Epilogue
"[I am] left alone with only reflections of the memory, to face the ugly [one] that's smothering me."
Sorrow-Flyleaf
A familiar pair of tear-filled eyes looked pleadingly up at Kai, piercing his heart with the intensity of emotion behind them. If ever in his life he had claimed to have seen true sorrow, he had been wrong until this moment. The heart wrenching pain captured within the eyes staring at him was so powerful Kai swore the owner of the eyes was dying, but the owner wasn't.
Tyson was very much alive in the picture plastered on the front of the newspaper Kai was holding in his hands. The article was about Tyson breaking the law by disobeying a security guard and entering the terminal area of the airport before passing security. The article didn't mention anything about why Tyson broke the law, but it didn't have to; Kai knew Tyson must have been trying to stop him from leaving Japan.
Unable to look at those soulful eyes anymore, Kai tossed the newspaper onto the carpet of his hotel room and let himself collapse on his soft, cushy bed. Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander, but Tyson's tear streaked face kept appearing before his mind's eye.
Frustrated, Kai opened his eyes, grumbled, and sat up. He let his eyes scan the room for any form of distraction but found nothing. His room was dark because he had yet to turn on a light and it was small too. There was a tiny TV that Kai could watch but he rather not because he feared that if he turned on the news he would Tyson's picture on the screen and a news reporter talking about him.
Sighing, Kai frowned.
He was alone. When had he last been alone, truly alone? Kai had been on a team for so long he had forgotten what it was like to enter a room and know that no one was there. No one would greet him. No one would chatter incessantly into his ear about stupid mundane things. No one would smile at him or joke with him, no matter how angry he was.
It was painful. It made his heart ached.
Kai's eyes widened in shock. He gripped at his chest. Was he really feeling lonely and regretful?
Shaking his head in disbelief, Kai tried to rid himself of the strange emotions welling up inside him, but his attempts failed when his eyes landed on the picture of Tyson crying and reaching out to someone in the distance.
The constricting feeling in Kai's chest tightened, and for a moment he couldn't breathe. The feelings of loneliness and regret washed over Kai like a wave at the sight of Tyson's photo, but somehow the emotions were different than before. The emotions were tainted with something that made them twice as painful.
Wincing, Kai lifted his head towards the sky and stared at the dirty, white ceiling of his hotel room. He stared and kept staring until hours had passed and he finally let out a bittersweet chuckle.
He was starting to understand.
"[It's] been a long road since those hands I left my tears in, but I know it's never really over."
Sober- Kelly Clarkson
"Your counselor is here, Little Dude," Tyson's grandfather whispered through the crack between Tyson's bedroom door and the doorway. His grandpa's voice was soft—accepting but surrowful.
Tyson wished his grandfather would just send the counselor away.
Was it so wrong to feel depressed? Was it wrong to not want to talk to anyone? Sure, six months of not talking to anyone was a little extreme, but what was he supposed to say? His friends and family had already said it all: "Kai is a jerk", "You'll feel better soon", "You don't look too good. I'll make you some food, okay?", and other similar sentiments. That was until someone decided it was time for Tyson to see a counselor.
Tyson would have laughed if he had strength when he had heard that. How could he see a counselor when he refused to leave his room? Counselors didn't come to people's houses, or so Tyson had thought.
"Little Dude?" Tyson's grandfather called.
Tyson lifted his right hand up to signal to his grandfather that he had heard and understood what the old man had said earlier.
Tyson listened as his grandfather sighed sadly and left him alone for the moment.
He almost felt bad for not looking at his grandfather, but he couldn't help it. His gaze was glued to his bed, the last place where he had seen Kai before the older boy left for parts unknown.
Tyson was obsessed. He was mentally ill but it didn't matter. All he thought about was Kai and what he could have done better. He must have been the one to make Kai leave. He was such a screw up and he was always annoying Kai; it had to have been him. He had to be the reason.
There was a soft knock on Tyson's bedroom door, but he didn't answer.
"Tyson?" A soft female voice called as its owner pushed open the bedroom door, causing it to squeak. "Tyson?"
Tyson didn't respond and continued to look at his bed.
Everything was wrong. He knew he shouldn't be obsessing over Kai but he couldn't bring himself to care. He'd try to care but his heart was too heavy to stir up enough emotion to get him riled up. Was this what it was like to be dead?
"I hope you do not mind if I sit next to you," The female voice from earlier said.
From the corner of his eye Tyson saw a well dressed female figure take a seat next to him. So far Tyson noticed his counselor was female and wasn't too smug to sit on the floor next to a mentally ill teenager.
So far this counselor was doing better than the one Kai and him had seen almost a year ago.
Tyson's heart lurched at the memory of his first experience with a counselor, and he held his knees closer to his chest; he wanted comfort. He wished he could just forget that memory but he couldn't because if he did he would forget the kiss with Kai that came along with it.
