So…
I got a whopping like 293487239 reviews! I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH! Let's let history repeat itself, no?
And then I realized that I have nothing to write. Because they're together now and all, so what's the point? But a lot of you didn't… think this should be the end?
And MUCH thanks to Luna for the numerous reviews and for telling friends about the story, and Excuse me Mr. Mister for the HILARIOUS pick up lines and loyal, juicy and my favorite reviews and Flames Of My Heart and everyone else. FerretLover, lil'rook, Vampirehelsing, terry, oO, kels, GothicIcePixie (lol. Marry you? I'm sorry. I'm already taken), European Chicken (NO NEED TO BE SORRY, READER!), RENA (HAHA. I'm glad you almost pissed yourself from laughing. Actually, I'm not. Haha, but thanks anyway.), Aeriol, Elanor Ainu (we'll see about that. Haha, no, just kidding. Thanks, though. Your reviews were too kind), mephitic-mind (I'll marry him too.), Allychik6, AnastriannaRomanov, KepperofthePineNeedles, Ginny-and-Draco-fan, Babychicke (I WOULD NEVER ABANDON ANYTHING! Thanks!), i am not a chipmunk (of course you're not.), j 3, mell8, Chellina (don't worry, I laugh alone in my house a lot as well), louey31, Jenna. And the rest of you, who has been with me and endured my mood swings and extremely lengthy vacations, you know who you are.
So thanks to Katie, I've decided that this will be just like one of those entries where Draco's all freaky and random.
And here, before I write this compelling piece of art…
(From the words of Phantom of the Opera Why so silent)
Why so silent, good Messieurs?
Did you think
that I had left you for good?
Have you missed me, good messieurs?
I have written you a chapter. ( in the movie, it's actually 'i have written you an opera. don juan triumphant..' sigh. what a brilliant movie.)
I should be hanged, though, for how late it is. but...
Why so silent, good Messieurs?
Did you think
that I had left you for good?
Have you missed me, good messieurs?
Haha. Sorry- I JUST got the DVD for Phantom of the Opera, and I can't stop watching it.
And during my extended 'vacation,' I've written another story. And finished it, actually. It's nothing much, though, to have finished it because it was merely a one-shot.
It's called Inspired by your Shoelaces but it's a Draco/Hermion story. You should check it out. It's not the best I have, but really, who gives a care?
one last thing- if you read Roommates, the last chapter of THAT story is almost halfway done too. longer apology would be there. :)
LAST CHAPTER:
OOO
Hello Winifred,
I feel like I've got my life under my belt.
But, the funny thing is, that I don't have a belt.
Nor, do I know what a belt IS.
Nor will I tell you how I found out about the word belt.
OOO
Belt: A flexible band, as of leather or cloth, worn around the waist to support clothing, secure tools or weapons, or serve as decoration.
I like them leather. I think I will ask Ginny for a leather belt.
But to support WHAT clothing? My robes?
HAH… maybe I'll make a fashion statement.
YES!
AND SOON, EVERYONE IN HOGWARTS WILL BE PUTTING A BELT OVER THEIR ROBES.
I MUST ASK FOR A GREEN ONE SO IT STANDS OUT AND BRINGS OUT THE COLOR IN MY EYES.
EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE GREEN EYES. THAT POTTER DOES, THOUGH. MAYBE I'LL SEND HIM A NICE GREEN BELT, BUT NOT LEATHER BECAUSE HE DOESN'T DESERVE LEATHER.
OOO
Fine I admit, I've been reading more and more muggle books and that's where I got the whole "life under my belt" thing.
So happy? Satisfied? Is your life under your belt too? Would you like a belt too?
Well, you're not getting one! HAH!
OWNAGE
OHHH. YOU'VE JUST BEEN OWNEDDDDDDDDD. By the OWNAGE KING. (A/N: here, I was so tempted to write out pwnage but I kept myself. Tehe)
OOO
Today, me and Ginny went shopping for belts.
I got a green one, a white one, a black one, a grey one, and she FORCED me to buy a pink one. Don't worry… I'm thinking about being sneaky and returning it.
YAY! I think my life is now complete.
OOO
Did you hear?
PROFESSOR BINNS AND MOANING MYRTLE ARE NOW… A THING! TRANSPARENT THINGS!
THING AS IN: DATING!
I wonder where they'll go. Maybe the sewers?
OOO
Ah! So my predictions were correct.
So today, I went to visit Trewalney to tell her that I predicted that they'd be together and that I was right.
So she gave me a bag of tea leaves.
Pure pleasure.
OOO
Yes, you are right.
I like tea.
I feel proper and handsome.
OOO
Ginny's dared me to write in you for the entire class time in Potions without getting caught.
