A/N: this is a kaihil fic, written by moi and the darling mystic-water. Unlike all of my other very short lived fics, this one will most likely be continued LOL because im doing it with someone else XD so watch this space.

:Since you been Gone:

chapter 1

L'espace vide. The empty space - An ironic name for a place where people came simply to loose themselves in waves of bodies and sweat. However, it wasn't quite what Hilary expected. She tittered at the doorway, her eyes fixated on the masses of people that seemed to just meld into each other, pulsating in time with the music. Waves of crystal light would wash over them occasionally, causing a few heads to turn upward, screaming for absolutely no reason.

What song was it? She listened hard, but had no idea. It was just a mess of banging noise. It was giving her a headache, but more than that, she was beginning to feel a little out of place. She had jeans and a t-shirt on. Jeans and a t-shirt, what was she thinking! Her mind scolded her – this was a nightclub, not a walk in the park. She glanced at the other girls in their tight belt-turned-skirts and shimmering see-through tops.

"Hey cutie,"

Her head jolted upward to see a tall, drunken figure. His dark hair clung to his forehead, plastered down with sweat. She stumbled backward a bit, and his lazy smile grew.

"You know," he continued, "I always liked Mickey." He gestured to the famous mouse on her shirt. "He's very," The man drew a long, taxing breath, "Cute."

"Uh huh." Hilary nodded slowly at him, trying to edge away. The guy's closeness was unnerving, but the smell was worse. "Listen, I have to meet some friends and –"

"I'll be your friend," He told her, his arms snaking around her waist and pulling her into the crowd. Hilary's breath caught in her throat. Shit, now how was she going to find Mariam? That's who she was looking for, after all. That's who had dragged her out of her beyblade meeting for this. Hilary growled – some friend! Ditching her at the door when she knew good and well Hilary had little to no experience with this sort of thing! She had to find her and severe the girl's hands or something. And hell, this guy? Hilary's dark ruby eyes narrowed as she looked up at him. The nerve! His hand was on her ASS. HER ASS.

"I don't need you as a friend because I already have one and I need to find her," She hissed up at him, "So if you'll excuse me," Before I am forced to hurt you.

If not for the fact his grip on her tightened, Hilary would've sworn he hadn't heard a thing she said. The man just kept smiling and swaying and becoming closer, and closer, and impossibly closer still. And his lips, dare she even look at the things out of fear he'd take it the wrong way, were scarily near hers. If he didn't move soon … The white light flashed over their part of the crowd. A few seconds, but Hilary knew it'd be her only chance before the guy did something stupid. She kneed him –where it hurt- and began to push her way through the crowd screaming, "Mariam! Mariam where the fuck are you!"

Behind her she knew the man had fallen to the cold, concrete ground and remained there. Writhing and spitting. Cursing that girl in the Mickey Mouse t-shirt while a million others danced over him in hot pink stilettos. What did they care? He was only another face without a name.

Then a flicker of blue hair, to the right. Hilary's pace grew faster, more aggressive. People were pressing into her from all sides, making it hard for her to reach her destination. And there was something else too, a feeling at the pit of her stomach, telling her to give in. Telling her that the music wasn't that bad, that the dancing looked fun, the dancing looked free. Didn't she want to be free? She ignored the feeling, focussing solely on the fact that she was almost there. She'd almost reached Mariam. The blue would disappear occasionally, dipping into the crowd before popping up again, tossing this way and that.

Now, the flash of blue hair was close, with only perhaps one or two people separating it from Hilary. She knew she'd have to lunge for Mariam, before the crowd moved and they were separated.

With the sudden beat of the music she found everyone jumping up and down- bumping her forward. Good, all the more closer to Mariam- oh was she going to get an earful when she got her hands on her.

Hilary saw the blue hair move towards the bar- oh she was not going to be stuck on this damn dance floor by herself. The brunette dived at the bobbing blue hair of her friend and latched around her abnormally wide waist.

"You bitch!" She screamed over the loud music into Mariam's back. "I've been looking for you everywhere! Thanks to you I had some fucking drunken idiot feel my ass up! You know I don't do well with crowds, let alone idiot males! I deal with Tyson everyday! I don't need to come to a fucking club to deal with more bullshit."