Taking a deep breath the counselor asked, "How are you feeling, Tyson?"
His mind went blank. Tyson didn't know how to answer that question. He hadn't expected to be asked that question. His previous counselor had wasted very little time on questions and started assuming things so fast that Tyson thought it would be the same with this woman.
So how as he feeling?
His heart ached, his head was foggy and hurt, he felt like he couldn't breathe, his hair was a mess, he smelled, his clothes felt too big on him, he hated being in his room but he was afraid to go outside, he wanted to scream and pull out his hair, he wanted to break something, he felt neglected, he loathed himself for letting himself become so pitiful, and he felt like the worse person on earth because all of these things felt insignificant compared to how much missed and wanted to see Kai.
How did he feel? How did he feel?
"Horrible," Tyson whispered hoarsely from not using his voice for so long.
Hot tears ran down his face. He hadn't cried since that day six months ago. He had felt so ashamed when he saw on the cover of a newspaper a picture of him crying that he had not allowed himself to cry since that day.
Because he hadn't cried his friends and family had assumed he was recovering from Kai's departure. It was too late by the time they realized it was the opposite.
They kept assuming they knew what was going through Tyson's head until they finally gave up and handed him ff to a counselor.
It was amazing how she was the one person who was able to do the one thing he needed someone to do:
Ask him how he felt.
"One of these days I'll realize I'm so tired of feeling confused, but for now there's a reason that you're still here in my heart."
Scar Tissue-Kerli (demo)
One Year later…
Tyson ran through the terminal, ignoring the yells and indignant looks people gave him. Some people were bold enough to try and chase after him, but Tyson laughed at their pathetic attempts. He was a champion Beyblader for a reason. He wouldn't be worthy of being a champion if he couln'td outrun a couple of average people, especially today.
Today Tyson felt like he had wings. He had woken up early and had checked his e-mail. Waiting patiently in his inbox had been a letter. After reading it, and asking his counselor for advice, he was off to the airport, this time entering the terminal legally.
It was hard to believe that it had been over a year since had been to this place. Everything looked the same and Tyson could swear that he had been there only a day ago.
He wondered how his counselor would react to knowing that.
She probably wouldn't be surprised, not after hearing everything about Kai and him—everything. She knew about the abuse, about the confusion Tyson felt towards Kai, and how Kai's departure had affected him. She didn't judge Tyson but listened and gave advice when it was needed, and when comfort was needed she did everything she could to make Tyson smile, even going as far as to buy him a milkshake.
If it weren't for his counselor, Tyson wouldn't know how he felt about Kai.
It was crazy, and even Tyson couldn't completely believe it, but he loved Kai.
Okay, maybe love was too strong a word, but there was definitely something there that went deeper than friendship.
Smiling to himself, Tyson stopped in front of one of the airport gates and watched as people came out of the gate. He hoped he hadn't arrived late.
Biting his bottom lip Tyson glanced around for a clock but didn't locate one.
Sighing in defeat, he let his gaze move back to the gate and smiled.
His heart that had felt so heavy months ago was alive, warm, and soaring like a bird through the sky. It could be raining outside and it would still seem like a sunny day in Tyson's eyes.
Impatient, Tyson ran forward with his arms open wide and crashed into a firm, strong body that grunted from the impact. With no warning, Tyson wrapped his arms around the body and buried his face in the chest of the one he was hugging.
He knew there was a good chance that he was going to get yelled at, and maybe slapped on the head for his actions, but he didn't care.
Tyson was completely caught off guard when a pair of strong arms wrapped around him and held him close.
Looking up, Tyson stared up into the eyes of the one he cared about most.
"Kai?" He asked, not sure how to react to his normally cold and distant friend.
Kai looked down at him and even though he didn't smile or say a word Tyson saw the happiness glowing in Kai's eyes.
"I wasn't sure if you would get the e-mail I sent you," Kai spoke softly so no one else would hear.
Tyson smiled. "I did. Thanks for sending."
Pulling out of the embrace, Kai shoved his hands in his pants pockets and shrugged nonchalantly. "I wasn't sure if you would come."
"I almost didn't," Tyson admitted. "But after talking to someone, I knew I would sad if I wasn't the first one to greet you home."
"Home?" Kai repeated and frowned in bemusement.
Tyson's smile widened and he took a hold of Kai's hand, preparing to lead the older boy out of the airport. "Yes. Home."
She must rinse this all away. She can't hold him this way. She must rinse this all away. She can't love him this way."
Rinse—Vanessa Carlton
Dedicated to my cat, for watching over me when I wrote this story, and for keeping me sane and calm with his purrs. Dream of sunshine and chasing mice.
I hope all of you enjoyed reading this story. I am sorry it took so long to complete this (five years and seven months to the day). Please feel free to share your thoughts on this story, and once again, thank you, everyone.