A/N: This is part 2 of the May, 2006 "episode" of this story, begun in Chapter 3. A brief recap follows, but it won't really make much sense unless you read Ch. 3. Chapters 1 - 2 are a separate episode so not essential to follow this installment. However, this is a part of the NCIS-Dark Angel crossover cousins-universe, which will need explanation if you haven't stumbled on it yet. A brief explanation may be found in Chapter 1's A/N.
A/A: As in, "author's apology" – I really am sorry it's taken so long to update. I realize those who started following this crossover way back when may not be around here much anymore! I'm still wavering between keeping this cousins-fic in the NCIS section and either moving it to DA, or to one of their official crossover sections (which I'm afraid would be the kiss of death.)
For those of you who do read – thank you. Would love to hear your thoughts – it would be good to know you're still out there.
Disclaimer: NCIS and Dark Angel property of others. No financial gain made from borrowing them.
Recap: Only days after Gibbs regains his memory, only to quit and head to Mexico soon after, Tony's cousin Logan arrives in Washington – as far as Tony knows, only for the day on a layover before he flies to Belgium for the summer. However, with Tony swamped with the new workload and responsibilities of suddenly becoming team leader, the newly minted college sophomore announces that he's staying in the District for the summer.
Saturday, May 13, 2006
NCIS, 9:06 a.m.
The silence was pin-drop oppressive, and Logan wished he could drop through the floor and disappear, given the flash of – what was it, panic? – he'd just seen in his cousin's eyes. He's overwhelmed with everything that has happened and I'm just one more responsibility that he thinks he has to take on, when he doesn't feel ready for any of it. In the next moment Logan saw two more changes in the eyes he knew so well – Tony's realization of exactly what his gut response had been – and that his favorite cousin had seen it for what it was...
So just as Tony himself would have done, Logan started talking, eyes everywhere but on Tony – to save face, to save the day, to deflect the pain he felt, to give his cousin a way out of the responsibility he didn't need to take on and any guilt he felt for not having time for him. "A... and the way they were talking, it sounds like they are going to have me running me all over the place." As he began, Logan was keenly aware of two things: that his voice cracked a little in his clumsy scramble to diffuse the awkwardness his sudden announcement had created, and that, no matter how she'd tried to seem inconspicuous, Ziva was still nearby, as if to be ready for whatever her team – or her team leader – needed. "So I'm probably not going to be around much anyway, and won't have all that mich time to come hang out with you, even when you have some time..."
When Logan dared to look up again at his cousin he saw another expression shift, and a look of regret and self-reproach in the eyes that looked so much like his own. Between the fact that Tony was an experienced investigator and that Logan just wasn't all that good a liar, not when it was to someone who mattered, Logan knew that Tony wasn't buying a moment of it and saw through all his babbling. Tony took a step closer. "Logan, I ..."
"Special Agent Dinozzo – "
At the interruption, both pair of green eyes looked up to the catwalk overlooking the bullpen to see the NCIS Director looking down at her newest team leader. As soon as eye contact was made, she offered a slight, no-nonsense tip of her head back toward her office before turning to stride away, knowing he'd follow. When Tony looked back to Logan his expression of frustration had returned – but this time, for the interruption.
"Another hour, Logan, and I'm all yours," he promised, his demeanor serious. "Okay?"
The younger man swallowed the insistent niggle of hurt he'd felt and nodded quickly, not trusting his voice for more than he'd already said. Seeing it, DiNozzo kicked himself yet again for letting the strain and exhaustion get to him so much that his cousin now thought he wasn't welcome. Faced with the kid's sad expression and the Director's certain impatience, he did the only thing he could think to do at that moment– he suddenly threw his arms around Logan and hugged him tight. Neither cousin saw the pair of Israeli eyebrows pop up slightly in surprise at the unexpected action.
