Disclaimer: I don't own Samurai Champloo or any of the characters. This work of fiction is my own creation.

Chapter 1: Sharing the Stars

AN: I am making some minor and major changes to the story so I am just making some updates. I am trying to develop better writing skills so I want some new reviews. R&R.

"Fuu-chan," a strained voice called from behind my door. "Are you not tired? You should have come home and gone straight to sleep."

I heard the monk slide my door open. The flame from his lantern flickered, illuminating my room with its quick flashes of light dancing along the walls. I looked up through blood shot eyes, untangling the tousled hair hanging loosely about my shoulders. His body slumped over the crooked stick he used for leverage as he walked around the temple. The normal black yukata he wore looked as if it were swallowing up his now thin body. Wrinkles had gathered at the corners of his mouth and deep folds along his forehead. Dark patches of skin surrounded his sunken eyes making him look much older than his actual age. His once tanned skin had become pale and ashen. Yet in all this, he still looked happy through the pain his body endured. It hurt me just looking at him. His sickness had such a horrible affect on his body so quickly. Even through this, there he stood, worried for my health and well-being. I should have been the one checking in on him this late at night. But nonetheless, here he was at midnight checking in on me. Although my heart ached for my father figure, I could still muster a warm smile, knowing my exhaustion shined through.

"No, I am fine. But you should rest and give your body time to heal itself," I replied, sounding a little more irritated than I'd intended.

I stood and put my arm around the monk, my hand cringing at how thin and frail his shoulders were beneath my grasp. It was so odd having him this way after seeing him so strong when we first met. It had been a little less than 3 years ago when I had met the former sensei turned monk on the street collecting alms. It still made me laugh at how quickly he allowed Mugen, Jin, and I to stay in his temple, in return for work as our payment for the food and shelter.

I had returned to the temple shortly after separating from Mugen and Jin. It just seemed like the most sensible place to go. He was in need of workers and I was in need of a job and shelter, yet again. I had thought of returning to my hometown but much had changed there as well as within me. My only visit was one to pay homage to my mother's grave and then quickly I returned to my new home, the temple.

Working for the monk was simple enough. Cooking and cleaning was not a difficult task at all. But also it was delightful to hear the monk talk of his past. At first I found it aggravating to be disturbed with a tale of this or that, but little by little I became enthralled with his stories. I found myself sitting longer at the dining table, awaiting him to tell a story of his life. He had lived an eventful existence indeed. Over the course of time, I found myself opening up to him. Sharing thoughts and emotions I never thought I had. Deep feelings, some even involving love I'd tried to hide from myself. Without warning, more than just an employer-employee relationship had blossomed. The monk had become a surrogate father to me, and I his daughter. He spoke of a time before he began his teachings as a sensei when he had lost a daughter to death and son to the military. The only time he felt the pain subside was while teaching in his dojo. But with the loss of Shoryuu to his own madness, it seemed as if he had once again failed at being a father.

I lead him back towards his room, sliding the door open wide enough for the two of us to enter at the same time. I helped him as he slowly sank to the futon, bones creaking and cracking along the way. He lay with his eyes closed and a slight wheeze escaped through his lips. I pulled the thin bedding sheet up to his chest and rested on my knees as his body relaxed into a comfortable position.

"You clean up here at home all day, work all night at the restaurant, and then you take such good care of me. I do not deserve all of your time. You do realize you do not have any obligation to take care of me, ne? You are still a young woman. You should be out living your life, finding your love."

Truly, I wanted nothing more than to find love and be loved by someone. But the "someone" was the difficult part. I was the idiot who had fallen in love with two men. Two men I had not seen in who knows how long, nor did I know their true feelings towards me. Since I could not make up my mind I knew it was better if I just stayed in one place. Besides, I needed to stay here. This was where I was required the most.

"I know, but you are the only person I have and love now. I don't want to lose you. I have lost everyone in my life. Plus you are the only father I know." I replied feeling the sadness well up inside of my heart as heavy as stone.