She felt a large hand grab hers and spin her around so she was leaning against the bar counter- Hilary blinked as she stared into familiar auburn eyes. Those are definitely not Mariam's eyes! And Mariam definitely had longer hair…

There was a long pause as the person who was holding her looked her over. Hilary choked on her own gasp as her legs went numb at the sight before her. It couldn't be…

A deep masculine voice chuckled at her outburst, "I'm a bitch now am I? Well that's certainly the first time I've been called by that name from you." Fuck she would know that voice any where. She was positive… it was him.

Two-toned blue hair was plastered against his forehead as sweat trickled down the side of his face. By now he was at least 6'3 and still muscular from all the bey-training he put himself through. His right arm leaned on the counter as he leaned closer to inspect her, while his left kept a firm hold on her hand. Had he always been this well toned? God, did it just get really hot in here, or is it just me?

"K-Kai?"

Why was he here? That damn bastard! She hadn't seen him since the end of the Third World Championships. Even Tala couldn't tell her or Tyson where he disappeared to. He just left. Without so much as a goodbye- he just vanished like he had never been apart of their team. No one even knew where he was.

She had never seen Tyson so pissed off in her life. There was no use calming him down either. Hell the kid even refused to eat for a week before his stomach gave out and he went to an all-you-can-eat buffet for comfort food. Ray told her that it wasn't un-kai-like for him to disappear like this- but this was different because he never came back, and no one ever knew why.

The brunette shivered as she felt Kai's warm palm caress over her cheek and brush through her chestnut brown hair. "You've grown up."

That's it? He hasn't seen me in four fucking years and that's all he has to say to me! You've grown up! That's what happens when you leave! People change and grown up! Doesn't he have anything else to say for himself!

SLAP

If the music hadn't been blaring in her ear drums, she was positive that slap across his face would have echoed around the room. The stunned expression on his face was enough to make her feel some relief. Somehow it had always been her who could manage to crack his mannerisms he held with high regard. And by the gods she had done it again. Good, that cold-hearted jerk owed her an apology and an explanation.

Hilary was panting heavily out of anger now- and the lack of oxygen in the club wasn't helping the situation any better. "'You've grown up'?" She yelled in mockery, "Yes Kai! That's what fucking happens when you disappear for four years! Where the hell have you-"

Hilary was cut short when she felt his arm wrap around her waist and his hand around the wrist of the hand he was already holding, and pulled her up against his matured body. He was hugging her… Why was he hugging her!

"You know," He began to tell her, his voice warm against her ear, "I can't even remember where I was. I know it was cold," He pulled her closer to him, leaning down to bury his face in the nape of her neck, "isolated and well," His breath was ticklish, and she had to fight not to squirm beneath him. She wasn't used to this. Used to being held by an incredibly sexy guy with clothes so tight you could basically feel… everything. She bit her lip. Yeah, she was annoyed at it, but the comment on how she had grown up? It meant he noticed.

Sometimes it felt like nobody ever noticed her. She wasn't about to offer him free sex, but she still didn't want him thinking she was freaked out or anything.

"Lonely." Kai finished his sentence, and she could feel him smirking against her skin as his hands began to move south. Hilary caught them.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed, bringing his head up so she had eye contact. This way she could be sure he was listening. "You can't just show up after four years, leaving me – yes, Kai, me – to deal with the rubble you left behind, and then try to molest me! Things have happened in the past four years, you know."

Kai cocked his head to one side, his smirk still prominent. "Things? Like what." He said it as almost a challenge.

"Like me getting together with Tyson, that's what." True, sadly. She'd always had a crush on the team captain (well, who wouldn't, really) and for a second there … She had thought she'd been in with a chance. Plain little Hilary with uber sexy Kai. To most people it was unthinkable - what with all the fan girls he had, he could choose anyone. But she had believed that maybe, just maybe… Fuck, it didn't matter what she thought because in the end, he left them. Her.

When she found out, she was so mad she wanted to scream. Run after him and ram his pretty head into some aeroplane propellers. Make him hurt as much as he'd made her hurt. Make him regret… So when Tyson finally made the move, who was she to resist? He was cute enough. Safe enough. And although she never felt any huge attraction to Tyson (he still annoyed her as much as ever), she had been content.

