Title: Playing House (STILL trying to choose an official title)
Chapter: 02 - Panic! Domestic tension!
Pairing: Roy x Ed
Genre: Romance, yaoi, humor
Summary: Roy's womanizing past catches up on him when he least expects it... how will he and Ed handle this?
Rating: Currently PG-13 (for potty-mouth Ed), but may end up higher in later chapters.
Note: This is based on an old RPG I used to run... The idea just wouldn't leave me alone so I had to write it out. I suppose in some ways you could say that my Edward (littlepen) is a co-author, at least for the first few chapters.
It's not really canon... the RPG strayed from the series before episode twenty-five and thus certain things may be off in this fanfic.
This chapter is devoted to dragonfemme, whom left the most lovely comment on chapter one that really got me to pump out this chapter. So thanks, sweetness!
I would also like to thank everyone else that commented. I appreciate the feedback. I'm not that good of an author, but comments really give me a feel of where to go with this, so keep it up. It also gives me the willpower to go on when I burn out.
...I'm also trying to think of a decent title. Any suggestions?

Nightfall was a very welcome thing in the opinion of Edward Elric. With Al asleep in his room and Zachary tucked in to sleep on the couch he could pretend that things were normal. That his lover hadn't just discovered he was the father of a four year-old boy.

Of course, ROY couldn't forget it. Ed looked at his poor lover, lying beside him and looking totally stressed out. He couldn't help but feel sorry for the man, though he would never admit it outside of the bedroom in the dead of night.

Finally Ed determined that it was up to him to ease Roy's nerves. After all, if he was in this position he'd expect the man to do the same for him.

"Hey, Roy... you okay?" Ed asked quietly, trailing a hand over the man's muscular chest. Roy let out a sigh and relaxed into Edward's touch.

"Yeah. It's just a lot to take in. That's all..." Roy explained, "I really have no idea how to be a good father..."

Edward scoffed at this, and punched his lover's chest gently.

"I already told you you'd make a good dad, dumbass. Don't you believe me?" he demanded. Roy forced a smile.

"...yeah. You did say that. And I guess you're right. It's just a lot to do on my own..." Roy explained, Ed shrugged.

"Don't worry. You have me to help, right? I do pretty well with Elysia, so this kid should be no problem to help watch. Besides, the way he looks like a little you was kind of cute, once I got over the ill feeling and twitching..."

Roy laughed and pulled Edward into a deep kiss, holding the young man close to him even after the kiss ended.

"Have I told you lately how perfect you are, Edward? You really make me feel complete..." Roy whispered in Ed's ear as he nibbled on the edge of it. Edward scowled.

"Enough foreplay, old man! I'm SIXTEEN. I don't have the patience to let you nibble and tease like that!" Edward growled. Roy sighed.

"Oh well. I suppose I'll give in to your demands tonight..." He agreed, beginning to strip off Edward's pajamas as the boy snaked a hand into his boxers.

Then the sound of the door opening echoed through the room, and the two stopped dead in their tracks, pulling away from each other.

"Papa... I had a bad dream. Can I sleep with you?" the small voice asked. Roy sighed, but nodded.

"Yeah, get in bed."

The small boy crawled into the bed directly between Roy and Ed, and snuggled up to his Papa for the remainder of the night.

Ed would have sworn that the four year-old gave him a dirty glare before nodding off to sleep.

Living with his Papa was pretty fun. Zachary had always wanted a papa, after all, and to finally have one was a wonderful feeling. Of course he missed his mother, but that woman had left him. And she'd been clear that she wouldn't be coming back. No, Papa was all he had now.

Of course, there was the matter of Edward to deal with. If that man made Papa get rid of him like his mother's boyfriend had it would be bad. But Zachary was fairly sure that he could break up his Papa and the mean, obnoxious guy.

Zachary spared a glance to his Papa, who was on the phone in the other room, trying to convince whoever was on the other end that he did indeed need to take the day off to watch his newly-discovered son. Edward was still asleep in bed, as was Alphonse.

Deciding that he was hungry Zachary took off into the kitchen and opened various cabinet doors in search of food. His Papa was fun, but he really didn't have much good food. The boy continued his search until he finally came across a package of chocolate chip cookies. Grabbing the delicious treat the boy sat down at the table and ate, waiting for his Papa to finish up his phone call and come play with him.

"Zachary? What are you into?" Roy asked, entering the room and looking at his son with a raised eyebrow, "Are those cookies? They must be Edward's. Oh well, I guess he won't mind sharing with you..."

"It isn't going to work out, Al. That kid is a total demon!" Edward ranted to his brother, who raised an eyebrow and glanced into the other room, where Roy was reading a book to the innocent-looking little child.

"...he's just a kid, Niisan. How bad can it be?"

Edward just about exploded. How bad could it be?

"That kid has been going out of his way to get between me and MY shithead lover, and gives me dirty looks whenever Roy isn't looking! He's trying to STEAL him from me!" Edward insisted animatedly. Al merely tried not to laugh.

"He's probably just delighted to have a chance to know his father, Niisan. And you DID make a rather bad first impression. Maybe you two should try to work things out. I'm sure that he ISN'T trying to steal away your... shithead lover?" Al questioned. Ed fumed.

"That's what Roy is."

"...sometimes I wonder how in the world you two stay together." Al muttered. Edward shrugged.

"We have separated like... five times in one six-month period." He pointed out.

"Yeah. But never for more than a few days. And it's always you that's doing the walking out, too. You get angry and leave, coming back when you cool off. In fact, I'm surprised that you didn't leave when Zachary first showed up."

Edward blinked. He had been rather upset at the time, but it was more out of his jealousy that somebody else could do something as personal as giving Roy a kid than that the kid was actually there.

It was a pretty stupid reason to be upset. He was male. Of course he couldn't give Roy any kids. That kind of thing only happened in a few badly-written stories he had at one point come across. But that didn't mean that he couldn't WANT to share something that personal with Roy, right?

Not that he WOULD want to, of course.

At first the kid didn't really seem so bad, either. His mother abandoned him, so he could easily take over and help Roy raise the child, right? They could keep the kid happy and secure and Roy could still pay attention to him on a regular basis too.

But instead he got a little twerp dumped on his doorstep that was intent on stealing all of the attention he craved from Roy. And did it ever make him MAD.

Alphonse watched his brother's face with first confusion, and then understanding.

"Niisan, I think things will be okay. You and Zachary just need to get to know each other a little better." Alphonse assured his brother, "and I'm sure you'll get used to Zachary. Kids are needy, but it will probably get better soon."

Alphonse HOPED it would, at least. He didn't particularly need his brother at war with a four year-old boy.

Although judging by his brother's statement after digging around in the pantry it might be too late.

"That little brat ate MY cookies!"

tbc