Knowing Your Limits
"Some people may say the glass is half full, other may say it is half empty. It seems to me [that I have a glass that's twice as large as it needs to be."
Sir James the Second
"The rate of change of momentum of a body is proportional to the resultant force acting on the body and is in the same direction."
—Sir Isaac Newton
Pansy slid onto an empty stool at the bar and tried to ignore the deliciously rumpled wizard two seats down. She nodded at the barkeep and smiled as a shot of Firewhiskey appeared in front of her. She downed it in one gulp and savored the licks of heat that followed it down her throat. She risked a glance at her neighbor and then reached for her refilled glass. It took two more shots before she was willing to attempt to speak to him.
"What's a nice boy like you doing in a place like this?" she managed to say without slurring.
He eyed her warily before replying "Same thing as yourself, I would imagine."
She blinked at him. "And that would be…" she trailed off suggestively.
He snorted. "Forgetting that my date left with yours," he said before he took another pull on his drink. She opened her mouth but he cut her off with a curt, "So leave me to it."
Pansy glared at him and then turned back to her own drink muttering that she was just being friendly. He gave a hearty laugh and she felt something melt inside her.
"And I'm the Minister of Magic," he said with a snort.
"Pleased to meet you Minister," she sniffed. He laughed again and she couldn't help the smile that broke across her face. He returned her smile and, emboldened, she slide down the seats until she was next to him. "Is it so hard to believe?" she asked only half in jest.
"There's not a friendly bone in your body girl," he said in a husky whisper that sent chills down her back and left her tingling all over.
"Well, you would know," she said forgetting the past for a moment. He stiffened; she could have sworn she felt him pull away even though her eyes told her differently. She tried to think of a way to smooth things over and when she couldn't she took another shot of courage and said, "You ever think about what went wrong?"
He frowned. "How much of that have you had to drink Pans?" he glanced at the barkeep, who raised five fingers. "Damn."
She smiled sweetly at him while leaning further into his personal space. When you got this close to him you could see the flecks of gold in his eyes. He put his arms on her shoulders and gently pushed her back.
"I'm not in the mood for this, Pans," he said in his sternest tone.
"I am." She could feel the heat from his hands burning into her skin through her robes and the sensation made her reckless. "I think I deserve to know."
"Oh you do, do you," he said bitterly. "Well I think you are a little girl playing at being a woman and you have had far too much to drink." He threw some coins on the bar. "Come on, I'll see you home."
"I don't want to go home. Not unless it's with you." She sounded petulant even to her own ears.
"Unlike some witches, I know my limits and you in my house is defiantly beyond them."
She was silent for a long time and then she said, "It didn't use to be that way." The fresh air had helped to clear her head and she was hoping that she could make use of the time it would take to get to her flat to try and get some much longed for answers.
"Things change Pans."
"And whose fault is that?" she snapped defensively. "It wasn't mine. I wasn't the one who packed all their things up and moved out while the other was at work. I wasn't the one who refused to answer the Floo. I wasn't the one…" He cut her off with a jerk. She wrenched her arm from his hand and turned to face him. "I wasn't."
He nodded. "I know that Pans."
When he didn't go on she sighed. What had gone wrong? She asked herself. If she was honest she would have to say that it shouldn't have come as a surprise. He had been secretive and withdrawn for a good month before the break up but she had been so caught up in wedding plans that she hadn't even noticed. Then one day she had opened the door to their home and found it half empty without even a note to explain.
"Do you think I don't know that?" he asked almost to himself. He looked about to say something but then he glanced up and she noticed that they were standing in front of her door. He gave a wry smile as he helped her walk up the steps. Then he held the door open, like the gentleman he was, and it wasn't until it was shut behind her that she realized she had lost her chance to find out what he meant.
Pansy woke with a pounding head and a nagging fear that she did something horribly stupid the night before. She had fuzzy memories of Draco sneaking off with that Weasley girl who always seemed to be sniffing around Neville and then… "Oh God!" she said aloud to her empty room. "I couldn't have. I simply couldn't have." But she had, and she knew it. Her whole body felt like it was cringing inside.
She had avoided so much as hearing about him for the first year or so after the end of their relationship and even though another two years had passed since then she still hadn't progressed to the point of being comfortable in his presence. But last night. What was she thinking?
Pansy put her face in her hands and groaned. There was no use playing might have been with that boy. No use at all.
