Hullo folks! Fic numba four, comin' your way! This 'un is 'bout my own Irken character, Rekki! Everyone has their own, so you all knew I was gonna make one! A twisted one! 'Cause I'm twisted myself! Soo. . .Before this fic get's started, I will describe my Irken character and her SIR unit, because a long description in the story screws it up, dammit!

Rekki: Rekki is. . .Um. . .Hard to describe. . .She's a bit disturbed, a bit mental, and has QUITE a temper. And once in awhile, she'll have a "Gir" moment. She WAS a Snack cook aboard the Massive for the Tallest themselves, until she did something that includes matches. . .READ IN THE STORY, DAMMIT! Rekki's appearance? Well, she has a green right eye and a purple left eye, and curly antennae that droop down to the middle of her pack. She doesn't wear the clothes like that of ANY other Irken, as she wears a blue shirt with NEON YELLOW designs (God, that color RAWKZ!) and BAGGY pants to match. And SANDALS! Nope, no boots or gloves for HER! Yup! She's a defective, all right! Oh, and she's 5' 6" in height. Very tall for an Irken!

Zeer- Zeer is Rekki's shy, customized SIR unit, painted with the same blue and yellow designs as her shirt! And yellow eyes! (Yellow RAWKZ OUT LOUD!) How did she get him? Let's just say there were some threats made and a gun pulled out and PERHAPS someone died. . .Ahem. . .Well, anyway, Zeer has a dysfunctional voice chip, (voice box, or whatever it is!) so he can't speak. But the sad thing is, dysfunctional or not, he's waaaaaay smarter than Rekki! Okay, that takes care of the character descriptions!

Disclaimer- I don't own Invader Zim. Thank the lord, for everyone would HATE that show if I did! I SUPPOSE you could say I own Rekki and Zeer. . .But I don't own all those other BETTER characters. . .(sniff)

"Don't Play With Fire or You're Gonna Get Burned!"

'Twas a good day in Irk. . .The skies were a bright red, no giant robots were rampaging, there were plentiful snacks of snacky goodness. . .A good day. . .Yeah, well, in the streets of the largest city, the Irkens were walking to wherever they had to go in an orderly fashion. . .Everyone looked and acted the same. . .BUT WHO IS THAT?

There, among the NORMAL Irkens, was a freak-eh one! One with two different colored eyes! One wearing baggy clothes! Blue and NEON YELLOW clothes! One. . .(dare I say it?) Wearing. . .SANDALS! RUN FOR YOUR LIIIIVES! AGH! THE HORROR! THE UNADULTERATED HORROR! Woh. . .Excuse me. My apologies for that outburst. I am the author and I should therefore remain calm in such situations. Damn, where did I learn that vocabulary? The learning. . .place. . .thingy?

Anyhoo, this Irken was named Rekki! And Rekki was on her break. (Her self-proclaimed break!) With her dandy little Sir unit, Zeer! (You want a description of him? GO UP TO THOSE DESCRIPTIONS, DAMMIT!) Where was she going? Even she does not know. But she was walkin' right along! Draggin' her sandaled feet in a daze. And in this daze, she tripped right over curb. Right on her face. WIPE OUT! Wait. . .We aren't surfing. . .Sorry. . .

"DAMMIT!" Rekki cussed loudly, gaining some stares. She ignored them and yelled at her feet , telling them to be less clumsy. Yep, yelling at her own feets. . .You afraid yet? After scolding her poor feet, she got up and dusted herself off, and continued movin' right along. Zeer trailed behind, slightly nervous. He's got social anxiety like a certain author! A robot with social anxiety? I dunno. . .

"So. . .Think we should be gettin' back, Zeer? Don't want to keep the Tallest's precious snacks waiting!" (Remember, all will come clear to you if you read those character descriptions at the beginning. . .I know some of you RUDELY skip the author's note. . .) Zeer nodded eagerly. Rekki turned back the way they came and was about to start walking when. . .

"Hey! Look! MATCHES!" Rekki squealed, pointing to a discarded pack of matches. (Or whatever the Irken equivalent is. . .) She instantly picked them up and saw it had three left.

"Yesssssss!" she cheered in joy and sped into a nearby alley. Zeer reluctantly followed. Rekki lit one, and watched the match burn. She was entranced by the fiery fire-ness, and drooled slightly. Her purple and green eyes shone with the reflection. Once this match had burnt away, she went on to the next, and finally the last.

"Awwww. . .I'll miss you, fire. . ." Rekki said sadly as the match dulled. (GIR MOMENT! YAY!) She flicked away the used match and turned toward the street. She spotted a young Irken that had been watching her from the street.

"And what do YOU want?" Rekki growled. The Irken blinked and ran. Rekki rolled her eyes and picked Zeer up, and walked out of the alley, unknowing of the crime she had just committed. What was it? The still-lit match that had been flicked away fell upon a piece of paper, which ignited. And then the wind blew and the burning paper was wisped into a dumpster FULL of paper, which burst into flames. YAY! FIYAH!

Then, the flame grew until the building next to the dumpster also burst into flames. (I know, the buildings ARE probably metal or whatever, but hey! I'm the author and I can make impossible things POSSIBLE! WOO! I'M A MAGICIAN NOW! FEAR ME! I'M GONNA TURN YOU INTO A SQUASH!) Soon the whole city was alight, and chaos broke out! All because off one itsy bitsy match lit by Rekki!

