It's time for everyone's favorite show, brought to you by a guy who doesn't own Shaman King,
PIMP MY OVERSOUL!
A teenage boy with black hair swung a glistening, ancient sword. A strange glow with a demonic looking face and shields surrounded the blade. The boy was listening to music on his headphones, but was still bored.
"This oversoul is boring," Yoh muttered. "I wish it was awesome!"
Suddenly, an explosion shocked the young shaman. Why, it was Xzamin ((God, my name parodies suck)), the host of every shaman's favorite reality show!
"XZAMIN?" exclaimed a shocked Yoh. "Why, what are you doing here?"
"You asked me to come here," insisted Xzamin. "You volunteered for this on the DNMTV ((Definitely No Music Television)) website."
"Yeah, I know. I was just acting to add a sense of surprise and unexpected joy."
"Lessee your ova'soul," said the host, grabbing the sword from the young shaman's hands. "Your focus is a samurai sword, eh? OVA'SOUL IT!"
"Er…I did."
"What? This is really a piece of sh…ugar." He looked at an FCC agent, who nodded. Xzamin sighed in relief. "No wonder you're on this show!"
---
The host walked into the room where the team fixed up oversouls. He dropped the focus, Harusame, on the floor. The men all gasped.
"It's so dull!"
"Who thinks that is interesting at all?"
"We need to operate, and fast!"
Suddenly, the third guy was shot through the head (by an unknown being) for saying such a corny line. He slumped to the ground. The FCC agent sighed and wrote this show on his "to sue" list. He was shot down too.
"Who's doing that?" asked a fourth member of the team. Everyone shrugged, but decided to forget about the deaths.
---
Amidamaru and Yoh were standing (or floating) near the building where Harusame was being upgraded. The samurai ghost sighed and turned to his shaman partner.
"Lord Yoh," said Amidamaru, "I feel uncomfortable having my sword being worked on by anyone other than Mosuke."
Yoh froze. "…Was that a yaoi hint?"
"WHAT! No…of course not…"
---
But in the building, there was tension between two of the workers.
"I did not eat the fucking sandwich!" shouted a demonic looking elf, his red skin covered in spikes. "You're a damn liar!"
"Would I lie?" asked an angel in a uniform. "I do believe that an angel is much more believable than an evil devil midget!"
"Stop it!" exclaimed Xzamin, who dropped a stolen sandwich and put his hand in between them. "If your blood splatters onto this kid's oversoul, he might cut out our vital organs with it! And none of you want that, do you?"
"No sir!"
The FCC man wiped the blood of his face with a handkerchief and wrote down a note about this conversation. And the whole incident that resulted in his blood spraying everywhere.
---
Yoh was eating a shaved ice from the ice cream store/Chinese restaurant that once burned down. Amidamaru was staring at his. Damn…transparency.
"So…" said Yoh. "I'm pretty sure that in most reality shows the people get to do things while the show takes place."
"I know nothing of this. We'll just wait."
"But the last time, you were waiting for centuries!"
"Yes…Yes I was, Master Yoh."
---
Xzamin, after being annoyed by the process of oversoul fixing, decided to ditch the team. He completed daily tasks, such as yoga lessons and returning paint brushes to the local store. It didn't matter if the team members were shooting or eviscerating each other. They could easily be replaced by their clones.
Suddenly, Xzamin's cell phone started to play an N-Sync song. Embarrassed, he quickly turned it off. That song meant that it was time to return to the show.
---
When he arrived, nearly everyone was on the floor, bleeding. Some people were missing limbs. One person was hanging halfway out the window.
Xzamin saw a tarp hanging over an object. He peeked under it. Despite the violent war amongst the team, the oversoul was complete and safe. Thanks to technology, he could digitally edit out the bodies.
"YOH!" exclaimed Xzamin. "YOUR OVERSOUL IS READY!"
The noise caused Yoh to run in. One of the comatose team members woke up to explain what they did.
"Yoh Asakura," said the man with a bullet in his head, "We think you'll love this new oversoul. Let's reveal it!"
He threw off the tarp. Underneath it was Harusame. Only with one difference.
There was a car connected to it. That's right. A whole frickin' car.
It was painted bright, neon blue with green streaks along the sides. The man ran up to Yoh and put his arm on Yoh's shoulder. Amidamaru's jaw dropped a cartoon-like length.
"You'll love this car-er…sword!" the designer exclaimed. "We got DVD players, removable roof, cell phone, massage seats, hell, we added shit that doesn't even make any sense at all!"
"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY BELOVED SWORD!" shouted the samurai ghost, running to the blade attached to the pimped-out car. "This…you ruined it!"
"If by ruined you mean…" started the oversoul designer, "…pimped!"
"I'm going to kill myself…" Amidamaru muttered before remembering that he had already been killed. "Oh. Well, I'm going to heaven."
"Wait!" cried Yoh. "What about the Shaman Fight? Y'know, that thing with the pointy swords and loud guns!"
"The oversoul won't work! It's no longer the symbol of a samurai. It's a frickin' automobile for crying out loud!"
Amidamaru disappeared into a flash of blue light. Yoh broke the sword off, slashed the car's tires and stomped off, angry.
At the back of the building, Horohoro was snowboarding. The oversoul was now painted red and silver with fire spraying out the back. Kororo's leaf was painted with fireballs on both sides.
Horohoro could continue fighting in the Shaman Fight. Yoh was damned to elimination with the loss of his samurai partner. What would he do? How would he survive Anna's wrath?
"Hey, they put a frozen yogurt machine in the trunk, too!"