At first glance she didn't see him. Then she saw splash of red and there he was. His brown hair looked almost black in the dim light of the dance floor but those eyes, nothing on earth could change those eyes. They were such a vibrant shade of green that it seemed as if he had made them that way with magic.
He was standing with that Weasley girl and the sight made her stomach clench. It had been the other witch's hair that had caught her eye. It never failed that wherever Neville was Ginny Weasley wasn't far off. And she would be damned if that didn't rankle.
It just wasn't fair. Anyone with eyes could tell that Ginny had it bad for Draco. She shouldn't be hogging the best looking man in the room if she was just going to run off with that prat as soon as she had enough Firewhisey in her to forget that she hated him.
Pansy thought nasty thoughts at the pair and hoped it wouldn't show on her face. She felt her date's hand tighten on her waist and knew that he had spotted Ginny as well. She sighed as she turned slightly. The movement placed her a hairs breath away from his ear. She leaned her body into him and whispered, "Why don't you just go over there if it bothers you so much?"
He whipped his face towards hers and she was caught off guard as his lips brushed against her mouth. She pulled back and fought the urge to wipe his taste away. Pansy reached up and tugged at his hair instead. She knew better than to taunt a jealous man, but there was something about him that caused her to act against her instincts.
So she titled her face up to his, pressing her body obscenely close as she did it. Her eyes glistened and she poured honey into her voice as she cooed "Don't stare so sweetness, people will say you're in love."
He reacted like she had slapped him. His body tightened and his eyes took on a pinched look that reminded her of his mother. She expected him to bellow at her but wasn't surprised when he didn't. Yelling simply wasn't his style. It wasn't seemly to cause a scene in public and so he punished her the most effective way he knew how: with his body.
Pansy felt the panic welling up in her the second his hands tightened on her back. It had always been that way with Draco. His touch left her feeling off balance and uncomfortable. Not that he wasn't skilled, Merlin knows he was. Still, fact of the matter was that she didn't have even a hint of sexual interest in him and to have him attempt to seduce her was like rubbing a cat the wrong way. She was wired wrong where he was concerned and nothing her family had said to the contrary had ever made a difference. Which was the main reason she had refused to be a good little girl and marry him.
She knew that if she struggled he would only lengthen the embrace. So she sank into his arms and opened her mouth to let his tongue in. Which was shocking enough for him to break off the kiss. She pulled back just far enough to look into his eyes and said, "You know I'm right, dearest."
He shrugged. "I could say the same for you."
"But you won't," she all but hissed.
"No, I won't. Because, unlike myself, you never did know what was good for you." His voice was rough with anger.
Pansy wrinkled her nose at him. "All this pent up hostility Draco," she said with a coy look. "Could it be that you are still upset with me for ending our betrothal?" she went for a teasing smile but knew that she fell short.
He eyed her speculatively. "What about you Pansy? Are you regretting turning this down?" he gestured to his body and she couldn't help but laugh.
"Oh Draco, the things you say." Her voice held a hint of longing that she didn't want to understand.
He heard it and raised a brow. "Wishing someone else had said that, aren't you, love?"
Her smile slipped off for a second; then she regained her composure and shook her head wryly.
"You know very well that I wasn't the one who did the rejecting." Pansy didn't want to think about that though, so she snuggled closer into his body and purred, "Seems like your little firebrand is the one who's interested now."
"She bloody well isn't," Draco hissed.
"She looks very cozy pressed up next to him from where I am standing, love," Pansy teased.
"That git had better keep his hands to himself," Draco said petulantly.
Pansy laughed. She felt her head tilt back as Draco twirled her on to the dance floor and she gave in to the sheer pleasure of the moment. The back of her neck prickled and she knew that Neville was watching her. The knowledge prompted her to leave her inhibitions behind, taunted her to play with fire, and so she did.
She leaned forward so that her mouth brushed Draco's ear and said "Want to put on a show?" she waited for him to nod his consent and then slowly pulled back as if losing contact with his body was painful. Her eyes flicked for a moment to Neville and the sadness she saw in him almost caused her to lose her nerve. Then Draco's hand slide down her spine and she felt her courage return.
With his help Pansy turned what would have been a pretty bland waltz into a steamy seduction. They stood a little too close to each other with their eyes locked. His hand rested on the swell of her buttocks while hers played with the fine hair at the back of his neck. Their bodies moved in unison as they circled the floor.
