A/N:
I realized as I was writing this that I am a bit out of cannon- the conversation between Sam and Jack about Pete takes place, on the actual show, in Season 7, after Jack becomes General and Sam is also promoted, to Lt. Colonel. So, please give me some artistic license if you would, and accept that for the purposes of this fic the promotions haven't happened yet, Hammond is still in charge, Janet is still alive (yay!) and Sam was engaged to Pete for a short while but broke the engagement off just before the mission where she was captured by the Goa'uld Damon. All of which, I guess, makes this an AU fic. Anyway if you're now confused, I apologize! It should become clear as you read this chapter. (I hope:))
By the way, I want to thank all of my reviewers VERY MUCH, and apologize for not thanking you each individually. RL has been demanding as of late. It adds so much to the fun of writing to read your input and comments and to know you are still out there with me. Thanks again!
Here's Chapter 8 now.
The mood in the conference was that of barely contained excitement, mixed with a healthy fear of what the band of allies was about to undertake. Jacob, as liaison to the SGC and Earth, had just sat down after outlining an ambitious plan to infiltrate the stronghold and laboratory of the Goa'uld Damon on a cold ice planet he had transformed into a secret base of operations. The Tok'Ra, after several weeks of careful detective work, now knew its location. They figured they knew more about it than even the Goa'uld system lords.
"Thank you, Selmak, for your report. SG1, Colonel O'Neill, I want you ready to accompany the Tok'Ra to Damon's planet within the hour. Inform SG6 they will be accompanying you. Dismissed."
Hammond stood and looked at Jacob, waiting for the rest of the personnel in the room to leave before addressing him.
"Jacob, I think you're aware that your daughter has asked to be discharged from her duties as an officer with SG1. But the only one of my people who has been to this Goa'uld's hideout before is Sam. Any knowledge she has will be invaluable to this effort. Do you want me to have her accompany the mission?"
Jacob's face contorted in a grimace of concern as he considered the offer. Jacob hated to put his daughter in such a position; she'd been through enough. But Selmak was obstinately whispering in his mind, reminding him of just how important her presence on this mission might prove to be.
"If she has any memories at all of this Goa'uld and his work, then yes, we need her. But I don't want you to order her to go. I'll ask her, and leave the decision up to her."
'So if she says no, Selmak, you'll drop it, right?' Jacob asked the Tok'Ra mentally. He could have sworn the snake turned her back on him and sulked.
Jacob made his way past the locker room, where he could hear SG1 and SG6 getting ready for the very difficult mission ahead. He worked his way to where he knew he'd find his daughter, hunched over her lab table trying to pry open some alien doohickey. She straightened up as he entered the doorway.
"Dad!"
"Hi, Sam. How are you doing?"
"Pretty good." Her voice was cool and professional, and Jacob tried not to be hurt by the tone. Sam knew now that he was her father, but so many memories of their life were still missing that Sam had little attachment to him.
"Sam, I'm here to ask you something I want you to feel free to say no to. The mission to Damon's planet leaves within the hour. We will first go to the Tok'Ra base and outline the plan of attack. Then we will be heading out in three separate ships to the world Damon is hiding out on. Sam, do remember anything from your captivity?"
"I have...dreams, visions, flashbacks...whatever you want to call them. But they don't make much sense to me. I don't think I can tell you anything that will be of practical help."
"Not here, on Earth, no. But Selmak thinks if you were to return to that environment, some of your disjointed memories would make sense and be of help to the effort to bring down Damon."
Sam thought for a minute.
"Okay, I'll go get prepped to go."
"Whoa, Sam! That was too easy. I thought you had decided to quit the field unit part of your job. Don't say 'yes' just because you think it's what I want to hear."
"I'm not, Dad. Really. I made the decision to retire from the military and SG1 because I thought my efforts to reclaim my memories should be concentrated on my academics first. I am afraid of being a liability in the field, of costing someone else their life because I can't remember basic military protocol. Or how to get the safety off my gun, or something little that could become a big mistake. But if you think I can be of use to the effort to get this Goa'uld, I'm in."
"Just like that?" Jacob was smiling with pride at his fearless daughter.
"Just like that." Sam turned and walked out, turning right.
"Uh, Sam?"
"Yeah, Dad?"
"The locker room is that way."
"Right. I knew that." Sam pivoted and went the other way down the grey hall, grimacing with embarassment.
The expedition was underway within a couple of hours from the Tok'Ra base, comprised of a team of about 25 personnel, both Taur'i and Tok'Ra, spread out amongst three cloaked ships. Jack had made certain he was on board the same ship as Sam. He wanted to get a chance to talk with her privately, and the two-day journey through space to their destination would, he hoped, provide him an opportunity for such an encounter.
Once everything had settled down into a waiting pattern, Jack sought her out. He found her gazing out the aft observation window, watching the hyperspace patterns whiz by.
"I can't look at it too long," he commented. "Gives me a headache."
"It's a lot of visual information, too much for the brain to process," Sam returned, continuing to watch nevertheless.