"It's great that you're here – you'll help things not suck as bad as they would otherwise," Tony was saying, low enough that only Logan would hear his candid admission about the rocky transition period he knew was ahead. But as quickly as he'd hugged him, Tony then pulled back to arm's length, still gripping his shoulders as he looked his cousin deep in his eyes. "It's gonna be great," he insisted. "But I've got to get back with the Director, and finish up some things she wants me up to speed on." This time Logan's silent nod was accompanied by a more accepting smile, and Tony pressed, "just ... have a seat at my desk here, and wait for me, okay? The monitor back here gets only ZNN, but you can catch up on the news..."
This time Logan's smile was even more genuine, touched by his cousin's efforts to find him something to kill the time while he waited. "Go," he nodded. "I'll wait."
He was rewarded by a relieved slap on his shoulder as DiNozzo spun to jog around to the stairs. As he disappeared from view, Logan sighed, his thoughts jumping ahead to the summer. Even before he'd left Connecticut Logan had worried that Tony would be disappointed that he wasn't going to Belgium, as much as his cousin had seemed so impressed with his going. But he had assumed Tony would be glad to have him nearby. He hadn't stopped to think about how much more responsibility Tony had now, how it had all come up so suddenly, and how, of course, he took it all deeply to heart. Logan wondered if there was any way to make the summer easier for him...
"If you are like your cousin..." Logan looked up to see Ziva standing in front of him suddenly, her large brown eyes kind with understanding, "...you will have run out of your home at the break of dawn today without eating, scrambling with just enough time to catch your flight, and you are now famished."
Logan relaxed a little with her willingness to pretend the last few moments hadn't happened, and shrugged, "well, I do it enough that I get used to my stomach growling."
"But you have at least an hour to wait – and with Director Shepard, it is as likely it will be ninety minutes as sixty. There is a coffee shop not far away and they have some food as well, maybe to ... tide you over, yes? We can be back easily within the hour."
Logan hesitated – an hour with the attractive, fascinating woman sounded like just about the best idea he'd ever heard, but knew she was probably just being a good host in Tony's stead, and thought he actually blushed a little. "Thank you, Ziva – but I'm sure you have work you need to do ..."
"Some, but nothing that cannot wait until Monday. And I am in the mood for a chai, so I will be going anyway. You would be keeping me company."
That was enough for Logan – he stood and grinned at the beautiful woman before him, his mood definitely lightened with her offer. "Then, yeah, sounds good – but my treat – a thank-you for coming to the airport to get me."
"But you have not even begun working yet – I cannot let you pay if you are still a poor student..." she replied smoothly, her eyes twinkling. "I will pay this time, as a welcome to the city. Once you begin working ... I will let you pay the next time."
Logan's grin in response was dazzling, as he dared to consider the promise of a "next time" Ziva dangled before him. "Okay," nodded, not mentioning the fact that the internship didn't even cover his expenses for the summer. As he followed her very fine form out of the bullpen toward the elevator, he wondered how many times his cousin had exactly this same view...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
The Bean & Bagel, 9:40 a.m.
The coffee shop was just off the Navy Yard's premises, and the morning had warmed enough to promise a beautiful day. Logan agreed with Ziva's suggestion that they take their drinks and his generous slice of banana bread outside to sit at one of the tables in front of the place. He suspected that her friendly chatter wasn't really typical of her, but offered to ease his awkward arrival – and the thought made him even more infatuated with her than he'd been when first seeing her. As they spoke, he found himself trying to remember Tony had ever implied any interest in her – and when he couldn't really recall any, he wondered if his usually perceptive cousin hadn't fallen for her as fast as he had, or he simply kept it to himself. Maybe she's friendlier with a lost kid, too, Logan reminded himself. She'd probably laugh her ass off if she knew what you were thinking, Cale...
But no matter why she was being so nice to him, Logan found himself relaxing around her, and before long the discussion turned to the main thing they had in common: his cousin.