Yes, she knows about you.
No, she never read you.
Yet.
Or… did she?
Muahahaha. MUAHAHAHAHA. KYAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHA
I'm being soooo fetch. (from mean girls by the way)
OOO
Minute one
I sit here waiting and waiting. Potter, Weasley, and Granger still haven't come. Neither has Snape.
Minute two
They're here. And I'm bored out of my mind. Snape's rather monotonous voice can get very… very… very… very… drowsy.
Minute three
I have to hide you under the table. How is it? Is there anything under the tables? Gum?
Ah! Winifred! I'm scared! What if I'm caught?
Minute four
I wonder if Snape is a virgin.
Minute five
Why do I always think of those things? I'm such a perv. I should be hanged.
Or hung. I don't know how to say it.
Grammar was never particularly my strong side.
Minute six
Yuck. Whoever he did it with must be blind.
Minute seven
What if Snape is GAY?
DOUBLE YUCK!
Minute eight
No wonder why he favors the boys in the class more than the girls. Except Potter of course. And Weasley. He hates Pansy, for instance. No man in their right minds would hate Pansy…
Except for me.
And like… half the boys in this school.
My conclusion: WE'RE ALL OUT OF OUR MINDS.
Or my predictions about Snape is wrong.
I'm sorry.
I made a mistake; it's predictions about Snape ARE wrong.
See? Grammar is not on my good side today.
Acutally, it was only one prediction, therefore, it's "prediction about Snape is wrong."
Who's your daddy now?
Minute ten
10 minutes has gone and passed for your information
Minute eleven
I'm thinking soon, I might ask him to tell us a story about his first love.
Unless he IS the heartless brute that he lets himself be.
Aw, what a horrible lifestyle! With no lovin'!
Minute thirteen
This number is unlucky. I personally like the number fourteen.
Minute fourteen
I love this number! So I think I'm going to take the courage and ask him. What should I ask?
"Professor, sir? Are you a virgin?"
"Professor, sir? How was your first time?"
"Professor, sir, are you gay?"
"Professor, I was just wondering if you've ever had sex with another man before?"
Minute eighteen
No longer in Potions classroom.
I asked the following:
"Professor, I was wondering, please sir about your first love and if you ever slept with her… or him."
What to do?
I think I will go take a hike.
Minute 24
I am currently at the Black Lake. I've stopped to see these two Robin birds mating.
Again, I am caught in an awkward, cruel, sexual moment.
Minute 27
I'm going back. These birds are getting X-rated.
Minute 31
Now in front of Potions classroom. Shall I knock?
Minute 33
Still in front of Potions classroom
Minute 35
About to knock
Minute 40
Am in Potions classroom once more
Whew.
I got away with telling him that I really didn't mean to say it and that I was possessed, possibly by a nonexistent Dark Lord.
Ginny Weasley, I'm going to kill you.
Minute 42
I'm glad today wasn't a practical day and just a lecture day because he doesn't go around inspecting.
Minute 44
I am definitely going to fail Potions.
Minute 45
FIVE MORE MINUTES! WHOO HOO!
Minute 46
240… 239… 238…
Minute 47
179… 178… 177…176…
Minute 48
117… 116…
Minute 49
60… 59… 58… 57… 56… 55… 54…
WHAT? WHERE IS THE BELL?
Minute 51
I'm going crazy.
Today was a fucking DOUBLE POTIONS
Deja vue? Will it be another History of Magic?
Minute 53
First, the birds…
Now, Blaise and Pansy are at it.
UCK
Minute 56
I haven't had sex in weeks.
Minute 57
Oh my god. I haven't had sex in weeks.
Minute 60
: ) But Ginny's worth it.
Aww… aren't I just sweet.
Minute one
I've become lazy and I'm starting again at one since one hour has gone good bye.
Oh wait, was that the bell?
Oh, never mind. False hopes.
Whooo-
OOO
Ah, Winifred. I haven't seen you in ages.
Hm… let's say 2 months now? Yeah. It even makes ME wonder how I've been living my life.
It's stressful really. I will tell you what happened.
I was just finishing up that entry when bloody Weasley (not Ginny, her brother) came up to me, snatched my diary and started reading.
It was just… SO embarrassing, good thing I took it back a second later. I told him "you wouldn't want to read this. Unless you REALLY want to know how Ginevra and I 'do it' when you're not looking. Or about our time last night in the forest. I have scars to prove to you." I began to lift up my robes when I saw him burst.
No, literally.
He blew up.
He didn't die or anything, he just blew up. Seriously. There were carcasses of Ronald Weasley flying everywhere. Or… is it there 'WAS'? Too many tenses in this language, I tell you.
