You Can Only Die in Tibet Twice

By n0nameneeded

CHAPTER 4

Professor Finbar Calamitous picked disdainfully at his prison denims. If it weren't for a certain two individuals, he would be wearing his trademark white lab coat and black gloves, and he wouldn't be wearing these ridiculous non-automated glasses. Honestly, having to move his arm to adjust his glasses every time they slipped or he needed them off to see at close range was much more tiring than one would think. He had bigger problems to worry about, though.

For starters, he was being held under what might possibly be the highest security in the nation, and his window of opportunity to escape and exact his revenge on the aforementioned two individuals would disappear in about one hour.

While the ordinary man might have found these to be impossible circumstances, Professor Calamitous was either too motivated or too shortsighted to see it that way, and so he began to formulate his plan to free himself and his daughter from B.T.S.O.'s grasp. He looked across the hallway through the bars of his prison cell to see his daughter sitting on her queen-sized bed and flipping through the channels on the television bolted to her wall, neither of which Calamitous had the luxury of.

Television, of course, had solved the problem of finding out that Jet would be in Tibet, as the media was all over the making of his new movie, and Beautiful had overheard a hushed conversation between two prison guards that confirmed Jimmy would be with him. Apparently B.T.S.O.'s 'two top spies' were going to be in Tibet together for one week, and Calamitous could reasonably assume it was this one. And if it was, he was going to break out and make sure Jet and Jimmy paid the price for locking him up for three years.

Beautiful was currently looking at a news channel, but her attention was focused on the time and temperature display on the right hand corner of the screen. Although she and her father were right across the hall from each other, they could not form an escape plan audibly because of the guards constantly patrolling the area. However, both knew sign language and had formed a plan to escape. 11:59, read the clock. Seconds until that plan was put into action.

Right on cue, one agent walked in front of Beautiful's cell and one in front of Calamitous's. Each entered the five-digit punch code into the keypad to the left of the door and inserted the card into the cell's card slot, both of the doors swinging open. Since Calamitous was bald, his guard took samples of his saliva. No questions asked. However, Beautiful, who had already exhibited her charm on this particular guard, had other plans.

She quickly assessed the situation. He was armed only with a tranquilizer gun, but she was sure that the guards not guarding specific cells but main hallways would be carrying guns not intended to sedate but to kill. He did have a pair of handcuffs with him, but no other form of restraint. He had a two-way radio clipped to his belt and looked to be in good physical shape, but she was sure that if it came down to hand-to-hand combat, she could take him down. The man reached for a tweezers to collect a hair sample, but Gorgeous had other plans.

Beautiful slightly lowered her head and looked up at the guard through her lashes. "Actually," she laughed with mock embarrassment, "I was wondering if I could take a urine sample. I need to use the restroom anyway, if it's not a problem."

"Sure thing, Ms. Gorgeous," the agent replied.

"Please, call me Beautiful," she replied. The guard fell in line behind her and she began to walk out the door but stopped just short of the hall. "Aren't you going to do a weapons check, Dan?"

"I don't believe you would be able to hide a weapon on your person, Beautiful," Dan replied in a businesslike manner, referring to the tight leather outfit she was wearing. She could tell that even though Dan was very good at hiding his emotions, he was attracted to her. She would use this to her full advantage.

"I see," Beautiful said, as if she wasn't aware of that fact. "All right, then. Shall we?" She placed her hands behind her back and allowed the guard to handcuff her, then walked down the hallway and took a right, but looked left before the turn. There was a guard flanking each corner of the cell hallways, all of them armed with tranquilizers and two-ways similar to Dan's. She could see two guards at the end of the hallway leading to the bathroom with standard prison guns. One mistake and it was over.

"Here we are, Ms. Gorgeous," Dan said. She felt the pressure on her wrists loosen as her handcuffs were removed. Beautiful walked into the bathroom and heard the guard follow her in.

