Sun was shining in my room as I opened my eyes, making everything seem to glow with life. I shut them quickly before opening them again adjusting to the light. Sliding out of my bed I made my way groggily to the bathroom to take a shower. As I stepped down I felt the chill of the morning air on my body, goosebumps all over me. I hopped into the shower and let the hot water fall over me. Picking up my razor I shaved my legs, and my underarms before I washed my hair.
Stepping out of the shower I grabbed a towel and ran to my room, hating the chill that seemed to follow me. Reaching my room I shut my door, and wrapped my towel around my head. I slipped on my undergarments and headed for the closet to grab my green sailor fuku for school. Making sure my outfit was ok, I took the towel off my head and brushed my hair before placing it into a pony tail at the top of my head. Glancing in my mirror I concluded my self presentable and ran down the stairs to get some breakfast.
"Morning Kagome."
"Morning mom."
"You want some breakfast I suppose?"
"Well yeah..."
I am doll eyes, doll mouth, doll legs I am doll arms, big veins, dog bait
My mom turned with a sigh before placing a bowl of cereal in front of me. She never really made any food, not any more at least. My dad had died 3 years ago and ever since my mom had been depressed, not really caring what happened anymore.
"You going to hang with your friends after school?"
"I don't know maybe..."
"Just don't steal anything if you do, and be back by ten at least. I don't want to have to come look for you."
"Its not like you would."
"Kagome." my mom's voice had a warning tone to it, and I placed my bowl in the sink. I turned to her and smiled before waving goodbye and running out the door, almost forgetting my backpack. I always did stupid stuff like that, she would just make me angry so I would say what I thought often causing arguments between us, my little brother Souta mostly ignored it, remaining quiet or just playing his video games.
Shaking my head I took in a breath of fresh air and walked briskly down the street. I could hear my friends voices not very far ahead of me and I slowed down a bit just wanting to enjoy being alone for another five minutes. But of course one of them spotted me and they all ran over, each smiling stupidly at me talking to me about some guy named Homo...I smiled and laughed when they did, cringing inwardly at the three girls that were my friends. Don't get me wrong they were ok, but they didn't really know me, all they liked to talk about was clothes or some random hot guy.
Same routine everyday, but not really. And the reason I say that is because this was the first day I really noticed him. Nakamura, InuYasha. Sure I had seen him before, but today I had really noticed him, like actually paid attention to what he was doing. And even though it wasn't the most interesting thing in the world it caught my eye. He was just sitting there under a tree scowling at the world , smoking a cigarette. He caught my gaze for a moment before raising an eyebrow as to inquire what I was staring at. My face turned red and I looked away from him quickly, pretending to be really interested in what Eri was talking about.
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do
Yuka poked me in the ribs and asked me what that was about, and I shook my head dismissing her question by saying it was nothing. She frowned and started to lecture me about the boy sitting under the tree.
"Higurashi Kagome, why were you staring at InuYasha like that! Do you know what kind of person he is? Look at him. You can tell hes no good. He does drugs, cuts classes even cuts himself!"
"Geez Yuka I was just looking at since when do you know all this about a person you've never even talked to?"
"Listen Kagome, hes a goth you can tell, and Goth people do that. And also I've seen his arms before, trust me they're no pretty sight."
"Yuka! You know you can be a bitch at times!"
Our other two friends were staring at us dumb founded, as Yuka and I glared at each other. The morning bell rang signaling us to come in and Yuka sighed, shaking her head in disappointment. "Kagome you know that hurts. I was just telling you not to get involved with a guy like him. I know that look in your eyes, hes no good... trust me."
My friends walked inside ahead of me, squabbling something about how stupid I could be at times. I hung my head low and wondered why I even tried sometimes. I was almost the last one in the school, key word there: almost. And while I was looking at my feet trying to not look at him, some guy ahead of me stopped suddenly before running off, making me fall forwards. That it being I would have fallen if he hadn't caught me. His hand was gripped around my upper arm my knees barely above the ground. I looked up at him sheepishly and felt a shiver run through my body at his intense golden gaze. He narrowed his eyes at me before speaking.
"You should really watch where you going. Otherwise your going to end up breaking your nose." his voice was gruff and had a certain edge to it that I liked. I stood up muttering a thanks while brushing myself off. He walked in ahead of me not looking back, saying something under his breath.
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, and I do too
The rest of the day went pretty normal until lunch period, I had seen him again, and wanted to thank him properly for helping me that morning. So after I was done eating my lunch I walked over to him earning a few glances from people but not much else. He didn't seem to notice me when I got there so I sat down. He looked up at me glaring before asking what I wanted.