The monk's eyes opened and he looked up at me. I knew he had seen the lone tear move down my cheek.

"Please do not shed any tears for me Fuu-chan. I am not going anywhere yet. As for love, it will come to you and then you will make the right decision. Now you go rest. I will be fine here alone." He patted me on the knee and closed his eyes once again.

I stood slowly, bowing at the door and then slid it back behind myself. I could hear my slippers scuff noisily across the floor but I was unable to lift me feet higher than the few millimeters it took just to move my legs forward. The weariness of work and seeing this sweet man in his sickly condition alone made it difficult just to move my limbs. It was terrible to witness him in such pain. I tried to push back the thought resonating throughout my mind; 'yet another person would be out of my life forever.'

Entering my room I resumed my spot kneeling again at my futon preparing for bed. My comb snapped through the few remaining strains of tangled hair. A wave of sorrow moved over me as it had so many times before. I reached under my pillow, pulling out the old and ratty journal I had carried for so long now. Many of the pages were ripped out, not due to age, but due to my inability to continue carrying the memories with me any longer.

Journal,

I do not want to lose another person in my life. I have lost many and I do not think I can deal with losing my Monk. He has become my father in these short years. To go from no one to some one so quickly has been a dream come true. But I see this was a dream never meant to be. I guess shortly I will be alone once again. These are the days I wish I still had my companions. My bodyguards. I knew I would miss them but not this much. It wasn't meant for me to have them either. Maybe I am to spend my whole life alone. No matter how many pages I rip from this book, I will never be able to rip them away from my mind or my heart. If there was a way to put them out of my mind I wish I could find it. It is just too hard to carry on memories like this.

I placed the journal down and lay on the futon staring out the small window. The moon and stars shined so sweetly outside of my bedroom, burning brightly as if in competition with the sun itself. Once again I thought somewhere Mugen and Jin could see the moon and at least we still shared the night sky.

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"What is this? I'm a paying customer! You can't just throw me out of there!"

I lay flat on my back watching the mama of the brothel I'd attempted to enjoy for the night, push through her bodyguards to hover over my face. "Yes sir, I know you are paying, but the money you have is not nearly enough for my girls." Her voice hissed as it echoed though my head. "You should have known before you came in. It isn't as if you are not here often enough to remember, Mugan-san. You come back here when you have what they are worth. Good night, sir."

She flipped around on her heels, stomping back inside of the brothel. Her goons stared back at me making sure I would not make any quick moves to force myself back in. I guess I had become a little predictable over the years. The doors shut in my face and I sat there feeling sleepy and extremely drunk. Normally I would have jumped up and kicked ass, but I knew I was much too buzzed to even try tonight. Guess I had picked up some wisdom, maybe even becoming the samurai Jin spoke of so often. But I highly doubted it. I'd save myself the fight and just go home. They weren't worth it anyway.

'At least I had gotten my full share of sake,' I thought looking around at the busy walkways before I left for home. I knew I had probably sucked the whole place dry or at least gotten damn close to it; which was the mama's real reason for kicking me out. I always took more than my share of sake when I visited. If they didn't want me to drink it, then they shouldn't have made it so good.

I stood, scratching the back of my head and stretching my neck free of the kinks I'd gotten from laying my head on a girl's lap inside. I could still feel her soft brown hair and see her large brown eyes staring down at me as I sipped the sake she held to my lips. Even her voice seemed to linger in my ears. A melodious pitch that sang each word a she spoke. Everything seemed to remind me of someone. Someone not so far away.

'I suppose I could spend a night in my own bed for once,' I thought, forcing my thoughts to change.

Actually, I wasn't even sure if I had a futon at home. It didn't matter though, as tired as I felt, the floor would be just as good. It was likely I would even pass out on the ground before making it home. It wasn't like it hadn't happened before.

Kansai was a nice place to live. Steady work, probably nobody tougher than me so not many sword fights (unless I started them). And of course a great red light district. Man, it was a wonder I even had any money. Come to think of it, I rarely did. You would think it was great, but some thing was still missing. More like someone.

