Disclaimer: I don't own the ninja turtles, nor Splinter.

A/N: This may not prove funny to any of you, but it was just a plot bunny I found running around. Frankly, I thought it needed out.

It was a Monday.

And as with Mondays, four subterranean sewer dwellers were having a hard time getting entertainment out of anything. Master Splinter had gone out for the day to scrounge for food, and mid afternoon found three of the brothers playing a heated game of Monopoly.

"Hey, Donnie, gimme a Chance card."

"Raph, haven't you ever heard of please?"

"No, and even if I did, I wouldn't use it. Gimme the Chance card." Don sighed and rolled his eyes as he reached for one of the cards and threw it at Raph. The red-garbed turtle deftly caught it and read it. "Go…go…um, Donnie, what's this word?" He proffered it to his brainiac brother, who read it.

"That's directly, Raph. You have to go to jail."

"Aw, rats." He glowered and grabbed his little Sai token and stabbed it into the jail space.

Leo wrinkled his snout. "How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?"

"Don't be talkin', Splinter Jr. I've seen you run your sword through stuff when you're mad."

Don grabbed the dice and threw it down onto the board. "Can we just play a civil game for once, guys?" he pleaded as Leo and Raph exchanged venomous glares. He sighed and moved his car forward three spaces. "Anybody own the electric company?"

Raph smirked and held up the deed to the company. "Right here. Roll the dice and gimme the dough."

"If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times, put a house on it! Nobody can tell if you own it or not!"

"Exactly." Don groaned and rolled the dice again, getting a five. "Er, how much are you giving me again?" he asked, scratching his head.

"Twenty bucks," Leo said promptly.

"I didn't ask you." While Don performed the transaction, several frustrated grunts came from the kitchen.

"What's Mike doing in there?" Don and Raph exchanged glances. "Guys…"

"You stupid thing! I swear, one more resist and I'll run you through!" Mike shouted. "C'mon, crack under my will!" Leo looked absolutely appalled. "Get…off…" he grunted.

"What's he doing?" Leo demanded.

Raph smirked before rolling the dice. "Trying to open the peanut butter jar."