Title: If Tomorrow Never Comes
Author: DnKS-giRLs
Rating: PG
Pairing: TezuFuji
Disclaimers: …. (whistle) what? What's disclaimer, anyway? We don't understand…
Warning: ummh… nothing… it's just a piece of poorly written DEATH-fic…
(Fuji's POV)
We had a fight yesterday. I see a car coming toward me right now.
At first, those two things seem unrelated, but it becomes more than related if I consider these facts. One, that it was Tezuka Kunimitsu whom I fought last night. Two, that it is him who grabs my waist and save me from the car that will surely crush my body if only he's not in the way. In the end, I am perfectly saved and he is the one lays in the middle of pooling blood. His own blood, seeping from so many open wounds I can see on his body.
Frantically I come to his side; my eyes are full with tears that they sting. My body aches all over but I care not as I kneel beside him. I care not of what another people say. I care not of our previous fight. I just want him to live. I cannot live without him. I cry, but he lifts up his left hand and wipes my tears. How can he still find such power in his current condition is totally unknown to me. He smiles to me and with his voice that is only a level beyond whisper he says.
"I'm sorry…"
I don't know what he means by his words. Does he feel sorry because of our fight? Does he feel sorry because he knows that he will soon leave me? Does he feel sorry because he has made me cry over him? I don't know and it's not like I will be able to know since I cannot ask him personally what has made him say those words.
Tezuka Kunimitsu, my lover, dies only three hours after he said those words, and I am left behind with my mind contemplating about his words. If he indeed has tried to apologize for our fight, that is totally unnecessary.
It was not really something so great that has been the cause of our fight. It just happened that we were supposed to have a date that night but Tezuka somehow had forgotten it. We had planned the whole things ever since the previous weekend and I was waiting for him, full of love, that he would show up.
Yet he never showed up. He came home when it was almost midnight and all our plans had come to ruins. He found me waiting in the living room with cold meals and burned down candles and he just stared at me and asked, "Why are you still up in this late hour?"
I almost cried but I forced myself to smile as I said, "Don't you remember what are we supposed to do today?"
He looked at me then at the table that was decorated for two persons and growled.
"Our date… right," he said. "I forgot…"
"So easy for you to forget," I said.
"Look, I have my jobs piling before me in my office, what do you suggests me to do?" he said. "I'm really busy these days, so… I'll make it up to you someday, okay?"
Just that and he walked away from me, without even saying that he was sorry. I knew that his job required most of his time. I could understand that. What I could not was why he did not even say his apology. Did he think of me as just another thing, not a person with feelings? Did he think that I would be satisfied with his promise of 'another day', which I knew he would never able to accomplish?
I walked to him and without further word; I slapped him hard across his face. I would never forget his shocked expression as I said to him, "I hate you, Tezuka Kunimitsu!"
I took my leave and went to our bedroom. I cried so hard until I finally gave in to the power of sleep. I woke up with a start somewhere during the night and saw that Tezuka was not there beside me as he used to sleep every night. Feeling rather curious, I walked out from my bed and found him sleeping peacefully in front of his open laptop.
My heart cringed at the sight. He was so much occupied by his works until he fell asleep in his working room. I felt a bit guilty when I remembered our fight. I should not have been too harsh to him. I knew it was hard for him too. I knew that he loved me too. Maybe I should not have slapped his face.
He sneezed. It was so freaking cold in that room. I bit my lips and exited the room to grab some blanket to wrap his body. Once it was done, I planted a kiss on his forehead and silently promised that I would say my apology and make it up with him the next morning.
Yes, I always thought of tomorrow as something would exist forever. I never thought what if tomorrow never comes.
The next morning, I went to my office so early in the morning. He had not awakened yet and I felt that he needed his rest so I didn't wake him up. In the afternoon, I saw him walking to me to pick me up. I ran to him, and it was then the whole car accident occurred.
If only I knew that our tomorrow would never come, I would say my apology to him that night. If only I knew that our tomorrow would never come, I would wake him up that morning and kiss him to say that I had forgiven him. If only I knew our tomorrow would never come, I would…
I would do anything just to make him know that I love him…
Yet I did not know and I have no chance now to say to him that I forgive him, that I too am sorry, and that I love him.
It felt ironic when I remember that his last words to me were "I'm sorry" and my last words to him were "I hate you".
I can't live my promise to apologize to him. Not now as he has gone to ashes. Not now as he has already buried deep down inside the ground. Not now as I kiss his grave so lovingly.
I can't say those words of apology, of understanding, and of love, before we finally have our tomorrow as ours again. I can't say those words before our tomorrow comes. Yes, before I finally die and wake up on another shore, I will never have my tomorrow, our tomorrow, and I will forever roam in this seemingly endless night.
Wait for me, ne, Tezuka. Wait for me and our tomorrow to come eventually. Until I can finally meet you again in the shine of eternal days and say to you…
That I forgive you…
That I am sorry too…
And that I forever love you.
– the end –
(A/N : what will you get from some overworked girls? Exhaustion, craziness, and this fic. What do the overworked girls hope from this fic? Some crazy good reviews about their fic to help them cope up with their exhaustion. Add them up and you'll understand what the hell we are talking about… (smile) or if you still cannot figure it out, let's put it in a simpler way with simpler word : REVIEW! Yeah! Muahahahaha….XD)