"He is not one for talking about himself," Ziva explained. "Oh, he talks incessantly, and makes people think that he is his favorite subject, but he does not say much about what really is going on in his life. He avoids much detail about his earlier jobs, or his family and growing up." She saw the understanding gleam in Logan's eyes, and went on, "yet those rare times he did – maybe on a long drive or stakeout – often he mentioned you, a small comment or memory. The little things he would talk about were very sweet – it reminded me of the memories I have of my younger sister, whom I loved very much. It was clear the way he spoke how he felt about you. And then, when you were scheduled to fly in this weekend," she smiled, "he was able to forget about everything happening here to brag for twenty minutes about your year at university." She grinned. "He is really very proud of you."
Logan's self-conscious beam made it clear how much her words pleased him. "Yeah, well, you should hear me talk about him," Logan admitted, reminded of the bond he had with his cousin. "My friends either think he must either be able to walk on water, or that I'm remembering some super hero from a comic book and not a real person."
Ziva saw that the younger man was easing past the hurt she'd seen in him earlier in those moments with Tony in the bullpen, but wondered if he understood where his cousin's reaction came from. Certain that Tony would never have reacted that way under normal circumstances, Ziva felt the need to explain the circumstances of her partner's recent promotion. "And he probably does not tell you all the details of his job, especially not in recent days?" At Logan's soft, ironic snort of agreement, she offered softly, "so he has probably not told you how Gibbs' leaving has affected us ... especially him." She paused, and smiled faintly, "Tony looked up to Gibbs as he would a father, definitely as his mentor. And not only did he lose that mentor suddenly, both physically here, with us, but ... psychologically. Gibbs ..." She paused, then explained, "Gibbs has not fully recovered from his injuries. He was in a coma, for several days, and was without much of his memory of several more. While his memory is mostly back, there are still some holes, and his emotional recovery..." She shrugged. "I do not believe that Gibbs would have just walked away if he had been himself," she said as much for herself as for Logan, shaking her head in her remaining disbelief. "If he had not quit, I believe the Director would have forced him to take medical leave for a time, because he was still not himself. But this way..." She trailed off, and shrugged again. "I believe Tony feels as if he is suddenly alone with all his new responsibilities."
Logan nodded, looking strangely accepting, almost as if that sort of alone-ness was a familiar emotion – something she had not seen from many Americans. "But the rest of the team is still together, right?" he asked. "You can all be there for him?"
She smiled sadly. "Yes, but ... sometimes, we do not remember as we should, what this must mean for Tony, more than for us. Or when we do – Tony feels that he must become Gibbs, to be strong and certain and infallible. And that means not letting us know if we can help him handle things – or if he would like us to."
Logan smirked softly. "Yeah, sounds like Tony. He can be stubborn about admitting he needs a hand, sometimes," Logan agreed, then mused, "he talks about all of you, a lot – the way you say he talks about me. You can help him through whatever he has going on."
Ziva accepted Logan's words with a soft smile and a nod, but remembered that this morning, Logan needed a hand as much as his cousin did. She got back on topic. "But for your time here, this summer – I think when things settle down a little more he will have more time – and be very glad to know you are so close by."
Logan's shy smile returned, and he nodded. "I hope so," he said simply.
"I do not know what he has scheduled here for the rest of the weekend, but the team is not on duty. Perhaps you two can get some time before you start your internship, yes?"
"Well, I'd rather not take up his time if he needs time to decompress, or has too much to do – with a whole summer here, there's no rush. We'll find time; I'll be here for a while," he said with as much conviction as he could manage.
"But it is good to make a point to get together since you know it is just the summer." At the soft insistence in Ziva's voice as she urged him not to let the summer slip by, Logan suddenly remembered that she'd used the past tense when she talked about her sister – I loved her very much, were her words. Logan couldn't think of any other interpretation for the words, and felt a wave of sorrow for the woman, understanding more than most nineteen year olds could about the loss of someone so close...
Saturday, May 13, 2006
NCIS, 10:45 a.m.
When Tony came down the stairs from MTAC he found his cousin not at his desk where he'd left him, but leaning over Ziva's shoulder as the pair looked intently at something on her computer screen. He'd had been released for the rest of the weekend, he suspected in part because the Director had seen the resemblance and asked about his visitor, but it didn't make DiNozzo feel much better about how Logan's visit had started off. Seeing Logan looking more relaxed, apparently thanks to Ziva, he felt a bit more settled, although knew he had serious amends to make.
