Title: Hidden Pain

Author: Anjali Potter

Email: R

Warnings: kisses, swearing

Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling. Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Summary:Head Boy Draco Malfoy has started cutting himself to relieve his depression.Head Girl Hermione Granger finds out about his secret and her desire to help him forms. What happens if her simple desire grows into something more powerful?

Author's notes: This is my first Hermione/Draco story. I have many types of them in mind but this is my first. Please review and tell me what you think of it. The story itself won't be very long but the chapters will be very long. This won't be but after this they will be averaging at least 10 pages. Give this story a chance please. It's 10 chapters long. I hope you guys enjoy it!

Dedication: My friend Priya. She is so sweet. She has helped me so much and I know that I can always count on her. She means so much to me.

Hidden Pain

Chapter 1: Sleepless Nights

The moon was shining outside the vicinity of Hogwarts. The breeze whipped the lawn like the rippling waves of the ocean. Millions of stars twinkled in the sky and light clouds drifted across the black sky. The castle stood huge and welcoming against the night sky. The lights were off and the atmosphere was pleasant. Students slept, shielded by their beds from everything but their nightmares. But in that castle, one student was awake waiting for sleep to overtake him.

A ray of moonlight was shining into the Head Boy's room and falling in a slanted line across his bed. The Head Boy however was fall from asleep. He groaned after hours of tossing and turning and turned so he was facing the window. Swallowing, he relaxed and shut his eyes. A few minutes later, his gray eyes opened again and cursed as the moonlight was shining in his eyes. He rubbed his eyes and reached over to grab his clock knocking half his books off the dressing table. Reading the iridescent light, he discovered it was 4 o'clock in the morning.

Sighing, he replaced his clock and sat up. He reached over once more and grabbed his wand. Draco Malfoy, Head Boy of Hogwarts, slowly traced his wand idly with his long shapely fingers. His bleached blond hair fell in his forehead in thin strands. Clothed in just a pair of silver silk boxers, he sat in his bed, his legs stretched in front of him, the covers up to his waist.

Sleep was a time for students to forget about the day's events; to start the next day fresh and with a clean slate. It was a time to fall in a utopia where nothing horrible existed. But for Draco, it was his time of thinking. Ever since the summer, his sleepiness had fallen away. He would simply relieve the events of the day as he lay staring at the wall across from him.

Draco slowly replaced his wand back on his dresser and slowly reached under his bed. He pulled out his most prized possession; a silver handled knife, the only gift his father had given him. Draco grasped the handle and turned it this way and that watching the moonlight bounce off the smooth and sharp blade. Draco dragged a finger down the blade and smiled almost sadistically as a drop of blood appeared and slid down the length of the knife. He brought that finger to his mouth and sucked on it enjoying the feeling of pain rush throughout his body like fireworks.

But Draco had made his knife do more damage than a silly drop of blood. Oh yes, the blade had cut up a lot of flesh. Draco ran a finger over the other scars caused by his knife. He ran them over the numerous scars and cuts on his left forearms. Almost lovingly, almost smiling, he traced his second finger down yesterday's scab. It was fresh and hadn't healed yet. Of course, Draco could go up to the hospital wing and have Madam Pomfrey on the pretense that his knife had slipped. Simply go to her one-day at a time. But what would the use in that? His cuts were a source of relieving his pain and anxieties.

Draco froze and listened around him making sure that the Head Girl was asleep. Yes, Mudblood Hermione Granger was fast asleep in her own room across the room from him. There would be no one to disturb him from stopping what he was about to do.

Draco slowly dragged the blade across his left forearm and relaxed at the knife left a thin scrape. Draco felt the same feeling of anger and uselessness rise up in him as he had felt all summer. Angrily, he slashed the knife across that same spot until a deep raw red cut had appeared. Cutting was the only way he could sleep.

Draco grasped his forearm as the blood slowly dripped from the cut onto his bed. Grabbing his wand, he slowly sealed his cut and left his to heal. With another flick of his wand, the dark stain vanished from the bed. With another tap, the blood vanished from the hilt of the knife which he then stowed it away carefully under his mattress. After replacing his wand, he snuggled deep into his sheets as if nothing could harm him; as if the blankets formed a blanket between him and the evils of his world. With the feeling of physical pain surrounding him, Draco finally fell asleep within ten minutes.

. & .

Draco moaned as the rays of sunshine hit him in the eye. Groaning, he rolled up breaking his protective layer and stretched his arms and legs. He then sat up his hair disheveled and glanced at his clock, which said 7:20.

"Great, I have 40 minutes in which I have to get ready, have breakfast, and escape that Mudblood," thought Draco swinging his legs over the bed.

Looking around his room, Draco spotted his silver and green towel and threw it around his head. He grabbed his clothes and opened his bedroom door cautiously. When he was sure that Granger was not around, he fully opened the door and let himself out.