So later, after the fires were all put out 'n stuff, we go back to Rekki, who's doin' her thing and cookin' up snacks with her apron on. Until. . .

"Rekki! Anybody here by the name of Rekki?" someone shouted in the kitchen.

Rekki whirled around and saw an Irken officer in the doorway. "That's me!" she shouted in reply. The officer spotted her and ran up to her.

"Ah, good! Come with me! The Almighty Tallest would like to speak with you!" the officer said.

"Uh. . .Why the Hell do they want to see me?" Rekki questioned the officer who only came up to her shoulder.

"You'll find out when you get there! Now COME!" the Irken said, gesturing for Rekki to follow. She did as she was told and the officer led her into the Almighty Tallest's room, where Red and Purple stood in the center. (SQUEE! I LUB YOU TWO!) The two of them looked peeved about something, and glared at Rekki when she entered.

"YOU!" exclaimed Purple when she walked up to them.

"What the bloody Hell is going on? What did I do?" Rekki said in a confused tone.

"Oh, I don't know, you only BURNT DOWN HALF OF IRK!" snarled Red.

Rekki raised an invisible eyebrow. "Are you two playing a prank on me? 'Cause I have NO idea of what you are talking about!"

"No, we are NOT playing a prank! But pranks are fun. . .Remember that time. . ." said Purple, beginning to reminisce.

"Pur, WE HAVE SCOLDING TO DO! Remember things LATER!" Red growled.

"'K. . ." mumbled Purple.

"So, how did I burn down Irk?" asked Rekki, beginning to get a tad nervous. She remembered the matches and was wondering if that had to do with it.

Red pointed at a slightly burnt Irken in the corner of the room. "THAT Irken says he saw an Irken PLAYING with matches in the very alley this fire started! And his description matches yours right on the monies!"

Rekki remembered the Irken that had been watching her earlier that day. "Shit. . ." she muttered under her breath.

"What kind of sicko plays with MATCHES?" said Red.

"I do. . ." muttered Purple. Red and Rekki looked at him strangely. "I MEAN NOTHING!" He quickly added.

"Um. . .How do you know it was me? Ma-maybe something else started the fire!" Rekki said nervously.

"No. It was you." Purple said flatly.

"DAMMIT!" Rekki cussed, "Hey. . .Wait. . .How many people died in this fire?"

"Around ONE THOUSAND! How do you feel about that?" Purple snapped.

"WOH! THAT'S. . .Cool! I can't believe I killed all those people with ONE match! Man, I RAWK!" said Rekki joyfully. Red and Purple looked at her and blinked, confused.

"O. . .K. . .And the punishment for all those Irkens dying and the city being burnt down 'n stuff is. . .Um. . .Let's see. . .How 'bout banishment?" Red pondered. Rekki's face turned white at the word "banishment", or at least a lighter shade of green.

"Yeah! That sounds good to me!" exclaimed Purple.

Rekki looked at them, desperate for a way out of being banished. "But. . .But. . .What about all the times I cooked those DEELEESHIOUS snacks for you? Huh? Huh?"

"Uh. . ." began Red.

"YOUR SNACKS SUCK!" exclaimed Purple.

"WHAT? HOW DARE YOU! (beep) YOU!" fumed Rekki. No one insults HER snacks!

"Well, they DO! They're all burnt. . .And icky. . .ANOTHER REASON FOR BANISHMENT!" yelped Purple.

Rekki was about to insult Purple when she was cut of by Red. "Okay. . .Off you go. . .Gather your things and meet us at the. . .place where the vessels leave!" Rekki glared a death glare at the two off them before returning to her quarters. She gathered all of her things and stuck them in a suitcase, and looked for Zeer. She found him reading a book and told him to get up. Zeer looked up at her, questioningly.

"I got banished Zeer. . ." she mumbled. Zeer would have frowned, but he didn't have a mouth, so his eyes "frowned" instead. Rekki left her room and headed to the place she was told to go, with Zeer following sadly behind. Once Rekki got there, she saw the Tallest waiting by and old Voot Cruiser, that barely looked flyable.

"So where are we going to banish her to?" Red whispered.

Purple pondered. "OOH! OOH! I KNOW! EARTH! WITH ZIM! Maybe she can burn down Earth and Zim will go with it! That'll kill two birds with one stone!"

"EXCELLENT IDEA, PUR! I like the way you think. . .Sometimes. . ." said Red with a grin.

Red looked to Rekki. "So. . .Rekki. . .You'll be going to Earth. . .I put the Voot on a locked course to Earth, so there is no way you can change it. . .Now in you go!" Rekki frowned and got in, and Zeer hopped in as well, and the Voot automatically started. As it rose, Rekki gave the Tallest the Irken equivalent of "the finger", and she sped off. And so, the SECOND nightmare BEGINS!

TO BE CONTINUED!

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Like it so far? It SHALL get funnier, with cookie dough, banana man, and ZIM! And GIR! Yay! Although this story will need a lot of thought. . .So. . .R&R! I need suggestions for stuff and the correction of mistakes, AND what you think of this story! Flames are accepted, as they get a good laugh outta me. CIAO!