"Yeah, they're a little clunky, but very solid – probably why they use them for lessons and rentals," he heard Logan saying as he approached the pair. "Once you get the hang of the sails with one of these, it's pretty easy to switch to a sleeker boat."
Logan looked up at his cousin's approach, his eyes still able to hold hope when he saw Tony, still carrying that unconscious look of hero-worship that had never quite gone away, even as the child reached manhood. Serious amends, DiNozzo reminded himself guiltily upon seeing it...
But Ziva had looked up too, and announced, "I was telling Logan of my plans to learn to sail this summer, and apparently he too is an expert?" At the men's matching smirks in response, she studied Tony, slyly skeptical. "He talks as if he knows something about it, and tells me you do know how to sail as well. So perhaps you were telling me the truth."
Tony clapped his hand over his heart, dramatically. "Ziva, you wound me! How could you doubt me?"
She simply rolled her eyes. "So this means that I will have two potential coaches as I learn to sail." Ziva beamed confidently at both men, leaving both with the feeling that she wasn't likely to need all that much coaching.
"Just don't take it out on us when you love it so much you start craving your own boat," Tony warned. "You're a federal employee and that's definitely an above-paygrade purchase. Of course, maybe if you still get a paycheck from Mossad, too..." Tony baited.
"Maybe enough for a very small boat," she teased back. "A very small, used boat."
"Ha, a boat to borrow, Logan!" DiNozzo crowed at his cousin. "Let's make sure to get her hooked as soon as possible." He was further relieved to see Logan's ready grin in return – even though it didn't help his guilt much, Tony saw that Logan had bounced back from the hurt fairly quickly and apparently forgave him. He was reminded that, with his cousin, on the handful of occasions he'd done something to disappoint him or hurt him, the pain was much longer lasting on Tony's side for causing the hurt than on Logan's on the receiving end. He trusts and loves you that much, idiot, DiNozzo reminded himself again. Never forget it... He tipped his head back toward the office he'd just left and said, "the Director seems to think my brain's full and anything else she'd have to say would just roll off without soaking in – so I'm off her radar until 0700 Monday morning." He raised his eyebrows. "What if we get you settled into Washington?"
"Not without a hug first!" The relative quiet of the bullpen was broken with Abby's enthusiastic rasp. "Logan!" Tony thought he heard a returned greeting from the teenager somewhere amid the arms and tats and dog collar. "Tony, I can't believe you'd sneak him out of here without my getting to say hi..."
"We would have stopped by the lab, Abs. Besides," he grinned as Abby released her hold on his cousin, "Logan's staying here this summer." He found that the idea, workload or not, pleased him more and more each time he repeated it.
"In the States, or – here, in Washington?"
Logan grinned and nodded, "yeah, here," resulting in another bone-crushing, Abby hug.
"That's awesome!" she crowed, "you'll be right here with Tony." Almost as quickly, though, Abby then pulled back to look at him, "but ... what happened to Belgium? I thought you had some internship starting..."
"Got a better one with the Post, here." Logan began to think that his decision might just work out after all. His words – and expression – earned him a third exuberant hug from Abby. In turn, Abby earned a silent word of thanks from DiNozzo for her enthusiasm and honesty – and her completely unsolicited comment thrown at Logan that his being here, with his cousin, was a good thing.
Abby finally stopped squeezing the kid and held him again at arm's length. "You need anything at all this summer, you just let Tony or one of us know. We're family, and you're Tony's family, so ours too."
Logan's grin was wide, but didn't hide the bit of touched surprise that he felt with her words. "Thank you."
Tony up behind Abby to squeeze her shoulder affectionately. "Thanks, Abs. Right now I'm going to get Logan home and squared away. You need me, call, okay?"
"Okay, but you've seen everything I have so far, so unless I have a brilliant new idea I won't have to."
