Disclaimer: Not mine!

Author's Notes: As promised! The FIRST Tohma/Suguru fanfiction (full lenagth). No one shots or one sided stories here. This is the real deal folks! Enjoy! But if you don't like a little cousin lovin' don't read. Even though the smut comes later! Enjoy!

Teach Me

Nowhere You Can Go

Every child hero worships an older sibling, or when in a close family, an only child can hero worship an older relative. Aunt, uncle, cousin. Something to make up for lack of a playmate. Everyone has their idols to look up to, throw their attentions towards. Usually, at a certain age, the child throws the attentions and worship towards an Unreachable. Someone famous, known publicly and throughout their age group. Someone they'd have to constantly look up to, never surpass.

There was a time between the two when things were simple and untainted. They lived their lives, saw each other from time to time and that was the routine. Suguru would see Tohma whenever the family had a party or holiday, and Tohma would see Suguru at those times.

To Suguru, Tohma was perfect. Everyone in the family lavished praise on him. He was smart, soon to go to business school to take over for his father one day, polite, the perfect Seguchi bred child. Suguru was well on his way to doing the same. Tohma became his role model whenever he was told to do something, learn something new, told to act a certain way. It was never a surprise when anyone asked the boy what he wanted to be when he grew up; his answer was always the same.

"I want to be like To-chan!"

The day Suguru was born, Tohma was excited at the prospect of a new member to the family and thrilled for his aunt and uncle. The baby's party had been elaborate and dull, introductions and boasts from adults, smaller kids running around, dirtying the clothing that their parents had taken time and effort to dress them in. And in a little basket, always at his aunt's side, was the newborn himself, dressed in white, which went with the dark head of hair, large green eyes peering out silently as the many guest went up to coddle him, coo over him. He didn't do much until Tohma had taken a moment sometime during the middle of the party to go see his new little cousin.

And at the flash of blonde hair and teal eyes accompanied with a small quirk of a smile and wiggle of slender fingers, Suguru smiled, gurgling pleasantly as a small pudgy hand opened and closed, trying to reach for one of Tohma's gloved fingers. Tohma's smile grew and he leaned in closer, letting the tiny hand fist around a finger. He was adorable. Tohma noted that they were the only two with green eyes, though different shades, and somewhat the same feature wise, though Suguru's chubby little face made it a little hard to come to that conclusion.

"You're the first one he's taken a liking to," an amused female voice said from behind the blonde.

Tohma looked over his shoulder, smiling at his aunt. "Really?"

She nodded, watching her son try to pull Tohma's finger towards his toothless mouth.

"Well, I'm sure it's nothing Aunt Akiko," he told her, as if it were something to worry about.

"No worries, dear. None at all," she agreed and walked of, an amused glint in her dark eyes.

He looked back at his baby cousin and shook his head slightly. Suguru watched and smiled.

"Your mother is weird," he told the baby in a hushed tone.

He gurgled in what seemed to be agreement and Tohma gave a breathy laugh.

"But she's not as weird as my mother," the blonde said, raising his eyebrows. Suguru gave a gurgling laugh, as if he knew this already. "Devout Buddhist. Crazy as a loon."

Leaning awkwardly, Tohma pulled a chair from behind him so he could sit in front of his cousin, whose basket was perched on a table, as if on display.

"Sug-kun," he cooed softly, and Suguru waved his arms slightly, taking Tohma's hand with him since he still had a good grip on the finger. "You like that, do you? Alright then. Now I know what to call you. What do you think of our fathers?"

With the question, he jerked his head at two suit clad men with drinks in hand arguing over business.

"Like twins those two," he sighed, smile fading.

Suguru mimicked him and dropped his smile, tugging at his hand slightly. Tohma saw this and smiled again.

"My father wants me to take over the business one day… I want to make music," Tohma confessed quietly, using his free hand to smooth over the baby's head lightly. "But that doesn't matter does it? The Seguchi namesake has to be upheld and passed on. Can you believe my parents had me engaged?"