When the song ended she let Draco lead her back to their table with an air of expectancy. She understood Ginny Weasley enough to know that she wouldn't stand for another woman poaching on the man she had marked as hers. And where Ginny Weasley went, Neville was almost certain to follow.
She was not disappointed.
Hardly two minutes after they sat down Ginny found her way to Draco's side. With her, his arm around her waist, was Neville. Some things never changed.
Neville's tendency to drop everything at Ginny's call had been one of the few bones of contention in their relationship. Pansy just couldn't understand why Neville felt the need to trail after Ginny. He had thrown up some cock and bull story about them 'just being friends' and she had tried her hardest to believe it. She never really had. And since he had appeared at the other woman's side less than a month after he left her, Pansy was sure she had been right not to.
"What do you think Pansy?" Draco asked mockingly.
Pansy blinked. "I'm sorry, I didn't hear what you said."
"Ginny asked Draco if he wanted to pair up and turn this into a double date of sorts; he said that was fine so long as you agreed," Neville said with a touch of laughter.
Pansy glanced from Neville to Draco and back again not knowing what to do. The last thing she wanted to do was sit across from Neville and watch him pretend not to care that his date was flirting with hers. But on the other hand, sitting across from Neville was still sitting across from Neville, and that held an appeal of its own.
"It's only for a couple of drinks, love," Draco said as he pushed back his chair. He stood and held his hand out to her.
Pansy stared at it then sighed. "Not tonight," she said with a finality she didn't feel. "I have an early meeting tomorrow." It was a lie and she didn't bother to hide it.
He shrugged and turned to the others. "Would a threesome work for you?"
Ginny's eyes went wide as a blush spread across her cheeks but it was Neville who answered.
"I'm not into sharing. So I think I'll call it a night as well," his voice was teaming with anger.
"Whatever you want," Draco said with a shrug. He bent down to whisper in Ginny's ear. His breath hitched as he straightened. Then he nodded to Neville, squeezed Pansy's arm and lead Ginny away from the table.
"Why do you let him do that, Pans?" Neville asked as he watched Draco and Ginny disappear into the crowd.
"Do what?" Pansy's voice was tired.
"Treat you like that." Neville ran a hand through his hair as he sank into the chair across from her.
"Like what?" Pansy knew she was being childish but she couldn't help herself.
"Like you are his second choice."
"Oh." She shrugged. "It's always been that way."
"Is that all you can say?"
"I don't see how it is your business, Longbottom," Pansy said waspishly.
Neville let out a deep breath. "You're right, it isn't. But you shouldn't let him play with you. You are better than that."
Pansy crossed her arms and glared at him. "That's touching, really it is."
"Damn it Pansy!" Neville stood abruptly and jammed his hands deep into his robe's pockets. He seemed about to say something then changed his mind. He studied her for a moment and shook his head. "Fine. It's your life. Do whatever the bloody hell you want with it," he said then he turned on his heel and stormed off.
He was late. Well, to be honest this wasn't exactly a date and he technically didn't know that he was suppose to be here, but she had been expecting him, and that awful Ginny Weasley, of course. After all, they wouldn't be here if Draco hadn't thought he might run into Ginny. But that was beside the point. She had put a lot of effort into her outfit tonight with the understanding that he would be here to see it. So he damn well better be.
She swirled her wine watching as the dark red liquid formed a whirlpool. She sucked on her teeth and shot Draco a dirty look. "How much longer are you planning on being here?"
He shrugged, his eyes scanning the room. "I haven't finished my business yet."
"The hell you haven't," Pansy groused. "You are finished with and . You paraded me in front of them, chatted them up about the chances of them investing in your current project and dropped a hint or two about being able to pull some strings in the Ministry if they do. They smiled, eyed me like I was a treacle tart and made positive sounding noises to the tune of five thousand gallons. Your work is most definitely done."
He touched the tip of one finger to his lips and scowled. "That part of it, yes. But I have another matter entirely to pursue."
"She's not here, Draco," Pansy said dryly.
He let out a breath and nodded. "But she will be."
Pansy tried not to roll her eyes. "Did you send you an owl confirming it?"
He smiled. "Of course. Wouldn't have bothered coming if she hadn't. I can talk to that lot any time. It's my Vixen I've come to see."
