Disclaimer
(Just so I won't get sued…)
All related characters and settings found below are strictly based on the TV series Hey Arnold! created by Craig Bartlett as seen on Nickelodeon.
11: Home Free
The flame in Helga's eyes died when she admired her long-time love from very up close. For a fleeting moment she waded in the golden sea of his hair and took a whiff of the wild waters. Gosh, he smells good! Even if he's been on his toes the whole day!
She lowered her gaze to indulge in his countenance. His eyes were closed, and he still had that silly grin on his lips. Her eyes roamed around and found Harold batting his eyelashes at her tauntingly.
Caught in disgrace, Helga tripped Arnold to the ground and yelled at the top of her lungs in the midst of group squeals, "Don't you ever do that again! EVER!"
"Arnold and Helga, sitting in a tree! K-I-S-S—"
More enraged than ever, Helga gritted her teeth, stomped towards Harold, Stinky, Sid, and Curly and—with Arnold and the others watching and all—socked all four guys senseless.
Arnold got up and was about to hold on to his furiously deranged classmate when he overheard Phoebe, Eugene, Sheena, Nadine, and—to some extent—Gerald, giggling. He stopped in his tracks and sighed.
Now I know whose fault it is that Helga's too sensitive with displaying affection, he said to himself. It's our whole class', and somehow, mine.
He rolled up his fist.
"Guys, it's not very nice to poke fun at serious stuff."
All the fourth graders stopped and feasted their eyes on Arnold. Even Helga.
"I know you can't help but laugh and tease when something like that happens 'cause it feels awkward for everyone. But the truth is, laughing and teasing don't help anyone, especially the people you tease and laugh at. Sometimes you ought t' just leave them alone. It's better that way."
He trained his eyes on the girl with the pink bow. "Helga did something I'm so thankful for that I just felt like doing that. Anything wrong with it?"
The fourth graders save Helga shook their heads slowly.
"Then why make us feel bad, as if it's so wrong? That's why Helga wants to just… vent her anger out on you." Arnold referred to the four boys knocked to the ground. "This has been happening our whole lives, and it's not working out anymore. You have to apologize to Helga for hurting her feelings… even if she hurt you back physically. You still started it."
The four boys rubbed their arms gingerly and hung their heads low. "Sorry, Helga."
"Hmph!" Helga chafed her hands together and snubbed them.
"Sorry, Arnold." Added Stinky. "I swear I'll never act funny when you and Helga do somethin' mighty lovey-dovey again."
Everyone's eyes widened. However, Helga's and Arnold's narrowed forebodingly.
Stinky sighed. "Aw, shucks. I reckon I said somethin' wrong again."
Some of the fourth graders were about to speak up when a glossy black stretch limousine drove up right next to them. The chauffeur exited and opened the door for the passengers at the rearmost row of the limo. To the kids' astonishment, who else stepped out the posh automobile—holding the chauffeur's hand and all—and graced the ground than…
"Lila." Spat Helga with disgust.
Succeeding her was the boy who handed a hundred-dollar tip to the driver: Lorenzo.
The fourth graders exchanged whispers as their two classmates waved to them.
"Hey Lorenzo. Hey Lila." Greeted Arnold.
"Hey Arnold," said the two in unison. They traded glances and chuckled.
"You two are getting along well," said Arnold.
"Too well, if you ask me."
"Sid, remember that talk we all just had?" Arnold planted his fists on his hips.
Lila gave all of her classmates the once-over, then clasped her hands beside her heart and sighed. "I'm ever so thankful all of you are all right."
"Oh brother, there goes Little Miss Perfect again," Helga began walking away. "I'm ever so outta here!"
Stinky blushed. "I'll always be all right when you're around, Miss Lila."
Lila smiled at him sweetly. "Gosh! Thanks ever so much, Stinky! I saw the whole thing in the news. All of you were…"
"…Kidnapped!" Lorenzo finished for her. "She was standing in front of Phil's TV when I passed by her in my limo."
