Disclaimer: I do not own anyone in this story, except LonelyArtist, who's me.

And now on to the story!

Talk Show #1

Cameras On

Announcer: "Hellooooooooo Readers! Welcome to LonelyArtist's Talk Show! Today's topic: Knuckles the Echidna! Who is He? What does he do? Is he gay? That and more in this episode! And here's your host: LonelyArtist!"

LonelyArtist walks on to the stage and sits behind a big desk. She has long, red hair in a pontail, and is wearing black, baggy clothes, and glasses. LonelyArtist turns to the audience, who are cheering like mad. She takes her hand and lowers it, and the cheering dies down. Then she raises it and the cheering starts up again. Lowering her hand again, she smiles, contented.

"Welcome, welcome, to the first ever episode of LonelyArtist's Talk Show! As a thirteen year old authoress, I didn't expect such an applause!" LonelyArtist says.

"Hey, boss!" a voice from offstage says, "what do I do with this recording? You know, the one of people 'applausing'?"

LonelyArtist licks her lips. "Coke48kenshin?" she says. Oh yes, for the real Coke48kenshin, thanks for "letting" me use your pen name. "You're fired!"

"Aaww..." Coke48kenshin says, the audience hears footsteps and a door slamming.

"Anyway," LonelyArtist says enthusiastically, "During the show, you may all call me L.A.! It's much easier to type than LonelyArtist. See? LonelyArtistLonelyArtistLonelyArtist takes me about ten seconds to type, while LA.L.A.L.A. takes me about five." L.A. smiles. "And now without further ado, let's send in our special guest, Knuckles the Echidna!"

A red...thing...comes from stage right (for all you people who don't know, that's from the left in the audience's point of view). He walks across the stage through the "applause" and sits silently on the couch next to the desk. He rolls his eyes.

"So, Knuckles!" L.A. says brightly. "The first question I have for you is... what exactly are you?"

Knuckles scowls. "I'm an echidna. I am not a bird, or a reptile, I'm a mammal, even if the females lay eggs. And I'm not a marsupial!" he yells at the computer screen (, if you're reading this, I'm extremely sorry, but he's not a marsupial!).

"Ookay, then," L.A. says, forcing a smile. She picks up a walkie talkie and whispers into it. "I'm afraid of getting sued. Go take care of for me. Over." LonelyArtist puts away the walkie talkie and smiles, showing her gums. "Anyway...Knuckles. Can you tell us a bit about yourself?"

Knuckles gives a stupified expression. "I'm an echidna. I protect the master emerald."

L.A. sighs wearily and puts her head in her hands. "No," she says in a distant sounding voice. "I mean, what do you do with Sonic and the gang?"

Knuckles left eye twitches. "Well," he says is a mechanical voice. "I, er, do things with 'Sonic and the g-- WHY THE ((beep)) IS IT 'SONIC AND THE GANG!'" Knuckles bursts, jumping up with such a start that the heavy armchair topples backward. L.A. and the audience edge as far away from him as they can without leaving their seats. "I MEAN, I'M THERE, TOO!" he continued, oblivious to the reactions.

L.A. stands up and grabs Knuckles' shoulders, trying to calm him. Struggling, she yells for security. "Security! Security!" When nothing happens but most of the audience fleeing, she mutters, "I forgot...to hire...security." And wacks her forehead. Knuckles runs away, destroying things. L.A. groans. "Coke48! Help me!" Before the cameras click off, you hear, "D--crap, why'd I fire her?"

PLEASE STAND BY...

WE HAVE HAD TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. WHILE YOU WAIT, WE WILL PLAY THE MOST ANNOYING SONG ON EARTH.

"I love you, you love me, we're a great big family, with a great big hug and a kiss from me to you, won't you--AAAAAH!"

"DIE!"

"Welcome back to the show," L.A. says, hastily concealing a smoking pistol under her desk. Knuckles is struggling in a straight jacket, tied to the armchair. "Now Knuckles..." L.A. begins. Knuckles mutters something incomrehensible. L.A. pretends not to hear and smiles into the camera. "Knuckles, it's now the part of the show where we take questions from viewers and audience members. The first question..." L.A. randomly pulls a laptop out from under her desk and types a few things. "Our first question is from someone named Anonymous. She says: 'What are your feelings for Rouge?'"

Knuckles facial features seem to soften a little. He speaks in a voice that sounds like it was dipped in honey. "Rouge..." he says softly. "Rouge is just an enemy... nothing more..." he sighs and his eyes half close.

L.A. looks into the camera, a smirk on her face. She stands on her desk and, much to the audiences surprise, strikes a match. She raises it to the smke alarm, and the sprinklers go off. The audience screams and half of the half that was left ran off. Knuckles woke up from his day dream with a start. As the sprinklers turn off, L.A. smiles and looks at Knuckles. "This is the last question of the day, Knuckles. And here it is..." the audience left leans forward in their chairs, waiting for their cue to leave. L.A. lifts a notecard and reads what's on it: "Knuckles the echidna. How does it feel?"

Knuckles raises an eyebrow. "How does what feel?"

L.A. gives him a questioning look. "Well, being gay of course!"

Knuckles lets out a yell. He breaks the straight jacket and roars. L.A. topples over laughing. The audience screams and runs for their lives as Knuckles runs around yelling "I'M NOT GAY! I'M NOT GAY!"

As the studio is in an uproar, L.A. turns to the camera and says, "That's our show! Stay tuned for the next episode of LonelyArtist's Talk Show: Scaring off the audience one member at a time!" The camera draws back and you see L.A. leaning back in her chair as Knuckles runs around screaming and the audience members knock down chairs in their escape.

Cameras Off

There you go. Talk Show #1 is done. I hope you liked it. I wrote this in ten minutes, so it's not very good. Please review, but don't insult me too bad. :) Anyway. I don't know if I'll do another one, but if you for some reason wanted me to, you can review me recomending the topic and a few questions to ask.

And a few things: Coke48kenshin, I know you won't report me, but , please don't. I didn't use your pen name, but you might know who you are. Sorry...

Please review. I know this was a crappy story, but again, I did it in ten minutes.

LonelyArtist, over and out...