After Fuu, Jin, and I split, I found my way back here. It was fun from what I remembered and I figured I might run into the Yatsuha Jinpachi woman I met the first time I was here. She never did do the "special thing" she kept telling me about. Thinking of her body and remembering how she slashed up those guys while we were together really made me…interested to say the least. I found out from some people she was still working with the little guy she was with and she had yet to finish her own work. Even found out she had a crush on me. It's hard being the attractive man I am. Only thing is, she figured I would be her husband. Don't know about much, but I would definitely find out about her "special thing." For now there are plenty of other girls here. Just got to get up enough money to get one.

Other than the odd jobs I grabbed since I'd come back here, I still made money from kabuto sumo (beetle wrestling). Lots of people are into it here, but I didn't really care. Just as long as my beetle kicked ass and I got paid off of it. I don't know what happened to my first one but once I returned I got two more and both were huge. With these babies, I couldn't lose even if I tried.

I finally reached my place, which was just outside of Kansai. Nothing big, just a place to lay my head and keep me out of the rain. I couldn't cook so there was no need of space for a kitchen. I rented the ratty shack from Yoji, one of the brothel bosses in the red light district. It was easy to figure out how I acquired my living accommodations. The first night I got to Kansai I visited his brothel. The next morning I heard some idiot getting aggressive with one of his girls and I handled it. Afterward, Yoji asked me to fill in for one of his guys since he was short of help for the coming night. I had nothing else to do and he became one of the people I worked for regularly. I chopped wood, fished and what ever else I needed to do to get by and stay put. I guess after doing so much traveling around I just needed to sit for a while. Plus I heard it makes it a little easier for somebody to find you if you aren't moving everyday and they actually come looking for you.

Attached to my front door was a little note, blowing slightly from the night's breeze.

'What in the hell?' I thought looking over the symbols and becoming frustrated immediately. Just another notice from Yoji saying he'd come by for payment tomorrow. At least I'd gotten thrown out with enough to pay him. So something good came out of this day after all.

My house was always empty and quiet, besides the scratching of my beetles in their cages. It was a big change even almost 3 years after living with Jin and Fuu. Well mostly Fuu, she was the one who did most of the talking. Jin was quiet more often than not, which really ticked me off. But these days I really wouldn't have mind if Fuu was bugging me about something or if Jin was replying about some quality of a samurai I didn't possess. I hadn't spoken to them in so long. I thought I might have at least heard something from Fuu or even bumped into Jin since he jumped from place to place about as much as I did. I knew I could have visited Fuu. I was more than aware of where she was but I didn't think I could go there without Jin. She may not have wanted to be alone with just me. Anyway, I wasn't going to risk it.

I fell down on the old futon surprised I even had one. I could see the stars out as any other night. It was different seeing them alone, though. They didn't look as they did when we were all together. Maybe it was time we saw them together again.

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"Jin-san. You are always out here practicing. You are the best man I have in the Kawara Clan and yet you practice as if you are at the bottom of the rung."

I looked over to see my young employer, Sousuke, standing at the stairs leading out to the garden in the back of his quarters. It was hard to believe but this young man, probably no more than 13 or 14 years old was the head of the Kawara Clan. The circumstances in which he took the position were less than wanted. Sousuke's father, Heitarou had nobly died to save his son's life from Nagatomi, a shameless thug creating nothing but havoc once he entered into Heitarou's life.

"I am not in the Kawara Clan, Sousuke-chan, but merely your bodyguard." I replied continuing with my practice.

"Yes, I do remember." He said sitting down on the stairs watching me as I continue to execute each move precisely. I knew Sousuke wanted me to teach him, but I had no desire to become a sensei. Not out of doubt for my abilities but out of respect for my own sensei.

"It is quite dark Jin-san. Are you going into town soon like the other men?"

"No. They are going to the brothel and I have no interest there."

I continued, focusing on the swinging of my sword and the movements of my arms and legs. In order to train the mind, one must also train the body.

