Author's Notes: I suppose that in some ways this could be thought to contain mild lime content, as it does with a subject that is generally found only in adult material. Though considering that the intimacy level doesn't reach (let alone exceed) holding hands, this is only a cursory warning. Just a random idea, really.

Twisted Reflections
A brief and decidedly weird fanfic idea.

Sailor Venus stared in horror, twitching. "Please...god...no..."

Sailor Mercury was a great deal more composed, but mainly because she was in shock. "..."

Uranus seemed to be the only one even remotely interested in fighting. "It's not that bad."

This proved enough to drag the other eight from their current horrified fantasies of the likely outcome of their next fight to glare at the uber-bishonen. "You DO realize what those things waving around in the air are," Pluto bit out acidly.

"Not to mention the fact that we're teenaged super-heroines wearing really short skirts?" Saturn added.

Uranus lost some of her bravado. Well, actually she kind of turned pale and blushing in turns.

Mars licked her lips nervously, still in horror. "Why did it have to be tentacles?"

Uranus firmed her resolve. "That doesn't matter. It doesn't matter that it's a tentacle demon. Or that we're all young, attractive women in revealing clothing. Or what that thing's likely to do to us. We still have to protect the future of Crystal Tokyo, and having THAT thing in it isn't something I want to put up with."

Pluto glared.

Jupiter spoke up. "Can't we just wait for the Self-Defense force to deal with it?"

"They already tried," Mercury put in helpfully. "Their tanks were ripped apart, and then everyone started running."

Uranus shrugged. "Well, nothing to do but fight." Grabbing Sailor Moon by the back of her fuku, she proceeded to throw her at the thing's feet. "SO GET TO IT PRINCESS!"

In Japan, Sailor Moon's real name is Usagi Tsukino, which loosely translates to mean 'Rabbit of the moon.' Apparently, they have a rabbit instead of the man in the moon. But I digress. The point is that her name seemed unusually appropriate, seeing as she was behaving remarkably like a small rodent in front of the biggest damn predator imaginable. Freezing in shock, anyway.

She knew what tentacle demons did. She'd never actually watched the videos, but she'd heard enough to know. As such, she was currently imagining all kinds of horrible, perverted things being done to her.

Quite literally, the last thing she expected was for the demon to turn to look at her, and sigh in relief as he let the two dozen or so tentacles go limp and drag along the ground. "Christ, it took you guys long enough. I've been sitting here and writhing for," he paused as he checked a wristwatch attached to one of his tentacles, "at least three hours. What kept you?"

Usagi was still sprawled across the ground. That was the only thing keeping her from face-faulting. The rest of the Senshi weren't so lucky.

Mercury pushed herself to her hands. "I'm sorry, what did you just say?"

Now that they weren't paying attention to his tentacles, the nine of them were able to notice a few details that hadn't seemed as important. He didn't really look demonic, if you ignored all the extra apendages. He just looked like a normal guy without a shirt on. He shrugged as the eight slowly drew closer, those with weapons holding them cautiously. "I asked what kept you?"

Venus found her voice. "Uh...you're not going to try and do disturbing things to us with those tentacles, are you?"

He groaned to himself, rubbing his temples. "For the love of god, no. Now will you guys hurry up and moon-dust me, or whatever the hell it is you say when you kill demons?"

Mars gaped. "A suicidal youma?"

"I'm not a youma you jack-ass. What's worse, up until about six hours ago, I was a human being. Then I got a case of unfathomably bad karma, and ended up walking into some store called Spells R Us (1). I bought a magazine that apparently had an article about the sad state of animation when half-octopus otherworldly beings can be considered entertainment. When I walked out of the store, I had all these," he growled, gesturing to the still limp appendages.

Venus groaned. "Wait a second, you used to be a human? But then..."

"Why do I want to die?" He shrugged. "To be honest, I don't. But if it comes to that, somehow I get this feeling that death would be preferable to having to deal with the guilt of doing some of the disturbing things that are running through my head. In all honesty, what I was actually hoping is that meatballs over there would exorcise this damn thing from me or something."

Neptune stared at him warily. "Disturbing things?"

He shrugged, this time seeming to slide deeper into depression. "Apparently, it's not just that these monsters are perverts, its actually wired into them."

Venus shook her head. "That's messed up."

He snorted disdainfully. "You want messed up? Try this. I rode the subway to get the park here, but when I got off without raping anyone, I saw a few of the women on the same car looked disappointed. Not to mention those three creepy looking guys."

"Eeeewwwwwww."

Pluto groaned. It was going to be one of those millennia.

Not finished yet, just an exercise in insanity, really.

Author's Notes: I have no intention whatsoever of continuing this fic. I have no intention of writing something similar to this. And frankly, outside of a cheap laugh, I have no idea what purpose this serves.

Still, it's worth a laugh, isn't it?

Anyway, if I post anything else under this story title, they'll be other weird, generally unconnected things.

(1) - I first read about the Spells R Us store as a side-note in some of Metroanime's stories. Basically, everything they sell there is in some way cursed, mainly in a transformative nature. If you ate girl scout cookies bought from there, you'd shrink and suddenly show up in a skirt and beret; baby ruth made you relive the days before you'd developed bladder and sphincter control...don't even ask what a Whatchamacallit bar would do to you.