Hi everyone! This is my first foray into the FOP realm of fanfiction, and I hope it's a good one. This idea's been brewing for a while, and it's taken an extended vacation from work for my muse to get anything done! Figgers, eh? This is only proof positive that I should quit and write for a living, LOL… anyway, on with the fic!
DISCLAIMER: Butch Hartman ownz all, and I hope he gets back into the FOP groove to fix up Cozzie and Wandie. X3 I'm just tying several incidents together for fun! Wheee!
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CHAPTER ONE: The Royal Treatment
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It was anything but a typical Friday at Carl Poofy-Pants High. For one thing, the students hardly seemed to care if anyone smacked into a fake door, and for another, most of them forgot to poof in and out of class altogether! A constant buzz floated from room to room, not from fairy wings, but excited chatter being passed down the line. By the time first period had finished, half the school had heard the news, and the other half caught wind of it before long afterwards.
As soon as classes were done for the weekend, nearly every student poofed outside at once, and the buzzing chatter swelled into a roar. With homework blissfully left behind, the young fairies were free to discuss their preparations for the big event. This was not to be taken lightly - when Blonda held parties, fairies made reservations! And her party that night, she claimed, would be her greatest party yet!
Naturally, only the cream of the social crop were invited to attend; she would be playing hostess to various celebrity guests, and no one wanted to be embarrassed in their presence. Still, invited or not, the excitement was infectious, and it sparked plans for low-key parties for the "less fortunate". Everyone was in high spirits and ready to boogie down 'til dawn!
… well, almost everyone.
In the midst of the schoolyard hubbub, three trendy fairy girls observed the excitement with obvious satisfaction. They were the closest members of Blonda's clique, and were responsible for spreading the news like wildfire. Passing students waved to them in hopes of befriending the girls, and several boys bashfully asked them to be their dates; alas, they were all ignored (unless they were football jocks) as the girls gabbed to each other, waiting for Blonda to meet them there.
"Wow, the whole school is totally pumped for tonight!" the purple-haired of the trio marveled. "You definitely know how to, like, work the grapevine, Chantelle!"
The girl next to her, sporting a tiny bow atop her long orchid hair, grinned and examined her nails in a smug fashion. "Like poofing a discus into a butterfly," she bragged.
Suddenly, the third fairy unleashed a piercing squeal, and every fairy within a five mile radius of the girl cringed painfully. "Tonight is SO gonna rock!" she cried, tossing her rosy hair. "I mean, did you see how many dreamy guys Blonda invited? And she has a swimming pool! I'm gonna die!"
Chantelle quirked an eyebrow. "Jeanie, the live performance by the HenningStreet Guys means nothing whatsoever to you?"
She simply giggled, "Oh, Lacey knows what I mean.. fill her in, girl!"
Lacey's teal eyes glittered. "Well, thanks to certain connections, Blonda's able to invite.. him."
At this, all three girls shrieked and flew in excited circles. They couldn't contain their delight, until a loud POOF! snapped them out of their fangirlish reverie. The dust cleared, revealing the Party Queen herself. But this time, she wasn't alone. There, holding her hand and wiping her eyes, was her frumpy twin sister!
Chantelle spoke up first. "Hey Blonda, 'bout time! We totally need to get some shopping done, remember?"
"Yeah, like, what kept you?" Jeanie asked.
"And what's with her?" Lacey frowned, gesturing to the less-hot of the twins.
To their surprise, Blonda leapt to her sister's defense. "Cool it girls, we've got an emergency here!" She regarded Wanda sympathetically, while the others were slightly repulsed. Tearstains ran down her face, she was constantly sniffling, and her dowdy yellow skirt was wrinkled from clenching it nervously.
Blonda's clique glanced at one another, clearly unimpressed. "It's just your unpopular sister having a typical teenage breakdown," Lacey observed dryly. "It's no big!"
Jeanie, however, scrutinized Wanda up and down. "But still… she, like, never has breakdowns. Maybe it really is devastating!"
"Pssh, yeah right," scoffed Chantelle, folding her arms. "Like getting an A- in Alchemy or something? This is Wanda we're talking about! Her 'devastation' is every other fairy's dream come true!" The trio giggled in agreement, not noticing Blonda's frown deepen.