She spun on her heels. "Is it really necessary for you to accompany me into the restroom?" Dan nodded as the door shut behind him. Beautiful looked him over with her sharp green eyes before turning again and walking into the stall. Dan leaned his back against the door and exhaled deeply, eyes turned towards the ceiling.

The sound of flushing brought his attention to the stall. Beautiful emerged and washed her hands at the sink, then stuck them under an automated hand drier and pressed the button, the machine roaring to life. After a few seconds she pulled them back and surveyed her reflection. "Oh!" she exclaimed. "Better zip up." The zipper on her outfit was down just below the collarbone, but it was enough to bring a blush to Dan's face when she zipped it back up. "You're blushing!" Beautiful remarked coyly.

Dan found himself unable to break eye contact with her. "I've been watching you, Dan, and I've been watching all the other guards here, too. But I have to say that you're my favorite." Her voice was more seductive now, more trancelike. He took measured breaths and kept his gaze straight even as she circled behind him. He was mesmerized somehow.

Suddenly her tone turned cold. "You let your guard down." Suddenly he felt a well placed jab to his neck and then in the small of his back, and he was on the ground. He reached for his tranquilizer. It was gone. He quickly pushed himself off his stomach and into a defensive standing position. Beautiful had the gun aimed straight at him.

"Don't even think about going for your two-way. I've mastered 127 martial arts," she warned him, stepping closer, "and I'll bury this dart in your heart if need be." She took another step. "Hand me the radio, Dan, and I'll sedate you painlessly." Another step.

He slowly reached for his two-way, his hand shaking in fear. "Set it on the ground." Dan knelt down and placed the radio on the tiled bathroom floor, then stood back up, hands interlocked behind his head. "On your knees." He obeyed. Beautiful walked around behind him, the gun pointed at his neck. She pressed her foot into his back and pushed him onto the cold floor, cuffing him quickly, then reaching for the two-way, she pushed the stall door open again and tossed it in the toilet. The radio sputtered pitifully, sparked for a second, then died. Beautiful tentatively removed it and buried it in the trash can.

"Sorry about this, Dan," she said, and without warning aimed the gun at his leg and pulled the trigger. No sound escaped his lips at the pain of the dart's tip puncturing his quadriceps. Beautiful placed a hand on his neck to find a pulse. She counted beats for a number of seconds and found that his heart rate had slowed considerably. She figured she had spent seven or eight minutes getting rid of her guard. Beautiful hurriedly put Dan's clothes on over her own, finding a security card in the pocket of the guard's pants. Pressing her ear against the door, she waited.

She heard footsteps approaching and pressed herself against the hinged side of the door, pulse pounding. This would be the end of her escape if she were caught. The footsteps slowly faded, though, and she knew it was time to move. The guards shifted positions at 12:10 sharp, so it was time that she exit the restroom and move down the hall. Her window was closing fast.

Beautiful pushed the door open noiselessly. Except for the guard walking down the hallway past the bathrooms, Beautiful was alone, but only for a few seconds. She walked down the hall in the opposite direction of the other guard and took a left through a cell block. Prisoners lined the walls, most of them keeping to themselves. She prayed that none of them would say anything.

Her prayers were answered save for one flirtatious inmate at the end of the block on the right side. "Hello, gorgeous. Haven' seen you around before." Gorgeous grimaced but kept walking, about to take another left when the prisoner shouted, "Hey, I know you! You're not a guard!" Beautiful screamed mentally and drew her weapon, backpedaling down the hallway and seeing two guards appear, weapons at their sides. Beautiful was quicker, though. She hit both in the chest, turned and sprinted down the hall and took a right.

Another guard stood at the end of the hallway she had just turned into, gun already drawn. Beautiful ducked into a cell hallway, grasping her gun with both hands as two bullets whizzed past. She put her head around the corner and risked one shot, missing and narrowly dodging two more bullets. She could see a guard approaching from the far end of the hall she was taking refuge in. Just as the second guard drew his weapon, she ducked back into the main hall, fired three shots at the first guard, one of which hit him directly in the arm, and ran for the door. Expertly kicking the guard aside, she took the card from her pants pocket and swiped it through the strip. The door hissed open just as the second guard yelled, "Hey!" The bullet grazed Gorgeous's thigh but left her standing as she closed the door behind her.