"Yes, well your Vixen, is it, isn't here."
He flapped a hand at her. "She will be. And she'll drag along that git Longbottom. So you'll be happy too."
Pansy feigned innocence. "I don't know what you are talking about."
He snorted. "That's rich. You can't take your eyes from him, love. Don't even try to deny it. You're as stuck on that bloody Gryffindor as you ever were."
"You're one to talk," Pansy jeered.
He ran a hand through his hair. "Oh, I know what I am. I freely admit it. I would shout it from the mountain tops, if she'd let me. It's you who are in denial."
Pansy tossed back the contents of her glass and contemplated how to answer. She was saved the necessity by a vision in green appearing in the entrance. Ginny Weasley was standing with her arm looped causally through Neville's in a dress that Pansy would have given her eyeteeth to fit into. Her flaming red hair was piled on her head, curls artfully dropping from it. She scanned the room, found Draco and made a beeline for him, a dazzling smile on her beautiful face.
Pansy glanced at Draco and saw an answering smile on his. She felt a sharp stab of jealousy and averted her eyes. She looked at Neville instead and was surprised to see him studying her, lips turned decidedly down. She gave him a weak smile but the frown on his face only deepened.
She thought about taking another glass from one of the waiters circling with trays but decided that she had had more then enough. She licked her lips nervously and watched as the stunning pair made their way through the room. When they were finally standing in front of her she plastered a welcoming smile on her face and hoped that it wouldn't crack.
She laughed at Draco's jokes and pretended not to notice that Weasley was obviously intent on drinking her bodyweight in wine. She ignored Neville's pointed comments, smiled like she had no other facial expression and cursed herself soundly for coming at all.
He wasn't happy to see her. It was as clear as could be. He didn't want to be standing next to her. His body was sending out waves of disgust and annoyance. She had worked so hard to look perfect tonight and he wished wasn't here. Pansy felt as if she were breaking into a million little pieces.
The next time a tray came by she made to grab a drink but was prevent by a strong hand on her wrist. She glanced down at it and then up into his face. He shook his head once and then dropped her arm like it was on fire. She gave him a sneer but didn't take the drink.
By this time Weasley was swaying and Draco had a hand on the small of her back. He leaned close and said something too low for Pansy to hear. Weasley heard, though, and a blush spread across her cheeks. Pansy glanced down at the floor, not wanting to see such naked longing.
"I'm going to escort Miss Weasley home," Draco said in his most upper crust accent.
Pansy risked a glance at him and said, "Oh, don't worry, I'll be perfectly fine. I am more then capable to finding my way to the nearest Floo."
Draco gave her a wry look and Weasley ignored her completely as she wrapped her arms around Draco's neck and moved in for a kiss. Neville made a hissing noise and quickly turned his back on the couple.
"I'll see you home, Pans," he said in a low voice.
She studied her nails, refusing to look at him. "It's nice to know that someone will," she said shrilly.
Draco disengaged himself. "I'll owl you tomorrow, love," he said as way of goodnight.
She nodded once. "Nice seeing you again, Ginevra." Weasley smiled vaguely and Pansy doubted that she would remember anything about tonight come morning.
She waited until they were out of ear shot before saying, "You don't have to bother, Longbottom. I know how very inconvenient this all is to you."
He looked at her as if she had lost her mind. "I said I'd see you home and that's what I plan to do."
Pansy sighed. "I don't want you to."
He shrugged. "It happens that I do."
He took a firm grip on her arm and lead her out of the building. He walked beside her silently for a ways and Pansy had to admit that it was pleasant to be sharing a moonlit walk with him. She thought of the many nights they had walked like this before and an aching need pooled inside of her.
"Why did you do it?" she asked.
He ran a hand through his hair. "I wanted to talk to you."
Pansy felt her heart leap. This was it. This was the moment she had been praying for. He was going to tell her that he loved her, he was going to beg her to take him back. She felt giddy with joy. Then he opened his mouth and she crashed back into reality.
"Stop fawning over Malfoy, Pans. He's a prat. And even if he weren't, he doesn't care a fig about you. It's clear to anyone with eyes that he fancies Ginny and is only using you as a ploy to make her jealous."
Pansy felt as if someone had punched her in the stomach. She took a deep breath and said, "That's absurd."