Wanda, meanwhile, began to sob even harder. She wrapped her arms around herself tightly and began to drift away. Blonda quickly caught her sister around the waist and actually hugged her close. Then, with a protective air not seen since their elementary days, the blonde twin shot a glare so venomous at her friends, they hushed up without question.
"You girls have all the sensitivity of Jorgen von Strangle on a rule-enforcing binge!" she snarled, getting right in their terrified faces. "Look at my sister! Look at me! We're both growing worry lines and ruining our makeup in the process! An emergency of this caliber demands sympathy and understanding, and if you can't deliver, we'll just find another clique who will!"
Jeanie, Lacey and Chantelle gasped and clung to each other, fearing for their social status as Blonda's closest friends.
"N-no, sis.." Wanda mumbled for the first time. She was gently tugging herself away. "I-it's okay, I don't need them to-"
"Trust me, Wanda, milking this stuff is totally worth it," Blonda reassured, then returned to glaring at her friends.
"We're really sorry, Blonda!" they chorused. "We'll totally make it up to you! And Wanda!" they hastily added with a grin.
A tense moment passed between them – Blonda appeared to think it over, the girls started to sweat, and Wanda felt a bit awkward. Thankfully, the popular blonde broke the moment with a winning smile and gushed, "Aww, I can't stay mad at you gals. You're forgiven!"
They breathed a collective sigh of relief. "Thanks Blonda!"
"Now," Jeanie started, "if this is as bad as you say, we should probably give you gals nothing but the best."
"Yeah, a real self-esteem booster!" Lacey joined in.
"And something to get us all ready for the party at the same time!" suggested Chantelle.
Blonda giggled, "You totally read my mind! Wanda, hold on to your wings…" She held her sister's hand again; Wanda had stopped crying by now, and the look on her face was one of fearful confusion.
"… and prepare for the Royal Treatment!" the entire clique cheered. They waved their wands and left the schoolyard behind in a trendy puff of smoke.
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They reappeared in the Fairy World Mega-Mall, and the "Royal Treatment" began. It was a well-deserved title, in the opinion of many girls. The twins were treated to ice-cream first of all – nothing fueled a shopping spree like a dose of sugar! As they polished off their treats, the girls scoped out cute guys from a bench and discussed the latest gossip. Afterwards, it was off to buy jewelry, makeup, and top designer clothes from Fairyposa. Blonda was thrilled beyond belief, and all traces of worry were gone from her face.
The only downer, in fact, was Wanda herself. She'd loved her ice-cream, no doubts there! But she barely paid attention to the attractive fairies passing her by, and she'd tuned out the gossip by poofing up a novel from home. The most jewelry and makeup she'd purchased were a green ponytail holder and more pink lipstick. And she flatly refused to buy any new clothes for herself! The girls had been patient this whole time, but that was the last straw!
"What the heck is your deal?" Blonda screamed at her sister. "You should be changing your self-image to accommodate the latest trends and grab the attention of every male fairy you run into! That's the whole point of this trip!"
"Yeah, whatever happened to being, like, totally devastated?" Jeanie demanded. "The Royal Treatment is scientifically proven to turn your life in a new, much more popular direction!"
"That'd make anyone feel better!" Chantelle insisted. "And you should be honored we're doing this for you at all!"
"Yeah!" Lacey declared, having nothing more constructive to add.
Wanda glanced back and forth between the angry girls. She held up her hands in self-defense and gave an apologetic smile. "Hey, don't get me wrong! I really do appreciate what you're doing for me – thank you, by the way – but I just don't feel the need to change my look."
Lacey raised her eyebrows in surprise, then turned to her fellow clique-ers and muttered, "She is the smart one, right?"
"As if," they scoffed.
Blonda dumped her various shopping bags on the floor and stormed up to her twin. "I don't think you quite understand why we're here! It was YOU who came crying to ME about a certain someone! YOU came to ME for help! So I'm helping you! But if you don't take my advice and burn that stupid dress come party time, you'll never get Wandissimo back!" Realizing what she just said, Blonda clapped a hand to her mouth, as if she'd revealed a dirty scandalous secret.