"Don't move," came a voice from behind Beautiful. She felt the cold metal of a gun's barrel being pressed into the back of her neck. Grimacing partially from the pain of being hit by a bullet and partially because of her bleak situation, she dropped her gun and raised her hands above her head. Beautiful felt herself spun about to face her captor. He was wearing a guard's uniform too, but also a pair of dark sunglasses. She assumed it was to prevent the glare of the computer monitors lining the walls from damaging his eyes. The room was dark, void of windows or any source of non-artificial light.

The man slid a pair of handcuffs across the floor to her. "Cuff yourself. No funny stuff." Beautiful got on her knees, forced into the same humiliating position Dan had just been in not even five minutes ago. Beautiful applied one cuff to her right wrist and turned around to have the other cuffed. She heard him set his weapon down on his desk and kicked her leg out to catch him in the stomach, but he caught her with one hand on her heel and one on her thigh. She winced at the pressure of his hand on her wound. He expertly threw her to the ground. He clicked the other cuff on her left wrist behind her back and stood back up. She grunted and looked up to see his hand go toward his radio. That couldn't happen.

A well-placed kick to the shin forced the guard's weight onto his one leg and put the other in the air for a split second. Rolling over toward the guard, Beautiful put the chain connecting her handcuffs under the guard's foot in that split second and twisted, sending the guard toppling onto his back. She rolled over onto her back again and sat up quickly, using her momentum to stand up in the process. The guard was still down. She put her weight on the leg that she rested on the man's chest. "I need you to override all the cell access codes. It needs to happen right now."

It was hard to see in the darkness, but she couldn't see any emotion in the guard's face. "How do you override the locks on the cell doors?" she yelled. "How?" She raised her heel and slammed it on the guard's chest. "How do you override the doors?"

The man began to cough, and he finally grimaced, breaking his mask. She raised her foot again and slammed it down again. "Tell me how to override the locks and this stops," she said cooly.

She raised her foot again. "Stop." Beautiful didn't put her foot down, but instead placed it on the man's chest and rested most of her weight on it.

"Where's the key to my handcuffs?" she demanded.

"My pants pocket." The man started for his pocket and Gorgeous removed her leg. He pulled the key out and attempted to sit up but started to cough furiously. The guard instead slid the key across the floor. Beautiful positioned her feet in front of the key and kneeled down, using her hands, handcuffed behind her back, to grab the key and undo the cuffs.

"Now there's the matter of releasing the prisoners," she reminded him.

"Press and hold Control shift F6," he said in a raspy voice. Beautiful nodded. "There should be a list of command sequences appearing on screen."

"I'm there," she said.

"Now press and hold F4 for three seconds, then shift twice and 516. Don't hold the second shift but keep the hold on F4." Four seconds passed and Beautiful nodded again.

"Type celloverride, one word, then number sign, 516, number sign, than a closed parenthesis. Hit enter three times." Beautiful stared at the screen as the message, 'Do you want to empty trash?' popped up. "It should say, 'Do you want to empty trash?'," the guard said. "Hit F6."

Beautiful tapped the F6 key and immediately the alert noise went off. Lights flashed from the ceiling of the darkened room. "You didn't tell me how to disable the alarms!" she yelled over the siren.

"It's impossible to disable!" the guard shouted back. Beautiful pulled the tranquilizer out and leveled it at him. The guard's eyes widened, then squinted against the harsh red light pouring from the ceiling. Beautiful pulled the trigger, imbedding the dart into the leg of the guard, and watched him slump, unconscious, so that his head rested on the ground. She could see from the security cameras that the prisoners had joined together and were rioting against the guards.