He laughed. "Trust me on this one, girl." He spun her around to face him. "That man is in love and it sure as hell isn't with you. It's plain as day that you still favor him, though why is completely beyond me. I thought that someone needed to set you down and have a going talking to with you and make you listen to reason."
"And that would be you?"
He shrugged. "Might as well be."
"Look Longbottom, I don't want to hear any lectures. Especially not from you. So just pack it in, would you," Pansy said crisply.
Neville snorted. "I don't give a bronze Knut what you want, Pans. You are going to listen to this and it is going to sink into that vapid little head of yours. Understand?"
Pansy sniffed at him and flipped back her hair. "I'm not stupid enough to think you care what I want. No one with brains would think that you did. You proved that years ago." She glared at him, willing him to say she was wrong.
"Pans," he growled then sighed and ran a hand over his eyes. "This isn't about us, girl."
"Then what is it about?" Pansy asked with a roll of the eyes.
"It's about you keeping that ice cold heart of yours from being broken," Neville said bitterly.
Pansy stiffened. Her eyes narrowed and her nose pinched tight. "My heart," she hissed "is of no concern of yours."
"The hell it isn't!" Neville roared.
Pansy started at him. Her lips mouthing a denial. She took a step towards him, her hand reaching out to fill the space between them. He stumbled backwards, nearly toppling in his haste to get out of reach. The movement caused something inside of her to snap.
"That's right Longbottom," she cooed. "Hurry out of the way. We wouldn't want that nasty Pansy to touch you. We wouldn't want her to contaminate you." She smiled viciously.
Neville shook his head and smiled bemusedly. "You've got it wrong Pans," he said with a self deprecating laugh. "It's not me I'm worried about. It never was," he sighed and then leaned against a wall. "I gave my all for us. I gave one hundred and ten percent. I knew exactly what my goals were and that I would sacrifice everything for them. It was you I wasn't sure of. You were always so self processed. Even when we made love you didn't lose control.
Just look at the way you took my leaving. You went on with you life like nothing had happened. You didn't miss a day of work or anything. I was the one that ended it and I was torn up about it for years afterward. Years! And there you were laughing and smiling as if not a God damn thing had changed."
"That's where you're wrong, mate," Pansy's voice had an edge of insanity to it. Her hands were shaking and her self preservation seemed to have deserted her. "I might of cast a couple of cheering charms and drank more than my fair share of the Draft of Peace, but any fool could see I was broken up about it. Any fool but you, that is," Pansy said with a sneer. "And if you couldn't tell the difference between a drugged out version of me and the real thing then I wasted more time on you then you're worth."
She stepped away from him, turning abruptly and tried to tell herself that the pain she felt was from the discomfort of Apperating and not her battered heart.
"Why don't you just go over there and talk to her?"
"Why should I have to?"
"Stop being such a child, Draco. It doesn't help anything."
"I am not the one sitting the fence here Pansy. She is. She can't make up her mind about what she wants, not me. And I would appreciate it if you stopped being on her side. You're my best friend, and it's about bloody time you started to act like it!"
Pansy rolled her eyes. "I'm not on her side. You know that. She isn't going to up realize what a great thing she has if you don't remind her. She a Weasley, for Christ sake. That means she is going to dither about the morality of a thing until someone makes her mind up for her."
"She's not that weak, Pansy."
"I didn't say she was. All I said is that it will take her forever to come to any sort of decision about you. Her type always does."
Draco narrowed his eyes. "Her type?"
Pansy frowned. "I am not insulting her."
"Answer the question."
"Don't get huffy on me, Draco."
"I won't."
Pansy sighed. "Fine. She's a carbon copy of that mother of hers. She has a completely different world view then we do. Things that don't cause you to lose a minute of sleep will stick in her craw. She isn't able to deal with a relationship with you right now. She might never be able to.
Her whole family deals in absolutes. Either you are with them or you are against them. There is no middle ground. You're a Malfoy. You come from a long line of dark wizards. Her family and yours hate each other. She isn't going to be able to gloss all that over. It's just not in her nature."
"That shouldn't matter."
"But it does."
"It naive to think like that. She knows me. She knows who I am and what I believe in. We've had in-depth discussions about our views on the Dark Arts. She respects my position. She isn't ignorant, Pansy."
"I never said that she was. I don't know her, not the way you do, maybe I'm wrong. For now let's just pretend that I'm not."