"You act as if you have no need for female companionship. I do remember seeing you with a young woman at one time. A beautiful young woman, if I am not mistaken. Perhaps, she or someone else fill your thoughts on nights such as this. Or is it you love the sword only?" he asked.

Sousuke did not know how close he was to the truth. At times I wondered how he had gained such wisdom without his father as a guide. But I still felt he was too inquisitive for his age. If he were to be a great leader of the Kawara as his father, he had much to learn.

"Love has a time and a place, Sousuke-chan. This is neither."

"I have love Jin-san. But I do not believe she will ever see me as such."

This caught my attention. I knew of the woman Sousuke acknowledged. It was all but obvious he was in love with Osuzu.

"Then perhaps it is Osuzu-san you should have this conversation with."

Sousuke gasped, thinking his love was a secret to all. He began fumbling with the edges of his gi. His cheeks blushed with a light shade of pink noticeable by the light of the stars and the moon up above. I had come to this conclusion after my first encounter with the young man. At the time he was planning to free Osuzu from the brothel she was forced to work in for payment of her father's debts. Unfortunately, Osuzu was a bit older than Sousuke and did still view him as a child, no matter his title or position.

"I do not understand her," he continued, gathering his thoughts. "I am older, I am as tall as she, but yet, she still treats me as if I were even now her student. I have done everything but come out and told her I love her. It is amazing at how crazy she makes me feel. Oh Kami Jin-san, are all women this confusing?"

Knowing I was the least informed person on this subject, I decided to keep quiet and only be there for the young man to vent his anguish, be it most uncomfortable to do so. I slid my hands into the sleeves of my gray gi and closed my eyes. Much to my surprise Sousuke remained quiet for a long time. The sound of the night began to engulf us, as I took a seat beside the young man, completing my training for the evening. His voice startled me as he began to speak.

"Jin-san, in these past years, you have become the closest man physically to me yet I know the least about your past. Save for Mariya Enshirou."

He spoke those last words so low, I barely heard them but I would have been able to make out the name even if a mute mouthed it 5 meters away from me. The name still haunted me. Not fear, but sorrow no amount of meditation could erase. There was a few times when I did not think of him. The times I was with my comrades or just the time I was with them. Either of them.

"Hmm," I replied, hoping he would discontinue the conversation.

"Well Jin-san, do you wish to tell me of this? I know you still have some enemies besides my own. The last few subordinates of the Nagatomi gang hardly rear their heads around here anymore. Yet you still have many to swordfight against. I have heard them say they are here in the name of Mariya Enshirou. Who is this? What happened?"

I did not answer.

"I demand you tell me!" he screamed.

'Why,' I thought. Why could we not leave the past the past and look at today for what it is?

"I defended my life and in the process…took the life of my sensei."

It was hard for me to discuss this. I had not even commented on this since the night I sat at the campfire with Mugen and Fuu. The difference between then and now was Fuu. Talking about it with her being there just eased my pain. I thought I would feel awkward about telling her. Telling Mugen was not a problem because I was sure he had probably done something just as serious. But the idea of telling Fuu, made me worry. Once the words left my mouth, I almost felt eased looking up into Fuu's understanding eyes.

Sousuke stood up, walking back to the top of the stairs. I heard him stop moving and turn back towards me. "I know there will come a time when you will have to leave me, Jin-san. I just want you to know I understand what you are going through and I do not look down at your circumstances. Perhaps when you do leave you will at least find what ever it is you are searching for." He continued walking, leaving me alone on the steps.

Actually I had found what I was looking for sometime ago; comrades. I had even found something I did not know I was looking for, love. More love than I knew I deserved. It was odd just to know someone out there had feelings for me at all. I was worried of investigating love. Almost 3 years had passed and I knew time could do many things to people. But the curious side of me still wondered. Could a woman I had never even tried contacting, still love me after this much time? The only way I could answer my question was to go on another journey. At least I knew no matter what had changed, we still shared the stars.