The weirdest part was the Granger and Potter high-fived. I mean, sure, the Weasley was a prat, but he was their best friend!
And then, 1 out of every three people in the class began exploding. Popping and becoming mist. I thought the "Harry Potter deatheaters" were coming and vanishing all the prats in the school.
And then, Snape came and asked. "Why aren't you exploding, Malfoy?"
I was deeply offended that he was straight out implying my prattiness. So I just gaped. I knew he knew I was a prat and all, but I didn't think he would fully admit it.
But I understood –insert humble and kind look here-
The potion were supposed to brew with two partners was an exploding potion! I had been so into writing in you that I had not noticed everyone getting to work. So I put you on my desk only to remember that Snape was still looming over me. I tried to take you back and put you in my bag but he was too fast. He got me. He stole you, took one look at you- I hope you weren't offended- and walked away clutching you in his hands like a fat boy holds his cake.
So I never got you back and I never tried.
It's terrifying. I didn't know if he ever read anything or not… but I know he probably did. So I never asked for you back, hoping he'd forget.
It didn't really work, but I got you back so it's all good.
I will not go into further details.
OOO
Slytherin house held a late night party last night. I don't know but for some reason, we earned like 50 points for some noble deed. Don't ask.
And then we got drunk so we started clapping for our Quidditch team. Along with many other clubs. But anyways-
Catch this:
"And nooooow. Our FAAAAAAAVORITEE SEEKAH. DRACC MALFIE!" Blaise announced, his tie knotted around his face and his shirt missing. He does have a nice body, not that I was ever checking it out or anything.
And suddenly, a loud voice cried out:
"HEY! IT'S THE GAY SEEKER!"
I now cry myself to sleep.
OOO
I am in the hospital wing now.
OOO
Why? Because I don't want to go to class.
I am a shunned outsider like Tarzan.
-insert loud Tarzan roar here-
OOO
I contemplated going around nude in nothing but a piece of loincloth covering my treasures, if you know what I mean. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink. Wink.
But I never did. Of course. The day is almost over now.
I will soon go back to my room.
But now, I am under the wonderful motherly care of my dear Madame Pomfrey.
May Allah be with you, Madame Pomfrey.
OOO
Ginny came in, panting and all and asked where the hell I was.
I said. I was here the whole time.
And she said. Why?
And I said. Because I am an outsider. Leave me if you must, love, if you are too humiliated to be meddling with an outsider like me.
And she said. Why are you an outsider?
And I said. Because. I am shunned. I am a gay seeker.
And she said. You are NOT!
And I said. Yes I am.
And she said. Oh, but you can't be because you're dating me.
And I said. Oh. Yeahh.
She makes me happy.
And she said. Let's go now. It's dinner.
And I gave my well practiced roar of Tarzan.
Even the real Tarzan would have been beaming with pride.
Or… envy?
OOO
My days with you are ending.
I must part thee soon.
But not yet.
For I went out diary shopping today.
But actually, if I tell you that, you'll be very angry with me. I know you'll be. So I shall tell you the following: I went out to buy you a girlfriend today.
Or, shall I say, boyfriend, Winifred? How you like that? We can call him… Alfred.
Unless you're a lesbian.
THEN DON'T WORRY!
I will not shun you like I was once shunned. I will treasure you always because there is nothing wrong with gay people. So you have no need to become my Tarzan friend.
Unless you WISH to be Tarzan, in that case, I can see your reason why.
It is a freeing sensation when you are going around naked. It feels really nice, you know.
DRACO MALFOY TO THE RESCUE OF ALL GAYS AND LESBIANS! AND TARZAN WANNABE'S.
FEAR NOT! I WILL NEVER SHUN YOU!
IF you want a lesbian friend, I will name her Ginifred, in memory of Ginny. MY girlfriend.
Yup. So don't even think about it, girlfriend.
Be confident.
Be an independent woman.
You will survive.
Halleluja
FEAR NOT, WINIFRED! I SHALL NEVER PART THEE.
OH! THE HILLS ARE ALIVE WITH THE SOUND OF MUSIC!
SO THIS MAY BE
OUR LOVELY
UN-SHUNNING
FAREWELL.
GOODBYE, MY LESBIAN DIARY! GOODBYE, WINIFRED!
Until next time.
Good night
And
Good luck.
OOO
The end. : )
OOO
Yay!
Would you guys like a sequel?
And please, be honest. Don't just say you want one if you really don't and you're just being nice.
And if you do, you must fill out my VERY INTENSE questionnaire.
What should it be called?
What should happen?
How long should it be?
What should it be about?
ANY suggestions?
But, until then,
Good night
And
Good luck
- Youngwriter