"Pansy, I don't see…"
"That's my point! You aren't objective about this. You cannot see things that an outside observer can. I might not be spot on about everything, but at least my emotions aren't tangled up in it like yours are."
"Be that as it may, I don't think you have any idea what you are talking about."
"All I am saying, Draco, is that you need to show her that she can have a life with you without throwing her family over. I don't think she understands that. She's reluctant to be involved with you because she thinks doing so will mean turning her back on her family and all that she cares about."
"If that is what makes her happy, then what do I care? I still get to see her, don't I? It's not like we aren't together. So what if she doesn't admit it, that doesn't change the facts."
"Don't kid yourself, Draco."
"Oh, like your some great expert!"
"Go ahead, lie to yourself. It won't hurt anyone but you. Keep seeing her on the sly. It won't break my heart. Just make sure you know what you are getting into. That girl will suck you in. She'll have you thinking forever in no time flat. And then where will you be?" Pansy challenged, crossing her arms.
"I'll be with her. That's all that matters."
"Maybe now, but what about when you start thinking you might want a family? Do you think she will marry you? She won't even tell her friends that you are dating. You have to do this elaborate dance around each other. No one knows about the two of you because she refuses to let you so much as hold her hand in public. Do you think that is just going to change?"
"She feels the same passion I do, Pansy. That's not something you just forget about. If I give her time I'm sure she will bring us out of the shadows."
"You're lying to yourself. The girl won't even kiss you till she's drunk! You cannot expect me to believe that is healthy."
"That's enough, Pansy."
"No, it's not. You need to accept reality, Draco. Either she needs to tell her family or you need to end it. That's the only way you have a chance."
"I'm leaving. Now."
"Coward." She hissed at his retreating back.
He stiffened and slowly turned to face her. "What did you call me?" He asked is voice rough with suppressed anger.
"You heard me. And you know I am right."
"Watch what you're saying." Draco growled. "You don't want to get in over your head, now do you?"
"You're acting like a fool." Pansy said defiantly. "And I'm not going to let you get away with it."
"A fool? You can't be serious love." Draco gave a cold little laugh.
"What would you call it then? I'd like to know."
"Self perseveration. Plain and simple. I'm not going to run after her. Not this time. I already played that game. So pardon me if I don't feel like getting the shit kicked out of me again."
"You think she'll call it off."
"Bugger off."
"You're afraid that she'll tell you to get lost. You're scared she'll tell you that you don't matter."
"Fuck you, Pansy. You think you're so smart, but I've got your number." Draco laughed nastily. "You think I don't notice what you and Longbottom are doing? You think I can't see the way you look at him? Why don't you take your own damn advice, huh?"
Pansy gave him a hostel look. "Because I already know that I don't matter."
Draco softened instantly. "Oh Merlin, I'm sorry, love. I didn't mean it."
Pansy put a hand to her head. "No, it's alright. It's nothing more then the truth. Neville holds the cards and he doesn't want to deal me in. I'm in over my head. I always have been. That's what comes of loving a Gryffindor. You give them your heart on a platter and they decide that it just isn't enough. All that I am, all that we were, wasn't good enough."
She bit her lip to keep from crying and Draco put an arm around her, pulling her face into his shoulder. He gently stroked her back, soothing her with soft noises. "It's alright, love," he whispered into her ear. "Let's get out of here. I'll take you back to my place and Mopsy will fix you up a nice hot drink."
Pansy smiled watery up at him and nodded. "That sounds nice," she said in a strained voice.
"What sounds nice?" asked an angry female voice.
Pansy turned slightly in Draco's arms and saw Ginny Weasley standing with her hands on her hips and her eyes narrowed. Neville hovered behind her shoulder, a dark look on his handsome face. Pansy lifted her chin and said, "Draco's offered to take me back to his place for a drink. I've accepted." She felt him wince but he didn't contradict her. Weasley opened her mouth and Pansy cut her off. "You don't have a problem with that, do you?" she asked knowing damn well that she did. "After all, Draco is still a free agent. He's at liberty to ask anyone he wants back to his flat." Draco gave her a painful squeeze, but once again let her statement stand.
"You are not going anywhere with him," Neville said flatly.
"Who is going to stop me?" Pansy asked with a cold laugh. "Certainly not you, Longbottom."