Suguru just watched his cousin, taking in everything with an understanding eye, giving back nothing but silent wisdom that only children seemed to have. Tohma rose from the chair, gently removing his finger. Suguru screwed up his face, as if someone had taken away his favorite toy and was about to empty his lungs in a scream. But Tohma caught the look and stooped slightly, one hand cradling the boy behind his neck, the other slipping under his small, cherub body, lifting him from the basket. Suguru immediately brightened, making pleased enthusiastic noises as Tohma took his seat again.

"I've never held a child before," Tohma said absently, wondering slightly how he knew what to do. "But you're… comforting. Different from the other ones."

Suguru seemed pleased with this, waving his little hands around.

"Your mother's a good woman," he told Suguru firmly. "And I hope she lets you choose your life, Sug-kun. Don't be like me."

After that, they were as inseparable as a pair could get when you didn't see each other often. Tohma's father was the oldest of three, Akiko was the middle child and they had another aunt that was mysteriously never mentioned. Ever. The blonde always wondered what she had done wrong to be cast out of the family like that, but never questioned it out loud.

When Suguru could walk, he would toddle around after Tohma, when he could speak, his first words were 'Ma', 'Da', 'No', and 'To'. Tohma found him a delightful source of merriment when they were together. Teaching him how to pronounce things, pointing out things, keeping him, practically, all to himself. But it wasn't as though anyone noticed or cared it seemed. Children of the family were just replacements for when their parents died off. Someone to train to take their place, get married and make sure the name continued onward.

Tohma loved his little cousin very deeply, and it hurt when he decided not to tell him he was leaving for New York when he had made up his mind to go, taking Eiri with him. He'd always told Suguru before a concert tour or a trip if he was leaving, and now it felt like he was lying to his little cousin. His little shadow, as he'd taken up to thinking of him. But he had been worried that if Suguru found out he was taking his fiancée's younger brother along with him, his cousin may have gotten upset because he couldn't have joined them. And then he might've had to explain his feelings for the young blonde. Something he didn't want to get into, especially with his ten-year-old cousin.

The atrocities came and went, and after going home, Tohma had stayed in a hotel, lying dormant for a week. The next few weeks, he started going through his things to throw things away. As if to purge himself of the horror. While yanking (a very un-Tohma thing to do) a shirt out of a suitcase, a paper fluttered to the floor. He picked it up, realizing that it was the letter his aunt had sent him while he had been overseas. It talked about his little cousin and how he didn't seem phased at all when she broke the news about his trip. It praised his new found ability to play piano and Synth (they had given him an old one of Tohma's). The blonde had a sudden urge to go visit Suguru.

One cab and half an hour later, he was ringing the bell at the Fujisaki's door.

Akiko opened the door, long black hair pulled back and away from her face as her dark eyes brightened on registering who was standing in her doorway.

"Ah! Tohma, come in, come in," she greeted jovially, stepping aside to let her nephew in. "I wasn't expecting a visit! I want to hear all about your trip. Suguru should be here somewhere, I'm sure he'll be ecstatic to see you!"

"Oh, it's really nothing to speak about," Tohma said with a kind smile, trying to ignore the sickness in his stomach. He didn't want to remember any of it. He wanted it all to fade away into nothing.

Like a nightmare he could shake off and forget as it faded.

"Just a bunch of boring business and networking. And I just got back. I actually came to see Suguru. I recalled your letter, the one you sent last that spoke of him taking up the piano."

Before he joined Nittle Grasper, he'd planned on being a concert pianist, and he still loved the piano.

"Oh yes," she agreed, nodding as she led him in. "It honestly just started out of nowhere. He just wanted to start playing. I almost think it was because he missed you."

Akiko laughed lightly, as if it were a silly reason. Just something in her head.

"But he's been doing quite well, practices constantly," she practically gushed to her nephew.

"But I'm not as good as you," Suguru said softly, appearing from upstairs, eyes on his cousin.