"That's why I said to call, Abs." DiNozzo's grin was almost as easygoing as it used to be. "You always have brilliant new ideas." Turning away from the beam his compliment had elicited from his forensic scientist – his, not Gibbs' anymore, his irritating brain just had to remind him – he turned to Logan to say, "let's get out of here."
As Logan nodded, and Abby took the moment to give Logan's arm another squeeze and tell him how great it was to have him in town, Tony turned to look at Ziva, still at her computer and watching it all in amusement. "Thank you," he mouthed silently, with all the sincerity he had in him.
She nodded in wordless acknowledgment, not missing the importance of her assistance that morning. In the past several days she had seen even more layers of her complex partner – first, the responsible, serious team leader struggling to take on responsibility for which he was truly ready, but in circumstances that left so much to be desired, and now this, the concerned and doting elder cousin, seen not only in his concern for an unguarded reaction but through the eyes of the young man who saw Tony as his hero. Much to consider, she mused.
Abby finished her welcome and bounced away, leaving Logan to turn to Ziva now, too. "Ziva – thanks for the ride and the coffee – and the company. Maybe..." he shrugged, a bit shyly, "if you do need some extra sailing instruction, I could help – to say thanks."
"I will remember that," Ziva smiled, "but it was my pleasure, Logan. I enjoyed meeting you."
Logan reddened only slightly this time, and returned her words. In the next moment, Tony caught Logan's eye and tipped his head toward the elevator. "C'mon, cuz, before anyone else grabs us."
The elevator arrived quickly, largely unused on Saturday, and as they got on they were suddenly each very aware it was the first time they were alone on this visit. Tony was determined not to leave Logan with the wrong idea from their morning, and no matter that it seemed as if the kid was past it all, he wouldn't trust something so important to assumption. "Logan, I'm really glad you'll be here this summer. It's perfect – and if I had any idea the Post had such a hotshot placement I would have been after you to sign up..."
Logan took in his words but struggled with them – apparently for all he'd seen and heard, he was still uncertain about their sincerity. "They really did make it sound like it could be a lot of late nights, even some weekends," Logan said doggedly, his eyes cast away. He was an old hand at protecting himself from the callous indifference of his aunt and uncle, wrapping himself in denial and forced explanations for their crass comments, and he knew for certain that, unlike them, Tony never meant to hurt him. It was just the circumstances and bad timing, he insisted to himself. As the elevator stopped and the two stepped out into the garage, he went on, "it might be that our free times just don't match up anyway. No problem with playing things by ear."
DiNozzo had watched closely as his cousin still fought the effects of his surprise and apparent rejection, however momentary. With Logan's words and his brave attempt to make it all seem like no big deal, Tony stopped abruptly and laid a quiet hand on Logan's shoulder. "Hey – " He dipped his head a little as he sought his cousin's eyes, waiting until Logan looked back up at him. "I know how it seemed to you, how I reacted when you told me – and I'm sorry. You have to know it wasn't you, right? Well, other than the fact that I could blow off anyone else and not worry about it." He allowed a bit of a lopsided smile to rise, then fade before he went on, his tone serious, "there's no one I'd rather have around on my free time, to hang out or shoot some hoops or whatever. It's just that this job used to be pretty much 24/7. Even when we were off duty for a day or two we never went anywhere without our phones, in case Gibbs needed us." He was quiet for a moment, clearly imagining the weeks and months ahead, before he continued, "now that I'm team leader, it means all that and more time here, probably – with the director, or catching up with reports or new leads..." His voice trailed again before he said, "the only downside about having you nearby is the thought that I probably can't take advantage of it as much as I'd like – and even less than I would if Gibbs were still here."
Tony continued assessing the younger man as he looked away, considering his words. DiNozzo couldn't tell if he he'd managed to undo the damage he'd done ninety minutes earlier. "Logan," he urged, finally, "have I ever lied to you?"
DiNozzo understood that the pause he heard before the grudging answer came was more a reflection of his treatment by other family members than by him. "No," Logan conceded.
