snapshot and added it to a new photo album. "I have begun collecting pictures for Young Kayla O'Neill." he explained.
Thus ends our time on P4X-234. Thank you for reading this.
The End.
As I did rock, paper, scissors to see who would retire, every single time, Sam had paper and Jack rock. EVERY single time, isn't that bizarre?
I know it was a bit rushed near the end but... my apologizes if you didn't like it.
And (of course) I hope you liked it, THANK YOU ALL SO MUCH FOR READING (AND) REVIEWING!
My faithful readers, I love you so much!
XXXX
Morgann
P.S. PLEASE REVIEW!