Up until now. Tyson was warm afternoons in the park, coffees after work, gentle touches in the dark. And Kai – her eyes drifted slowly down his body, noting his provocative clothing and his air of oozing confidence – Kai was mindless nightclubs, altering drugs and quickies wherever possible. Yet on top of that he offered something Tyson never could.

Passion.

"Tyson?" Kai rose an eyebrow, seeming a little amused. "That fat kid with the scruffy old baseball cap and the incessant do-good nature?" He scoffed, loudly. "Despite your unusual taste in clothes, you could do better, Hilary."

She stared at him, hard. Convincing herself he'd only lead to trouble. "Maybe I don't want to do better."

Kai snorted at her; which caught her off guard slightly. It wasn't often that Kai second guessed her- he always trusted her word- After all, wasn't it him who had accepted Hilary into the Blade Breakers with open arms? Reducing himself to train under a girl to control the frustrating new beyblade Kenny had presented him with. Wasn't it Kai who was always around to save her sorry ass whenever she managed to get herself into near-death situations?

At least that's how it was when they were younger… when he was still a part of her life… a part of the team… a part of the family the Blade Breakers had created. But Kai had left that behind when he walked away and disappeared off the face of the planet for four years… And now Hilary let the annoying bluenette be the one she initially wanted Kai to be. And now Kai was back trying to stake his claim- like Tyson didn't have any right to be the one guy in her life.

He had no right!

"Hilary, at some point everyone thrives to do better- you've always been that way." He said pointedly.

She glared up at him, "What would you know about what I've always been like? You left remember? I've changed!"

And so have you… but is it for the better?

"Apart from growing up… I see no change. You are still hot-headed, hot tempered and cute in that way only you can manage. Shame really, took me leaving for Tyson to realize that." Kai grunted as he glanced back towards the dance floor where the hot and sweaty bodies continued to mingle, jump and grind.

Apparently purposely trying to ignore Hilary's stunned reaction. Hilary herself wasn't sure whether to scream even more at him for the insults or blush madly at the sudden change in his tone towards her- and the words… Cute? Didn't know such a word was in Kai's vocabulary…

Deciding to drop the matter, she moved to push past Kai but he refused to move, "Look Kai- its great your back, the boys will be thrilled. But I need to find Mariam. Now if you excuse me-"

Mariam? Now that was a name he hadn't heard in a long time. "You're the one who was bitching about me being away for so long. Didn't you want to catch up with an old friend?" That trademark smirk just wouldn't leave his face.

She sighed dejectedly; this was not the way she had expected the night to go. "Why don't you stop by the dojo tomorrow and-"

"Why don't you stop talking?" She glanced up upon hearing his low growl as he pressed her against the bar counter, invading her mouth with his. "Stupid girl! Do you know how long I've wanted you?"

Hilary blinked again as he kissed her more forcibly this time. Her mind began to shut down. How was she supposed to resist the man she'd wanted for so long? True, he had no right, but damn. There and then, she decided, quite consciously, to give in. It was only one night, god only knew when there'd be another chance. He could be gone by morning. She could be loyal to Tyson tomorrow.

Then there was nothing but the music, the light, and him assaulting all her senses. His hands… he was pulling her back into the crowd, acutely aware of the fact that if they were in there, Hilary would become a part of them. She'd loose her individuality, and she'd loose her ability to doubt.

Ah, it'd been so long without human contact and despite his anti-social tendencies … it was a relief to be back. To have this strange young woman pressed against him and feel her lips on his. Kai wondered vaguely if he was just using her for physical contact. Of course, he hadn't been lying when he said he'd always thought she was cute. But cute didn't exactly mean he'd wanted to love her for all eternity. It didn't even necessarily mean he wanted to fuck her (though, as he'd mentioned before, he wouldn't object). Had Tyson? Had that stupid overgrown kid already gotten her?

Kai wasn't sure if he himself wanted to, but the thought of Tyson doing it with Hilary … well, it irritated him. Tyson didn't deserve her, there was no way he could satisfy her. Could he? Kai broke away from Hilary for a moment to examine her face. "Do you love him?" He asked loudly, straining to be heard over the music.

"What?" She yelled back, stopped dead in her tracks. Her mind was still catching up. Love… who? What? Why did he stop? "What?" She repeated.