Inspite of himself, the Heads Room was rather comfy. Next to his room was Hermione Granger's room. Across from Draco's room was the common bathroom. Draco physically shuddered at the thought; how could he share a bathroom with a Mudblood for a whole year? The thought made him shrivel up inside in disgust. Next to the door of the bathroom was an elaborately carved fireplace. Sofas and big armchairs surrounded the fire in a cozy arrangement.

Crossing the room, Draco let himself in the bathroom. The bathroom was rather nice, Draco admitted to himself. On the right wall was a very long counter made of dark green marble, which Draco highly approved of. Half belonged to Hermione and half belonged to Draco. Hermione's side was a selection of shampoos, conditioners, and random beauty products all neatly arranged. Draco half had only a few items: his hair gel, aftershave, shaving cream, and raser.

Across from him was a huge bathtub. Around the tub were assorted handles, which contained bubbles as big as footballs or simply warm water. Sighing Draco shut the door, threw his towel carelessly on a chair and filled the tub with lukewarm water. He found that after his first cut, hot water made his cuts unbearable to handle. After a few minutes, Draco stripped himself and lay down in the tub. Closing his eyes, he let the warm water wash over him removing his senses.

A few minutes however, Draco got up from the water and wrapped himself with his big fluffy towel. Rapidly, he dried himself and dressed himself in the Hogwarts uniform; black pants, a white shirt, tie, and his usual Slytherin robes over them. He squeezed some gel into his hands and rubbed it in his hair. Deliberately, he brushed them so they were hanging right above his eyes. With this look, he was almost or as popular with the girls as Harry. After adjusting his collar, Draco stepped out of the bathroom and the first thing he saw was Hermione.

Hermione was sitting at one of the table next to the bathroom reading the NEWT Potions book already. Rolling his eyes, Draco walked past her so he could tie his black shoes.

"Malfoy," said Hermione. Malfoy inwardly groaned and stopped.

"What is it?" he snapped.

Hermione looked taken aback. "Professor Dumbledore wanted me to tell you that you need to see him for the Head instructions. You have about 20 minutes left before classes start."

Hermione went back to reading her book. Still looking at the book, Hermione reached her hand out for the apple that was sitting on the corner of her desk. Draco smirked and silently bent forward and took the apple. He laughed silently as Hermione kept feeling around the desk.

"Looking for this," laughed Draco coldly playing with the apple.

"Malfoy, give it back," said Hermione unfeelingly holding her hand out.

"Malfoys take what they want,' said Draco serenely biting into the apple. He spit a piece at her hitting her in the face. Hermione's face went red and tried to avoid him.

"Malfoy just get out of my sight or I'm going to hex you," snapped Hermione after several unsuccessful attempts. Laughing to himself, he went into his room, put on his shoes, and left the Heads quarters. Taunting Granger was the best thing to do after a nice of little sleep and emotional trauma.

. & .

Draco pushed open the doors to the Great Hall. To his surprise, even though there were only 15 or so minutes left in breakfast, the Hall was surprisingly packed. He walked casually over to his usual spot at the Slytherin table but halfway backed out. He didn't want to put up with the stupid questions of Crabbe and Goyle and especially Pansy's annoying flirting. Instead, he walked to the teacher's table and stood in front of Professor Dumbledore. Beaming, Professor Dumbledore got up and bent across the table explaining to Draco the duties of being Head Boy; patrolling, looking out for suspicious activities, etc. Nodding dutifully, Draco turned around and walked swiftly out of the Great Hall not looking at anyone or anything.

Severus Snape, however, had been watching Draco since he entered the Great Hall. Why in the world had Draco stopped halfway to the Slytherin table and then backed out? Come to think of it, Draco looked rather ill. His eyes were cold and tired. But underneath Snape could see emotions swirling in a hazy depth. Dark circles were under his eyes and he wasn't walking with the usual air of confidence that he had possessed since the first day he set foot in the castle. Snape made a mental note in his head, keeping it for future reference.

Snape look of concern turned to a look of disgust as his eyes wandered over to the Gryffindor table. His lips pursed inwards as he saw Harry and Ginny practically glued together at the lips. Professor McGonaggal looked at Snape and then burst out laughing; Snape looked as if he had swallowed a lemon. Cursing, Snape looked down at his plate and shot an evil look at his colleague.

"What's wrong now Severus," said Professor McGonaggal quietly.

"It's Potter and Weasley," snarled Snape. "Don't they have better things to do in the eating hall?"

Professor McGonaggal looked towards the Gryffindor table and saw what Snape was complaining about.

"He's just like his father," sneered Snape, "He also threw his weight around too much."

"Severus," interrupted Professor McGonaggal, "Harry is nothing like his father. You've seen him for 6 years and yet you think he's like James? Harry had the looks but his attitude has gone completely on Lily. Do you see him showing off in the Quidditch field or hexing random Slytherins? Severus, it's time to let the past go. You will never be able to overcome your feelings for James but don't carry them to Harry. I should have said this to you 6 years ago, when he set foot here. But it's still not too late."

Severus stared at his plate nonplussed. Sipping his coffee he thought about what Professor McGonaggal had just said. And even though he would never admit it, what she had just told him was absolutely right.