"Ah! Here he is, "Akiko said, announcing the obvious. "I'll make tea. Suguru's missed you so much."

And with that she flitted out of the room.

Finally, Suguru broke into a smile and went over to the blonde. "You're home!"

"I'm home," Tohma positively beamed down at the adorable little boy, crouching to grab him. Seemingly frail, Tohma was amazingly strong for his size.

"And I missed you! I came to see you and only you, you know, " Tohma informed the child, giving him a kiss to the forehead. "I was lonely and I started thinking about you, and how much I would love to see you play. I bet you're better than you think. Come on now, you know modesty doesn't run in the family. And neither does lack of talent."

Suguru was a beautiful child, but then again, that also ran in the family. But, out of every family member, Tohma had always preferred Suguru to all of them.

Suguru laughed when he was picked up, latching onto his cousin. Tohma was back! He'd been gone forever, but he said he missed him and came to see just him!

"Maybe... the teacher keeps making me play all the stupid stuff though," he said, making a face. "But" he said in a lowered tone, a small smile on his lips "I try to figure out how to play other stuff when he's gone."

He said it like it was the biggest secret in the world. He knew the basics and could recognize those notes quickly, and in the back of some of his books, it showed him other notes too! It was a lot of guess work but it was more fun than playing a scale over and over.

"And you should. How else are you going to become the best musician in the world and steal my job?" Tohma asked him in a voice of wonder. Reaching up, he pushed thin fingers through the front of Suguru's hair, petting him affectionately.

"Some teachers hate it when their students exhibit more talent than they have, so don't let anyone ever tell you how to make music as long as you enjoy it," and he was just the cutest thing ever.

Bouncing him a bit, Tohma carried him through to sit on the couch with the child in his lap.

"I don't want to steal your job!" He cried out playfully. "But we could both be the best musicians in the world and rule it together!"

Suguru laughed as Tohma bounced their way to the couch. He sat facing Tohma and had one hand tug at his shirt.

"Tell me about your trip! Did you play a lot? Did you have fun? How come I couldn't go with you?"

Tohma didn't want to frown, and he didn't want to make a sad face. But, those were the expressions he felt surfacing when he thought about the trip. Oh, it had begun so wonderfully, but it ended in hell.

"We played a lot, and we got to talk to lots of magazine and radio people. It was fun. Half the time, they couldn't tell a word of what we were saying, so I think we were funny dressed novelties to them playing music they were interested in only because it was new and foreign," he tended to speak to Suguru like an adult, though the boy was just a child.

"Sometimes it was fun, sometimes it was tiring, and it was boring a lot. But, I like boredom. Sometimes. I like having nothing to do but lay around in these waning days of my youth.

He hugged Suguru to him tightly, kissing his head, so glad that Suguru wasn't there.

"Oh, your parents would have hated it if I'd have taken you so far away from them."

"Well... at least they liked the music," he said, trying to cheer him up.

Tohma sounded a little sad. Maybe he really didn't like the boredom? Maybe he didn't like the people that he had to talk with. Tohma liked talking to people who understood music, maybe they didn't know anything.

"But you would've had more fun if I was there," Suguru protested, hugging him back. "And you could've taught me how to play!"

Tohma clung tighter, only loosening when it came to him that he may be hurting Suguru.

Pushing his face into the warm neck of the youth, he let the soft, baby smooth skin relax him.

"I'll come over every day and teach you now," he whispered, promising. Suguru was unbroken, untouched. And if Tohma had Suguru around, he could pretend that he wasn't, too. He loved Suguru even more for providing him that outlet. "We can have lots of fun together now that I'm home."

His eyes widened at hearing Tohma's words.

He was going to teach him?

"Really?" Suguru asked in awe.

It wasn't everyday that your famous relative would devote time to you. Then again, it wasn't everyday you had a famous relative. It just didn't seem real to him. Tohma would come and play with him now!