Beautiful could only hope that there weren't too many guards outside the door waiting for her. She had no darts left; she would have to shoot to kill. Taking the monitor guard's gun off the desk, she strode over to the door, rested her hand on the handle, and put her gun up.

The door was thrown open and Beautiful steadied her gun with her other hand, expecting at least three men, but there were zero. Luck was on her side, she decided, after cautiously weaving her way through three abandoned hallways. Back to the end of a cell block, she pivoted and pointed her gun down the fourth. Empty. The sound of the riots was loud enough to be heard over the blaring of the sirens now. Beautiful walked stealthily down the hall and put her back to the wall one more time. She pivoted and kicked down the door, sprinting to her left, the path that would lead her to the exit.

Gorgeous looked out the window, twisted her head to see how bad the rioting was. Her father was waiting for her, she assumed, with the prison's helicopter, but even if the problem of the prison guards was taken care of, her former inmates would definitely have a problem with letting their fastest ticket away from the prison leave in someone else's hands. Taking off the guard's uniform, she cried out in pain from her injury. Beautiful knew failure wasn't an option here, though, so she gritted her teeth and walked through the doors to the prison yard.

She could hear the whir of helicopter blades, but couldn't see the helicopter. The other prisoners were searching the sky for it, too. The flirtatious prisoner from earlier noticed her and walked over. "Hey! You know anything about this helicopter?"

Beautiful shook her head. "No, I don't know about any helicopter. Why?"

The man scratched his head. "Well, I figure that a helicopter would only be here to rescue one of us since we've got the prison canvassed, and you broke out of your cell and into that monitor room. So the way I figure it, you must have set all o' us free knowing that would be the only way you could get out. And that means this helicopter, wherever it is, is comin' for you. Am I right?"

Beautiful brought her other hand to her gun, but he was quicker. "Hey!" he yelled. "I think we got the helicopter girl over here!" His gun was aimed straight for her chest, and he had a look on his face that clearly said, 'Don't even think about it.'

Now would definitely be the time for dear old Dad to show up, Beautiful realized, as several other prisoners began to gather around. "So, you're gettin' a helicopter ride out of here?" one of them said. "Mind if I accompany you?"

"Are you kiddin'?" another interjected. "We kill the pilot and the girl and ride it ourselves." Argument broke out between the prisoners, but was shortly drowned out by a deafening increase in the helicopter's volume. Beautiful ran out of the way of the helicopter's line of fire. Manning the craft was none other than Professor Calamitous, who thrust the control stick down, lowering the helicopter closer to the ground.

The inmates raised their guns, but another few rounds of automatic fire from the helicopter stopped them in their tracks. Beautiful held out her gun at the prisoners, keeping them frozen. She placed one leg on the support bar of the helicopter, weapon still trained on the prisoners, then swung the other into the cockpit. They raised their arms and fired through the windshield, trying to hit Calamitous, but their efforts fell short. The helicopter rose quickly, let loose a last barrage of bullets at the prisoners' feet, and took off into the sky.

Author's Notes

Did you forget about me? Yes, I'm still here. I'm really sorry about the HUGE delay, but I haven't been inspired to write anything over the past, what has it been now, two months? Wow. However, I will finish this story, mark my words. Here's Chapter 4, hopefully there aren't any problems that I'll have to fix. In case any of you are fans of the TV show 24, I kinda ripped the idea for the whole "release all the prisoners to escape" right from Season 3 (which was great, by the way). I'm afraid this might be too long (it's almost double the length of the first chapter), but I didn't think I could trim down any more. Hopefully Chapter 5 will be up sometime within the next week or two!

Sorry if this chapter isn't fluffy enough for some of you, but it's a necessary evil. :) Jimmy and Cindy stuff in the next chapter, I promise.

Also, I'm pretty sure that 127 is the number of martial arts Beautiful has mastered, but I'm not completely sure. Don't quote me on it.

Also, there are two puns about Calamitous's size in this chapter: one in the beginning and one at the end. I couldn't resist!