Disclaimer: Nothing Harry Potter-related belongs to me. And the title of this fic is from the song "Love Is Paranoid" by the Distillers which doesn't belong to me either.

This is my first fanfic, so I'm sorry if it's not that good. Please review.

I'll write a second chapter if people like it.

Chapter One: Realization

Ron lay on his bed, defeated. It seemed as though all the strength had gone out of his body. How could she hate me, he thought desperately. We're best friends… how could she… I love her so much… and she's so beautiful… Ron sniffled as a single tear ran down his cheek. He had never experienced something so painful. He wasn't even aware of what he was feeling. But what he did know was it felt like dying.

Laying there in the still of the night, he realized that he had been too late. He had gotten rid of Lavender Brown too late. He thought he just wanted a girlfriend to snog with. He had only just realized that all he wanted was Hermione. She was all he needed.

And now… Hermione never wanted to speak to him again. She hated him. As the moonlight shined through the dormitory window, Ron felt terror grip him, imagining a life without Hermione.

How could he survive?

The answer was simple: he couldn't.

But he had to at least try.

The next week went by in a blur. Ron could remember nothing of his lessons. Most of them were spent staring at the back of Hermione's head, praying that she'd turn around and smile at him.

But she didn't so much as look at him once.

He was in agony.

Harry had tried to comfort him, and he was grateful. But Harry couldn't offer any good advice. He had never been in love. He had never had his heart broken like this. Ron didn't want to worry Harry about him, but he just could find nothing to smile about anymore.

In fact, Ron felt stabs of jealousy when he saw Harry talking and laughing with Hermione. They were becoming more frequent, and Ron couldn't shake the feeling that he was being betrayed. This is crazy though, why would Harry want to hurt me? I'm his best mate; he wouldn't do this to me. Ron thought to himself desperately while trying to finish his homework in the common room one night. Why should Harry get to laugh and talk to Hermione and be in her presence when I can't? I love her so much, and I'm not allowed within 5 feet of her. It's not fair.

Ron angrily stabbed his potions essay with his quill, successfully putting black blobs of ink all over it. He looked up and saw Hermione and Harry talking about who knows what next to the fire in the Gryffindor common room. Ron's face burned as he turned back to his essay. He scowled. He had successfully made his homework indecipherable.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He gathered all of his things and made his way up to his dormitory. Night had fallen and the only light in the dormitory was the moonlight spilling through the window. All the winter snow on the Hogwarts grounds had melted away, and the unyielding cold of winter gave way to pleasantly mild nights.

Ron sighed. Even the weather was not agreeing him. Outside it was calm and quiet, but inside of Ron his emotions were churning like a massive storm. He had never felt so many things at once. Anger, love, hate, jealousy, sadness, apprehension… all these emotions seemed to be struggling with each other in the pit of Ron's stomach.

He threw his things into the trunk at the foot of his bed. He was too angry to do any work. He heard someone else coming up to the dormitory and turned to find Harry standing at the door with a stupid smile on his face.

"Hey Ron, are you finished? Could I have a look at your essay?"

Ron glared at him. The ball of emotions leapt to his throat. At the sight of Harry, Ron's cheeks flamed and he felt furious. "Why don't you just ask Hermione? I'm sure she'd be glad to help you, very glad," Ron said huffily. Harry's smile faltered.

"What do you mean by that? You know she doesn't let me copy…" Harry asked, as he furrowed his eyebrows.

"Oh don't give me that, you know perfectly well what I mean! Always around her, laughing and talking, charming her… who do you think you're fooling Potter?" Ron asked with a sneer. His fists were clenched, and he was overcome with the urge to punch Harry in the nose.

"What? Ron you sound like Malfoy… what's gotten into you? I'm not charming anyone," Harry said, backing towards the door. Ron walked shakily up to Harry. As Ron stared into Harry's face, he knew he couldn't take it anymore. He felt like he was going to explode.

"Famous Harry Potter… the Boy Who Lived… 'The Chosen One'…" Ron was breathing heavily right into Harry's face. "Who could resist? Any girl would love to be Potter's girlfriend it's. AND YOU HAD TO PICK HER. YOU HAD TO PICK THE ONLY GIRL THAT I'VE EVER CARED ABOUT. WELL GO AHEAD AND TAKE HER AND JUST LEAVE ME ALONE, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!" Ron shouted. He found tears coming down his cheeks. Harry looked confused.

"Ron… mate, I don't like Hermione. We're just friends… we always have been, you know that. I would never do that to you."

Ron narrowed his eyes and shoved Harry against the door. He grabbed the front of his robes and pinned him there.

"Yeah, right well… I bet she likes you. Everyone likes you. And no one ever looks at me. I'm just another Weasley boy, with nothing special about me," Harry looked scared as Ron spoke in a harsh whisper. "Well I'm sick and tired of living in your shadow. I'm tired of being your bloody sidekick. It's over," Ron growled and let go of Harry's robes with a shove.

Harry stood there for a second, obviously shocked. "What do you mean over…?"

"It's over. I'm not speaking to you anymore. I'm not following you on your silly adventures. I'm sick of it. I'm Ron Weasley. Not some nameless servant boy who follows you around constantly. I have nothing more to say to you," and with that, Ron went to his bed and got under the covers, staring at the ceiling.

Harry opened his mouth as if to say something, but shut it again. He shook his head slightly and turned and left the dormitory.

And that was it. Ron laid there as the silence pressed in on him. He had the sick feeling that something was sitting on his chest, and he couldn't breathe properly. His stomach was churning, and his head felt like it was on fire. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Harry had been the best friend he'd ever had…

But every time Ron thought about him, his chest burned in anger.

Especially when he thought about him and her.