"Cross my heart," Tohma did just that, setting the promise in stone by crossing his heart with a single finger. "That way, you won't have some stuffy teacher that won't let you play what you want."

"Well, there will be times when I have to go on tour, but consider that a vacation away from me," he'd always been nothing but kind to Suguru, though. "You'll need it after putting up with me as a teacher."

Tenderly, he put his hand through Suguru's thick, soft hair, pushing it away from his delicate face.

"No," Suguru denied, shaking his head. "I won't need it... but you might!"

He laughed brightly at his own words. Tohma might be a hard teacher, but Suguru couldn't think of anyone else he wanted to spend so much time with.

"Thank you, To-chan!"

"A vacation from you? Never," Tohma insisted, holding his hands out flat infront of Suguru, "Remove my gloves for me."

Suguru was an eager to please child, and Tohma also adored that about him. It accentuated his innocence, and Tohma fed off of things that were pure and... undiseased.

"M'kay," Suguru said, one hand wrapping around a thin wrist as the other pulled at the fingertips of the gloves.

He did it methodically; index, middle, ring, pinky, thumb. Once finished with that, he eased the glove off one of Tohma's hands and repeated the process with the other.

"All done!" Suguru announced happily, a glove in each hand.

Tohma flexed his hands, stretching and letting his skin get used to the cool air. Taking his gloves, he set them to the side within reach if he felt the need to put them back on.

Sliding his fingers through Suguru's hair, his palms resting just at his cheeks.

"Want to play something for me? One of the things you play that your teacher won't let you?" he asked, hands moving once again to push through Suguru's hair.

"Yeah!" Suguru cried enthusiastically. "I can't keep the tempo yet... my hands have to stretch really far to get some of the notes."

He liked when Tohma didn't wear his gloves, it made him feel that much closer to his cousin. Suguru never saw him without them and he thought Tohma had such pretty hands. It was nice to see them released from their prison.

"But I can try, right?"

"That's okay, they'll grow," Tohma understood small hands, he had the same problem when he started to play. That was, until his parents bought him a small piano. The syth, though, he didn't start playing until he was 14, so his hands were growing thanks to the onset of puberty.

"I want you to try."

That was all he ever wanted. It didn't matter of Suguru couldn't reach some notes and hit them a second or two too late. What mattered was the attention and focus that Suguru put into his playing. And yes, whether or not he knew what tempo he was supposed to keep, but couldn't physically to do.

Standing up, he carried Suguru up with him.

"Okay, tell me where to take you."

"Upstairs," he directed, arms wrapped around the blonde's neck. "Second door on the right. It used to be an office for dad, but mom kicked him out of that room so now he keeps his stuff in a smaller room."

Suguru smiled, pleased at himself for knowing such information. As with all young children, they wanted to prove that they knew more than anyone thought they should even if the information was unnecessary.

"And I got a piano while you were away and your mom even let my have one of your old Synths," Suguru told him, proud that he knew what it was called.

"Ooooh, so you have your own room for playing now? Lucky you! Sug-kun has his own studio, " Tohma said in an impressed voice, kissing the small, soft temple. Under his lips, he felt the heartbeat, lingering to steal it for a while.

He took the long steps up to the second floor. Counting one and two, he headed to the second door on the right.

"I'm so happy that she gave it to you, too. And you don't know how happy it makes me to hear that you've taken an interest in playing."

Gently, he set Suguru down at the door.

"We're just like each other!"

"Yep!" He said proudly, straightening up a little as he opened the door. "Cause I wanna be just like you, To-chan!"

And that was the gods honest truth. Suguru had been following Tohma around for as long as he could remember. He wouldn't want it any other way. And neither would the blonde. He loved his little cousin and enjoy the affections he gave towards him. The child was so much like himself, and on some levels, not at all. But Tohma was glad he had come after all, because when it seemed he had nowhere else to go, he'd found somewhere he belonged after all.

Good start? Bad?

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Please review!

SL