"I just wanted to say thanks for earlier."
"Yeah well you did so you can go now."
"Maybe I don't want to."
"Well I want you to, so leave."
"You can't possibly like being alone all the time."
"I don't get lonely."
"Not even a little?"
"No."
"Oh... ok then I'll leave you alone sorry for disturbing you."
I walked away a little hurt but I still wanted to try. Sitting back down at my table I was slapped hard on my arm and found Yuka glaring at me.
"What the hell was that for?"
"You know what that was for! Why did you go over there! Thats not even the worst, you sat down with him."
I want to be the girl with the most cake I love him so much it just turns to hate
"So! I was saying thank you because this morning I was going to fall but he helped me out."
"Look at him Kagome, hes staring at us right now probably wanting to rape you or something."
"The only reason hes staring is because you're talking about him. VERY LOUDLY!"
I didn't want to hear anymore so I got up and walked out glancing at him out of the corner of my eyes. He looked at me confused before shifting his gaze to my friends. I saw his eyes flash before I walked out the door, and wondered if he were hurt by Yuka's words.
Lunch period had ended and yet I was still outside wondering around the school grounds. The world seemed to be silent aside from the chirping birds and swaying leaves. and I guess I just wanted to enjoy it.
I don't know what was wrong with me but lately I've been so far away... not connected with anyone or thing. My friends didn't seem to notice the difference and if they did, they didn't care. I usually covered it up pretty well, today something was different though. I was sick of smiling.
Seeing his face, letting everyone know through his expression of how he felt. How he didn't look like he cared for anyone, or had anyone to care for him. I just wanted to be with him, I don't know why. Something was calling me to him, making me let the real me out, slowly. It was making me mad though, I didn't want to lose what little I had. I didn't even know the guy, I just really noticed him today and I was already going goo goo over him. Shaking my head I ran into the school, and stopped to a halt before my locker, maybe going to class would help me get my mind off everything.
I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
"Ms.Higurashi how nice of you to join us. Why don't you take a seat and explain to me where you were after class hmm?" I sighed and sat down in the back unknowingly only a row away from him.
"Hey you girl!" the voice that spoke to me was hushed but loud in a very strange way. I turned to see who was talking to me and almost groaned.
"I have a name you know."
"Keh whatever. Where were you."
"What does it matter to you?"
"It doesn't."
"Then why ask?"
That silenced him and I turned around to face the front remaining silent the rest of the class.
And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache
Walking home that day I found myself completely, and utterly alone. Its was nice in a strange way, I didn't have to smile, didn't have to laugh. I didn't have to pretend. I knew that I'd have to apologize to my friends tomorrow, ask them to forgive me for being such a twit, so then I could just go back to my normal routine. But right now I just kept that in the back of my mind enjoying what little alone time I had.
I heard laughing as I passed the park, and inside the laughing I heard the innocence, and carelessness of being a child. It brought a slight smile to my face, and I walked with my head a little higher then usual. I knew that I was fake, that I wore a mask to hide my feelings, my pain but it didn't matter at that moment. Because other people were happy, people who deserved it.
Was InuYasha happy?
No he wasn't happy you could tell...but then again why did I care? I've never noticed him before...and today I've learned that he is a complete ass. But still...his eyes...
I came to my house, sighing as I stepped inside. My mother was reading a book in her chair while my brother was in the back yard, jumping around pretending to fight a warrior. Maybe he'd let me play too? Just to pretend with him that we had a normal family, and not a care in the world.
Stepping through the back door I looked at him and gave a small smile as he waved. I ran over to him at we started to have a sword fight with each other using some sticks we found. I knew I was 16, a little too old to play such childish games with my 10 year old brother, but it felt good knowing he would still allow me to get close to him after all these years of pushing him away.
And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache
It was hours after Souta and I came inside and I knew I should be sleeping. I had a math test tomorrow and I needed all the rest I could get, something was bothering me though. Groaning I got out of bed and walked over to my desk picking up my brown Sublime hoodie, and slipping it over my head.
I quietly crept downstairs, being careful to not trip in the darkness. I came to a stop at my front door and pulled on my Vans, taking a look in the kitchen at the microwave, the time reading that it was currently 1:30 a.m. Shaking my head a little I stepped outside and swept my long wavy black hair up into a ponytail, and walked down the street.
I don't know how long I walked before I came to the park that I had heard the laughing at before, I didn't really care either. I just kind of found myself sitting there, slightly swinging on a swing. I closed my eyes trying to drown myself in the serenity of the small playground letting the nights cool breeze run across my face.