Neville glared at her, his hands clenched. He opened his mouth, and then thought better of it. He closed his eyes briefly as if he were steeling himself. His hand shot out, griping her upper arm tightly. He gave Draco a look that should have stopped his heart and Draco lifted his hands up in mock surrender. Neville's hand tightened as he jerked her to him and the world spun wildly as he Disapparated with her.
It took a while for Pansy to collect herself. Once her heart stopped racing she realized that she was in what could only be Neville's bedroom. It was oddly familiar. There was the same old tatty quilt his Gran had made him on his bed and that silly hat that she hated sitting on top of his wardrobe. She recognized a number of photos but was surprised by how many were unfamiliar to her. It made sense. After all, they had been apart for slightly more then five years.
She took a deep breath, trying to remember that she was furious with him but she was hampered by the knowledge that they were alone and that his bed was only a short step away. Neville apparently wasn't having that problem. He paced muttering curses as he ran his fingers through his hair until it stood in peaks. He glared at her and Pansy swallowed.
"Why did you bring me here, Longbottom?" she asked as definitely as she could.
"Merlin only knows, girl," he said in a rough voice.
She rubbed her neck. "I would rather not be here," she said with a pointed look at his bed.
Neville followed her gaze. He stared at the bed as if it held the secrets of the universe his hands clenching and relaxing without him seeming to realize it. "I just couldn't bare the thought of it," he said finally in a low voice. "I couldn't stand the thought of you going off with him. He's no good, Pans. Not for you. Can't you see he's in love with Ginny? You'd always come second best and that's not where you should be." He tore his eyes away from the bed and fixed them on her with a pleading look. "You deserve to be worshiped. You should be treated like a goddess. You shouldn't have to scramble for the scraps of affection Malfoy deigns to give you."
Pansy frowned. "I don't know what you think you are talking about," she began but he cut her off.
"Let me finish this, Pans. I've been trying to say it for years and if I don't do it now I never will. I know I wasn't good enough. I know I couldn't give you what you deserved, but I loved you. Maybe I didn't have money or a fancy house, but I had love. And fool that I was I thought that would be enough. Sometimes I still think it would have been." He glanced down at the threadbare rug on the floor and laughed hollowly. "But then, I can't see you living in a place like this. Not here. You wouldn't have been happy. That's why I left. Because I knew that somewhere there was a man who could give you all that I couldn't. I wanted you to have the world, Pans. I wanted to be able to give it to you. But I didn't and now I see you with Malfoy and it just kills me."
"Neville," Pansy held her hand out to him but he just shook his head.
"No. I'm not done. Just let me say this last bit and then you can do whatever it is that makes you happy. That's all I wanted. You happy. And maybe that arrogant git can cover you in diamonds and set up in a palace, but does he make you happy? Does he make you smile? Is it enough, Pans? Is it really enough? I didn't have much but everything I had I gave to you. He has everything, but he doesn't give you but a tenth of it. And if Ginny had the good sense god gave a flobberworm, you wouldn't even have that. So think about it, Pans. Think long and hard. And tell me if it makes you happy."
Pansy shook her head in disbelief, tears welling in her eyes. "You fool. You bloody, heroic, Gryffindor fool. How can you be so utterly stupid? You left because you didn't think you were good enough? Are you mad? You thought you couldn't make me happy? Damn it, Longbottom, you made me the happiest I've ever been in my life. What do I care about diamonds and palaces? I had you. And it was enough. It was more than enough. We could have lived in that hovel the Weasleys call a home and I would have been happy."
Neville blinked at her. "Aw, Pans, you say that now. But if you had to face the reality of it. If you had to work day in and day out just to make ends meet," he shook his head. "That's no life for you."
Pansy felt her temper flare and she flew across the room. She pulled back her arm and punched him as hard as she could in the stomach. "You put me through hell because of some fantasy you have of what my life should be like? You complete arse!" she turned her back on him, not wanting him to see her tears. "I loved you so much, Neville. And when you left I thought it would kill me. I kept going over in my mind, trying to find out what I did wrong. And all the while it was you playing the hero. Merlin, I should have listened to my mother. Gryffindors are nothing but trouble," she said between sobs.
"Hush, love," Neville soothed as his strong arms came around her. He turned her so that she faced him then pressed her head down to rest on his shoulder. He stroked her back and Pansy felt the emptiness inside her ease. "Don't cry, sweetheart," Neville said and he raised her face to kiss her.