"And I'm not now."
"But you have kept things to yourself," Logan's eyes rose again to meet his as he considered a topic clearly uncomfortable to him, "especially when you think it's for my own good, or you're protecting me. I know why you've done it, but I'm not a kid anymore, Tony, and I'd rather you be brutally honest than try to spare my feelings at the risk of interfering with your job."
DiNozzo looked again at his younger cousin and suddenly saw, not just the tow-headed toddler who had captured his heart all those years ago, or the shy, gangly fourteen year old trying to cope with his parents' sudden deaths, but a young man, one with his eyes and an intelligence that impressed him every time they spoke, one who was ready to look out for him now, the way he'd always tried to look out for Logan – and who made him proud every moment of every day. This kid was destined for great things, DiNozzo reflected; he was starting right here and now, ready to step out of the picture while his cousin regrouped in the wake of Gibbs' sudden departure. Tony's grin widened as he relaxed into it, suddenly remembering above all the depth of his bond with his younger cousin, and Logan saw the change immediately – from stiff, forced pleasantries to the expression his arrival usually brought, Tony's genuine, warm pleasure just to have him around now shone through. At that, his own tension drained away.
"Well, okay then, Mr. 'I just got a job at the Post so I'm bagging Belgium,'" Tony's grin kept widening as he started his broad teasing. "Who the hell chooses the District over Belgium anyway, at least for the summer? Have you even been here in the summer? You know it's a swamp, right? I mean, a literal swamp; on a good day the humidity out there makes it feel like you're walking through jello..."
Logan laughed as he picked up the griping. "Not to mention that the work is going to be real work, running down stories, not just sitting in an air-conditioned cubicle, so I have to go out in it..."
The cousins' smiles were a matched set now as both were filled with pride – Tony for his cousin's newest achievement and the fact it meant he would be nearby for a while; Logan for how, even in the middle of his team's upheaval, his own personal hero could again let him know in his own, inimitable way that he was wanted and appreciated and loved...
"When do you start?" Tony draped an arm around Logan and began to walk him toward his car, feeling an unexpected, emotional pang to find himself talking with his cousin as he would another adult, one with job responsibilities and places to be, and not just his doting young cousin.
"Monday."
"Right away, then." Tony nodded, determined not to show his new emotions. "Okay, what we do – if you like," his concession to the fact that his cousin was now a working man, another adult, was sincere if a bit delayed, "we get you to my place, and get some food, and get you squared away. With you in the spare room it will be easier to 'play it by ear' for when we both happen to have some time free."
"Tony," Logan glanced at his cousin, almost sadly, as they reached his car. "You don't have to put me up, I really do have a place they gave me and I can..."
"You can use either one this way. Whichever is more convenient for you ... and whichever one you would like, whenever." DiNozzo spoke with the certainty that his candor allowed. "And we both promise to be absolutely honest with each other about how much time we have and if we have to pass on whatever movie or plans the other might be thinking about." He looked over the car's roof to the young man on the other side, not getting in until they reached this understanding. "Deal?"
Despite the scars that ran deep, despite the years of near-rejection he'd gotten from the aunt and uncle suddenly charged with his care following that awful day six years earlier – Logan's smile began to take hold to become joyful, enthusiastic – contagious. He pulled the passenger side door open, threw his backpack over the seat to the back, and gave Tony a look as cocky and confident as one of DiNozzo's own. "Deal," he said, then dropped into the seat. Tony followed suit.
"Pizza on the way?" he asked. "Lunch buffet not far from here opened fifteen minutes ago."
Logan laughed, relaxing into the morning with his cousin. "I knew I was gonna like D.C..."
To be continued...
A/N: Further adventures of Logan and Ziva (!), and Logan and Tony, are plotted but not written. I wish I could say when they will be, but like Tony, I've never lied to you. I hope it will be much less time than this installment took, but if there is still interest in this story, I will try to get it in posting order without a huge delay.
Thanks for making it this far...