Why couldn't everything be like this? Why couldn't everything just be nice and calm all the time? Where you don't have to be happy, or sad...you just have to be...
Laughing at myself for such stupid thoughts I got off the swing and kicked at the sand beneath me, watching it all as it flew everywhere. I screamed as I got down into a crouching position, not noticing the angry tears that came down my face.
"Why does everything have to be like this? Why am I always so sad?" I was whispering that over, and over again to myself while rocking back and forth. I heard footsteps though and that made me stop all of my ranting. They grew louder as the person came closer before they came to a stop.
I looked up at that moment, with my Grey eyes red, my face gleaming from the tears. And I saw him. Standing there with his platinum blond hair, and impossibly golden eyes staring at me, judging me as though I were a piece of low grade meat. I stood up slowly meeting his gaze and I wiped my eyes. Smiling sourly I turned from him and left. So what if he saw me? Its not like he would tell...its not like anyone would listen either...because he was the outcast, and I was hideously fake.
I am doll parts, bad skin, doll heart It stands for knife For the rest of my life
A week had passed and things were normal, I made up with my 'friends', and ignored InuYasha's intense amber stares, though sometimes I would glance at him as I walked past, making sure no one saw me. Yes I know, how wrong of me. I was scared though, scared that if anybody saw me look at him, that I would be thrown aside too. And I didn't want that. I just wanted to be normal, even if I was sad.
"Hey Kagome..."
"Yes Eri?"
"Whats wrong? You haven't been yourself lately."
'If you could only understand...'
"I'm perfectly fine. Just a little worried about that math test we took last week. We're supposed to be getting the results back tomorrow."
"Oh, is that all? You shouldn't stress yourself out over it! I'm sure you did fine!" She gave me a smile and patted me on the back before walking away from me to her happy home.
I sighed and leaned against an old oak tree behind me, enjoying the shade it provided from the penetrating sun. I looked up as I heard some rustling in the leaves above me, and screamed.
"Oi wench you don't have to scream so fucking loud!"
"What in the HELL are you doing sitting in a tree?" I shrieked at the amber eyed Tarzan.
"I was thinking." he replied as he jumped down and landed in front of me, staring deeply into my eyes.
I stepped back a little, scared of him, and scared of what would happen if anybody saw us.
"Don't worry...no one is gonna see ya." his words were like venom, as were his eyes, both of them hiding the slight hurt I had caused I was sure.
"What do you want?" I spat at him, just wanting to get away.
Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, they really do Yeah, they really want you, they really want you, but I do too
He laughed at me harshly, shaking his head as he backed away. He mock bowed before me, before looking at me through his bangs. "You can't hide forever. They'll figure you out soon."
"No they won't. Not unless you tell them." I looked at him trying to see any sign of sympathy in his face, I came up with none.
"Like they would fucking listen to me anyway wench."
"I TOLD YOU MY NAMES KAGOME!"
"I KNOW STUPID! But would you really want people knowing?"
He walked away from me then. And I ran away from the tree in front of our wonderful school, thinking of my recent confrontation.
What the hell did he want in the first place? Was he really that messed up that he went up to people for no reason and just started harassing them? He was staring in my eyes though. Reading them, looking for my weakness. I ran harder panting just trying to forget everything for that one moment. To forget him, forget my friends, forget my mom, and to forget the reason I was the way I was. Though I had said before, even asked myself why I was sad I knew. Somewhere deep inside I knew, and it always made me shudder.
I stopped running as I came to my house trying to calm myself down before I entered. I opened the door slowly and made my way quietly to my room.
Shutting my door and locking it, I looked in the mirror by my dresser and screamed at what I saw. It wasn't a scream of fear, it was a scream of anger, frustration, sadness. I sat in a pitiful heap on my floor as I sobbed, blocking out my mother pounding on my door demanding that I open it up.
He was right... I couldn't hide forever, it showed in my eyes.
I want to be the girl with the most cake He only loves those things because he loves to see them break I fake it so real, I am beyond fake
I was sick of being a doll. I was sick of being what I was, not what I am. I was scared too though...I didn't want to be all alone... I didn't want to hurt alone.
And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache And someday, you will ache like I ache Someday, you will ache like I ache
Ok so that was the first chapter, if you could tell me what you think like if it sucks or not I would be very thankful.
So review please! And also I'm not going to make them be friends right away, or have them get together right off the bat.
Then it really leaves no story to tell. Alrighty then thanks for reading! And yes everyone in this fic is human.
Disclaimer: I do not own InuYasha, nor do I own Doll Parts by: Hole
Signed IdiotGirl22