"Do you love him? Tyson."

Tyson. Reality crashed down. "Um," She began, not sure of how to answer. How was she supposed to tell him the answer to a question she herself didn't even know. There was no right one, for Kai. Yes would mean loosing every chance she had. No would mean giving herself up to him, admitting something she didn't want to admit. At least, not yet. Because when it came down to it, this was the first time they'd seen each other for four years. He'd given her no reason to trust him, or even begin to think he might still be here tomorrow. As far as Hilary knew, Kai didn't feel a thing for her. He could just be using her. Taking advantage of the moment. "He makes me happy," She settled on telling him and with a pained look of regret, began to walk away.

Her place wasn't here, with all these people drawn to the total anti-glamour of l'espace vide. Nor was it with Kai.

She'd find Mariam, and then she'd go home to Tyson. He would be waiting.

…

"Where were you?" The whining begins before she even managed to close the door behind her. Taking a deep, calming breath, Hilary took off her shoes and left them in a hallway, replacing them with slippers. The dojo, which had been her home for some time now, was so cold in winter. She could never really get used to it, but she had moved in to please Tyson. Despite all the whingeing he really was good to her … it was only fair that she made some sort of sacrifice for him. Besides, Grandpa hadn't quite carked it yet, which meant Tyson and Hilary were still expected to sleep in separate rooms. The guy didn't seem it at first glance, what with his "dudes" and overall surfy, carefree attitude, but Grandpa really was a traditionalist at heart. There was no way he was going to have his grandson having some sort of… some sort of… mistress. What was the world coming to?

Hilary pretended to be bummed about it, but she was secretly relieved. She wasn't sure if she could cope with Tyson 24/7, not to mention the whole sex thing. Sure, they'd done it before. Quite a few times and it wasn't that bad. But it just wasn't enjoyable, the way she'd imagined it to be. It was supposed to be something special, yet when she did it with Tyson … She knew he tried, he really did, but let's just say the shower got a lot of use afterward.

Sex felt dirty.

And maybe it was like that for everyone, and all the movies and books she'd ever seen lied to her. Maybe it was all some sort of façade to hide the truth, and the only reason people did it was because it was expected of them.

She didn't know. She didn't care. This was her life, there were no other options. Kai didn't even come into the equation, she was smarter than that. Kai would never be anything more than a little crush. A little fling.

"Sorry," Hilary forced a smile onto her face, at the same time forcing her memories of the past few hours to the dark recesses of her mind. Don't think about it. He could ruin you. "Mariam took me out after work and getting out of it was harder than I expected."

Tyson was lounging on the couch, his training uniform on, a bowl of spaghetti resting on his stomach. "I had to make my own dinner," He pouted, craning his head back to catch Hilary on the lips, "I was waiting for so long, and my stomach was growling and-"

"Poor baby," Hilary said, moving over into the kitchen, where she could still see and hear her boyfriend. She could barely keep the sarcasm out of her voice.

She opened the fridge as Tyson continued to ramble. "Well I have some good news!" He called to her.

"Oh?" She called back over her shoulder, taking out a cola from the fridge cracking it open as she continued to browse the kitchen for something to eat.

"Yeah. I got a phone call when I got home- you'll guess who it was!"

Opening the cupboard she reached in and pulled out some rippled, salted potato chips. Or what was left of them anyway- Daichi must have been over because the bag was now almost empty. "Who called Tyson?"

"Kai!"

She felt her body go numb as she dropped the chips onto the counter and placed the coke down as she tried to stable herself. "Re-really?"

"Heh', yeah… he's finally back. Though he wouldn't really elaborate where he went- I have a feeling he went back to Russia to sort things out with the estate he inherited after that bastard Voltaire croaked." Tyson snorted at this, he really hated that man and Boris. She couldn't blame him- Boris was an ass and Voltaire was quite controlling over Kai when he was alive.

"What did he say?" She asked somewhat hesitantly.

"Oh he was asking about the team. I told him you were out. He sounded disappointed. I think he was looking forward to talking to all of us again. Heh', the cold bastard has a heart no matter how much he likes to deny it." Tyson laughed at this, "But I gave him everyone's number. He wants to meet with you, me and the gang tomorrow here- the usual training spot. Like the old days."