"I'm kinda surprised you came with," Jack observed next, watching her patiently.
"Me too," Sam confessed. "I thought I'd given it up, SG1 and all, but as soon as Dad offered me a chance to come on a mission, I jumped at it. I guess I haven't quite given it up after all."
"I'm glad," Jack told her. "Hey, I read your story," he ventured. "I like how you write. But, I was wondering, where'd you come up with the dialogue between Hunter and McCall?"
"Which part?"
"The part where Hunter says, 'I wouldn't be here,'" and McCall says, "'What do you mean by that', and so on," Jack recited. He looked very uncomfortable. Sam turned her full attention on him.
"I just made it up," she said defensively.
Jack was quiet for a few moments, and looked as if he was debating with himself inwardly.
"No, you didn't," Jack finally answered hesitantly.
"What do you mean?"
"Well," Jack cleared his throat, "Uh, we, you and I, actually had a conversation a lot like that."
"When?" Sam asked incredulously, her cheeks and the tips of her ears beginning to turn pink.
"When you told me Pete had proposed, and you were trying to decide whether or not to accept him."
"Who's Pete?"
The irresistible temptation to paint the picture from his own feelings spilled over Jack. He mightily resisted the opportunity to give his version of who Pete was. Sam and Pete had been engaged for a while, but Sam had broken it off just before the fateful mission when she was captured and lost to them. Pete had never called again and probably to this day had no idea anything had even happened to Sam. His cold indifference towards Sam, once the engagement was officially ended, had turned Jack against him even more. Let's face it, Jack's disdain for Pete had been sealed since the day they had met at the stakeout in front of Daniel's house, and Jack had realized the jerk had tailed Sam to see what she was hiding from him.
When Sam had told Jack she'd broken off the engagement, Jack had had a hard time concealing his complete delight with the news. He'd actually dragged her down to the corner coffee shop for a huge piece of celebratory cake, outwardly claiming he was just hungry and needed some company.
"Uh, well, he was a cop that you were engaged to for a short while," Jack explained tersely, emphasizing the word 'short'.
"I was engaged?"
"Twice, actually."
"This is too weird. So where are this ex-fiancees of mine?"
"Oh, well, Jonas died on an SGC mission, and Pete, well, he kinda dropped out of your life after you broke up with him."
"Was I upset? About my fiancee dying I mean?" Sam looked completely lost as she relied on Jack's inadequate comments to help rebuild her past.
"Well, you weren't engaged to him at the time. He had kinda gone...crazy. He thought he was a god. It was on another planet. He tried to kill you, and me, and Daniel and Teal'C, and he did actually kill some other soldiers, and well, he fell into the Stargate and..."
"Okay, I get it, it's a long story," Sam stopped him. "So I wasn't upset?"
"You were, but not because you'd lost the love of your life or anything. It was just a tough thing to see happen, I think, watching someone you used to have feelings for get killed in front of you."
"Okay, okay," Sam countered, mentally trying to go back to the original conversation.
"So, this Pete guy asked me to marry him, and I came to you and you're saying we actually talked? You and me? About personal stuff? Back then when we were working together? About whether I should get engaged or not?"
"Hey, you started it," Jack pointed out defensively.
"So I said..." she prompted.
"that you always thought someday you'd actually have a life," Jack continued. "And I said, you know, it's possible to have a family and be a part of the SGC, other people have done it."
"And then I said..."
"Then you said something like, 'what about us'?"
"I did?" Sam was smiling now, remembering the conversation she'd written in her fanfiction between Hunter and McCall. Jack's memories were dovetailing a bit too closely with the so-called fictional story she'd so obliviously written.
"Yeah, and I said something stupid, like, "I wouldn't be here.'"
They were both quiet for a minute. Then Sam moved over to him and put her hand on his arm where he sat on the floor, leaning against the bulkhead.
"Jack. I've enjoyed spending time with you these past few weeks. The hockey game, the movies, eating out together, walking around, just being together. I like being with you, Jack. I like it a lot. I've depended on you a lot, too. You're my best friend. I guess I knew, on some level, that going back to SG1 would mean giving some of that up. I don't want to give it up. I guess I was writing from memories I can't consciously recall when I wrote that story. I really like the ending."
Jack laughed out loud. "Yeah, it's a great ending. Happily ever after and all that."
He turned to look at Sam.
"That isn't exactly where that conversation went in real life, though," Jack mused softly, looking at Sam with a hint of regret in his dark eyes.
The two fell silent, each cautiously studying the other's face.
"There you are," Daniel's voice startled them as he bounded through the slightly open door of the room they were sitting in. Sam and Jack both inwardly cursed his impeccable timing.
"Here we are," Jack agreed tiredly. "What's up?"
We're in cloaked orbit around the planet. We are being called to the rings for deployment to the planet's surface."
Jack turned back to Sam upon hearing her soft gasp at Daniel's proclamation.
"You still okay with this?" He asked as he stood up and clipped on his P90.
"As ready as I'll ever be," she answered tensely. "Let's go."
TBC