Disclaimer- I do not own Animal Crossing. This is a depressing, but very true fact. Now that that's out of the way… Enough with the disclaimer! Let's proceed!
It was a dark and stormy night when I sailed into the far-off port town of Fitzton. I hopped off my three-masted schooner, skull-and-crossbones flying from the mainmast, and... What? What do you mean, I'm not a pirate? Did you just say that I'm making all this up? The nerve of some people... Fine. You're right. Have it your way, then.
The name's Gulliver, by the way. Captain Gulliver, as a matter of fact. I'm here to tell you my story. No, not the one about the giant squid attacking the ship (although that may come into play later...), but the story of my life as the bravest, fearless-est, and, naturally, handsomest captain ever to set sail anywhere in the world. There'll be action in this tale, there'll be adventure, there'll be danger, and there'll be water. Lots of water. So what are we waiting for? A captain's nothing without his loyal (if not quite as brave, fearless, and handsome) crew and a trusty ship, so I'll start off there. Tallyho!
I had been walking for days through the grueling, barren hills on the way to Fitzton, a town far, far from here. One might ask why I was risking my life through this landscape, and while I'd love to tell you it was because I was scouring the countryside in an effort to destroy the deadly roadside bandits and highwaymen, that just wouldn't be true. I was shopping for a garden gnome for my cousin Enid's birthday, and the Nook-'N-Go in Fitzton was the only place with them in stock. Cursed limited supply stock back home in Meatloaf, really gets on my nerves...
But where was I? Ah, yes. The stupid Nook-N'-Go was out of gnomes, so after I dashed off a quick card and enclosed a few thousand bells (so she could go buy her own gnome...), I figured I'd have a look around. After all, a Meatloafer such as myself doesn't get out to Fitzton every day of the week... This Fitzton was the pinnacle of animal civilization. Their museum was full, the police station hi-tech, the Nook-'N-Go high-stocked (for the most part...), and the lost-and-found was always cleaned out. Ah, bliss... But, nice as this all was, there was only one part of Fitzton that I was interested in at present, and that was acre F-5, the location of the dock, and, more importantly, the annual Fitzton RV-and-boat show, made possible by a generous grant from the Able Sister's tailor shop. Now, a brave and gallant sailor such as myself has no particular use for an RV, but a boat... now that would be nice to have.
So, off to Acre F-5 I went. I headed straight on down to the waterline, where ten or fifteen boats were tied to the tiny little dock. It was quite a squeeze, but somehow they all fit. I began absently skimming through the boats, not really paying much attention to what I was seeing. I really am not much of an intensive shopper. I just waited for something that caught my eye, and I didn't really expect to find anything. But then, all of a sudden, there she was. The perfect ship. A one-masted schooner, and a real beauty, in my own humble (though usually correct) opinion. It was love at first sight. At least on my part, anyway. I didn't expect that the ship was having any such feelings.
"How much is she?" I asked the salesman, an aged sea turtle with a slight limp in his left leg.
"Ah, ye likes this 'un, does ye? A fine choice, mate, fine choice. I should be chargin' more, but since I likes ye, I'll give it to ye for 10,500 bells. It's a real bargain, there, sir." the turtle said, in a harsh, almost pirate-esque accent.
"10,500 bells? Why, any ship's not worth half that! I'll give you 7,000 bells, or will we have to duel over it, you scurvy dog?" I demanded.
"Very well, mate, no need ter be takin' offense. 7,000 it is, then. Ye can pay now, if ye'd like..." he added pointedly.
"Hold onto your shell, vagrant!" I cried, reaching into my pocket and pulling out a bag with the aforementioned amount enclosed.
"Thankee, sir." the turtle said, pocketing the money. "She's not got a name as yet, so if ye'd like ter, feel free."
"Hmmm..." I pondered... er, ponderously. A matter of this importance must be considered with great care and deliberation, or at least something that resembled great care and deliberation. It was paramount that the name be short, sweet, and to the point, but it must also instill fear and respect into the hearts of other sailors. After a few moments contemplation, I hit upon the perfect name. "Henceforth she shall be called the Crusty Barnacle!"
I heard the turtle give a poorly disguised snort to my left. "What, do you have a problem with that, sir?"
"Oh no, sir, not 'tall" the turtle amended quickly. "Actually," he added, "I had a bit of a proposition for ye's. Ye see, sellin' boats and t'like really ain't what I'm cut out to do. I'm really a sailor, and if ye's buyin' this here... er, Crusty Barnacle, I was wonderin' if I could, I dunno, join yer crew or summat. I'd be much obliged."
I stared. "Join my crew? I hadn't really thought about a crew, but now that you mention it ... you'll do. Welcome aboard the Crusty Barnacle, sailor! What's your name?"
"Kapp'n."
"What? But I'm the captain!"
"No, Captain, it's me name."
"Oh. Right. Well, one thing must be made clear, sailor. I am the captain aboard this vessel!"
"Aye aye, Captain."
"Excellent. Now that that's settled... er... how may more crew members would you say we'd need?"
"Ah, I'd say just one more'd do us fine, Cap'n." Kapp'n said.
"Of course! I was just testing you, sailor! Just a little fun on my part! Ho ho!" I laughed merrily, trying to play it off. "Well, no doubt you've been here in Fitzton longer than I have. Do you have any recommendations?"
Kapp'n rubbed his chin in a pondering way. "Hm..." I thought, "that looks awesome! I should definitely start doing that!" Then I realized that my huge beak might hinder said activity, so I discarded the idea.
"I'd have ter say tha' guy, right there, Cap'n." Kapp'n said, pointing. I followed his finger and ended up looking at a 300-pound-plus blue walrus, holding rolls of wallpaper.
"What, the chubby blue guy?" I asked.
"No! Tha' guy!"
I looked again, and this time I saw a bucktoothed beaver, wearing a ridiculous little hat and grinning like a fool as he held a bass that had to be at least 30 inches. He looked a little slow, if you know what I mean, but then most beavers do, I suppose. Normally, I would have protested a bit, but Kapp'n obviously knew what he was doing.
"You there! Beaver!" I yelled. The beaver waddled over, still clutching his bass. "How would you like to join the crew of the Crusty Barnacle, under my command?" I asked, not being one for wasting words.
"Gee, that'd be great, mister! Nyuck nyuck nyuck nyuck!" he laughed.
"All right then, welcome aboard. But one thing must be made clear, Mr... er..."
"Chip, captain. Nyuck nyuck ny..."
"Mr. Chip," I interrupted quickly before he could keep laughing. "You're going to have to stop doing that!"
"Aye aye, captain!"
I sighed in relief upon not having to hear his laugh again. "Okay, men, board ship!"
My men did so. I hopped aboard my ship, hauled in the anchor, and jumped to the top of the mast. The ship began to move out from the Fitzton jetty. Out adventures were about to begin!