What if?
Disclaimer:Hieigod064 does not own any full metal alchemist related titles, characters or ideas. And I apologize in advance if I misspell any terms or word in general.
Setting: the setting takes place in the episode where Ed and Al go to lab 5 the part where Ed is about to make the philosophers stone, and in he real series can't do it.
Al: NO BROTHER, DON'T DO IT! DON'T DO IT!
Ed: Al, I promised you I would get your body back to normal, and right now I don't care how I do it, and there doesn't seem to be any other way… (touches the transmutation circle)
(big flash of light and the sound of something being transmuted)
Lust: yes… finally the philosophers stone!
Al: NOOOOOOOOO!
(the light fades and the blood red philosophers stone sit in the center of the transmutation circle)
Envy: now boy! Change us back… NOW!
Ed: (starts bawling) I…. I cant believe I did-
Lust: well you did… so you might as well us the stone.
Ed: how could I! By using that thing I'll be reminded this moment, I just killed all those people!
Al: (in a whimpering voice) brother..
Envy: good grief! Lust can we use the #$& thing yet?
Lust: (sigh) I would have hoped that it wouldn't have came to this…
(Lust, Gluttony, and Envy all put dark sunglasses)
Ed: wait what are you guys doing!
Lust: (pulls out the flashy-thingy form men in black) just be still… (uses flashy thing on the two brothers, then the three homunculi take off their sunglasses at the same time)
Ed: what- what just happened where am I?
Lust: why ed you just found the philosophers stone? don't you remember?
Ed: (looks at Al, who is also dazed and confused) then what happened to Al? (the homunculi took off his arms and legs)
Lust: oh him, out of excitement tripped on a stick of dynamite
Ed: okayyyy….
Envy: now do us a favor and turn us human…
Ed: excuse m-
----ZAP---- (MIB thingy)
Ed: whoa! What happened to al
Lust: oh him? He fell asleep in a crop harvester…
Ed: really? Is that true Al?
Al: (still a tad dazed) um.. I guess so…
Lust: look, in a nutshell, we're… um… robots…right robots… so now that you have the philosophers stone could you turn us into humans?
Ed: 0-0''' uhh… shurrre… (transmutes the three homoguli)
Gluttony: (who is now a plumper cousin of the monopoly mascot with an English accent) My I say boy, you did a bang-up job returning me to normal, I say being that moron was a definite pain in my side. (waddles away)
Envy: (who is now a preppy thirteen-year-old cheerleader) woo-hoo! Were human again! Yayyyyyyy!
Lust: (who IS scar's brother's girlfriend, only she's normal clothes) 00 envy I thought that you were a GUY!
Envy: I'm a CROSSDRESSER! YAYYYYY!
(authors note: envy super-fans, please don't review this fic to give me grief about the part above…)
Ed: 00 wow..
Al: brother! Now that we have the stone we can get our bodies ba-
Armstrong: (bursting through the wall) FRET NOT EDWARD ELRIC! The art of bursting through solid objects has been a technique passed down through the Armstrong line for GENERATIONS!
Ed: why?
Armstrong: (thinks for a second)…. I actually have no idea, it's the only time I've had to use it….
Al: Major! We found the stone!
Armstrong: (gives a dramatic thumbs-up while crying uncontrollably)
Ed: right… first things first! Al! here we go! (transmutes Al)
Al: ed…. (sob)
Ed: al…..(sob)
Armstrong: such a touching reunion between two brothers now that-
Ed: would you just SHUT UP already! man…
Armstrong: just one thing.. (whips out a big meter-stick and puts it next to Ed) "4,7" (puts big meter stick next to Al) "4,10"…….
Ed: are you f-
prolonged swearing spasms
Ed (who's entire body is smoking) gasp….gasp…..
Al: um… brother maybe we should get some rest.. Besides you can pester Mustang in the morning!
Ed: you're right… let's hit the sack…(sigh)
the next day in mustang's office
Mustang: well fullmetal I here you found the philosophers stone the other night.. But before you do anything I just want to warn you that anything you found in lab 5 couldn't possib-
Ed: (tucks down his right sleeve to reveal a normal human arm) yhea, and I'd like to take this-
Mustang: (sarcastically) you're not lee position you leaving are you? Because you know that even if you do have the philosophers stone, you still need money, and its highly forbidden to transmute any sort of currency…
Ed: O.O (I never though about that)
Mustang: and the position you have here isn't to bad either, dogs get paid big bucks and benefits you know…
Ed: Fff-fine! But I'm tacking a huge vacation!
Mustang: (grinning) fine… I'll be waiting…fullmetal…
Ed: (glares at mustang) I hate you (transmutes mustang's desk into a man-eating plant via philosophers stone) then walks out the door
Man eating plant: GRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGHHHHHHHHHHHKKKK!
Mustang: HOLY SON OF A-
(in the hallway outside mustang's office)
Hues: hey ed, nice looking arm!
Ed: thanks! No new pictures?
Hues: nah, apparently when they say 1-hour photo, it only applies to one or two rolls of film, so this weekend's batch might take awhile. Oh, by the way my horoscope yesterday said I was gonna die soon but this morning's one just said "never mind…" isn't that odd?
Ed: (perplexed) yhea that is weird, well see ya.
Hues: bye!
On his supposed "vacation" Ed and Al decided to go back to Resinbol
(at the Pinoko residence)
Winery: he you guys are back soo- ohmygosh! AL'S BACK
Al: (giggle)
Ed: yhea I guess your out of business, we found the rock alright. Which reminds me.. (bends down on one knee and holds out a ring.) will you- you know.. Merry me?
Al: (shocked and appalled)
Winrey: I-I- don' know what to say… except… what's up with the ring?
(the ring Ed's holding has a gray stone instead of a diamond.)
Ed: (smiles) it's polished steel, I'd thought you'd like it.
END OF CHAPTER 1
didn't see that one coming now didja! Im gonna make another chapter about a;; the fun he has with the stone and all that, but in the meantime, PLEASE REVIEW, IF YOU LIKED THIS FIC!