"Yes, I was watching television there. Then Lorenzo, quite by chance, found me and offered me a ride here. He too wanted to see all of you."
"So, does that mean you two weren't keeping each other company the whole day?" Asked Sid.
"Why, no Sid." Said Lorenzo. "We were together for only the last ten or fifteen minutes. I didn't check with my watch, my beeper, my cell phone, my laptop, or my organizer. I could if you want me to…"
"Whatever gave you that idea?" Lila batted her eyelashes.
"Oh, nothing."
Arnold sighed. Never trust anything Sid "hears".
"I don't think any of you really want to know this," Lila shuffled her feet daintily. "But I was absent from class today because my father had the flu this morning and I had to take care of him."
The fourth graders murmured their words of admiration for Lila's selfless reason.
"I… I was absent because…" began Lorenzo.
"We all know," Gerald clapped a hand on the rich kid's shoulder. "Your mother told Simmons and he told us."
"Yeah!" said Harold. "I thought you were kidnapped!"
The others concurred.
A sudden "Aha!" erupted from afar. The fourth graders gasped upon spotting Principal Wartz trudging towards them.
"So this is where the fourth grade students of P.S. 118 would like to hold class now, is it?"
Arnold began. "Principal Wartz, I can explain—"
"There is no need for any explanation, young man." Wartz cut in. "I know everything. You were kidnapped, and your classmates left the school and went after you. That makes every single one of you absent this afternoon!" The fourth graders reeled back in bewilderment. "I want all of you to report for remedial class tomorrow! Notify your parents that you will be dismissed tomorrow at five to make up for the time you lost today!"
The students groaned. Behind the principal, their teacher Simmons greeted them with outstretched arms. "Oh, Arnold! Class! Thank goodness no one was hurt!"
He spread out his arms wider, expecting hugs from his traumatized-by-the-kidnapping-experience students. An uncomfortable silence filled the air. The kids merely blinked at him; some even planted their hands on their hips.
Arnold was the first to speak. "Sorry to make you worry, Mr. Simmons."
As the other fourth graders narrated their day's events to their concerned teacher, their parents and siblings arrived at the scene. Soon the demolished warehouse served as venue for the family gathering of the P.S. 118 fourth graders.
Signs of affection went unbridled and wild. Fathers clapped their son's backs. Mothers—especially Harold's—hugged their babies tight. Brothers and sisters, elder and younger, wrung necks and stuck tongues out. Arnold watched the doting sights intently with a wistful gleam in his eye.
Every once in a while he cast glimpses at the members of his own non-traditional family—in, near, and dangling by the crane. Grandma was hanging on to the chain of the wrecking ball, perhaps still playing Jane, while Grandpa bellowed for her to get down. Mr. Hyunh was pulling levers here and there, and the annoyed Ernie was undoing his every move. Through some true benison, none of them were in jail. Thanks to…
Arnold whirled in all directions. He found her standing next to her father, who was on his cellular phone. The man seemed to pay no heed to his daughter.
I guess I could…
He had taken one step towards her when he felt an elfin hand on his shoulder.
"Arnold, is there something wrong? You look ever so bothered."
He carefully peeled Lila's hand off him and gave her a thin smile. "I'm fine, Lila. I just have some… unfinished business."
Wide-eyed (she was not used to Arnold acting in such a manner), she stared at her hand. She wore a cute pouting face. "Oh, now I know what's bothering you. You don't have your hat."
"Yeah. I'll look for it after I take care of something. Thanks, Lila."
Lila blinked at Arnold walking away. "Arnold…?"
Where is she now? Arnold whirled his head in all directions. He could not find her anywhere near Mr. Pataki or elsewhere. He glanced at the Pataki car. What was that pink thing next to the rear left tire…?
Arnold took a peek behind the Lincoln and found Helga kneeling on the muddied ground, clutching something to her chest. "Helga?"