'Shit…'

Hilary drew in a breath looking over her shoulder- she couldn't see her boyfriend from the kitchen, but she wanted to make sure he couldn't see how shaken up she was at the moment.

'Tyson…' She let out a small moan as she glanced back down at the counter, 'How the fuck am I supposed to face Kai after tonight?'

"Damnit, why did he have to leave!"

Tyson blinked, and glanced back at the kitchen, "Hilary?"

She froze. Fuck, she said that out loud! She sighed dejectedly, running a trembling hand through her hair, "Nothing, Tyson." Her voice gaining control. "What time is everyone gunna be here tomorrow?"

Tyson frowned slightly, still worried about his girlfriend. "Around 10am. I tried to get it past noon, but you know Kai and his early mornings!" he pouted.

Hilary chuckled, memories flooding back to her. Everyone morning around 7am, Kai and him always got into an argument about how early or how late it was to train. "It's more like, you and your sleeping-in habits!" She laughed out loud.

"I need my beauty sleep!" He pouted.

Coming back into the kitchen, her nerves slightly more stable, holding her pop and chips she took a seat beside the bluenette. "I doubt any amount of sleep can save you in that area." She teased.

Putting on his best pout Tyson leaned on Hilary, "You're so mean."

"It's my job." She chuckled as she went to grab some chips only to have it snatched away from her hands by Tyson.

"Oh! That monkey boy is gunna pay! I just bought these!"

Hilary rolled her eyes, "I thought I told you not to invite him over anymore. He's nothing but a nuisance – always destroying my furniture, eating my food…"

"I don't invite him over! He just… comes." He whined, scarfing down the remaining chips. "Hey, what're you going to cook for tomorrow?"

Hilary blinked. Cook? "Um."

"You know how much training can take it out of you." He told her, smiling wistfully at the thought of more food. Last time the team got together, they'd all been a lot younger and Hilary certainly hadn't been going out with Tyson, let alone was even interested in him. And she definitely hadn't been expected to flit around serving them snacks and drinks.

"So, what? I'm just your maid for the morning?" She snapped at him suddenly, angered at the visual in her mind. Poor little Hilary with her maid's dress and cap on, asking everyone if they were comfortable enough or something. Tyson himself suddenly got the same image in his mind, but he just smiled. Hilary would look so cute in a uniform like that … But even he knew she wouldn't be receptive to the idea.

"Not a maid, Hil', more like a housewife, you know? It's what girls do, so don't be worried, I'm sure you'll be great at it." He nodded reassuringly at her, "I know it's kind of your first time serving anyone besides Daichi, 'cause we don't have people 'round much, but I have total faith in you."

"Housewife." She stared at Tyson. Hard. "Is that what you expect me to be?"

Tyson could sense something was wrong, but he put it down to nerves. "Hilary, the guys are your friends, remember? They won't judge you if you do something wrong." He rose a hand to pat her on the shoulder. She swatted it away. "I'm sure you'll make a great lunch, and I'm sure the team will love it. Really. Just make sure everyone's comforta-"

"Comfortable!" Hilary stood up fast, her chair clattering behind her. "Comfortable!" She was shrieking. "I'm not a fucking housewife, Tyson! I'm a part of this team, and I have been for a long time. Going out with you isn't going to change that! I'm not going to suddenly start serving you sandwiches and asking how you like your tea! Okay! This isn't the 18th century! Women have rights! And," Her glare narrowed impossibly further, "I am NOT your wife!"

"Honey," Tyson whined, staring at her back as she began to storm out of the room. Totally not understanding but pretending to anyway, he continued, "I know that, and it's going to be ok. All you have to do is-"

"I don't have to do anything for you, Tyson!" She screeched as she slammed her bedroom door closed. As it did, she turned and leant against it, staring at her trembling hands as she slowly slumped to the floor. God, she hated Tyson at that moment, but more than that? She hated herself, because all she could think of that whole time was, Kai wouldn't do this to me. Kai wouldn't do this to me. And Kai wasn't a fucking possibility! When would she get that into her head! She hadn't in the past four years, but now she'd have to. Just like she'd have to make fucking sandwiches tomorrow, if only to sedate her guilt a little.

Kai wouldn't do this to me.