The second his lips touched hers she knew she was lost.
It was as if no time had past. His body felt as natural pressed up against hers as it always had. His hands knew where to touch her and she felt as if she were on fire. His lips rubbed against hers and she instinctively opened her mouth to him, moaning as his tongue swept inside. Her hands tangled in his hair and she pressed her breast against his chest, hating the fabric that separated them.
She pulled away to kiss along the line of his jaw, pausing to nibble at that spot behind his ear. He shuddered against her, her name a prayer on his lips and she smiled at the familiar power. She reached for her wand but he was faster then her. He held her wand aloft and gave her an intent look.
"Are you sure?" he asked breathlessly.
Pansy made a face. "Of all that stupid questions in the world, you had to ask that one?"
"I'm serious, girl."
She rolled her eyes and slipped a hand between his legs. She cupped his erect penis and gave it a good squeeze. "As sure as I've ever been," she said with a sly smile.
He rocked against her hand, eyes closing as he moaned. "It's always this way with you, Pans. Always."
She took advantage of his lapse to retrieve her wand. A flick later and she was naked. One more and he was too. Her eyes roamed his body, taking in the changes in an instant. "You're so beautiful," she said reverently as she traced a line down his hard flesh.
"Isn't that my line?" he asked as he reached forward to cup her breasts. His fingers flicked across her nipples and he smiled. "So damn beautiful. Too beautiful for the likes of me." He lowered his head and his lips closed around the right one.
Pansy bit her lip as his clever tongue traced patterns and his teeth worried at the puckered bud. She shivered as his hand mimicked the motion on its twin and she brought her own hand to her mouth. She licked the palm of her hand, making sure that it was good and wet, before lowering it to his penis.
She took a firm grip and smiled as his body jerked. Slowly, ever so slowly, she moved her hand up. Keeping the pressure steady, she slowly lowered it. Again and again, she moved her hand until he was bucking at her and his mouth dropped away from her breast.
"Don't tease me," he panted and she gave a wicked laugh.
"Oh, Longbottom, you poor bastard, I haven't even begun to tease you yet." And with that she circled his head with the still wet center of her hand. His head yet back and he bit off a cry.
"Two can play that game," he said through gritted teeth, his hands sliding up her body. He shifted slightly and Pansy found herself sailing through the air. Her body crashed into the bed, knocking the wind out of her, and before she could get it back she found herself trapped beneath him.
Her legs opened willingly, letting him press himself against her. She kissed him hard, arching up so that the tips of her breast rubbed against him at the same time that her nether lips caressed him from bellow. He leaned into the motion and she sighed contentedly at the heat his action produced. He reached between them, spreading her open with one hand while the tip of him slid inside. He paused then, their bodies almost joined, with a wicked smile on his face. His clever fingers found the nub nestled in her folds and flicked it as he slid fully inside of her.
He pressed into her as slowly as he could until she thought she would scream from frustration, then the completed the movement with a strong thrust and ground into her, rubbing himself against her until she withered against him. Then he pulled out and thrust into her again. Pansy arched up, her hands digging into his shoulders as he repeated the action as slowly this time as he had the first.
"Faster, Longbottom," she demanded, pounding her fist against his chest.
He chuckled. "What that, love?"
"You heard me, faster."
"Anything for a lady," he said with a grin and slammed into her. Pansy felt a jolt of pleasure shot through her and she eagerly met his powerful strokes. She begged him to go faster and harder until she thought she would be split in two by the force of it. And then she was.
Her whole body shuddered as she felt the beginnings of her orgasm hit her. She threw her head back, screaming Neville's name. She felt the perfect rhythm of his falter as his own climax came rushing towards him. His body rocked into hers and she cupped the back of his head as he bit down on her shoulder, silencing his scream.
When it was over she smiled up at the ceiling, wondering how soon they could do it again. Neville lay beside her, his hand tracing patterns on her stomach. She felt safe in his arms. She always did. It was one of the things she loved most about him, the way he made her feel protected. She put her hand on his, trapping it against her skin, and twisted to face him.
"This is how is should always be, Longbottom."
His fingers interlaced with hers and he pulled her hand over his heart. "This is how it will always be," he agreed. Then he leaned in close and whispered, "Marry me," right before he kissed her.