"ARNOLD?" Helga gasped. She stuffed that certain something into her dress, stood up, and snapped, "Don't sneak up on me like that, you… you sneak!"
You're not the only one who called me that today. Arnold sighed. "I guess I wanted to thank you for everything you did today. You answered their phone call, didn't you?"
"So what if I did?" She folded her arms across her chest.
"You even came after me. Thanks, Helga. Thanks a lot." He beamed.
Helga's knees were giving way at the sight of her love's curled lips. "Ah, I figured I had t' come after ya 'cause they got you instead of me. You, mistaken for me, Helga G. Pataki! Ha! What a joke! What a blooper! What a lame setup! What a—"
"It took a lot of guts."
"Yeah, well… your crazy masquerade took just as much guts, Football Head. Hey, we're both alive and kickin' to tell about it, aren't we? Unlike those weaklings who stayed at home, like Li-la. Hmph! She was prob'ly all worried sick for ya, huh?"
Arnold shrugged. "She just told me I don't have my hat."
Your hat! Helga's eyes widened. She recovered Arnold's cap from within her dress and tossed it to him. "Don't get any ideas, Arnuldo. I just kept it warm and cozy for ya 'cause we all know ya need it for your bald spot!"
Arnold caught his cherished cap, dusted it, and fitted it in its rightful place amidst his spiked hair. "Thanks again, Helga!" He gazed atop his head with a toothy grin. "You really look out for me."
"Yuck! I do not look out for football heads!" Helga made a face and jostled Arnold to the side. "Now step aside, Arnuldo, you're crowding me!"
She plodded away, sighing in clandestine delight. "Ohh…"
I guess she had a really tiring day. Arnold followed his pink-bowed classmate with his eyes. From the distance he saw Principal Wartz dragging Curly by the collar and heard the boy's, "Don't send me to detention! I didn't break your precious door, they did!"
Engrossed in her euphoria, Helga collapsed onto the back of a trashcan. She retrieved her Arnold locket and held it in her arms.
From within the trash bin resounded wheezy breathing. The lid slowly rose, revealing Brainy beneath it. And by force of bad habit, Helga's Old Betsy socked the poor heavy-breathing stalker.
Arnold gawked at thin air, absorbed in fantasy. His own parents rushing to his safety, his grandparents actually saving the day, his classmates rescuing him, he and his fellow hostages freeing themselves, his kidnappers, Helga…
"Hey Arnold! Wake up!"
"Huh?" Stammered Arnold. He blinked and found Gerald's hand over his face.
"Time to go home, man. What a day!"
Arnold and Gerald clapped each other on the back and headed towards their families together.
"Sure is, Gerald. But I can't help feeling we forgot something…"
Rhonda was still bound to a chair toppled to the ground in the custodian's closet of P.S. 118. She heard a shrill squeak from the hall. Beads of sweat broke from her forehead.
"Arnold, is that you? Did Curly get you too?"
Several successive squeaks drew louder… closer.
"Arnold, get me out of this place!" Rhonda budged her tied legs, to no avail.
The squeak now sounded as if coming from alongside her. Her ankle was getting awfully itchy…
"Arnold? Let me out of here this instant! Arnold! HEY ARNOLD!"
End
Oh goodie! We all got this far. XD
Really, I gave my best shot to capture the distinct personalities of all the HA! characters through their behavior and oddball expressions (i.e., Stinky's "Willikers!"). Whether or not you stand satisfied, I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I did writing it… I think. Yeah, I did.
Did you skip reviewing a previous chapter? If so, you're about to Submit a Review for the WRONG one! Don't worry, this is the last one, and it will stay right here… Just come back for this, all rightie? Thankies.
Apologia
This is by way of an apology to another author for my posting this fanfic. In spite of the resemblance of our fics (I was told that your HA! fic, which already existed before I put mine up, bears the same title as mine excluding the "!" and also presents Rhonda as a victim of abduction), I sincerely insist that I created this fic to entertain myself—yes, just myself—and not to replicate or distort yours. Once more, my regrets.