There was a loud gasp as Blonda's friends dropped their own shopping bags with a crunch. "They broke up?" they cried.
"Oh my gosh!" said Jeanie. "No wonder you were upset!"
"How can you show your face in public anymore?" Lacey wailed.
"You were dumped by.. him…" Chantelle swooned.
Wanda only rolled her eyes. "Promise me none of you will become school counselors," she sighed.
"Um, hello? Is anyone here thinking about the problem I'm facing now?" demanded Blonda. When she had their attention, she continued, "My connection to Wandissimo is totally severed! He won't wanna be in the same house as his frumpy ex-girlfriend!"
"Golly, I forgot this was all about your needs," grumbled Wanda.
Blonda whirled around and fired back, "Hey, I'm not being the selfish one here! This is your chance to clean up your act, float with a new crowd that's actually worth your time, and get Wandissimo back! I'm doing you a favor!"
Blonda's friends nodded in agreement. "For sure!"
But Wanda was beside herself. She grit her teeth and grabbed her sister by the shoulders. "Now you listen to me! I don't think YOU quite understand why I came to you! All I wanted was comfort! A little understanding and sympathy! I don't need favors from the popular crowd! I have absolutely no intention of going back to Wandissimo anyway, because I'M the one who dumped HIM!"
It was as if all oxygen had been sucked out of the room and replaced with helium – the high-pitched cry of "SAY WHAAAAAT?" just about deafened every shopper in the mall. The popular girls backed away from Wanda as though she had a disease… except for Jeanie, who simply passed out.
"But you were crying about it! Remember? Devastation?" Lacey reminded her. "Of course, I'd be feeling totally stupid and heartbroken if I'd done the same thing…"
Wanda shrugged. "You said it yourself Lacey, I was having a typical teenage breakdown. I've been stressed out lately, and when I dumped Wandissimo, it was kinda overwhelming.. you know how hormones are," she said matter-of-factly.
"How… how could you?" stammered Blonda. "He was.. he was the reason you had any popularity at all!"
"He was also a rude jerk who flirted with every fairy who made eyes at him!" Wanda countered.
"Tch, duh!" Chantelle exclaimed. "Why do you think he was popular?"
"Not that his chiseled, macho physique is any less important.." Lacey pointed out with a dreamy smile.
"Well, he seemed to think his muscles were the most important thing in the universe!" grumbled Wanda. "Even more than his girlfriend! And don't think it could be different for any of you popular girls either, he'll treat any girl the same way!"
"Oh? And why's that?" snapped Blonda, suddenly angry. "Do you honestly think we're on equal grounds here? Maybe he'd find a girl more important if she wasn't such a frumpy know-it-all nag!"
"Well, you're welcome to try!" Wanda shouted back. "Although I doubt he'd like a snobby drama-queen! So don't come crying to me if he isn't the perfect fairy of your dreams!"
"Fine! So long as you don't EVER come crying to me again, especially when you become old, lonely and unwanted!"
Wanda's eyes grew wide at this. She backed away, unable to meet her sister's gaze, and shakily drew her wand. "Don't worry," she choked out after a moment. ".. I won't."
She briefly saw Blonda's surprised face before poofing away.
Several long seconds passed. Blonda's friends, having watched the whole thing, didn't know how to break the dramatic atmosphere. It was finally Chantelle who approached her; she was floating rigidly, staring at the spot Wanda had once been. "Uh… Blonda?" she chanced. "We should, um.. we should get ready for the party, don't'cha think? I mean, we're totally popular! Wandissimo will still come! Maybe he'll wanna hook up with you and, like, rub it in your sister's face or something!"
"... yeah." Blonda didn't show her face to her friends; she simply picked up her bags and floated ahead. Chantelle and Lacey shrugged, and after reviving Jeanie, they followed.
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I hope that was relatively good! If you guys like it, I'll post more, and if you don't.. well, I'll post more anyway. XD I'll take opinions either way! So please leave a review!
Next up: Lost in her thoughts, Wanda finds herself at a diner with a few friends. Maybe something there will cheer her up! What could it possibly be? Whether you can guess or not, stick around to see what happens!