A/N: Just a short funny that popped into my mind. Don't own…and with the current plot…don't wanna! Grrrrrrr………

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Who're You Calling A Half-Blood?

It was a normal day in Hogwarts. School had started over two months ago, and the Wizarding World had only recently acquired a strange book, titled "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's/Sorcerer's Stone." There were…several different versions, some in Ancient Greek, Latin, and Japanese; which could not fail to send Hermione Granger, and several Ravenclaws, into orgasmic ecstasy.

Harry Potter and Co., the stars of the book, had to deal with many of their classmates coming up to them and asking for verification of the stories. The lucky few who did not get their heads bitten off in reply, were able to inform the others about how the majority of the books were true, if slightly off; until the end of the fourth book on…in which the facts got more and more skewed. In all truthfulness, Sirius Black did not die, but unfortunately got stuck behind/inside the Veil, and was half-dead with starvation and dehydration by the time they managed to pry him out. He was also, inexplicably, covered with hand shaped bruises, as if some fan-girls had managed to capture him and, well…the rest of the scene is clearly imaginable.

It had only been a week since "Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince" had been out, (in the Wizarding community at least,) and it was getting harder and harder to get the fast-readers and plot-spoilers to keep their mouths shut. Some silencing and mouth-removing charms worked, until Severus Snape managed to get to the end of the book.

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It was in the midst of breakfast that he read the dreadful passage. He had been all agog to figure out who the "half blood prince" was, as this "prince" had clear potential in the art of Potion-Making. Not only that, but it seemed as if the "prince" was able to create some very worthwhile spells as well, though the "For Enemies" one seemed a bit Death-Eaterish in style.

He had suffered in guilty silence the part in which he killed Dumbledore, after which he went up to the Headmaster's office, and was not seen to come out until several hours afterwards. The second year Hufflepuff who saw him swore up and down that the famously evil potions master had red-rimmed eyes, and a slight smell of Firewhisky.

(No one believed him.)

Professor Snape had been, for the past week, eating his breakfast with the Half-Blood Prince propped open in front of him, ignoring all but the most insistent questions aimed towards him from the staff. It was on that Tuesday morning in which he was involved with his now daily ritual of drinking his tea, when he suddenly leapt up, did a spit take (nearly drenching his precious book,) spilt scorching tea all over his …genital region…, and exclaimed in a rather high pitched voice, "Half-Blood Prince!"

He then snatched up his book, turned and nearly tripped over his chair (which he then sent a blasting hex towards,) and stormed out of the hall, more blasting hexes coming continuously out of his wand.

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For the rest of the week, Hogwarts' Potions Master was in a very irritable mood, and was hence much more dangerous than normal. All houses (including Slytherin) lost over three hundred points for merely breathing, or some such other nonsense. The Headmaster, eyes now twinkling so bright it's a wonder he wasn't blind, calmly restored all points. He, however, refused to give any insight as to why the Potions Professor was acting this way, merely shaking his head, and offering sherbet lemons to all.